Hello

[Guest guest]

Jeanne, its wonderful to have you here - we KOs learn so much on this list.

Love,

Lissa

[Guest guest]

hang in there Jeanne and good luck in your career!

sharon

[Guest guest]

Minja,

Welcome to this group. I think you and I have the same family. :-) I also

have two brothers totally in denial (and one of them is VERY screwed up).

I went through the same kind of phone calls from my mother, very abusive,

followed by months of being ignored, etc. I ended up doing what you've done,

I just cut myself off from my mother. I did feel guilt for a while, but

after I noticed how well I was doing it eased up a bit, and I think it just

happened in a time in my life when I was able to handle it better, if that

makes sense.

You are not a monster. You're a survivor, and in my opinion you should

congratulate yourself on surviving something so horrible inflicted on you by

your mother. Reading SWOE was a good start.

The best thing I ever did was to start trusting myself and my beliefs and my

perception. Children are not responsible for their parents. You are doing

what is right for you, and you should trust in that. I had to cut myself off

so completely that I refused mail, calls, and even to open the door a few

times when my mother came to my house insisting I let her in. You are under

no obligation to let this woman into your life if that's what you want.

Years after establishing strict, unbending boundaries with my own mother, we

do have a relationship, one on MY terms. If she gets close to crossing the

line, I make it very clear to her what her choices are. At first she'd get

mad and I wouldn't see her for a long time. But I think as she began to

realize that I meant it and I'd be just fine without her in my life, she

adjusted. I won't say she respects my boundaries, but she knows they are

there, and she knows the consequences if she crosses them. Not all BPD

mothers may be capable of doing this. Mine is fairly high functioning.

Please don't beat yourself up for doing what you feel is right. It's your

choice, it's your life, and you deserve to be happy and to feel good. We all

do.

Take care,

<< Hi everyone

I'm new here, alhtough I've been on the nonbp-christian for a couple

of days as well. I don't know if anyone here read my long intro I sent

there. In brief, I'm 42, female and South African. This weekend I finished

reading " Walking on Egshells " and it made me sit up because I recognised my

mom in there. I thought for a while that she is bipolar, but it looks like

she may be BPD as well. Problem is, there is no way she would consult an

expert, and I'm basically ignorant about these things.

The two of us have had a bad relationship for as long as I can

remember, and it has ended in complete alienation.

The turning point in my life came almost 2 years ago when I realised

that my mom makes all those accusations because she believes them, not just

to hurt me and my dad. We've both had distortion campaigns against us. (My

parents divorced about 20 years ago). It looks like she is still slandering

me - unless I've become paranoid myself.

Anyway, since then, I haven't visited her, but my mind is very, very

troubled about it. I feel guilty and worried about her wellbeing. She is not

capable of making sensible choices about her future. On the other hand, I

can't even consider phoning her without getting panicky. A conversation wtih

her becomes a list of my " sins " and then a heated argument and usually ends

with her slamming the phone down in my ear. And then months of being

ignored. But after the last visit, I changed my phone number.

I have 2 brothers who see her as just eccentric and arty, and when I

tell them how she slanders, manipulates and lies to me, they don't believe

me. Is this possible? Is the problem in my head?

My older brother has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My mom's

many behaviours are a blend of bipolar and BPD (in my humble opinion). Her

delusions - that I'm a monster who has destroyed her life, makes her suffer,

beats her up, plots against her, neglects her etc - are persistent. Years

ago, my dad was the monster. He has no resentment and has moved on.

I feel like I can only move on if I cut her out of my life

completely, but I know that my conscience will make me suffer. How can a

person dislike her own mother so much? Am I a monster after all? Why can't I

even touch her, and why does even thinking about her give me physical

symptoms of anxiety?

Thank you for letting me join.

Minja >>

[Guest guest]

Minja,

Welcome to this group. I think you and I have the same family. :-) I also

have two brothers totally in denial (and one of them is VERY screwed up).

I went through the same kind of phone calls from my mother, very abusive,

followed by months of being ignored, etc. I ended up doing what you've done,

I just cut myself off from my mother. I did feel guilt for a while, but

after I noticed how well I was doing it eased up a bit, and I think it just

happened in a time in my life when I was able to handle it better, if that

makes sense.

You are not a monster. You're a survivor, and in my opinion you should

congratulate yourself on surviving something so horrible inflicted on you by

your mother. Reading SWOE was a good start.

