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Hi Debbi, please don't feel guilty for making a parent's decision about

what's right for your son. All we can ever do, is do what we think is right

in a situation, in the moment. It's not like this program is going to

disappear tomorrow: if you change your mind or other things change, you can

reconsider this option.

I would certainly tell the referring psychiatrist what you've decided and

why. She may have been mislead about the partial hospitalization program

and would benefit from knowing about your experience with it. By all means

search for another psychiatrist if you no longer have confidence in this

one. We enter into partnerships with these docs to get our kids well, and

that's very difficult if you no longer have faith in your " partner's "

judgment.

Over time, reading posts to this list, it seems the most common problem

parents run into with hospitalization for their OCD child, is that some

hospitals do not know how to treat OCD specifically.

Dr. Aureen, adviser to this list, has many times suggested anxiety programs

and professionals affiliated with hospitals as being among the best and most

up-to-date. A children's OCD clinic at UCLA sounds like it would certainly

be a likely choice to help your son.

(((Hugs))) and good luck in finding appropriate treatment for your son!

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: <debbiap@...

> Hi again,

>

> I am feeling sort of guilty here because I decided to withdraw my 9 yr old

> son from the partial hospitalization program. It is not the right program

> for

> him. Plus, I really feel like they weren't doing what I was told they

> would do.

>

> I was told that he would be placed in a small group of children all his

> age

> with the same problems. (ocd and depression) Told that the pysch would be

> with

> him all day to learn all his habits and be able to make a good diagnosis.

> Told

> that he would have lots of fun going to art class, recess, and school 2 to

> 3

> hours a day. Told there were other partial kids with him and some that

> stayed

> full time.

>

> Instead he was with 15 kids up to age 13. None of the other kids were

> partial

> patients. The rules are different, full timers get visits and get time to

> play with toys (etc), phone calls and are allowed to go to their rooms,

> patials

> don't get to participate in this. My son sat in the hallway in a chair

> during

> the full timers free time. He asked if he could bring a stuffed animal

> tomorrow

> (since full timers had them at the therapy sessions) and was told he

> couldn't

> because he's partial. All of these kids were in for anger management. They

> were threatening to kill each other. Several times kids were put in

> solitary and

> all kids would lose points (including my son). They use points to buy

> things.

> His never saw his psych, they handed out one page of math problems for

> " school " and they never had recess or exercise (both on the schedule). I

> asked if my

> son would be able to use his points to buy things in the " store " like the

> full timers and they said they would make sure he did (they spend their

> points

> each day). This never happened.

>

> I told the staff when I took my son in, that he is very well behaved, a

> really sweet kid, easily bullied. They said they would look out for him,

> but I feel

> they didn't. He was soooo stressed out when I picked him up, he looked

> like

> he cried all day. On the way home he told me horror stories (and learned

> some

> not so good words). The stories just made him cry and cry. Kids talking of

> abuse they've received from parents. Graphic abuse.

>

> What really got me was that the psych called me earlier today and told me

> that they would work on one thing at a time. Today they would get rid of a

> bag he

> was holding (to keep things in). She also said ds was hanging on to a

> paper

> cup and they would work on his throwing out the cup tomorrow. Well, when I

> picked him up I saw a staff member grab the cup from ds and throw it in

> the trash.

> DS really started crying and trying to explain that he was told he could

> keep

> this one thing. The guy told him to " stop it " . He actually looks at me and

> says, " What's wrong with him? " " Why are you crying? " I told the man to

> give ds

> the cup. He said, " I thought we were suppose to throw out all his trash. "

> Then

> he asked someone else about it and that man said he didn't know. (These

> are

> two men that were working with my son) I told them the Dr told me he

> could

> keep it till tomorrow. The man got it out of the trash and then tells DS,

> " just

> toss this one, I'll get you a new one instead. " I thought to myself, this

> guy

> doesn't get it. DS is keeping the cup because ds used it, he doesn't want

> a new

> cup. Who is working with my son? I wanted out of there.

>

> Anyway, I really feel like this place has only added to the stress. I

> really

> think that since this staff is so use to dealing with angry kids, they

> have a

> habit of yelling and punishing them " all " . It was pretty sad. The worst

> was, I

> was told by 2 staff members that partial ended at 4pm. So I told ds that I

> would pick him up at 4. When I saw on a form that they get out at 5, I

> asked if

> I could tell ds this. They told me they would tell him themselves. I said

> they

> really needed to tell him because he would be waiting for me and would

> probably cry from 4 till 5 thinking I didn't come back for him. They

> promised to let

> him know. They of course didn't.

>

> I made sure I was there before 4 just in case. I asked at the front desk

> to

> go upstairs to my son and she said I couldn't go in till 5pm with all the

> visitors. So I waited an hour, still not knowing they never told him. When

> I

> finally got upstairs to get him, he was in the hallway in a chair (behind

> a door

> with a window) crying. He told me he had waited for me since 4. I

> explained that

> they should have told him I'd be there at 5, but instead they told him, if

> I

> arrived at 4 that I would be allowed to take him home early. So here he

> was,

> thinking I had abandoned him! Ack! I just wanted to scream.

>

> So, now where do we go? Should we continue with the psych who suggested

> this

> program? Do I trust her any more? Should I search for a new one? I am

> feeling

> pretty lost at the moment, but am just so happy to have my son home and

> tucked

> in bed. He also told me that he was determined to be like the guy in A

> Beautiful Mind and just get it under control himself! He never wants to go

> back. I

> am thinking the OCD Children's Center at UCLA would be better, since it's

> just

> that...for children with OCD. I'm not sure just now where to start, but

> then

> again, it's 11pm and I've been up and running around since 5am. So off to

> bed

> and I'll think about this tomorrow.

>

> Thanks for listening (if you're still reading! lol)

> Debbi

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Share on other sites

Hi Debbi, please don't feel guilty for making a parent's decision about

what's right for your son. All we can ever do, is do what we think is right

in a situation, in the moment. It's not like this program is going to

disappear tomorrow: if you change your mind or other things change, you can

reconsider this option.

I would certainly tell the referring psychiatrist what you've decided and

why. She may have been mislead about the partial hospitalization program

and would benefit from knowing about your experience with it. By all means

search for another psychiatrist if you no longer have confidence in this

one. We enter into partnerships with these docs to get our kids well, and

that's very difficult if you no longer have faith in your " partner's "

judgment.

Over time, reading posts to this list, it seems the most common problem

parents run into with hospitalization for their OCD child, is that some

hospitals do not know how to treat OCD specifically.

