Guest guest Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 " Holiday Triggers " Written by Melody Beattie " 'One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible. It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later, whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness, and an instinctive desire to control.' ---- Anonymous " There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow, decorations, " Silent Night, " " Jingle Bells, " wrapped packages, a nativity scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These " triggers " can evolve in us the warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration. There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and evoke different feelings and memories. Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses -- and we remember. Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional setting. We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious. We may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors -- the low self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering memories recorded deep within us. If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories, we can pull ourselves back into the present by self-care: acknowledging our feelings, detaching, working the Steps (12 steps of A.A.), and affirming ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today. Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice. " Copyright 1990, " The Language of Letting Go -- Daily Meditations for Codependents " , Written by Melody Beattie, Hazelden Meditation Series. ** I believe that some of Melody Beattie's excellent books may be on sale on the clearance or bargain tables at and Noble bookstores right now. Also, they will be at all other bookstores as well. ** PJ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress A new positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, discussing ways to cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! nola & pj (moderators); michele, teresa, summer, & andie (co-moderators) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 This is SO true! I still think of home and holidays when I smell pumpkin spice candles : ) I used to help my mom make the pumpkin pies, and she used to make me feel so special. Our family loved enjoying the holiday, so I hope I am providing the same warm and safe holiday for my girls. You know? Love and Laughter, : ) Tilley, Wife to for 13 years Stay-at-home/Homeschooling Mom to a(12), (7) and (4) Holiday Triggers " Holiday Triggers " Written by Melody Beattie " 'One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible. It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later, whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness, and an instinctive desire to control.' ---- Anonymous " There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow, decorations, " Silent Night, " " Jingle Bells, " wrapped packages, a nativity scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These " triggers " can evolve in us the warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration. There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and evoke different feelings and memories. Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses -- and we remember. Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional setting. We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious. We may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors -- the low self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering memories recorded deep within us. If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories, we can pull ourselves back into the present by self-care: acknowledging our feelings, detaching, working the Steps (12 steps of A.A.), and affirming ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today. Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice. " Copyright 1990, " The Language of Letting Go -- Daily Meditations for Codependents " , Written by Melody Beattie, Hazelden Meditation Series. ** I believe that some of Melody Beattie's excellent books may be on sale on the clearance or bargain tables at and Noble bookstores right now. Also, they will be at all other bookstores as well. ** PJ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress A new positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, discussing ways to cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! nola & pj (moderators); michele, teresa, summer, & andie (co-moderators) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 This is SO true! I still think of home and holidays when I smell pumpkin spice candles : ) I used to help my mom make the pumpkin pies, and she used to make me feel so special. Our family loved enjoying the holiday, so I hope I am providing the same warm and safe holiday for my girls. You know? Love and Laughter, : ) Tilley, Wife to for 13 years Stay-at-home/Homeschooling Mom to a(12), (7) and (4) Holiday Triggers " Holiday Triggers " Written by Melody Beattie " 'One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible. It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later, whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness, and an instinctive desire to control.' ---- Anonymous " There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow, decorations, " Silent Night, " " Jingle Bells, " wrapped packages, a nativity scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These " triggers " can evolve in us the warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration. There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and evoke different feelings and memories. Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses -- and we remember. Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional setting. We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious. We may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors -- the low self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering memories recorded deep within us. If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories, we can pull ourselves back into the present by self-care: acknowledging our feelings, detaching, working the Steps (12 steps of A.A.), and affirming ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today. Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice. " Copyright 1990, " The Language of Letting Go -- Daily Meditations for Codependents " , Written by Melody Beattie, Hazelden Meditation Series. ** I believe that some of Melody Beattie's excellent books may be on sale on the clearance or bargain tables at and Noble bookstores right now. Also, they will be at all other bookstores as well. ** PJ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress A new positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, discussing ways to cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! nola & pj (moderators); michele, teresa, summer, & andie (co-moderators) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 , That sounds good to me!! It's interesting in how life -- it's smells, sounds, tastes, sights, and touch can remind us of good or bad memories. My suggestion to all is this: if you came from a family of great memories, then capitalize on them, and make memories even greater in your family. And if you are someone who came from a family of bad memories or some pretty bad memories, then try to throw those out, and start over from today, and make new wonderful memories now and in the future to replace them with!! This is your life, the only one you will have here. Make it a good one!!!! Love & Hugs, PJ Tilley wrote: This is SO true! I still think of home and holidays when I smell pumpkin spice candles : ) I used to help my mom make the pumpkin pies, and she used to make me feel so special. Our family loved enjoying the holiday, so I hope I am providing the same warm and safe holiday for my girls. You know? Love and Laughter, : ) Tilley, Wife to for 13 years Stay-at-home/Homeschooling Mom to a(12), (7) and (4) Holiday Triggers " Holiday Triggers " Written by Melody Beattie " 'One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible. It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later, whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness, and an instinctive desire to control.' ---- Anonymous " There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow, decorations, " Silent Night, " " Jingle Bells, " wrapped packages, a nativity scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These " triggers " can evolve in us the warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration. There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and evoke different feelings and memories. Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses -- and we remember. Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional setting. We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious. We may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors -- the low self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering memories recorded deep within us. If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories, we can pull ourselves back into the present by self-care: acknowledging our feelings, detaching, working the Steps (12 steps of A.A.), and affirming ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today. Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice. " Copyright 1990, " The Language of Letting Go -- Daily Meditations for Codependents " , Written by Melody Beattie, Hazelden Meditation Series. ** I believe that some of Melody Beattie's excellent books may be on sale on the clearance or bargain tables at and Noble bookstores right now. Also, they will be at all other bookstores as well. ** PJ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress A new positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, discussing ways to cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! nola & pj (moderators); michele, teresa, summer, & andie (co-moderators) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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