Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Dylan, Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard dealing with that. Its hard for me to get close to someone, and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even if its a casual touch. Its nothing agaisnt him, its just i guess im afraid of getting hurt. --- Rath wrote: > I hope the person asking for advice feels that they > got the support that they needed. Did you? I know > you > are out there and if you are still feeling the need > to > get advice or have someone care let us know- being > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have > gone > through it- including myself- so I can feel your > pain > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may > mean > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out > there > and if you want to talk about it still-in a serious > way let me know :-) dylan > > --- g wrote: > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or cucumber > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh > everytime > > I > > took a bite. > > > > --- Frederick King wrote: > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea. > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > lol,, > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > janet wrote: *blushes* > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > cause I have seen some rather large > cucumbers!! > > > Oh my I am bad. > > > > > > Love > > > Janet > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!! > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!! > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: And > you > > > can always have a " condom date " where you both > > > practice putting the > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can help > > break > > > the ice and give you > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling of > the > > > matter " at hand " . > > > > > > Sally <just a thought> > > > > > > > > > Re: Need personal > > > advice > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared and > it > > > is > > > really great that you have been open with him. > > > Protect > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as well > > and > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms > > aren't > > > just for him they are for you! The first time is > > > always awkward but only you can know if you are > > > ready > > > so that is something you really have to ask > > > yourself. > > > it's great that you are so open and honest and > > this > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and > honest > > > relationship. good for > > > you- dylan :-) > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > wrote: > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been dating my > > > > boyfriend (Dated him > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been > together > > 8 > > > > months. And we are > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot of > > > > information about Hep C > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > The things, I have only had sex once before. > And > > > it > > > > was forced on me. > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to you > > know > > > > get there. We both > > > > want to, but it is his first time. > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do > this. > > I > > > > am scared of giving > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it threw > > > sex. > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause him > > any > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > want to give him hep C. > > > > > > > > Please I need advice! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Dylan, Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard dealing with that. Its hard for me to get close to someone, and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even if its a casual touch. Its nothing agaisnt him, its just i guess im afraid of getting hurt. --- Rath wrote: > I hope the person asking for advice feels that they > got the support that they needed. Did you? I know > you > are out there and if you are still feeling the need > to > get advice or have someone care let us know- being > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have > gone > through it- including myself- so I can feel your > pain > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may > mean > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out > there > and if you want to talk about it still-in a serious > way let me know :-) dylan > > --- g wrote: > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or cucumber > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh > everytime > > I > > took a bite. > > > > --- Frederick King wrote: > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea. > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > lol,, > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > janet wrote: *blushes* > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > cause I have seen some rather large > cucumbers!! > > > Oh my I am bad. > > > > > > Love > > > Janet > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!! > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!! > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: And > you > > > can always have a " condom date " where you both > > > practice putting the > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can help > > break > > > the ice and give you > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling of > the > > > matter " at hand " . > > > > > > Sally <just a thought> > > > > > > > > > Re: Need personal > > > advice > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared and > it > > > is > > > really great that you have been open with him. > > > Protect > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as well > > and > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms > > aren't > > > just for him they are for you! The first time is > > > always awkward but only you can know if you are > > > ready > > > so that is something you really have to ask > > > yourself. > > > it's great that you are so open and honest and > > this > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and > honest > > > relationship. good for > > > you- dylan :-) > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > wrote: > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been dating my > > > > boyfriend (Dated him > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been > together > > 8 > > > > months. And we are > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot of > > > > information about Hep C > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > The things, I have only had sex once before. > And > > > it > > > > was forced on me. > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to you > > know > > > > get there. We both > > > > want to, but it is his first time. > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do > this. > > I > > > > am scared of giving > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it threw > > > sex. > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause him > > any > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > want to give him hep C. > > > > > > > > Please I need advice! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 oh sweetie, you know this is just advice so you don't have to take it but maybe jumping from certain touches all the way to sex isn't the way to go yet. You need to experience touch as something that can make you feel good and this can be exercised through things like back massages, maybe your boyfriend could give you a pedicure? things that have no pressure but can help you reclaim your body and learn that you deserve to feel good and that touch can be okay on your terms. It may take a while for you to fully feel comfortable but don't let some jerk 'own' your body for the rest of your life. It really can be pleasurable and taking small steps usually helps...especially if you take the pressure off and just enjoy the touch with no goal but enjoying the massage etc. I know it will work out for you and there are people who care so hang in there and you are not alone :-) Dylan --- g wrote: > Dylan, > Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard > dealing > with that. Its hard for me to get close to someone, > and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even > if > its a casual touch. Its nothing against him, its > just > i guess im afraid of getting hurt. > > --- Rath wrote: > > > I hope the person asking for advice feels that > they > > got the support that they needed. Did you? I know > > you > > are out there and if you are still feeling the > need > > to > > get advice or have someone care let us know- being > > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have > > gone > > through it- including myself- so I can feel your > > pain > > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may > > mean > > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out > > there > > and if you want to talk about it still-in a > serious > > way let me know :-) dylan > > > > --- g wrote: > > > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or > cucumber > > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh > > everytime > > > I > > > took a bite. > > > > > > --- Frederick King wrote: > > > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea. > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > lol,, > > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > > > janet wrote: > *blushes* > > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to > > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > > cause I have seen some rather large > > cucumbers!! > > > > Oh my I am bad. > > > > > > > > Love > > > > Janet > > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!! > > > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!! > > > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: And > > you > > > > can always have a " condom date " where you both > > > > practice putting the > > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can help > > > break > > > > the ice and give you > > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling of > > the > > > > matter " at hand " . > > > > > > > > Sally <just a thought> > > > > > > > > > > > > Re: Need > personal > > > > advice > > > > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared > and > > it > > > > is > > > > really great that you have been open with him. > > > > Protect > > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as > well > > > and > > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms > > > aren't > > > > just for him they are for you! The first time > is > > > > always awkward but only you can know if you > are > > > > ready > > > > so that is something you really have to ask > > > > yourself. > > > > it's great that you are so open and honest and > > > this > > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and > > honest > > > > relationship. good for > > > > you- dylan :-) > > > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been dating > my > > > > > boyfriend (Dated him > > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been > > together > > > 8 > > > > > months. And we are > > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot of > > > > > information about Hep C > > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > > The things, I have only had sex once before. > > And > > > > it > > > > > was forced on me. > > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to > you > > > know > > > > > get there. We both > > > > > want to, but it is his first time. > > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do > > this. > > > I > > > > > am scared of giving > > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it > threw > > > > sex. > > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause > him > > > any > > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > > want to give him hep C. > > > > > > > > > > Please I need advice! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 oh sweetie, you know this is just advice so you don't have to take it but maybe jumping from certain touches all the way to sex isn't the way to go yet. You need to experience touch as something that can make you feel good and this can be exercised through things like back massages, maybe your boyfriend could give you a pedicure? things that have no pressure but can help you reclaim your body and learn that you deserve to feel good and that touch can be okay on your terms. It may take a while for you to fully feel comfortable but don't let some jerk 'own' your body for the rest of your life. It really can be pleasurable and taking small steps usually helps...especially if you take the pressure off and just enjoy the touch with no goal but enjoying the massage etc. I know it will work out for you and there are people who care so hang in there and you are not alone :-) Dylan --- g wrote: > Dylan, > Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard > dealing > with that. Its hard for me to get close to someone, > and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even > if > its a casual touch. Its nothing against him, its > just > i guess im afraid of getting hurt. > > --- Rath wrote: > > > I hope the person asking for advice feels that > they > > got the support that they needed. Did you? I know > > you > > are out there and if you are still feeling