Dr. Aureen, adviser to this list, has many times suggested anxiety programs

and professionals affiliated with hospitals as being among the best and most

up-to-date. A children's OCD clinic at UCLA sounds like it would certainly

be a likely choice to help your son.

(((Hugs))) and good luck in finding appropriate treatment for your son!

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: <debbiap@...

> Hi again,

>

> I am feeling sort of guilty here because I decided to withdraw my 9 yr old

> son from the partial hospitalization program. It is not the right program

> for

> him. Plus, I really feel like they weren't doing what I was told they

> would do.

>

> I was told that he would be placed in a small group of children all his

> age

> with the same problems. (ocd and depression) Told that the pysch would be

> with

> him all day to learn all his habits and be able to make a good diagnosis.

> Told

> that he would have lots of fun going to art class, recess, and school 2 to

> 3

> hours a day. Told there were other partial kids with him and some that

> stayed

> full time.

>

> Instead he was with 15 kids up to age 13. None of the other kids were

> partial

> patients. The rules are different, full timers get visits and get time to

> play with toys (etc), phone calls and are allowed to go to their rooms,

> patials

> don't get to participate in this. My son sat in the hallway in a chair

> during

> the full timers free time. He asked if he could bring a stuffed animal

> tomorrow

> (since full timers had them at the therapy sessions) and was told he

> couldn't

> because he's partial. All of these kids were in for anger management. They

> were threatening to kill each other. Several times kids were put in

> solitary and

> all kids would lose points (including my son). They use points to buy

> things.

> His never saw his psych, they handed out one page of math problems for

> " school " and they never had recess or exercise (both on the schedule). I

> asked if my

> son would be able to use his points to buy things in the " store " like the

> full timers and they said they would make sure he did (they spend their

> points

> each day). This never happened.

>

> I told the staff when I took my son in, that he is very well behaved, a

> really sweet kid, easily bullied. They said they would look out for him,

> but I feel

> they didn't. He was soooo stressed out when I picked him up, he looked

> like

> he cried all day. On the way home he told me horror stories (and learned

> some

> not so good words). The stories just made him cry and cry. Kids talking of

> abuse they've received from parents. Graphic abuse.

>

> What really got me was that the psych called me earlier today and told me

> that they would work on one thing at a time. Today they would get rid of a

> bag he

> was holding (to keep things in). She also said ds was hanging on to a

> paper

> cup and they would work on his throwing out the cup tomorrow. Well, when I

> picked him up I saw a staff member grab the cup from ds and throw it in

> the trash.

> DS really started crying and trying to explain that he was told he could

> keep

> this one thing. The guy told him to " stop it " . He actually looks at me and

> says, " What's wrong with him? " " Why are you crying? " I told the man to

> give ds

> the cup. He said, " I thought we were suppose to throw out all his trash. "

> Then

> he asked someone else about it and that man said he didn't know. (These

> are

> two men that were working with my son) I told them the Dr told me he

> could

> keep it till tomorrow. The man got it out of the trash and then tells DS,

> " just

> toss this one, I'll get you a new one instead. " I thought to myself, this

> guy

> doesn't get it. DS is keeping the cup because ds used it, he doesn't want

> a new

> cup. Who is working with my son? I wanted out of there.

>

> Anyway, I really feel like this place has only added to the stress. I

> really

> think that since this staff is so use to dealing with angry kids, they

> have a

> habit of yelling and punishing them " all " . It was pretty sad. The worst

> was, I

> was told by 2 staff members that partial ended at 4pm. So I told ds that I

> would pick him up at 4. When I saw on a form that they get out at 5, I

> asked if

> I could tell ds this. They told me they would tell him themselves. I said

> they

> really needed to tell him because he would be waiting for me and would

> probably cry from 4 till 5 thinking I didn't come back for him. They

> promised to let

> him know. They of course didn't.

>

> I made sure I was there before 4 just in case. I asked at the front desk

> to

> go upstairs to my son and she said I couldn't go in till 5pm with all the

> visitors. So I waited an hour, still not knowing they never told him. When

> I

> finally got upstairs to get him, he was in the hallway in a chair (behind

> a door

> with a window) crying. He told me he had waited for me since 4. I

> explained that

> they should have told him I'd be there at 5, but instead they told him, if

> I

> arrived at 4 that I would be allowed to take him home early. So here he

> was,

> thinking I had abandoned him! Ack! I just wanted to scream.

>

> So, now where do we go? Should we continue with the psych who suggested

> this

> program? Do I trust her any more? Should I search for a new one? I am

> feeling

> pretty lost at the moment, but am just so happy to have my son home and

> tucked

> in bed. He also told me that he was determined to be like the guy in A

> Beautiful Mind and just get it under control himself! He never wants to go

> back. I

> am thinking the OCD Children's Center at UCLA would be better, since it's

> just

> that...for children with OCD. I'm not sure just now where to start, but

> then

> again, it's 11pm and I've been up and running around since 5am. So off to

> bed

> and I'll think about this tomorrow.

>

> Thanks for listening (if you're still reading! lol)

> Debbi

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Debbi, please don't feel guilty for making a parent's decision about

what's right for your son. All we can ever do, is do what we think is right

in a situation, in the moment. It's not like this program is going to

disappear tomorrow: if you change your mind or other things change, you can

reconsider this option.

I would certainly tell the referring psychiatrist what you've decided and

why. She may have been mislead about the partial hospitalization program

and would benefit from knowing about your experience with it. By all means

search for another psychiatrist if you no longer have confidence in this

one. We enter into partnerships with these docs to get our kids well, and

that's very difficult if you no longer have faith in your " partner's "

judgment.

Over time, reading posts to this list, it seems the most common problem

parents run into with hospitalization for their OCD child, is that some

hospitals do not know how to treat OCD specifically.

Dr. Aureen, adviser to this list, has many times suggested anxiety programs

and professionals affiliated with hospitals as being among the best and most

up-to-date. A children's OCD clinic at UCLA sounds like it would certainly

be a likely choice to help your son.

(((Hugs))) and good luck in finding appropriate treatment for your son!

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: <debbiap@...

> Hi again,

>

> I am feeling sort of guilty here because I decided to withdraw my 9 yr old

> son from the partial hospitalization program. It is not the right program

> for

> him. Plus, I really feel like they weren't doing what I was told they

> would do.

>

> I was told that he would be placed in a small group of children all his

> age

> with the same problems. (ocd and depression) Told that the pysch would be

> with

> him all day to learn all his habits and be able to make a good diagnosis.

> Told

> that he would have lots of fun going to art class, recess, and school 2 to

> 3

> hours a day. Told there were other partial kids with him and some that

> stayed

> full time.

