Re: To - my son also has contamination fears of brother

[Guest guest]

-Hi Rose,

Thanks for your reply. I am very busy so I don't get to answer as

quick as I like sometimes. We have been doing some exposure stuff and

having success. He has just been doing the easy stuff ( actually

touching stuff ) and it almost seems too easy. He does it once and

then seems to be ok with it and can keep doing it without stress. (

I think )

He has now run out of easy things. The longstanding things are left.

Rated as 7.5 to 10. He is now reluctant to tangle with those. I told

him to take this week to celebrate the success he has had and

practice the exposures he has mastered. I don't know if this is wise,

but he has been just blasting through things. 3 exposures in a week

of the easy stuff. I still haven't been able to find him therapy I

feel confident in so I bought Dr. Chansky's book and we have been

working together at home. It is hard to get him to take this

seriously. He just seems to be going through the motions to please me

or so it appears to me.For example there is this part of Dr.

Chansky's book where she says to name the ocd. He says he will name

it " Bob " . I am pretty sure that isn't what she means. But what can

you do? I feel like he is playing along to avoid my wrath. I don't

know because I can't really get into his head. I am not dealing with

this very well myself. I just wish he would get motivated. REALLY

motivated.I have been offering rewards for the exposures. -- In

, " rosemay22003 " <rosemay22003@y...>

wrote:

>

> Hi - (this may be a duplicated message - I lost the first

> one!)

>

> I wanted to pass along some exposures that my son (16) has done to

> work on his contamination issues with his brother. (Sadly, he

still

> has these issues. He has other ocd problems and the issues with

his

> brother are not a priority for him. But, I do believe these

> exposures can work if your son is motivated)

>

> When doing exposures, you want to be able to rate the anxiety level.

> For example: a " 10 " means I am so anxious I just can't stand it!!

> a " 1 " doesn't bother me at all

>

>

> Make a list of possible exposures such as:

>

> looking at pictures of brother

> using brother's pencil

> sitting in brother's chair at dinner table

> letting brother try on coat before putting it on

> touch brother's arm

> stare at brother

> let brother throw his dirty laundry in your son's room

> (you can probably think of many more)

>

> Pick an exposure to work on. Some like to start with something

easy

> (something like anxiety level 3), others like to pick something

> harder (anxiety level 7). When we first started therapy, my son

> would start with something easy. The problem was that he got tired

> of therapy before getting any real relief. The next time he was in

> therapy, he started with the harder stuff. For him, this seemed to

> work better. He saw a bigger difference (ie. he really could

reduce

> the anxiety) and the easier stuff became a piece of cake.

> You may need to start easy since you have not done this before.

>

> My son started with looking at pictures of his brother, which he

> rated as a " 7 " . My son said that when he first started looking at

> the pictures he felt like he was going to throw up. After about 30-

> 40 minutes, his anxiety level decreased to about a " 4 " . We did

this

> everyday. Each day his anxiety level decreased faster. After

about

> 4-5 days, the pictures did not bother him.

>

> The important thing to remember is that you don't want to stop the

> exposure until the anxiety has gone down somewhat. Consider where

> you started from. A " 7 " will not go down to a " 2 " , but if you get

to

> a " 4 " that would be a great start. Each time you do the exposure

it

> will get easier!

>

> This is really hard work. I hope this make sense and helps.

>

> Rose