Huge blow up today

[Guest guest]

Wow, my ocd 13 yo had a doozy today. Can anyone give me any good advice?

We have been really lax with him lately, spoiling both kids actually. They

got to go out and see movies, and activities the whole weekend, and today was

chore day. After goofing off all morning, my ocder did some chores, then I

finally went into the rec room, which he told me he had cleaned thouroughly (I

never go down there and let it be pretty much kids only).

Well he got caught in a bunch of big lies, because over the last several

weeks we sent him down to variously dust, vac, etc. and he faithfully reported

he had done each chore. Well the place was filthy. I was so upset over him

lying to us, and plus he lied about a few other things lately like that he got

detention at school etc.

So I confronted him and told him it was time to clean, and he blew up, told

me each pile that I pointed out was my fault, etc. etc. When I carefully

brought him back to truth based reality, over and over again (ie I haven't even

been in this room etc) he melted down and rushed out of the room in a huge

fit, slamming doors, locking himself in the bathroom.

When he calmed down, he was able to say that he knew he had been in the

habit of scapegoating me for his 'stuff'.

And was very sorry, and also said that when he came across a box of toys and

stuff from before his bio parents divorced, that it started to make him sad,

so he lashed out at me (yes they divorced LONG before I even met my husband,

so I did not break up their marriage!)

Why am I always the easy target?

He is better now, but I am shaking and quaking and I feel like I am about to

have a stroke. The level of his horrible language and obnoxious behavior

stun me.