>

> Instead he was with 15 kids up to age 13. None of the other kids were

> partial

> patients. The rules are different, full timers get visits and get time to

> play with toys (etc), phone calls and are allowed to go to their rooms,

> patials

> don't get to participate in this. My son sat in the hallway in a chair

> during

> the full timers free time. He asked if he could bring a stuffed animal

> tomorrow

> (since full timers had them at the therapy sessions) and was told he

> couldn't

> because he's partial. All of these kids were in for anger management. They

> were threatening to kill each other. Several times kids were put in

> solitary and

> all kids would lose points (including my son). They use points to buy

> things.

> His never saw his psych, they handed out one page of math problems for

> " school " and they never had recess or exercise (both on the schedule). I

> asked if my

> son would be able to use his points to buy things in the " store " like the

> full timers and they said they would make sure he did (they spend their

> points

> each day). This never happened.

>

> I told the staff when I took my son in, that he is very well behaved, a

> really sweet kid, easily bullied. They said they would look out for him,

> but I feel

> they didn't. He was soooo stressed out when I picked him up, he looked

> like

> he cried all day. On the way home he told me horror stories (and learned

> some

> not so good words). The stories just made him cry and cry. Kids talking of

> abuse they've received from parents. Graphic abuse.

>

> What really got me was that the psych called me earlier today and told me

> that they would work on one thing at a time. Today they would get rid of a

> bag he

> was holding (to keep things in). She also said ds was hanging on to a

> paper

> cup and they would work on his throwing out the cup tomorrow. Well, when I

> picked him up I saw a staff member grab the cup from ds and throw it in

> the trash.

> DS really started crying and trying to explain that he was told he could

> keep

> this one thing. The guy told him to " stop it " . He actually looks at me and

> says, " What's wrong with him? " " Why are you crying? " I told the man to

> give ds

> the cup. He said, " I thought we were suppose to throw out all his trash. "

> Then

> he asked someone else about it and that man said he didn't know. (These

> are

> two men that were working with my son) I told them the Dr told me he

> could

> keep it till tomorrow. The man got it out of the trash and then tells DS,

> " just

> toss this one, I'll get you a new one instead. " I thought to myself, this

> guy

> doesn't get it. DS is keeping the cup because ds used it, he doesn't want

> a new

> cup. Who is working with my son? I wanted out of there.

>

> Anyway, I really feel like this place has only added to the stress. I

> really

> think that since this staff is so use to dealing with angry kids, they

> have a

> habit of yelling and punishing them " all " . It was pretty sad. The worst

> was, I

> was told by 2 staff members that partial ended at 4pm. So I told ds that I

> would pick him up at 4. When I saw on a form that they get out at 5, I

> asked if

> I could tell ds this. They told me they would tell him themselves. I said

> they

> really needed to tell him because he would be waiting for me and would

> probably cry from 4 till 5 thinking I didn't come back for him. They

> promised to let

> him know. They of course didn't.

>

> I made sure I was there before 4 just in case. I asked at the front desk

> to

> go upstairs to my son and she said I couldn't go in till 5pm with all the

> visitors. So I waited an hour, still not knowing they never told him. When

> I

> finally got upstairs to get him, he was in the hallway in a chair (behind

> a door

> with a window) crying. He told me he had waited for me since 4. I

> explained that

> they should have told him I'd be there at 5, but instead they told him, if

> I

> arrived at 4 that I would be allowed to take him home early. So here he

> was,

> thinking I had abandoned him! Ack! I just wanted to scream.

>

> So, now where do we go? Should we continue with the psych who suggested

> this

> program? Do I trust her any more? Should I search for a new one? I am

> feeling

> pretty lost at the moment, but am just so happy to have my son home and

> tucked

> in bed. He also told me that he was determined to be like the guy in A

> Beautiful Mind and just get it under control himself! He never wants to go

> back. I

> am thinking the OCD Children's Center at UCLA would be better, since it's

> just

> that...for children with OCD. I'm not sure just now where to start, but

> then

> again, it's 11pm and I've been up and running around since 5am. So off to

> bed

> and I'll think about this tomorrow.

>

> Thanks for listening (if you're still reading! lol)

> Debbi

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you all for such nice replies. Now I have a new problem and I want to

ask for help. See, the psych called me and we had a short talk on her speaker

phone (other workers listening in from the program). She was trying to convince

me to put ds back in this program. I basically told her that this program was

not what I thought it would be and she basically told me that I was enabling

ds to continue hoarding because I did not keep him in the program. <sigh> She

really made me feel like I'm a really bad mother. At the same time my

instincts are telling me NOT to put him back in there. I've already told him he

won't

go back. He would really lose trust with me.

The pysch mentioned that this program of " hers " is the only one in So. Calif.

and if I tried taking him to UCLA (which I did call and they said I " had to "

ask the psych for permission first) that they would only send him back to her

program.

So first, I'm thinking, I will contact our insurance and ask if they have a

psych that specializes in OCD. But my question, is there anyone who treats

their child themself? I am determined to learn whatever I can and start

behavioral therapy myself.

One thing that ds's first therapist told me, was that it was okay to let him

keep his hoarding goods. It was okay for me to supply plastic bags and he even

said it sounded like a good idea to get him a container to put under his bed

(he could put his bits and pieces he saves there). I never did go out and buy

a container, but I did give him bags when he asked me for them. Now, this

psych tells me that she notices that I'm enabling him by giving him a bag. I

told

her the first therapist said this was a good idea, so was this wrong...I would

stop. She then said it wasn't wrong of the therapist to tell me this. So now,

I'm confused. I will be doing some looking around on the web for what I

should/shouldn't do since I'm getting mixed messages by the psych's, but does

anyone know of a way to learn how to do behavior therapy on our own?

By the way, Today I told ds that he would no longer be getting any bags to

carry his stuff. I asked if he could cut down on the hoarding and he suggested

that he no longer collect dust and asked me if it was okay to collect

containers. I thought this was a great improvement. He tells me that he is

trying

really hard because he never wants to go back to that hospital. I'm still not

sure

if I'm doing the right thing, but I've made up my mind that I can't wait to

find the right psych and the right program. Especially since the psych tells me

that there are no other programs in So. Calif (she may have said Calif, not

just southern).

Thanks for all the really nice emails. I don't know why they make me cry. I

guess I've never run into so many people that are so nice, all in one area too!

