Re: Is it normal to recognize some BP in yourself?

January 25, 2001

.....Hi, I'm back after weeks of just having printed and read all of your

posts, carefully and gratefully. I think that the difference between BPs and

KOs is that if KOs have some signs of BPD, they RECOGNIZE it and try to do

something about it, rather than inflict their problems on their kids the way

our nadas/fadas did.

Kathy

January 25, 2001

I agree. Someone mentioned " speaking the BP's language. "

I really like that analogy. Because when you grow up in a home speaking one

language, and you have to go out into the world and speak another language

to everyone else, it's a big adjustment.

But with practice, normal becomes a second language to us. Maybe years from

now, we'll even lose our BP accents!

Thanks,

Rosemary

On Thu, 25 Jan 2001 08:16:52 EST, ModOasisegroups wrote:

> ....Hi, I'm back after weeks of just having printed and read all of your

> posts, carefully and gratefully. I think that the difference between BPs

and

> KOs is that if KOs have some signs of BPD, they RECOGNIZE it and try to

do

> something about it, rather than inflict their problems on their kids the

way

> our nadas/fadas did.

>

> Kathy

Do or do not, there is no try. Lucas

_______________________________________________________

Send a cool gift with your E-Card

http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/

January 25, 2001

I agree. Someone mentioned " speaking the BP's language. "

I really like that analogy. Because when you grow up in a home speaking one

language, and you have to go out into the world and speak another language

to everyone else, it's a big adjustment.

But with practice, normal becomes a second language to us. Maybe years from

now, we'll even lose our BP accents!

Thanks,

Rosemary

On Thu, 25 Jan 2001 08:16:52 EST, ModOasisegroups wrote:

> ....Hi, I'm back after weeks of just having printed and read all of your

> posts, carefully and gratefully. I think that the difference between BPs

and

> KOs is that if KOs have some signs of BPD, they RECOGNIZE it and try to

do

> something about it, rather than inflict their problems on their kids the

way

> our nadas/fadas did.

>

> Kathy

Do or do not, there is no try. Lucas

_______________________________________________________

Send a cool gift with your E-Card

http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/

January 25, 2001

I agree. Someone mentioned " speaking the BP's language. "

I really like that analogy. Because when you grow up in a home speaking one

language, and you have to go out into the world and speak another language

to everyone else, it's a big adjustment.

But with practice, normal becomes a second language to us. Maybe years from

now, we'll even lose our BP accents!

Thanks,

Rosemary

On Thu, 25 Jan 2001 08:16:52 EST, ModOasisegroups wrote:

> ....Hi, I'm back after weeks of just having printed and read all of your

> posts, carefully and gratefully. I think that the difference between BPs

and

> KOs is that if KOs have some signs of BPD, they RECOGNIZE it and try to

do

> something about it, rather than inflict their problems on their kids the

way

> our nadas/fadas did.

>

> Kathy

Do or do not, there is no try. Lucas

_______________________________________________________

Send a cool gift with your E-Card

http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/

January 26, 2001

Does everyones BP " accent " include the worst curse words ever created???

January 26, 2001

> Does everyones BP " accent " include the worst curse words ever

created???

>

I think it is depends on 'dialect' ones nada/fada is talking,

nada's/fada's ability to understand some 'foreign' languages and also

of ones desire or need to be understood for whatever reason. If you

can't walk away or you don't want to give up your dream and/or don't

want just to roll over and die you face the 'music'. :)

Bagira

January 26, 2001

asked:

<<

Does everyones BP " accent " include the worst curse words ever created???

>>

No, to curse or not to curse, is a choice of how one expresses one's

self.

My nada quoted scripture. She listened to the preachers on the radio

every day, all day. I think that provided her with a " stream of

consciousness " . But she never attended a church after she married my

father. But we kids were sent to church -- religiously.

)

ha ha ha

I can laugh about it now but this reminded me of when I was a kid in

grade school and this joke was going around. And one day, everyone in

class was giggling and the teacher said, " What's cooking? " And I spoke

up in a loud clear voice and said, " Bacon, wanna strip? " Oi!!! I don't

remember whether she beat my extended hands across the knuckles for that

one??? Seeing that I still have the memory, maybe she did??? I had that

same teacher for four years. Life *was* tough! I'm glad they don't hit

the kids in school any more. I sure got my share... but still it was

worse at home...

Hugs,

Edith

..

January 27, 2001

Facing the music... I like that one! I don't know about the rest of you, but

my nada and I never have conversations,,, the most we ever actually talk is

when we are on the phone, because she doesnt have to look at me... But my

name is never said in my house... I must answer to (f...ing idiot)... every

other word out of her mouth is the f word... any one else's like that?

January 27, 2001

> I don't know about the rest of you, but my nada and I never have

>conversations,,,

Yep, it was difficult for me to talk to my mother too. She was either

in her 'patronizing' mode or she would got too dramatic or too

enthusiastic and overbearing, or simply go in her screaming/raging

mode. I had a very few 'normal' conversation with my nada.

> my

> name is never said in my house...

My nada would talk with my father about me using word 'she', when I

was in the same room.

>I must answer to (f...ing idiot)... every

> other word out of her mouth is the f word... any one else's like

that?

I am sorry to hear this. My nada did not push me to answer to things

like (f...ing idiot). It was more like " I hate you don't leave me "

cycle for us.

When nada was raging she called me names and would say horrible

things, like 'It would be better if you never been born'. She even

tried to strangle me once with a towel once. She would say, " I

don't

want to talk to you anymore ever. " ; and then it was quiet after

that . I was even afraid to breathe, because it was my dream come

true. However, it was only happening when she was raging. In hour

or two she would start to talk to me again first in strict voice,

like she is forgiving me and then she would become more tender, and

would hug and kiss me, calling me pet names and terms of endearment.

If I asked her: 'Mother, how you can be like that? " she would

say:

" I was angry. Did you always mean what you say, when you are

angry? "

I guess, words did not mean a lot for her .

{{{}}}

Bagira

January 27, 2001

The big " f " has just become a part of my MM's vocabulary. She never really

was much of a swearer, but that recently has become a weapon of choice. I

think she is just really getting frustrated that we are all drawing our