Re: My daughters are not willing to give up their OCD

[Guest guest]

Hi !

It's good to 'see' you on this site. I find it so very helpful,

both in terms of finding suggestions from those who 'are there and

doing that' as well as an on-going source of support and strength

for myself as a virtual support group.

I'm so sorry about the Christmas OCD episode. It must have been very

painful and frustrating for you at a time when family and

celebration should reign.

Is there anything that really grabs or motivates your girls? Do

they have input into the goal of their ERP? As you know, we have

and continue to struggle with finding Anne's 'button' for

motivation. Earlier in the course of ERP, the use of rewards was

important...short term for the day-to-day ERP completion, and long-

term for the achievement of a pre-determined goal (bus-riding comes

to mind as an example). Along the way, it was crucial that Anne be

involved in the planning of the ERP's, the rewards, the goal.

One thing I struggle with is that our ERP's are not necessarily what

I consider 'by the book', i.e. specific 'write-down-your-fear-rating-

while-doing-this-exposure-daily' types of ERP's. Yet, Anne knows

HOW to do ERP and knows the REASON for doing ERP's, and continues to

work at her own pace against specific O's/C's. As an example, she

has chosen currently to work on opening doors (she's a master of

perfect timing to squeeze into an open door after someone has 'done

the deed' of touching the door). She has chosen as initial exposure

to carry a doorknob around to remind herself that her fear is

irrational (we purchased the doorknob on ebay...'pretty' for Anne in

that it is glass, 'used' for me for exposure ....) I do need to

remind her that 'D.K.' is lonely; D.K. needs to go to school; 'D.K.'

fell off the chair and needs a kiss; etc., but she IS exposing

herself (that didn't sound right...you know what I mean) to this

specific fear daily.

Another question about your daughters' therapy...are they working on

one specific O/C? We've agreed that as long as Anne was working

specifically on and OCD issue, we would overlook some others that

were yet too high for her to engage. What I've found over time is

that there is some spill-over into areas of OCD that were not

specifically addressed with ERP - Anne is able to recognize an issue

as OCD and brush is off more successfully without addressing each

individual area.

Anne, as part of therapy, has also begun a website for teens. She

listed it on the OCD-Kids-Support-Group, so maybe you could let your

daughters know about it. Anne is to keep a running journal of her

feelings about caring for D.K. (= doorknob, by the way) on the site -

yet another way to keep her exposed to the idea that touching

doorknobs is safe enough. Maybe your daughters could re-connect

through the Kids site here and find Anne's site through there.

Blessings, . I think you will find this site immensely

informative and supporting.

(Ohio)

[Guest guest]

Hi !

It's good to 'see' you on this site. I find it so very helpful,

both in terms of finding suggestions from those who 'are there and

doing that' as well as an on-going source of support and strength

for myself as a virtual support group.

I'm so sorry about the Christmas OCD episode. It must have been very

painful and frustrating for you at a time when family and

celebration should reign.

Is there anything that really grabs or motivates your girls? Do

they have input into the goal of their ERP? As you know, we have

and continue to struggle with finding Anne's 'button' for

motivation. Earlier in the course of ERP, the use of rewards was

important...short term for the day-to-day ERP completion, and long-

term for the achievement of a pre-determined goal (bus-riding comes

to mind as an example). Along the way, it was crucial that Anne be

involved in the planning of the ERP's, the rewards, the goal.

One thing I struggle with is that our ERP's are not necessarily what

I consider 'by the book', i.e. specific 'write-down-your-fear-rating-

while-doing-this-exposure-daily' types of ERP's. Yet, Anne knows

HOW to do ERP and knows the REASON for doing ERP's, and continues to

work at her own pace against specific O's/C's. As an example, she

has chosen currently to work on opening doors (she's a master of

perfect timing to squeeze into an open door after someone has 'done

the deed' of touching the door). She has chosen as initial exposure

to carry a doorknob around to remind herself that her fear is

irrational (we purchased the doorknob on ebay...'pretty' for Anne in

that it is glass, 'used' for me for exposure ....) I do need to

remind her that 'D.K.' is lonely; D.K. needs to go to school; 'D.K.'

fell off the chair and needs a kiss; etc., but she IS exposing

herself (that didn't sound right...you know what I mean) to this

specific fear daily.