Thank you,

Debbi

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you all for such nice replies. Now I have a new problem and I want to

ask for help. See, the psych called me and we had a short talk on her speaker

phone (other workers listening in from the program). She was trying to convince

me to put ds back in this program. I basically told her that this program was

not what I thought it would be and she basically told me that I was enabling

ds to continue hoarding because I did not keep him in the program. <sigh> She

really made me feel like I'm a really bad mother. At the same time my

instincts are telling me NOT to put him back in there. I've already told him he

won't

go back. He would really lose trust with me.

The pysch mentioned that this program of " hers " is the only one in So. Calif.

and if I tried taking him to UCLA (which I did call and they said I " had to "

ask the psych for permission first) that they would only send him back to her

program.

So first, I'm thinking, I will contact our insurance and ask if they have a

psych that specializes in OCD. But my question, is there anyone who treats

their child themself? I am determined to learn whatever I can and start

behavioral therapy myself.

One thing that ds's first therapist told me, was that it was okay to let him

keep his hoarding goods. It was okay for me to supply plastic bags and he even

said it sounded like a good idea to get him a container to put under his bed

(he could put his bits and pieces he saves there). I never did go out and buy

a container, but I did give him bags when he asked me for them. Now, this

psych tells me that she notices that I'm enabling him by giving him a bag. I

told

her the first therapist said this was a good idea, so was this wrong...I would

stop. She then said it wasn't wrong of the therapist to tell me this. So now,

I'm confused. I will be doing some looking around on the web for what I

should/shouldn't do since I'm getting mixed messages by the psych's, but does

anyone know of a way to learn how to do behavior therapy on our own?

By the way, Today I told ds that he would no longer be getting any bags to

carry his stuff. I asked if he could cut down on the hoarding and he suggested

that he no longer collect dust and asked me if it was okay to collect

containers. I thought this was a great improvement. He tells me that he is

trying

really hard because he never wants to go back to that hospital. I'm still not

sure

if I'm doing the right thing, but I've made up my mind that I can't wait to

find the right psych and the right program. Especially since the psych tells me

that there are no other programs in So. Calif (she may have said Calif, not

just southern).

Thanks for all the really nice emails. I don't know why they make me cry. I

guess I've never run into so many people that are so nice, all in one area too!

Thank you,

Debbi

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you all for such nice replies. Now I have a new problem and I want to

ask for help. See, the psych called me and we had a short talk on her speaker

phone (other workers listening in from the program). She was trying to convince

me to put ds back in this program. I basically told her that this program was

not what I thought it would be and she basically told me that I was enabling

ds to continue hoarding because I did not keep him in the program. <sigh> She

really made me feel like I'm a really bad mother. At the same time my

instincts are telling me NOT to put him back in there. I've already told him he

won't

go back. He would really lose trust with me.

The pysch mentioned that this program of " hers " is the only one in So. Calif.

and if I tried taking him to UCLA (which I did call and they said I " had to "

ask the psych for permission first) that they would only send him back to her

program.

So first, I'm thinking, I will contact our insurance and ask if they have a

psych that specializes in OCD. But my question, is there anyone who treats

their child themself? I am determined to learn whatever I can and start

behavioral therapy myself.

One thing that ds's first therapist told me, was that it was okay to let him

keep his hoarding goods. It was okay for me to supply plastic bags and he even

said it sounded like a good idea to get him a container to put under his bed

(he could put his bits and pieces he saves there). I never did go out and buy

a container, but I did give him bags when he asked me for them. Now, this

psych tells me that she notices that I'm enabling him by giving him a bag. I

told

her the first therapist said this was a good idea, so was this wrong...I would

stop. She then said it wasn't wrong of the therapist to tell me this. So now,

I'm confused. I will be doing some looking around on the web for what I

should/shouldn't do since I'm getting mixed messages by the psych's, but does

anyone know of a way to learn how to do behavior therapy on our own?

By the way, Today I told ds that he would no longer be getting any bags to

carry his stuff. I asked if he could cut down on the hoarding and he suggested

that he no longer collect dust and asked me if it was okay to collect

containers. I thought this was a great improvement. He tells me that he is

trying

really hard because he never wants to go back to that hospital. I'm still not

sure

if I'm doing the right thing, but I've made up my mind that I can't wait to

find the right psych and the right program. Especially since the psych tells me

that there are no other programs in So. Calif (she may have said Calif, not

just southern).

Thanks for all the really nice emails. I don't know why they make me cry. I

guess I've never run into so many people that are so nice, all in one area too!

Thank you,

Debbi

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In a message dated 1/6/2005 3:06:26 PM Pacific Standard Time,

debbiap@... writes:

She

really made me feel like I'm a really bad mother. At the same time my

instincts are telling me NOT to put him back in there. I've already told him

he won't

go back. He would really lose trust with me.

The pysch mentioned that this program of " hers " is the only one in So.

Calif.

and if I tried taking him to UCLA (which I did call and they said I " had to "

ask the psych for permission first) that they would only send him back to

her

program.

Long post, right now replying to the above. I would have asked immediately

to be taken off speaker phone. HER program? OK, I realize there aren't many

programs. Did she even listen to the part where others went to their rooms

and your son was sitting on a chair in the hall? Maybe it was a bad first

day, maybe things would improve, and maybe not. IF you take him to UCLA, why

would you have to get permission from the psych? Because this is the psych

who is currently treating him? Because in my opinion, that is easily rectified

(well, not so easily) by changing doctors. Wow...let anyone, psychiatrist

or anyone, come to live in our houses and walk in our shoes. Of course I

enable my son all the time, becomes some things just don't feel right. But

your

guy is still very young, and in my opinion the nurturing has to be there in

any program. Maybe this is a great question for one of the experts who advise

on this board.

Debbi, think of it this way. You are not any further along than you were a

couple of weeks ago. But honestly, you haven't gone backward either. it's a

long haul.

Hang in.

Judith

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In a message dated 1/6/2005 3:06:26 PM Pacific Standard Time,

debbiap@... writes:

She

really made me feel like I'm a really bad mother. At the same time my

instincts are telling me NOT to put him back in there. I've already told him

he won't

go back. He would really lose trust with me.

The pysch mentioned that this program of " hers " is the only one in So.

Calif.

and if I tried taking him to UCLA (which I did call and they said I " had to "

ask the psych for permission first) that they would only send him back to

her

program.

Long post, right now replying to the above. I would have asked immediately

to be taken off speaker phone. HER program? OK, I realize there aren't many

programs. Did she even listen to the part where others went to their rooms

and your son was sitting on a chair in the hall? Maybe it was a bad first

day, maybe things would improve, and maybe not. IF you take him to UCLA, why

would you have to get permission from the psych? Because this is the psych

who is currently treating him? Because in my opinion, that is easily rectified

(well, not so easily) by changing doctors. Wow...let anyone, psychiatrist

or anyone, come to live in our houses and walk in our shoes. Of course I

enable my son all the time, becomes some things just don't feel right. But

your

guy is still very young, and in my opinion the nurturing has to be there in

any program. Maybe this is a great question for one of the experts who advise

on this board.

