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" Holiday Triggers " Written by Melody Beattie

" 'One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at Christmas. I

had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he exploded in an

alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible. It was frightening

for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later, whenever I smell hand

lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that Christmas: the fear, the

disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness, and an instinctive desire to

control.' ---- Anonymous

" There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow,

decorations, " Silent Night, " " Jingle Bells, " wrapped packages, a nativity scene,

stockings hung on a fireplace. These " triggers " can evolve in us the warm,

nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration.

There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and evoke

different feelings and memories.

Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch, and

taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses -- and we

remember.

Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not all

our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic,

dysfunctional setting.

We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious. We may

not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors -- the low

self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When that

happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering

memories recorded deep within us.

If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories, we

can pull ourselves back into the present by self-care: acknowledging our

feelings, detaching, working the Steps (12 steps of A.A.), and affirming

ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel better

each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in perspective, and

create a more pleasant holiday today.

Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will

accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are

feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the painful

memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from the past, so

I can create the holiday of my choice. "

Copyright 1990, " The Language of Letting Go -- Daily Meditations for

Codependents " , Written by Melody Beattie, Hazelden Meditation Series.

** I believe that some of Melody Beattie's excellent books may be on sale on

the clearance or bargain tables at and Noble bookstores right now. Also,

they will be at all other bookstores as well. ** PJ

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress

A new positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, discussing ways to

cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! nola & pj (moderators);

michele, teresa, summer, & andie (co-moderators)

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This is SO true! I still think of home and holidays when I smell pumpkin

spice candles : )

I used to help my mom make the pumpkin pies, and she used to make me feel so

special. Our family loved enjoying the holiday, so I hope I am providing

the same warm and safe holiday for my girls. You know?

Love and Laughter,

: )

Tilley, Wife to for 13 years

Stay-at-home/Homeschooling Mom

to a(12), (7) and (4)

Holiday Triggers

" Holiday Triggers " Written by Melody Beattie

" 'One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at

Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he

exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible.

It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later,

whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that

Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness,

and an instinctive desire to control.' ---- Anonymous

" There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow,

decorations, " Silent Night, " " Jingle Bells, " wrapped packages, a nativity

scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These " triggers " can evolve in us the

warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration.

There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and

evoke different feelings and memories.

Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch,

and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses -- and

we remember.

Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not

all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic,

dysfunctional setting.

We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious. We

may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors --

the low self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When

that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be

triggering memories recorded deep within us.

If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories,

we can pull ourselves back into the present by self-care: acknowledging our

feelings, detaching, working the Steps (12 steps of A.A.), and affirming

ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel

better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in

perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today.

Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will

accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are

feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the

painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from

the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice. "

Copyright 1990, " The Language of Letting Go -- Daily Meditations for

Codependents " , Written by Melody Beattie, Hazelden Meditation Series.

** I believe that some of Melody Beattie's excellent books may be on sale

on the clearance or bargain tables at and Noble bookstores right now.

Also, they will be at all other bookstores as well. ** PJ

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress

A new positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, discussing

ways to cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! nola & pj

(moderators); michele, teresa, summer, & andie (co-moderators)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is SO true! I still think of home and holidays when I smell pumpkin

spice candles : )

I used to help my mom make the pumpkin pies, and she used to make me feel so

special. Our family loved enjoying the holiday, so I hope I am providing

the same warm and safe holiday for my girls. You know?

Love and Laughter,

: )

Tilley, Wife to for 13 years

Stay-at-home/Homeschooling Mom

to a(12), (7) and (4)

Holiday Triggers

" Holiday Triggers " Written by Melody Beattie

" 'One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at

Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he

exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible.

It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later,

whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that

Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness,

and an instinctive desire to control.' ---- Anonymous

" There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow,

decorations, " Silent Night, " " Jingle Bells, " wrapped packages, a nativity

scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These " triggers " can evolve in us the

warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration.

There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and

evoke different feelings and memories.

Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch,

and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses -- and

we remember.

Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not

all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic,

dysfunctional setting.

We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious. We

may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors --

the low self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When

that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be

triggering memories recorded deep within us.

If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories,

we can pull ourselves back into the present by self-care: acknowledging our

feelings, detaching, working the Steps (12 steps of A.A.), and affirming

ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel

better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in

perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today.

Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will

accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are

feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the

painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from

the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice. "

Copyright 1990, " The Language of Letting Go -- Daily Meditations for

Codependents " , Written by Melody Beattie, Hazelden Meditation Series.

** I believe that some of Melody Beattie's excellent books may be on sale

on the clearance or bargain tables at and Noble bookstores right now.

Also, they will be at all other bookstores as well. ** PJ

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress

A new positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, discussing

ways to cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! nola & pj

(moderators); michele, teresa, summer, & andie (co-moderators)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

,

That sounds good to me!! It's interesting in how life -- it's

smells, sounds, tastes, sights, and touch can remind us of good or bad memories.

My suggestion to all is this: if you came from a family of great

memories, then capitalize on them, and make memories even greater in your

family.

And if you are someone who came from a family of bad memories or

some pretty bad memories, then try to throw those out, and start over from

today, and make new wonderful memories now and in the future to replace them

with!!

This is your life, the only one you will have here. Make it a good

one!!!!

Love & Hugs, PJ

Tilley wrote:

This is SO true! I still think of home and holidays when I smell pumpkin

spice candles : )

I used to help my mom make the pumpkin pies, and she used to make me feel so

special. Our family loved enjoying the holiday, so I hope I am providing

the same warm and safe holiday for my girls. You know?

Love and Laughter,

: )

Tilley, Wife to for 13 years

Stay-at-home/Homeschooling Mom

to a(12), (7) and (4)

Holiday Triggers

" Holiday Triggers " Written by Melody Beattie

" 'One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at

Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he

exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible.

It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later,

whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that

Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness,

and an instinctive desire to control.' ---- Anonymous

" There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow,

decorations, " Silent Night, " " Jingle Bells, " wrapped packages, a nativity

scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These " triggers " can evolve in us the

warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration.

There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and

evoke different feelings and memories.

Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch,

and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses -- and

we remember.

Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not

all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic,

dysfunctional setting.

We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious. We

may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors --

the low self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When

that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be

triggering memories recorded deep within us.

If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories,

we can pull ourselves back into the present by self-care: acknowledging our

feelings, detaching, working the Steps (12 steps of A.A.), and affirming

ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel

better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in

perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today.

Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will

accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are

feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the

painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from

the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice. "

Copyright 1990, " The Language of Letting Go -- Daily Meditations for

Codependents " , Written by Melody Beattie, Hazelden Meditation Series.

** I believe that some of Melody Beattie's excellent books may be on sale

on the clearance or bargain tables at and Noble bookstores right now.

Also, they will be at all other bookstores as well. ** PJ

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress

A new positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, discussing

ways to cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! nola & pj

(moderators); michele, teresa, summer, & andie (co-moderators)

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