Another question about your daughters' therapy...are they working on

one specific O/C? We've agreed that as long as Anne was working

specifically on and OCD issue, we would overlook some others that

were yet too high for her to engage. What I've found over time is

that there is some spill-over into areas of OCD that were not

specifically addressed with ERP - Anne is able to recognize an issue

as OCD and brush is off more successfully without addressing each

individual area.

Anne, as part of therapy, has also begun a website for teens. She

listed it on the OCD-Kids-Support-Group, so maybe you could let your

daughters know about it. Anne is to keep a running journal of her

feelings about caring for D.K. (= doorknob, by the way) on the site -

yet another way to keep her exposed to the idea that touching

doorknobs is safe enough. Maybe your daughters could re-connect

through the Kids site here and find Anne's site through there.

Blessings, . I think you will find this site immensely

informative and supporting.

(Ohio)

[Guest guest]

...but she couldn't get through the

doorway of her room. She stepped in and out for half an hour.

Oh, the above reminds me so much of (who'll be 16 next

Thursday). A half hour or over 2 hours - just trying to get

something " right " or get some feeling or whatever. Getting in/on the

bed or having to keep touching something until " whatever "

was " right " .... I'm extremely glad those days are past (and hope

they don't come back). And, yes, it's hard to watch. And no matter

how much they hate what they're doing and can be sooooo tired and

want to quit, they can't. I still remember one time when

couldn't eat/drink/go to bathroom (all needed to do) and he was

crying because he was missing his Saturday a.m. shows, but couldn't

get past this compulsion he was stuck doing in the kitchen. I used

to have to give him a push to get him through the bathroom doorway.

No other doorway that I recall, just that one.

Very heart-wrenching to watch all these episodes when our kids are

miserable in their OCD. You hope it'd give them some momentum

towards working on things doing the easier moments, but not always.

However, when he did manage to succeed at a few of those " lower

anxiety causing " compulsions, it did seem to somehow get easier to

eliminate a lot of others.

>

> -Thank you so much for your thoughts. I've never thought of the

> therapist as " only human " . I am depending on their knowledge and

> experience to get us past this stalemate. My twin girls are very

> close and although one is more ready to change, she won't do it

> without her sister's permission (all of this is unspoken, but

> evident). With medication, 40mg of prozac, they can keep their

> symptoms to a minimum outside of the house. Inside of our house we

[Guest guest]

...but she couldn't get through the

doorway of her room. She stepped in and out for half an hour.

Oh, the above reminds me so much of (who'll be 16 next

Thursday). A half hour or over 2 hours - just trying to get

something " right " or get some feeling or whatever. Getting in/on the

bed or having to keep touching something until " whatever "

was " right " .... I'm extremely glad those days are past (and hope

they don't come back). And, yes, it's hard to watch. And no matter

how much they hate what they're doing and can be sooooo tired and

want to quit, they can't. I still remember one time when

couldn't eat/drink/go to bathroom (all needed to do) and he was

crying because he was missing his Saturday a.m. shows, but couldn't

get past this compulsion he was stuck doing in the kitchen. I used

to have to give him a push to get him through the bathroom doorway.

No other doorway that I recall, just that one.

Very heart-wrenching to watch all these episodes when our kids are

miserable in their OCD. You hope it'd give them some momentum

towards working on things doing the easier moments, but not always.

However, when he did manage to succeed at a few of those " lower

anxiety causing " compulsions, it did seem to somehow get easier to

eliminate a lot of others.