Debbi, think of it this way. You are not any further along than you were a

couple of weeks ago. But honestly, you haven't gone backward either. it's a

long haul.

Hang in.

Judith

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In a message dated 1/6/2005 3:53:31 PM Pacific Standard Time,

Cotter@... writes:

and the AWARD WINNING, famous doctor from TV who

was the psych on call that night told him to grow up and get over it.

Why are there so many jerks in this profession?

Ah, come on, even it just the initials!!!! Being a psychiatrist, therapist,

psychologist is very hard work. Being a media star isn't. There are lots

of jerks who want to collect the hourly fees, but are not into doing the work.

Not into keeping up and learning and growing. That is why I took my son out

of the 'care' of a doctor with degrees from Princeton, U of Chicago and

UCLA, who basically wrote prescriptions and saw him for 20 minutes once a

month.

I am not sure we are better off as of yet, but I don't feel the same disgust

for a doctor who truly didn't do a thing but prescribe. And when I

suggested any therapy, he just hemmed and hawed. Guess I needed a couple of

more

visits to line his wallet before he would refer us to anybody. I am not

bitter,

I am realistic. None of this comes cheap. Some truly have passion and

care. Some don't.

Judith

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In a message dated 1/6/2005 3:53:31 PM Pacific Standard Time,

Cotter@... writes:

and the AWARD WINNING, famous doctor from TV who

was the psych on call that night told him to grow up and get over it.

Why are there so many jerks in this profession?

Ah, come on, even it just the initials!!!! Being a psychiatrist, therapist,

psychologist is very hard work. Being a media star isn't. There are lots

of jerks who want to collect the hourly fees, but are not into doing the work.

Not into keeping up and learning and growing. That is why I took my son out

of the 'care' of a doctor with degrees from Princeton, U of Chicago and

UCLA, who basically wrote prescriptions and saw him for 20 minutes once a

month.

I am not sure we are better off as of yet, but I don't feel the same disgust

for a doctor who truly didn't do a thing but prescribe. And when I

suggested any therapy, he just hemmed and hawed. Guess I needed a couple of

more

visits to line his wallet before he would refer us to anybody. I am not

bitter,

I am realistic. None of this comes cheap. Some truly have passion and

care. Some don't.

Judith

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Debbi,

Guilt is so normal, but I hope you're not feeling guilty about taking

him out of there! That was definitely the wrong place for him,

especially given his temperment. How heartwrenching, I really thought

it would be a positive experience.

I agree that you need to talk this over in detail with the psych, and

I hope that she didn't know exactly how things operated there. If she

did, you need to find a different doc. But chances are she didn't,

still not a good thing but hopefully she will learn from this.

Be firm with your decision on pulling him out, it was the right one.

I am amazed by you, being through so much and thrown new curves over

and over again, yet you keep plugging on - keep it going, girl!

You'll find something that clicks, the UCLA program sounds like a good

one. Maybe you could go once to " observe " things to see if it looks

like a better fit.

nna.

]

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Debbi,

Guilt is so normal, but I hope you're not feeling guilty about taking

him out of there! That was definitely the wrong place for him,

especially given his temperment. How heartwrenching, I really thought

it would be a positive experience.

I agree that you need to talk this over in detail with the psych, and

I hope that she didn't know exactly how things operated there. If she

did, you need to find a different doc. But chances are she didn't,

still not a good thing but hopefully she will learn from this.

Be firm with your decision on pulling him out, it was the right one.

I am amazed by you, being through so much and thrown new curves over

and over again, yet you keep plugging on - keep it going, girl!

You'll find something that clicks, the UCLA program sounds like a good

one. Maybe you could go once to " observe " things to see if it looks

like a better fit.

nna.

]

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Debbi,

Guilt is so normal, but I hope you're not feeling guilty about taking

him out of there! That was definitely the wrong place for him,

especially given his temperment. How heartwrenching, I really thought

it would be a positive experience.

I agree that you need to talk this over in detail with the psych, and

I hope that she didn't know exactly how things operated there. If she

did, you need to find a different doc. But chances are she didn't,

still not a good thing but hopefully she will learn from this.

Be firm with your decision on pulling him out, it was the right one.

I am amazed by you, being through so much and thrown new curves over

and over again, yet you keep plugging on - keep it going, girl!

You'll find something that clicks, the UCLA program sounds like a good

one. Maybe you could go once to " observe " things to see if it looks

like a better fit.

nna.

]

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In a message dated 1/6/2005 6:32:25 PM Pacific Standard Time,

Cotter@... writes:

He might know his stuff, but came off

as cold, mean and uncaring. My apologies to all the great doctors out

there!!!!

Kim in IA

Kim, when it comes to our kids, we have radar! We have antennae, we have

ESP. Don't apologize. Your gut reaction. Probably wanted to be on TV and not

in the ER.

Can't say I blame him/her. Cold, mean, uncaring, tired, distracted...sorry

doesn't cut it with me and the bills that I pay and the anguish I feel for my

child. You were not talking about ALL doctors, you were talking about one,

and if others are reading, perhaps they will grow to understand the needs of

families. We support them, think of it that way. A condescending doctor is

not what I need, want, or will pay for.

Judith

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In a message dated 1/6/2005 6:32:25 PM Pacific Standard Time,

Cotter@... writes:

He might know his stuff, but came off

as cold, mean and uncaring. My apologies to all the great doctors out

there!!!!

Kim in IA

Kim, when it comes to our kids, we have radar! We have antennae, we have

ESP. Don't apologize. Your gut reaction. Probably wanted to be on TV and not

in the ER.

Can't say I blame him/her. Cold, mean, uncaring, tired, distracted...sorry

doesn't cut it with me and the bills that I pay and the anguish I feel for my

child. You were not talking about ALL doctors, you were talking about one,

and if others are reading, perhaps they will grow to understand the needs of

families. We support them, think of it that way. A condescending doctor is

not what I need, want, or will pay for.

Judith

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In a message dated 1/6/2005 6:32:25 PM Pacific Standard Time,

Cotter@... writes:

He might know his stuff, but came off

as cold, mean and uncaring. My apologies to all the great doctors out

there!!!!

Kim in IA

Kim, when it comes to our kids, we have radar! We have antennae, we have

ESP. Don't apologize. Your gut reaction. Probably wanted to be on TV and not

in the ER.

