Re: I'm so glad to find you all!

[Guest guest]

My 16 year old son with 'moderate' OCD, but lots of anxiety is on Paxil.

The reason for Paxil is that Zoloft did nothing for him, and Paxil does have a

slight sedating effect. His anxiety and overwhelming fear of not being

perfect was destroying him. I am a bit uncomfortable with Paxil, I admit, but

it

has soothed his anxiety a bit, now we are slightly increasing the dose. At

first we told nobody about his OCD, but when it began interferring with school,

we did tell his school/teachers/administrators. He is in a private school

which is not equipped to deal with special issue kids, but they have been more

than kind and understanding to him. I hope he will get through the 11th

grade, although his grades have already suffered. We will see what happens if

he can continue there in the 12th grade. I think all of us would prefer not

to medicate children, but I believe in the wonder of these meds, I just watch

him closely for any side effects, he sees his doctor twice a week, and we

will take it one step at a time.

What else can we do?

[Guest guest]

My 16 year old son with 'moderate' OCD, but lots of anxiety is on Paxil.

The reason for Paxil is that Zoloft did nothing for him, and Paxil does have a

slight sedating effect. His anxiety and overwhelming fear of not being

perfect was destroying him. I am a bit uncomfortable with Paxil, I admit, but

it

has soothed his anxiety a bit, now we are slightly increasing the dose. At

first we told nobody about his OCD, but when it began interferring with school,

we did tell his school/teachers/administrators. He is in a private school

which is not equipped to deal with special issue kids, but they have been more

than kind and understanding to him. I hope he will get through the 11th

grade, although his grades have already suffered. We will see what happens if

he can continue there in the 12th grade. I think all of us would prefer not

to medicate children, but I believe in the wonder of these meds, I just watch

him closely for any side effects, he sees his doctor twice a week, and we

will take it one step at a time.

What else can we do?

[Guest guest]

,

A few words out of my/our chapter.

First, why do his friends have to know that he's on meds for OCD? Second, the

meds don't have any type of sedative effect or other psycho affect that he may

be hearing about. It's interesting that all of the negative publicity he is

getting is probably from people who have never needed it or tried it. OCD is

not ADD, or ADHD. Ask yourself this, is it better to be on meds and feeling

better, or to stay off to please the peer pressure and live in silent hell?

My wife was so against medicating for any reason. And I'm not talking about our

OCD daughter. So for years I didn't take any meds for my anxiety. Until I got

to the point where I said, " screw it, it has to be better than this! " I never

got her to buy into the necessity of me taking meds ( " why can't you just be

happy with all of our blessings?... " ), but at least I got her to respect my

decision to take the meds. After about 6 months of being on them, she said she

agreed that she noticed a marked improvement in my attitude, and without any

sedation. Yes, she admitted that it wasn't so bad after all.

Meds can come with a stigma. But hey, like I told her, if it doesn't work out,

get off of them. Nothing is final. I say, don't knock them until you've tried

them. You don't have to be schizophrenic in order to need medication. And you

would be surprised to see how many of those around you take medications for

anxiety or depression. Xanax, a tranquilizer, is one of the most, if not THE

most prescribed medication in the US. And it's not just being prescribed in

mental hospitals!

You won't see a part of his personality disappear. What you will see is the son

you have been missing all along. Also, it won't be overnight. Many on this

list will tell you they've been chasing it for years. And our therapist has

told us that in many cases it's a lifelong battle. You never get cured, you

only learn to teach yourself the right decisions.

If you are deadset against meds, try the CBT (therapy) for a while. Hopefully

he's in favor of trying to improve his life. When you get desperate (as we

are), you get so angry and frustrated with the OCD that trivial things like

medication stigma is a small consequence to pay for peace of mind.

Hope this helps,

FD

klwicklund77 wrote:

My son, 13, will be seeing a psychiatrist in a week to have his first

analysis - I don't think we have anyone in the family with ocd so I

didn't recognize what I was seeing - but, I've read widely and knew

this or that about the " hand washing/counting people " . The clues

clicked together one day - followed by me asking him . . . " how many

times a day do you wash your hands??? " Then when I read a book on it

he and I came up with a pretty long list of things we think are

involved. I've had to hear things in the past few weeks that pain

me - he's able to see them for what they are and is telling me things

he never told me all these years. .. . . oy.

I have so very many things to say but I'll get right to my two

questions - both are about possible medications.

First, he has said he really really doesn't want to take either

zoloft or prozac - the teen grapevine has spread bad rumours about

them - that's fine with me to a point (there are other treatments)

since I'm not interested in trying to get him to do anything he

doesn't want to do just now. Does anyone suppose it will be a

problem saying NO to these two to the doctor? Any chance she's going

to strongly prefer either one?

Second, though I'd love to see what his life is like without the

symptoms . . . should I be prepared for the disappearance of aspects

of his personality that I just adore? Has anyone seen this happen?

I'm pretty concerned about this . . . should I be?

Thanks so much

Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., (

http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan,

Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail

Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be

addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... ,

louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

,

A few words out of my/our chapter.

First, why do his friends have to know that he's on meds for OCD? Second, the

meds don't have any type of sedative effect or other psycho affect that he may

be hearing about. It's interesting that all of the negative publicity he is

getting is probably from people who have never needed it or tried it. OCD is

not ADD, or ADHD. Ask yourself this, is it better to be on meds and feeling

better, or to stay off to please the peer pressure and live in silent hell?