the > need > > to > > get advice or have someone care let us know- being > > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have > > gone > > through it- including myself- so I can feel your > > pain > > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may > > mean > > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out > > there > > and if you want to talk about it still-in a > serious > > way let me know :-) dylan > > > > --- g wrote: > > > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or > cucumber > > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh > > everytime > > > I > > > took a bite. > > > > > > --- Frederick King wrote: > > > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea. > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > lol,, > > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > > > janet wrote: > *blushes* > > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to > > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > > cause I have seen some rather large > > cucumbers!! > > > > Oh my I am bad. > > > > > > > > Love > > > > Janet > > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!! > > > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!! > > > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: And > > you > > > > can always have a " condom date " where you both > > > > practice putting the > > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can help > > > break > > > > the ice and give you > > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling of > > the > > > > matter " at hand " . > > > > > > > > Sally <just a thought> > > > > > > > > > > > > Re: Need > personal > > > > advice > > > > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared > and > > it > > > > is > > > > really great that you have been open with him. > > > > Protect > > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as > well > > > and > > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms > > > aren't > > > > just for him they are for you! The first time > is > > > > always awkward but only you can know if you > are > > > > ready > > > > so that is something you really have to ask > > > > yourself. > > > > it's great that you are so open and honest and > > > this > > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and > > honest > > > > relationship. good for > > > > you- dylan :-) > > > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been dating > my > > > > > boyfriend (Dated him > > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been > > together > > > 8 > > > > > months. And we are > > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot of > > > > > information about Hep C > > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > > The things, I have only had sex once before. > > And > > > > it > > > > > was forced on me. > > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to > you > > > know > > > > > get there. We both > > > > > want to, but it is his first time. > > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do > > this. > > > I > > > > > am scared of giving > > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it > threw > > > > sex. > > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause > him > > > any > > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > > want to give him hep C. > > > > > > > > > > Please I need advice! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 oh sweetie, you know this is just advice so you don't have to take it but maybe jumping from certain touches all the way to sex isn't the way to go yet. You need to experience touch as something that can make you feel good and this can be exercised through things like back massages, maybe your boyfriend could give you a pedicure? things that have no pressure but can help you reclaim your body and learn that you deserve to feel good and that touch can be okay on your terms. It may take a while for you to fully feel comfortable but don't let some jerk 'own' your body for the rest of your life. It really can be pleasurable and taking small steps usually helps...especially if you take the pressure off and just enjoy the touch with no goal but enjoying the massage etc. I know it will work out for you and there are people who care so hang in there and you are not alone :-) Dylan --- g wrote: > Dylan, > Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard > dealing > with that. Its hard for me to get close to someone, > and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even > if > its a casual touch. Its nothing against him, its > just > i guess im afraid of getting hurt. > > --- Rath wrote: > > > I hope the person asking for advice feels that > they > > got the support that they needed. Did you? I know > > you > > are out there and if you are still feeling the > need > > to > > get advice or have someone care let us know- being > > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have > > gone > > through it- including myself- so I can feel your > > pain > > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may > > mean > > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out > > there > > and if you want to talk about it still-in a > serious > > way let me know :-) dylan > > > > --- g wrote: > > > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or > cucumber > > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh > > everytime > > > I > > > took a bite. > > > > > > --- Frederick King wrote: > > > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea. > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > lol,, > > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > > > janet wrote: > *blushes* > > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to > > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > > cause I have seen some rather large > > cucumbers!! > > > > Oh my I am bad. > > > > > > > > Love > > > > Janet > > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!! > > > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!! > > > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: And > > you > > > > can always have a " condom date " where you both > > > > practice putting the > > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can help > > > break > > > > the ice and give you > > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling of > > the > > > > matter " at hand " . > > > > > > > > Sally <just a thought> > > > > > > > > > > > > Re: Need > personal > > > > advice > > > > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared > and > > it > > > > is > > > > really great that you have been open with him. > > > > Protect > > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as > well > > > and > > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms > > > aren't > > > > just for him they are for you! The first time > is > > > > always awkward but only you can know if you > are > > > > ready > > > > so that is something you really have to ask > > > > yourself. > > > > it's great that you are so open and honest and > > > this > > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and > > honest > > > > relationship. good for > > > > you- dylan :-) > > > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been dating > my > > > > > boyfriend (Dated him > > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been > > together > > > 8 > > > > > months. And we are > > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot of > > > > > information about Hep C > > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > > The things, I have only had sex once before. > > And > > > > it > > > > > was forced on me. > > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to > you > > > know > > > > > get there. We both > > > > > want to, but it is his first time. > > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do > > this. > > > I > > > > > am scared of giving > > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it > threw > > > > sex. > > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause > him > > > any > > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > > want to give him hep C. > > > > > > > > > > Please I need advice! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Dylan, Excellent advice!! Thank you for this, is a great post and very helpful. Love Janet Rath wrote: oh sweetie, you know this is just advice so you don't haveto take it but maybe jumping from certain touches allthe way to sex isn't the way to go yet. You need toexperience touch as something that can make you feelgood and this can be exercised through things likeback massages, maybe your boyfriend could give you apedicure? things that have no pressure but can helpyou reclaim your body and learn that you deserve tofeel good and that touch can be okay on your terms. Itmay take a while for you to fully feel comfortable butdon't let some jerk 'own' your body for the rest ofyour life. It really can be pleasurable and takingsmall steps usually helps...especially if you take thepressure off and just enjoy the touch with no goal butenjoying the massage etc. I know it will work out foryou and there are people who care so hang in there andyou are not alone :-) Dylan--- g wrote:> Dylan,> Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard> dealing> with that. Its hard for me to get close to someone,> and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even> if> its a casual touch. Its nothing against him, its> just> i guess im afraid of getting hurt.> > --- Rath wrote:> > > I hope the person asking for advice feels that> they> > got the support that they needed. Did you? I know> > you> > are out there and if you are still feeling the> need> > to> > get advice or have someone care let us know- being> > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have> > gone> > through it- including myself- so I can feel your> > pain> > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may> > mean> > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out> > there> > and if you want to talk about it still-in a> serious> > way let me know :-) dylan> > > > --- g wrote:> > > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or> cucumber> > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh> > everytime> > > I> > > took a bite.> > > > > > --- Frederick King wrote:> > > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea.> > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > lol,,> > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > > > janet wrote: > *blushes* > > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to> > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > > cause I have seen some rather large> > cucumbers!!> > > > Oh my I am bad.> > > > > > > > Love> > > > Janet> > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!!> > > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote:> > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!!> > > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: And> > you> > > > can always have a "condom date" where you both> > > > practice putting the> > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can help> > > break> > > > the ice and give you> > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling of> > the> > > > matter "at hand".> > > > > > > > Sally <just a thought>> > > > > > > > > > > > Re: Need> personal> > > > advice> > > > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared> and> > it> > > > is> > > > really great that you have been open with him.> > > > Protect> > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as> well> > > and> > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms> > > aren't> > > > just for him they are for you! The first time> is> > > > always awkward but only you can know if you> are> > > > ready> > > > so that is something you really have to ask> > > > yourself.> > > > it's great that you are so open and honest and> > > this> > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and> > honest> > > > relationship. good for> > > > you- dylan :-)> > > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > > wrote:> > > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been dating> my> > > > > boyfriend (Dated him> > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been> > together> > > 8> > > > > months. And we are > > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot of> > > > > information about Hep C > > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > > The things, I have only had sex once before.> > And> > > > it> > > > > was forced on me. > > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to> you> > > know> > > > > get there. We both > > > > > want to, but it is his first time.> > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do> > this.> > > I> > > > > am scared of giving > > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it> threw> > > > sex.> > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause> him> > > any> > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > > want to give him hep C.> > > > > > > > > > Please I need advice!> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > __________________________________________________> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Dylan, Excellent advice!! Thank you for this, is a great post and very helpful. Love Janet Rath wrote: oh sweetie, you know this is just advice so you don't haveto take it but maybe jumping from certain touches allthe way to sex isn't the way to go yet. You need toexperience touch as something that can make you feelgood and this can be exercised through things likeback massages, maybe your boyfriend could give you apedicure? things that have no pressure but can helpyou reclaim your body and learn that you deserve tofeel good and that touch can be okay on your terms. Itmay take a while for you to fully feel comfortable butdon't let some jerk 'own' your body for the rest ofyour life. It really can be pleasurable and takingsmall steps usually helps...especially if you take thepressure off and just enjoy the touch with no goal butenjoying the massage etc. I know it will work out foryou and there are people who care so hang in there andyou are not alone :-) Dylan--- g wrote:> Dylan,> Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard> dealing> with that. Its hard for me to get close to someone,> and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even> if> its a casual touch. Its nothing against him, its> just> i guess im afraid of getting hurt.> > --- Rath wrote:> > > I hope the person asking for advice feels that> they> > got the support that they needed. Did you? I know> > you> > are out there and if you are still feeling the> need> > to> > get advice or have someone care let us know- being> > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have> > gone> > through it- including myself- so I can feel your> > pain> > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may> > mean> > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out> > there> > and if you want to talk about it still-in a> serious> > way let me know :-) dylan> > > > --- g wrote:> > > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or> cucumber> > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh> > everytime> > > I> > > took a bite.> > > > > > --- Frederick King wrote:> > > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea.> > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > lol,,> > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > > > janet wrote: > *blushes* > > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to> > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > > cause I have seen some rather large> > cucumbers!!> > > > Oh my I am bad.> > > > > > > > Love> > > > Janet> > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!!> > > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote:> > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!!> > > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: And> > you> > > > can always have a "condom date" where you both> > > > practice putting the> > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can help> > > break> > > > the ice and give you> > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling of> > the> > > > matter "at hand".> > > > > > > > Sally <just a thought>> > > > > > > > > > > > Re: Need> personal> > > > advice> > > > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared> and> > it> > > > is> > > > really great that you have been open with him.> > > > Protect> > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as> well> > > and> > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms> > > aren't> > > > just for him they are for you! The first time> is> > > > always awkward but only you can know if you> are> > > > ready> > > > so that is something you really have to ask> > > > yourself.> > > > it's great that you are so open and honest and> > > this> > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and> > honest> > > > relationship. good for> > > > you- dylan :-)> > > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > > wrote:> > > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been dating> my> > > > > boyfriend (Dated him> > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been> > together> > > 8> > > > > months. And we are > > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot of> > > > > information about Hep C > > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > > The things, I have only had sex once before.> > And> > > > it> > > > > was forced on me. > > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to> you> > > know> > > > > get there. We both > > > > > want to, but it is his first time.> > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do> > this.> > > I> > > > > am scared of giving > > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it> threw> > > > sex.> > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause> him> > > any> > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > > want to give him hep C.> > > > > > > > > > Please I need advice!> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > __________________________________________________> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Dylan, Excellent advice!! Thank you for this, is a great post and very helpful. Love Janet Rath wrote: oh sweetie, you know this is just advice so you don't haveto take it but maybe jumping from certain touches allthe way to sex isn't the way to go yet. You need toexperience touch as something that can make you feelgood and this can be exercised through things likeback massages, maybe your boyfriend could give you apedicure? things that have no pressure but can helpyou reclaim your body and learn that you deserve tofeel good and that touch can be okay on your terms. Itmay take a while for you to fully feel comfortable butdon't let some jerk 'own' your body for the rest ofyour life. It really can be pleasurable and takingsmall steps usually helps...especially if you take thepressure off and just enjoy the touch with no goal butenjoying the massage etc. I know it will work out foryou and there are people who care so hang in there andyou are not alone :-) Dylan--- g wrote:> Dylan,> Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard> dealing> with that. Its hard for me to get close to someone,> and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even> if> its a casual touch. Its nothing against him, its> just> i guess im afraid of getting hurt.> > --- Rath wrote:> > > I hope the person asking for advice feels that> they> > got the support that they needed. Did you? I know> > you> > are out there and if you are still feeling the> need> > to> > get advice or have someone care let us know- being> > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have> > gone> > through it- including myself- so I can feel your> > pain> > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may> > mean> > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out> > there> > and if you want to talk about it still-in a> serious> > way let me know :-) dylan> > > > --- g wrote:> > > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or> cucumber> > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh> > everytime> > > I> > > took a bite.