Can't say I blame him/her. Cold, mean, uncaring, tired, distracted...sorry

doesn't cut it with me and the bills that I pay and the anguish I feel for my

child. You were not talking about ALL doctors, you were talking about one,

and if others are reading, perhaps they will grow to understand the needs of

families. We support them, think of it that way. A condescending doctor is

not what I need, want, or will pay for.

Judith

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Hi,,big hugs to you for following your insticts,,and guess what?.,.my sons

Pshychiatrist said that if I dont hurry up and get him back into school that

the longer he stays home with me, the more symptoms he will have,, as he

thinks I am also " ENABLING " ,,sheesh,, I think they all need some bedside

manners to graduate.

Anyway just wanted to tell you I have heard that too, and its not fair!

Angie

Re: hosptial (long)

>

> Thank you all for such nice replies. Now I have a new problem and I want

to

> ask for help. See, the psych called me and we had a short talk on her

speaker

> phone (other workers listening in from the program). She was trying to

convince

> me to put ds back in this program. I basically told her that this program

was

> not what I thought it would be and she basically told me that I was

enabling

> ds to continue hoarding because I did not keep him in the program. <sigh>

She

> really made me feel like I'm a really bad mother. At the same time my

> instincts are telling me NOT to put him back in there. I've already told

him he won't

> go back. He would really lose trust with me.

>

> The pysch mentioned that this program of " hers " is the only one in So.

Calif.

> and if I tried taking him to UCLA (which I did call and they said I " had

to "

> ask the psych for permission first) that they would only send him back to

her

> program.

>

> So first, I'm thinking, I will contact our insurance and ask if they have

a

> psych that specializes in OCD. But my question, is there anyone who treats

> their child themself? I am determined to learn whatever I can and start

> behavioral therapy myself.

>

> One thing that ds's first therapist told me, was that it was okay to let

him

> keep his hoarding goods. It was okay for me to supply plastic bags and he

even

> said it sounded like a good idea to get him a container to put under his

bed

> (he could put his bits and pieces he saves there). I never did go out and

buy

> a container, but I did give him bags when he asked me for them. Now, this

> psych tells me that she notices that I'm enabling him by giving him a bag.

I told

> her the first therapist said this was a good idea, so was this wrong...I

would

> stop. She then said it wasn't wrong of the therapist to tell me this. So

now,

> I'm confused. I will be doing some looking around on the web for what I

> should/shouldn't do since I'm getting mixed messages by the psych's, but

does

> anyone know of a way to learn how to do behavior therapy on our own?

>

> By the way, Today I told ds that he would no longer be getting any bags to

> carry his stuff. I asked if he could cut down on the hoarding and he

suggested

> that he no longer collect dust and asked me if it was okay to collect

> containers. I thought this was a great improvement. He tells me that he is

trying

> really hard because he never wants to go back to that hospital. I'm still

not sure

> if I'm doing the right thing, but I've made up my mind that I can't wait

to

> find the right psych and the right program. Especially since the psych

tells me

> that there are no other programs in So. Calif (she may have said Calif,

not

> just southern).

>

> Thanks for all the really nice emails. I don't know why they make me cry.

I

> guess I've never run into so many people that are so nice, all in one area

too!

> Thank you,

> Debbi

>

>

>

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Hi,,big hugs to you for following your insticts,,and guess what?.,.my sons

Pshychiatrist said that if I dont hurry up and get him back into school that

the longer he stays home with me, the more symptoms he will have,, as he

thinks I am also " ENABLING " ,,sheesh,, I think they all need some bedside

manners to graduate.

Anyway just wanted to tell you I have heard that too, and its not fair!

Angie

Re: hosptial (long)

>

> Thank you all for such nice replies. Now I have a new problem and I want

to

> ask for help. See, the psych called me and we had a short talk on her

speaker

> phone (other workers listening in from the program). She was trying to

convince

> me to put ds back in this program. I basically told her that this program

was

> not what I thought it would be and she basically told me that I was

enabling

> ds to continue hoarding because I did not keep him in the program. <sigh>

She

> really made me feel like I'm a really bad mother. At the same time my

> instincts are telling me NOT to put him back in there. I've already told

him he won't

> go back. He would really lose trust with me.

>

> The pysch mentioned that this program of " hers " is the only one in So.

Calif.

> and if I tried taking him to UCLA (which I did call and they said I " had

to "

> ask the psych for permission first) that they would only send him back to

her

> program.

>

> So first, I'm thinking, I will contact our insurance and ask if they have

a

> psych that specializes in OCD. But my question, is there anyone who treats

> their child themself? I am determined to learn whatever I can and start

> behavioral therapy myself.

>

> One thing that ds's first therapist told me, was that it was okay to let

him

> keep his hoarding goods. It was okay for me to supply plastic bags and he

even

> said it sounded like a good idea to get him a container to put under his

bed

> (he could put his bits and pieces he saves there). I never did go out and

buy

> a container, but I did give him bags when he asked me for them. Now, this

> psych tells me that she notices that I'm enabling him by giving him a bag.

I told

> her the first therapist said this was a good idea, so was this wrong...I

would

> stop. She then said it wasn't wrong of the therapist to tell me this. So

now,

> I'm confused. I will be doing some looking around on the web for what I

> should/shouldn't do since I'm getting mixed messages by the psych's, but

does

> anyone know of a way to learn how to do behavior therapy on our own?

>

> By the way, Today I told ds that he would no longer be getting any bags to

> carry his stuff. I asked if he could cut down on the hoarding and he

suggested

> that he no longer collect dust and asked me if it was okay to collect

> containers. I thought this was a great improvement. He tells me that he is

trying

> really hard because he never wants to go back to that hospital. I'm still

not sure

> if I'm doing the right thing, but I've made up my mind that I can't wait

to

> find the right psych and the right program. Especially since the psych

tells me

> that there are no other programs in So. Calif (she may have said Calif,

not

> just southern).

>

> Thanks for all the really nice emails. I don't know why they make me cry.

I

> guess I've never run into so many people that are so nice, all in one area

too!

> Thank you,

> Debbi

>

>

>

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Hi,,big hugs to you for following your insticts,,and guess what?.,.my sons

Pshychiatrist said that if I dont hurry up and get him back into school that

the longer he stays home with me, the more symptoms he will have,, as he

thinks I am also " ENABLING " ,,sheesh,, I think they all need some bedside

manners to graduate.

Anyway just wanted to tell you I have heard that too, and its not fair!

