Re: how to have limits w/ OCD

December 13, 2004

Well, I don't know what others are going to say, but I can tell you what

my dd's therapist would say to do. My dd is 10 also. This technique has

really helped her with all sorts of compulsions. Here is how it would go:

" Mom, do I still have poop on my butt? "

" Why, yes, dear. And you not only have it all over you but it seems to be

all over the toilet seat and all over the floor and all down the hallway.

Oh, what is that knocking at the door? Oh, it is poop! And look, it is

invading the neighborhood, too! "

" Mom, I am afraid that the hamster is going to get out of the cage. "

" It's too late! Hammie has already escaped. He has been running loose for

days and the other night I heard a squeaking in the kitchen and when I

turned the light on it was Hammie and he was raiding the refrigerator!

Don't ask me why this works, but arguing with OCD and trying to console

OCD never works. It only makes it stronger. Another thing to do is help

your dd to relabel the OCD thought. " This is OCD who is making you think

that Hammie is going to escape. OCD is a liar and therefore whatever OCD

says is a lie. Would you pay attention to someone who always told you

lies? Well, then, lets not pay any attention to OCD either. Besides,

Hammie escapes every night and raids the fridge anyway. Why don't we go

read a story instead of listening to OCD. "

Another thing that I do is just to tell her that I have a one check per

day limit. My dd used to be worried that she had a fever and was sick.

Before therapy, she had me feeling her forehead and taking her temp. over

and over during the day. Now she has a once a day limit. I will feel her

forehead for a fever once during the day (of course this does not apply

if she is really sick) and refuse to do it again the rest of the day no

matter how much she pleads. Of course, after a few days she stopped

pleading and now she rarely even asks for me to do it once.

My dd gets relief pretty fast from these sort of conversations however

they initially cause anxiety. Guided imagery, deep breathing, and muscle

relaxation are good techniques for anxiety in general, but only CBT with

ERP will help with obsessions and compulsions. Is her therapist doing

that? I would find out. When you have a therapist that really knows how

to treat OCD, it should only take a couple of visits before you start

seeing real results.

On Mon, 13 Dec 2004 10:53:04 -0500 " Ruehlman "

writes:

>

> Hi

>

> I'm new to the list and am wondering what kind of limits *I* can

> have so I don't get sucked in to my 10 yr old daughter's

> complusions. One of the worse things she struggles w/ is wiping

> excessively. She's really concerned about not getting all the poop

> off of her butt. After wiping a bunch of times, she asks me to

> check the toilet paper (twice) to see if it's clean (it always is).

> She recently stated pulling apart her butt to have me look to be

> sure, then I have to look again where her hands were on her butt. I

> just do it cause it's easier, and it gets her out of the bathroom.

> I just don't know if this is the right thing to do.

>

> The other one that is really bad is her checking her hamsters cage

> to be sure it's secure (this seemed to be triggered a few months ago

> after her sister's hamster died). It's okay during the daytime, but

> right before bed she is a nervous wreck cause she's afraid that she

> won't be able to STOP checking the cage. She did have a wire critter

> cage which drove her nuts to check since there were so many nooks

> and crannies to worry about, so we bought her an aquarium which only

> helped for a week, so now it's back to a 15-30 min. struggle until

> she's satisfied w/ the cage. During this time she's shaking and

> weepy. Dh goes in her room w/ her to offer support (which is a joke

> since we both end up getting frustrated), but it doesn't seem to

> ease her agony.

>

> She started seeing a psychologist at Childrens Hospital at the end

> of Sept. She taught us guided imagery, deep breathing, and muscle

> relaxation. But her OCD was so bad that it didn't seem to help.

> There was a looong waiting list for a psychiatrist, so our family

> doctor prescribed Prozac. It didn't seem work (even after

> increasing it), and in fact seemed to agiate her. We just were able

> to get in to a psychiatrist on Friday who recommended we try Luvox

> (dh has had luck w/ this one). It's so hard to be patient, she is

> struggling so much! I'm so afraid that I'm adding to her problems

> cause I'm so stressed out about this whole thing and struggling

> myself too. I have two other kids (7, and 2 1/2), and am 6 months

> pregnant. I don't have OCD, but definately stuggle w/ depression.

>

> , who was going to be such a good parent that her kids would be

> happy

>

December 13, 2004

I totally agree!!! it works here too!!! my son (7) asks repeatedly " if i

fall asleep will you leave the house? "

I tried everything, till one night i said,,, " yes dear, i am heading out to

the moon, i wont be back..i only had anough money for a one way ticket "

he giggled and said, you cant get to the moon!

and off to sleep he went LOL!!!