> > > > > > --- Frederick King wrote:> > > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea.> > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > lol,,> > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > > > janet wrote: > *blushes* > > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to> > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > > cause I have seen some rather large> > cucumbers!!> > > > Oh my I am bad.> > > > > > > > Love> > > > Janet> > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!!> > > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote:> > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!!> > > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: And> > you> > > > can always have a "condom date" where you both> > > > practice putting the> > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can help> > > break> > > > the ice and give you> > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling of> > the> > > > matter "at hand".> > > > > > > > Sally <just a thought>> > > > > > > > > > > > Re: Need> personal> > > > advice> > > > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared> and> > it> > > > is> > > > really great that you have been open with him.> > > > Protect> > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as> well> > > and> > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms> > > aren't> > > > just for him they are for you! The first time> is> > > > always awkward but only you can know if you> are> > > > ready> > > > so that is something you really have to ask> > > > yourself.> > > > it's great that you are so open and honest and> > > this> > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and> > honest> > > > relationship. good for> > > > you- dylan :-)> > > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > > wrote:> > > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been dating> my> > > > > boyfriend (Dated him> > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been> > together> > > 8> > > > > months. And we are > > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot of> > > > > information about Hep C > > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > > The things, I have only had sex once before.> > And> > > > it> > > > > was forced on me. > > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to> you> > > know> > > > > get there. We both > > > > > want to, but it is his first time.> > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do> > this.> > > I> > > > > am scared of giving > > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it> threw> > > > sex.> > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause> him> > > any> > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > > want to give him hep C.> > > > > > > > > > Please I need advice!> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > __________________________________________________> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Again thanks. I dont freeze up all the time, just sometimes, when it comes by suprise. I love cuddling with him. --- Rath wrote: > oh sweetie, > you know this is just advice so you don't > have > to take it but maybe jumping from certain touches > all > the way to sex isn't the way to go yet. You need to > experience touch as something that can make you feel > good and this can be exercised through things like > back massages, maybe your boyfriend could give you a > pedicure? things that have no pressure but can help > you reclaim your body and learn that you deserve to > feel good and that touch can be okay on your terms. > It > may take a while for you to fully feel comfortable > but > don't let some jerk 'own' your body for the rest of > your life. It really can be pleasurable and taking > small steps usually helps...especially if you take > the > pressure off and just enjoy the touch with no goal > but > enjoying the massage etc. I know it will work out > for > you and there are people who care so hang in there > and > you are not alone :-) Dylan > > --- g wrote: > > > Dylan, > > Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard > > dealing > > with that. Its hard for me to get close to > someone, > > and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even > > if > > its a casual touch. Its nothing against him, its > > just > > i guess im afraid of getting hurt. > > > > --- Rath wrote: > > > > > I hope the person asking for advice feels that > > they > > > got the support that they needed. Did you? I > know > > > you > > > are out there and if you are still feeling the > > need > > > to > > > get advice or have someone care let us know- > being > > > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have > > > gone > > > through it- including myself- so I can feel your > > > pain > > > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may > > > mean > > > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out > > > there > > > and if you want to talk about it still-in a > > serious > > > way let me know :-) dylan > > > > > > --- g > wrote: > > > > > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or > > cucumber > > > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh > > > everytime > > > > I > > > > took a bite. > > > > > > > > --- Frederick King wrote: > > > > > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea. > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > > > lol,, > > > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > > > > > janet wrote: > > *blushes* > > > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to > > > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > > > cause I have seen some rather large > > > cucumbers!! > > > > > Oh my I am bad. > > > > > > > > > > Love > > > > > Janet > > > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!! > > > > > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: > And > > > you > > > > > can always have a " condom date " where you > both > > > > > practice putting the > > > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can > help > > > > break > > > > > the ice and give you > > > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling > of > > > the > > > > > matter " at hand " . > > > > > > > > > > Sally <just a thought> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Re: Need > > personal > > > > > advice > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared > > and > > > it > > > > > is > > > > > really great that you have been open with > him. > > > > > Protect > > > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as > > well > > > > and > > > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms > > > > aren't > > > > > just for him they are for you! The first > time > > is > > > > > always