Angie

Re: hosptial (long)

>

> Thank you all for such nice replies. Now I have a new problem and I want

to

> ask for help. See, the psych called me and we had a short talk on her

speaker

> phone (other workers listening in from the program). She was trying to

convince

> me to put ds back in this program. I basically told her that this program

was

> not what I thought it would be and she basically told me that I was

enabling

> ds to continue hoarding because I did not keep him in the program. <sigh>

She

> really made me feel like I'm a really bad mother. At the same time my

> instincts are telling me NOT to put him back in there. I've already told

him he won't

> go back. He would really lose trust with me.

>

> The pysch mentioned that this program of " hers " is the only one in So.

Calif.

> and if I tried taking him to UCLA (which I did call and they said I " had

to "

> ask the psych for permission first) that they would only send him back to

her

> program.

>

> So first, I'm thinking, I will contact our insurance and ask if they have

a

> psych that specializes in OCD. But my question, is there anyone who treats

> their child themself? I am determined to learn whatever I can and start

> behavioral therapy myself.

>

> One thing that ds's first therapist told me, was that it was okay to let

him

> keep his hoarding goods. It was okay for me to supply plastic bags and he

even

> said it sounded like a good idea to get him a container to put under his

bed

> (he could put his bits and pieces he saves there). I never did go out and

buy

> a container, but I did give him bags when he asked me for them. Now, this

> psych tells me that she notices that I'm enabling him by giving him a bag.

I told

> her the first therapist said this was a good idea, so was this wrong...I

would

> stop. She then said it wasn't wrong of the therapist to tell me this. So

now,

> I'm confused. I will be doing some looking around on the web for what I

> should/shouldn't do since I'm getting mixed messages by the psych's, but

does

> anyone know of a way to learn how to do behavior therapy on our own?

>

> By the way, Today I told ds that he would no longer be getting any bags to

> carry his stuff. I asked if he could cut down on the hoarding and he

suggested

> that he no longer collect dust and asked me if it was okay to collect

> containers. I thought this was a great improvement. He tells me that he is

trying

> really hard because he never wants to go back to that hospital. I'm still

not sure

> if I'm doing the right thing, but I've made up my mind that I can't wait

to

> find the right psych and the right program. Especially since the psych

tells me

> that there are no other programs in So. Calif (she may have said Calif,

not

> just southern).

>

> Thanks for all the really nice emails. I don't know why they make me cry.

I

> guess I've never run into so many people that are so nice, all in one area

too!

> Thank you,

> Debbi

>

>

>

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Debbi,

I know there are people on this list who did the therapy on their own,

I'm sure they will offer advice on that.

I think you were treated very unprofessionally, and am amazed that the

psych can't see why you have such a problem with " her " program. As

for the enabling, I was told when you are in the early stages and in a

crisis mode (which I believe you are), it is OK to enable. Once you

start the CBT with ERP therapy, you can gradually cut back on the

enabling.

More roadblocks for you, I feel so badly for you. You need to stay

strong and continue to fight in your son's best interests; whether

that means a change in docs, discussions with your insurance company,

whatever, don't worry about playing nice, just fight fight fight!!!

nna.

> Thank you all for such nice replies. Now I have a new problem and I

want to

> ask for help. See, the psych called me and we had a short talk on

her speaker

> phone (other workers listening in from the program). She was trying

to convince

> me to put ds back in this program. I basically told her that this

program was

> not what I thought it would be and she basically told me that I was

enabling

> ds to continue hoarding because I did not keep him in the program.

<sigh> She

> really made me feel like I'm a really bad mother. At the same time my

> instincts are telling me NOT to put him back in there. I've already

told him he won't

> go back. He would really lose trust with me.

>

> The pysch mentioned that this program of " hers " is the only one in

So. Calif.

> and if I tried taking him to UCLA (which I did call and they said I

" had to "

> ask the psych for permission first) that they would only send him

back to her

> program.

>

> So first, I'm thinking, I will contact our insurance and ask if they

have a

> psych that specializes in OCD. But my question, is there anyone who

treats

> their child themself? I am determined to learn whatever I can and

start

> behavioral therapy myself.

>

> One thing that ds's first therapist told me, was that it was okay to

let him

> keep his hoarding goods. It was okay for me to supply plastic bags

and he even

> said it sounded like a good idea to get him a container to put under

his bed

> (he could put his bits and pieces he saves there). I never did go

out and buy

> a container, but I did give him bags when he asked me for them. Now,

this

> psych tells me that she notices that I'm enabling him by giving him

a bag. I told

> her the first therapist said this was a good idea, so was this

wrong...I would

> stop. She then said it wasn't wrong of the therapist to tell me

this. So now,

> I'm confused. I will be doing some looking around on the web for what I

> should/shouldn't do since I'm getting mixed messages by the psych's,

but does

> anyone know of a way to learn how to do behavior therapy on our own?

>

> By the way, Today I told ds that he would no longer be getting any

bags to

> carry his stuff. I asked if he could cut down on the hoarding and he

suggested

> that he no longer collect dust and asked me if it was okay to collect

> containers. I thought this was a great improvement. He tells me that

he is trying

> really hard because he never wants to go back to that hospital. I'm

still not sure

> if I'm doing the right thing, but I've made up my mind that I can't

wait to

> find the right psych and the right program. Especially since the

psych tells me

> that there are no other programs in So. Calif (she may have said

Calif, not

> just southern).

>

> Thanks for all the really nice emails. I don't know why they make me

cry. I

> guess I've never run into so many people that are so nice, all in

one area too!

> Thank you,

> Debbi

>

>

>

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Debbi,

We've had our share of docs with no clue or no bedside manner, also.

Took my oldest son to ER in the middle of a major panic attack (shaking,

hyperventilating, etc) and the AWARD WINNING, famous doctor from TV who

was the psych on call that night told him to grow up and get over it.

Why are there so many jerks in this profession?

I think if you need a referral to go to UCLA I would look for another

doctor who would make that referral, like your family doctor or

pediatrician. I think if you explained what happened they would agree

that that program and those people are not a good fit for your son.

I have done a bit of " therapy " with my son, working through the " OCD

Workbook " and ideas from Dr. Chansky's and Dr. Wagner's books, with

guidance from a psychologist who is familiar with ERP but doesn't really

do it. I wish I could say that we have made a lot of progress and that

he's all better, but we have made a bit and he is much better

(medication has been a great help, too.) I think there is a videoseries

you can order from Dr. Wagner - don't have it in front of me - that is

intended for psychologists desiring to learn how to do CBT/ERP. I have

thought of getting it but haven't as yet.