Re: how to have limits w/ OCD

>

> Well, I don't know what others are going to say, but I can tell you what

> my dd's therapist would say to do. My dd is 10 also. This technique has

> really helped her with all sorts of compulsions. Here is how it would go:

> " Mom, do I still have poop on my butt? "

> " Why, yes, dear. And you not only have it all over you but it seems to be

> all over the toilet seat and all over the floor and all down the hallway.

> Oh, what is that knocking at the door? Oh, it is poop! And look, it is

> invading the neighborhood, too! "

>

> " Mom, I am afraid that the hamster is going to get out of the cage. "

> " It's too late! Hammie has already escaped. He has been running loose for

> days and the other night I heard a squeaking in the kitchen and when I

> turned the light on it was Hammie and he was raiding the refrigerator!

>

> Don't ask me why this works, but arguing with OCD and trying to console

> OCD never works. It only makes it stronger. Another thing to do is help

> your dd to relabel the OCD thought. " This is OCD who is making you think

> that Hammie is going to escape. OCD is a liar and therefore whatever OCD

> says is a lie. Would you pay attention to someone who always told you

> lies? Well, then, lets not pay any attention to OCD either. Besides,

> Hammie escapes every night and raids the fridge anyway. Why don't we go

> read a story instead of listening to OCD. "

>

> Another thing that I do is just to tell her that I have a one check per

> day limit. My dd used to be worried that she had a fever and was sick.

> Before therapy, she had me feeling her forehead and taking her temp. over

> and over during the day. Now she has a once a day limit. I will feel her

> forehead for a fever once during the day (of course this does not apply

> if she is really sick) and refuse to do it again the rest of the day no

> matter how much she pleads. Of course, after a few days she stopped

> pleading and now she rarely even asks for me to do it once.

>

> My dd gets relief pretty fast from these sort of conversations however

> they initially cause anxiety. Guided imagery, deep breathing, and muscle

> relaxation are good techniques for anxiety in general, but only CBT with

> ERP will help with obsessions and compulsions. Is her therapist doing

> that? I would find out. When you have a therapist that really knows how

> to treat OCD, it should only take a couple of visits before you start

> seeing real results.

>

> On Mon, 13 Dec 2004 10:53:04 -0500 " Ruehlman "

> writes:

> >

> > Hi

> >

> > I'm new to the list and am wondering what kind of limits *I* can

> > have so I don't get sucked in to my 10 yr old daughter's

> > complusions. One of the worse things she struggles w/ is wiping

> > excessively. She's really concerned about not getting all the poop

> > off of her butt. After wiping a bunch of times, she asks me to

> > check the toilet paper (twice) to see if it's clean (it always is).

> > She recently stated pulling apart her butt to have me look to be

> > sure, then I have to look again where her hands were on her butt. I

> > just do it cause it's easier, and it gets her out of the bathroom.

> > I just don't know if this is the right thing to do.

> >

> > The other one that is really bad is her checking her hamsters cage

> > to be sure it's secure (this seemed to be triggered a few months ago

> > after her sister's hamster died). It's okay during the daytime, but

> > right before bed she is a nervous wreck cause she's afraid that she

> > won't be able to STOP checking the cage. She did have a wire critter

> > cage which drove her nuts to check since there were so many nooks

> > and crannies to worry about, so we bought her an aquarium which only

> > helped for a week, so now it's back to a 15-30 min. struggle until

> > she's satisfied w/ the cage. During this time she's shaking and

> > weepy. Dh goes in her room w/ her to offer support (which is a joke

> > since we both end up getting frustrated), but it doesn't seem to

> > ease her agony.

> >

> > She started seeing a psychologist at Childrens Hospital at the end

> > of Sept. She taught us guided imagery, deep breathing, and muscle

> > relaxation. But her OCD was so bad that it didn't seem to help.

> > There was a looong waiting list for a psychiatrist, so our family

> > doctor prescribed Prozac. It didn't seem work (even after

> > increasing it), and in fact seemed to agiate her. We just were able

> > to get in to a psychiatrist on Friday who recommended we try Luvox

> > (dh has had luck w/ this one). It's so hard to be patient, she is

> > struggling so much! I'm so afraid that I'm adding to her problems

> > cause I'm so stressed out about this whole thing and struggling

> > myself too. I have two other kids (7, and 2 1/2), and am 6 months

> > pregnant. I don't have OCD, but definately stuggle w/ depression.

> >

> > , who was going to be such a good parent that her kids would be

> > happy

> >

December 13, 2004