>

> -Thank you so much for your thoughts. I've never thought of the

> therapist as " only human " . I am depending on their knowledge and

> experience to get us past this stalemate. My twin girls are very

> close and although one is more ready to change, she won't do it

> without her sister's permission (all of this is unspoken, but

> evident). With medication, 40mg of prozac, they can keep their

> symptoms to a minimum outside of the house. Inside of our house we

[Guest guest]

-Hello Anne,

What a nice surprise to find you here. and tend to

reinforce one another's need to continue rituals. Yes, our current

therapist is addressing one issue at a time in therapy. In her

office she has gotten to stop jiggling the toilet flusher and

to limit her turning her faucets on and off. At home I've not been

successful. 's forced cough is another issue. 's

things are more expressing negative things she is thinking prefaced

by " I'm sorry, but... " . has a concern about contamination,

but can touch things. However, she uses about twenty hits of our

soap dispenser to wash her hands. And yes, I do tell her to stop

for a variety of reasons, and sometimes she can.

They seem not to want to get rid of their ocd and see it as part of

their identity. Their former therapist thought it had something to

do with their being adopted.

We've been on Luvox, Paxil, Zoloft and now Prozac. Is Lexipro

better? My husband has been very resistant to higher doses of these

medications, so the girls had been on 25mg of prozac for about a

year. This summer and fall their symptoms got much worse and he

agreed to let our psychopharmacologist raise it to a minimum

therapeutic dose of 40mg. The symptoms are better, but not enough.

My daughters are not as compliant as yours, I think, or you are

stronger than I in getting your message across.

-- In , " micorr1 " <micorr@m...> wrote:

>

> Hi !

>

> It's good to 'see' you on this site. I find it so very helpful,

> both in terms of finding suggestions from those who 'are there and

> doing that' as well as an on-going source of support and strength

> for myself as a virtual support group.

>

> I'm so sorry about the Christmas OCD episode. It must have been

very

> painful and frustrating for you at a time when family and

> celebration should reign.

>

> Is there anything that really grabs or motivates your girls? Do

> they have input into the goal of their ERP? As you know, we have

> and continue to struggle with finding Anne's 'button' for

> motivation. Earlier in the course of ERP, the use of rewards was

> important...short term for the day-to-day ERP completion, and long-

> term for the achievement of a pre-determined goal (bus-riding

comes

> to mind as an example). Along the way, it was crucial that Anne

be

> involved in the planning of the ERP's, the rewards, the goal.

>

> One thing I struggle with is that our ERP's are not necessarily

what

> I consider 'by the book', i.e. specific 'write-down-your-fear-

rating-

> while-doing-this-exposure-daily' types of ERP's. Yet, Anne knows

> HOW to do ERP and knows the REASON for doing ERP's, and continues

to

> work at her own pace against specific O's/C's. As an example, she

> has chosen currently to work on opening doors (she's a master of

> perfect timing to squeeze into an open door after someone

has 'done

> the deed' of touching the door). She has chosen as initial

exposure

> to carry a doorknob around to remind herself that her fear is

> irrational (we purchased the doorknob on ebay...'pretty' for Anne

in

> that it is glass, 'used' for me for exposure ....) I do need to

> remind her that 'D.K.' is lonely; D.K. needs to go to

school; 'D.K.'

> fell off the chair and needs a kiss; etc., but she IS exposing

> herself (that didn't sound right...you know what I mean) to this

> specific fear daily.

>

> Another question about your daughters' therapy...are they working

on

> one specific O/C? We've agreed that as long as Anne was working

> specifically on and OCD issue, we would overlook some others that

> were yet too high for her to engage. What I've found over time is

> that there is some spill-over into areas of OCD that were not

> specifically addressed with ERP - Anne is able to recognize an

issue

> as OCD and brush is off more successfully without addressing each

> individual area.

>

> Anne, as part of therapy, has also begun a website for teens. She

> listed it on the OCD-Kids-Support-Group, so maybe you could let

your

> daughters know about it. Anne is to keep a running journal of her

> feelings about caring for D.K. (= doorknob, by the way) on the

site -

> yet another way to keep her exposed to the idea that touching

> doorknobs is safe enough. Maybe your daughters could re-connect

> through the Kids site here and find Anne's site through there.

>

> Blessings, . I think you will find this site immensely

> informative and supporting.

>

> (Ohio)