We are going to a teaching hospital for a full workup in Feb., largly

due to the fact that 's psychiatrist thinks his main issue

(fear/avoidance of his sister) is him " looking for attention and playing

on mom's emotions. " I see real fear, and the fact that he doesn't

understand it and can't explain it must make it all the more scary for him.

Hang in there. Keep remembering that you are the one who loves your son

and has his BEST interest in mind, perhaps the doctor is more worried

about " her " program and " her " ego.

Kim in IA

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Debbi,

We've had our share of docs with no clue or no bedside manner, also.

Took my oldest son to ER in the middle of a major panic attack (shaking,

hyperventilating, etc) and the AWARD WINNING, famous doctor from TV who

was the psych on call that night told him to grow up and get over it.

Why are there so many jerks in this profession?

I think if you need a referral to go to UCLA I would look for another

doctor who would make that referral, like your family doctor or

pediatrician. I think if you explained what happened they would agree

that that program and those people are not a good fit for your son.

I have done a bit of " therapy " with my son, working through the " OCD

Workbook " and ideas from Dr. Chansky's and Dr. Wagner's books, with

guidance from a psychologist who is familiar with ERP but doesn't really

do it. I wish I could say that we have made a lot of progress and that

he's all better, but we have made a bit and he is much better

(medication has been a great help, too.) I think there is a videoseries

you can order from Dr. Wagner - don't have it in front of me - that is

intended for psychologists desiring to learn how to do CBT/ERP. I have

thought of getting it but haven't as yet.

We are going to a teaching hospital for a full workup in Feb., largly

due to the fact that 's psychiatrist thinks his main issue

(fear/avoidance of his sister) is him " looking for attention and playing

on mom's emotions. " I see real fear, and the fact that he doesn't

understand it and can't explain it must make it all the more scary for him.

Hang in there. Keep remembering that you are the one who loves your son

and has his BEST interest in mind, perhaps the doctor is more worried

about " her " program and " her " ego.

Kim in IA

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Debbi,

We've had our share of docs with no clue or no bedside manner, also.

Took my oldest son to ER in the middle of a major panic attack (shaking,

hyperventilating, etc) and the AWARD WINNING, famous doctor from TV who

was the psych on call that night told him to grow up and get over it.

Why are there so many jerks in this profession?

I think if you need a referral to go to UCLA I would look for another

doctor who would make that referral, like your family doctor or

pediatrician. I think if you explained what happened they would agree

that that program and those people are not a good fit for your son.

I have done a bit of " therapy " with my son, working through the " OCD

Workbook " and ideas from Dr. Chansky's and Dr. Wagner's books, with

guidance from a psychologist who is familiar with ERP but doesn't really

do it. I wish I could say that we have made a lot of progress and that

he's all better, but we have made a bit and he is much better

(medication has been a great help, too.) I think there is a videoseries

you can order from Dr. Wagner - don't have it in front of me - that is

intended for psychologists desiring to learn how to do CBT/ERP. I have

thought of getting it but haven't as yet.

We are going to a teaching hospital for a full workup in Feb., largly

due to the fact that 's psychiatrist thinks his main issue

(fear/avoidance of his sister) is him " looking for attention and playing

on mom's emotions. " I see real fear, and the fact that he doesn't

understand it and can't explain it must make it all the more scary for him.

Hang in there. Keep remembering that you are the one who loves your son

and has his BEST interest in mind, perhaps the doctor is more worried

about " her " program and " her " ego.

Kim in IA

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Didn't mean to lump everyone in that category! I know there are many

caring docs out there. My OCD kid's psych is okay, doesn't go too far

beyond med control, though. And his pediatrician is wonderful. Just

was feeling like some of them are jerky, esp. with some of the posts

today. I must admit it irked me last week to hear that the ER doctor we

saw won this prestigious award. He might know his stuff, but came off

as cold, mean and uncaring. My apologies to all the great doctors out

there!!!!

Kim in IA

momofjandn@... wrote:

>

> In a message dated 1/6/2005 3:53:31 PM Pacific Standard Time,

> Cotter@... writes:

>

> and the AWARD WINNING, famous doctor from TV who

> was the psych on call that night told him to grow up and get over it.

> Why are there so many jerks in this profession?

>

>

>

> Ah, come on, even it just the initials!!!! Being a psychiatrist,

> therapist,

> psychologist is very hard work. Being a media star isn't. There are

> lots

> of jerks who want to collect the hourly fees, but are not into doing

> the work.

> Not into keeping up and learning and growing. That is why I took my

> son out

> of the 'care' of a doctor with degrees from Princeton, U of Chicago and

> UCLA, who basically wrote prescriptions and saw him for 20 minutes

> once a month.

> I am not sure we are better off as of yet, but I don't feel the same

> disgust

> for a doctor who truly didn't do a thing but prescribe. And when I

> suggested any therapy, he just hemmed and hawed. Guess I needed a

> couple of more

> visits to line his wallet before he would refer us to anybody. I am

> not bitter,

> I am realistic. None of this comes cheap. Some truly have passion and

> care. Some don't.

> Judith

>

>

>

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Didn't mean to lump everyone in that category! I know there are many

caring docs out there. My OCD kid's psych is okay, doesn't go too far

beyond med control, though. And his pediatrician is wonderful. Just

was feeling like some of them are jerky, esp. with some of the posts

today. I must admit it irked me last week to hear that the ER doctor we

saw won this prestigious award. He might know his stuff, but came off

as cold, mean and uncaring. My apologies to all the great doctors out

there!!!!

Kim in IA

momofjandn@... wrote:

>

> In a message dated 1/6/2005 3:53:31 PM Pacific Standard Time,

> Cotter@... writes:

>

> and the AWARD WINNING, famous doctor from TV who

> was the psych on call that night told him to grow up and get over it.

> Why are there so many jerks in this profession?

>

>

>

> Ah, come on, even it just the initials!!!! Being a psychiatrist,

> therapist,

> psychologist is very hard work. Being a media star isn't. There are

> lots

> of jerks who want to collect the hourly fees, but are not into doing

> the work.

> Not into keeping up and learning and growing. That is why I took my

> son out

> of the 'care' of a doctor with degrees from Princeton, U of Chicago and

> UCLA, who basically wrote prescriptions and saw him for 20 minutes

> once a month.

> I am not sure we are better off as of yet, but I don't feel the same

> disgust

> for a doctor who truly didn't do a thing but prescribe. And when I

> suggested any therapy, he just hemmed and hawed. Guess I needed a

> couple of more

> visits to line his wallet before he would refer us to anybody. I am

> not bitter,

> I am realistic. None of this comes cheap. Some truly have passion and

> care. Some don't.

> Judith

>

>

>

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