awkward but only you can know if you > > are > > > > > ready > > > > > so that is something you really have to ask > > > > > yourself. > > > > > it's great that you are so open and honest > and > > > > this > > > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and > > > honest > > > > > relationship. good for > > > > > you- dylan :-) > > > > > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been > dating > > my > > > > > > boyfriend (Dated him > > > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been > > > together > > > > 8 > > > > > > months. And we are > > > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot > of > > > > > > information about Hep C > > > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > > > The things, I have only had sex once > before. > > > And > > > > > it > > > > > > was forced on me. > > > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to > > you > > > > know > > > > > > get there. We both > > > > > > want to, but it is his first time. > > > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do > > > this. > > > > I > > > > > > am scared of giving > > > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it > > threw > > > > > sex. > > > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause > > him > > > > any > > > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > > > want to give him hep C. > > > > > > > > > > > > Please I need advice! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Again thanks. I dont freeze up all the time, just sometimes, when it comes by suprise. I love cuddling with him. --- Rath wrote: > oh sweetie, > you know this is just advice so you don't > have > to take it but maybe jumping from certain touches > all > the way to sex isn't the way to go yet. You need to > experience touch as something that can make you feel > good and this can be exercised through things like > back massages, maybe your boyfriend could give you a > pedicure? things that have no pressure but can help > you reclaim your body and learn that you deserve to > feel good and that touch can be okay on your terms. > It > may take a while for you to fully feel comfortable > but > don't let some jerk 'own' your body for the rest of > your life. It really can be pleasurable and taking > small steps usually helps...especially if you take > the > pressure off and just enjoy the touch with no goal > but > enjoying the massage etc. I know it will work out > for > you and there are people who care so hang in there > and > you are not alone :-) Dylan > > --- g wrote: > > > Dylan, > > Thank you very much for caring. Yes it is hard > > dealing > > with that. Its hard for me to get close to > someone, > > and I tense up when my boyfriends touches me, even > > if > > its a casual touch. Its nothing against him, its > > just > > i guess im afraid of getting hurt. > > > > --- Rath wrote: > > > > > I hope the person asking for advice feels that > > they > > > got the support that they needed. Did you? I > know > > > you > > > are out there and if you are still feeling the > > need > > > to > > > get advice or have someone care let us know- > being > > > sexually abused is difficult and many of us have > > > gone > > > through it- including myself- so I can feel your > > > pain > > > when it comes to the fear of sex and what it may > > > mean > > > if it isn't forced etc.- I hope you are okay out > > > there > > > and if you want to talk about it still-in a > > serious > > > way let me know :-) dylan > > > > > > --- g > wrote: > > > > > > > LOL I dont think I could eat a carrot or > > cucumber > > > > after doing that lol I think I would laugh > > > everytime > > > > I > > > > took a bite. > > > > > > > > --- Frederick King wrote: > > > > > > > > > A salad afterward would be a good idea. > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > > > lol,, > > > > > janet ,, you crack me up girl!!! > > > > > > > > > > janet wrote: > > *blushes* > > > > > Maybe start off with carrots? so as not to > > > > > intimidate the young man?? Hee Hee > > > > > cause I have seen some rather large > > > cucumbers!! > > > > > Oh my I am bad. > > > > > > > > > > Love > > > > > Janet > > > > > Afterwards make a tasty salad!! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Jackie on wrote: > > > > > Sally, THATS a great idea!!! > > > > > > > > > > Sally Hines wrote: > And > > > you > > > > > can always have a " condom date " where you > both > > > > > practice putting the > > > > > condoms on cucumbers or zucchini. It can > help > > > > break > > > > > the ice and give you > > > > > both a bit more skill in your own handling > of > > > the > > > > > matter " at hand " . > > > > > > > > > > Sally <just a thought> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Re: Need > > personal > > > > > advice > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Using condoms may make you feel less scared > > and > > > it > > > > > is > > > > > really great that you have been open with > him. > > > > > Protect > > > > > yourself as well b/c you can get things as > > well > > > > and > > > > > this can make having hep c worse- so condoms > > > > aren't > > > > > just for him they are for you! The first > time > > is > > > > > always awkward but only you can know if you > > are > > > > > ready > > > > > so that is something you really have to ask > > > > > yourself. > > > > > it's great that you are so open and honest > and > > > > this > > > > > will help you in having a healthy, open and > > > honest > > > > > relationship. good for > > > > > you- dylan :-) > > > > > > > > > > --- darker_goddess > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > Ok I really need advice. I have been > dating > > my > > > > > > boyfriend (Dated him > > > > > > before on and off) Anyways we have been > > > together > > > > 8 > > > > > > months. And we are > > > > > > ready to have sex. I have showed him alot > of > > > > > > information about Hep C > > > > > > and if we use protection we will be ok. > > > > > > The things, I have only had sex once > before. > > > And > > > > > it > > > > > > was forced on me. > > > > > > He is shy and so am I. I dont know how to > > you > > > > know > > > > > > get there. We both > > > > > > want to, but it is his first time. > > > > > > Another thing, I need to know how I can do > > > this. > > > > I > > > > > > am scared of giving > > > > > > him hep C even tho it is rare to pass it > > threw > > > > > sex. > > > > > > I love him, but Im > > > > > > not sure what to do. I dont want to cause > > him > > > > any > > > > > > pain, and I dont > > > > > > want to give him hep C. > > > > > > > > > > > > Please I need advice! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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