My wife was so against medicating for any reason. And I'm not talking about our

OCD daughter. So for years I didn't take any meds for my anxiety. Until I got

to the point where I said, " screw it, it has to be better than this! " I never

got her to buy into the necessity of me taking meds ( " why can't you just be

happy with all of our blessings?... " ), but at least I got her to respect my

decision to take the meds. After about 6 months of being on them, she said she

agreed that she noticed a marked improvement in my attitude, and without any

sedation. Yes, she admitted that it wasn't so bad after all.

Meds can come with a stigma. But hey, like I told her, if it doesn't work out,

get off of them. Nothing is final. I say, don't knock them until you've tried

them. You don't have to be schizophrenic in order to need medication. And you

would be surprised to see how many of those around you take medications for

anxiety or depression. Xanax, a tranquilizer, is one of the most, if not THE

most prescribed medication in the US. And it's not just being prescribed in

mental hospitals!

You won't see a part of his personality disappear. What you will see is the son

you have been missing all along. Also, it won't be overnight. Many on this

list will tell you they've been chasing it for years. And our therapist has

told us that in many cases it's a lifelong battle. You never get cured, you

only learn to teach yourself the right decisions.

If you are deadset against meds, try the CBT (therapy) for a while. Hopefully

he's in favor of trying to improve his life. When you get desperate (as we

are), you get so angry and frustrated with the OCD that trivial things like

medication stigma is a small consequence to pay for peace of mind.

Hope this helps,

FD

klwicklund77 wrote:

My son, 13, will be seeing a psychiatrist in a week to have his first

analysis - I don't think we have anyone in the family with ocd so I

didn't recognize what I was seeing - but, I've read widely and knew

this or that about the " hand washing/counting people " . The clues

clicked together one day - followed by me asking him . . . " how many

times a day do you wash your hands??? " Then when I read a book on it

he and I came up with a pretty long list of things we think are

involved. I've had to hear things in the past few weeks that pain

me - he's able to see them for what they are and is telling me things

he never told me all these years. .. . . oy.

I have so very many things to say but I'll get right to my two

questions - both are about possible medications.

First, he has said he really really doesn't want to take either

zoloft or prozac - the teen grapevine has spread bad rumours about

them - that's fine with me to a point (there are other treatments)

since I'm not interested in trying to get him to do anything he

doesn't want to do just now. Does anyone suppose it will be a

problem saying NO to these two to the doctor? Any chance she's going

to strongly prefer either one?

Second, though I'd love to see what his life is like without the

symptoms . . . should I be prepared for the disappearance of aspects

of his personality that I just adore? Has anyone seen this happen?

I'm pretty concerned about this . . . should I be?

Thanks so much

Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., (

http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan,

Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail

Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be

addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... ,

louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

You're right, we haven't yet neared a point of desperation -

But, I think I need to explain his friend situation a little

further. He has a widely cast net of friends and we've lived in the

same town so at least half of them are 'from the beginning'. They

are a kind group of boys (and girls) and they talk to each other and

are supportive of each other. 'A' had ocd as a younger boy, 'B' and

his father suffer from depression, 'C' has adhd and is

medicated, 'D's dad is an alcoholic, 'E' has anger management

problems, 'F's Mom has crippling migraines, 'G's dad is dying from MS

and 'H' hasn't officially come out of the closet yet... he says most

of his friends have 'problems' and they talk to each other about

them - so, I'm sure he'll be sharing his treatment both

pharmaceutical and behavioral with his friends so he'll have them

behind him.

My tone of voice was missing when I said he won't take prozac or

zoloft - if I handed him a pill of either right now his reaction

would be the same if I offered him a congealed bacon grease hair

pomade and told him he couldn't go wash his hands . . . we're lucky

there are other treatment options because he would need treatment

before he'd accept receive that particular treatment!

I read somewhere recently that it is common for those with ocd to

have certain personality traits - tenderhearted, strong conscience,

thoughtful - I guess my concern was that these things about my son

that I adore will be medicated away - after your reassurance and

after some thought I guess common traits don't necessarily mean

common afflictions and they will remain as the ruminations fade away.

His doubting, ruminating fears and subtle rituals to ward off danger

started so very long ago when he was so very young that I don't think

I know who or what the " real " Cody IS! What exactly will I get

back? What will he return TO? You all make it sound like a

wonderful experience! I imagine I will adore that Cody as much as I

adore this one.

>

> My son, 13, will be seeing a psychiatrist in a week to have his

first

> analysis - I don't think we have anyone in the family with ocd so I

> didn't recognize what I was seeing - but, I've read widely and knew

> this or that about the " hand washing/counting people " . The clues

> clicked together one day - followed by me asking him . . . " how

many

> times a day do you wash your hands??? " Then when I read a book on

it

> he and I came up with a pretty long list of things we think are

> involved. I've had to hear things in the past few weeks that pain

> me - he's able to see them for what they are and is telling me

things

> he never told me all these years. .. . . oy.

>

> I have so very many things to say but I'll get right to my two

> questions - both are about possible medications.

>

> First, he has said he really really doesn't want to take either

> zoloft or prozac - the teen grapevine has spread bad rumours about

> them - that's fine with me to a point (there are other treatments)

> since I'm not interested in trying to get him to do anything he

> doesn't want to do just now. Does anyone suppose it will be a

> problem saying NO to these two to the doctor? Any chance she's

going

> to strongly prefer either one?

>

> Second, though I'd love to see what his life is like without the

> symptoms . . . should I be prepared for the disappearance of

aspects

> of his personality that I just adore? Has anyone seen this

happen?

> I'm pretty concerned about this . . . should I be?

>

> Thanks so much

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be

accessed at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner,

Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are

Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye,

Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription

issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner,

at louisharkins@y... , louisharkins@h... , louisharkins@g... .

>

>

>

>

>