The best thing I ever did was to start trusting myself and my beliefs and my

perception. Children are not responsible for their parents. You are doing

what is right for you, and you should trust in that. I had to cut myself off

so completely that I refused mail, calls, and even to open the door a few

times when my mother came to my house insisting I let her in. You are under

no obligation to let this woman into your life if that's what you want.

Years after establishing strict, unbending boundaries with my own mother, we

do have a relationship, one on MY terms. If she gets close to crossing the

line, I make it very clear to her what her choices are. At first she'd get

mad and I wouldn't see her for a long time. But I think as she began to

realize that I meant it and I'd be just fine without her in my life, she

adjusted. I won't say she respects my boundaries, but she knows they are

there, and she knows the consequences if she crosses them. Not all BPD

mothers may be capable of doing this. Mine is fairly high functioning.

Please don't beat yourself up for doing what you feel is right. It's your

choice, it's your life, and you deserve to be happy and to feel good. We all

do.

Take care,

<< Hi everyone

I'm new here, alhtough I've been on the nonbp-christian for a couple

of days as well. I don't know if anyone here read my long intro I sent

there. In brief, I'm 42, female and South African. This weekend I finished

reading " Walking on Egshells " and it made me sit up because I recognised my

mom in there. I thought for a while that she is bipolar, but it looks like

she may be BPD as well. Problem is, there is no way she would consult an

expert, and I'm basically ignorant about these things.

The two of us have had a bad relationship for as long as I can

remember, and it has ended in complete alienation.

The turning point in my life came almost 2 years ago when I realised

that my mom makes all those accusations because she believes them, not just

to hurt me and my dad. We've both had distortion campaigns against us. (My

parents divorced about 20 years ago). It looks like she is still slandering

me - unless I've become paranoid myself.

Anyway, since then, I haven't visited her, but my mind is very, very

troubled about it. I feel guilty and worried about her wellbeing. She is not

capable of making sensible choices about her future. On the other hand, I

can't even consider phoning her without getting panicky. A conversation wtih

her becomes a list of my " sins " and then a heated argument and usually ends

with her slamming the phone down in my ear. And then months of being

ignored. But after the last visit, I changed my phone number.

I have 2 brothers who see her as just eccentric and arty, and when I

tell them how she slanders, manipulates and lies to me, they don't believe

me. Is this possible? Is the problem in my head?

My older brother has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My mom's

many behaviours are a blend of bipolar and BPD (in my humble opinion). Her

delusions - that I'm a monster who has destroyed her life, makes her suffer,

beats her up, plots against her, neglects her etc - are persistent. Years

ago, my dad was the monster. He has no resentment and has moved on.

I feel like I can only move on if I cut her out of my life

completely, but I know that my conscience will make me suffer. How can a

person dislike her own mother so much? Am I a monster after all? Why can't I

even touch her, and why does even thinking about her give me physical

symptoms of anxiety?

Thank you for letting me join.

Minja >>

[Guest guest]

Minja,

Welcome to this group. I think you and I have the same family. :-) I also

have two brothers totally in denial (and one of them is VERY screwed up).

I went through the same kind of phone calls from my mother, very abusive,

followed by months of being ignored, etc. I ended up doing what you've done,

I just cut myself off from my mother. I did feel guilt for a while, but

after I noticed how well I was doing it eased up a bit, and I think it just

happened in a time in my life when I was able to handle it better, if that

makes sense.

You are not a monster. You're a survivor, and in my opinion you should

congratulate yourself on surviving something so horrible inflicted on you by

your mother. Reading SWOE was a good start.

The best thing I ever did was to start trusting myself and my beliefs and my

perception. Children are not responsible for their parents. You are doing

what is right for you, and you should trust in that. I had to cut myself off

so completely that I refused mail, calls, and even to open the door a few

times when my mother came to my house insisting I let her in. You are under

no obligation to let this woman into your life if that's what you want.

Years after establishing strict, unbending boundaries with my own mother, we

do have a relationship, one on MY terms. If she gets close to crossing the

line, I make it very clear to her what her choices are. At first she'd get

mad and I wouldn't see her for a long time. But I think as she began to

realize that I meant it and I'd be just fine without her in my life, she

adjusted. I won't say she respects my boundaries, but she knows they are

there, and she knows the consequences if she crosses them. Not all BPD

mothers may be capable of doing this. Mine is fairly high functioning.

Please don't beat yourself up for doing what you feel is right. It's your

choice, it's your life, and you deserve to be happy and to feel good. We all

do.

Take care,

<< Hi everyone

I'm new here, alhtough I've been on the nonbp-christian for a couple

of days as well. I don't know if anyone here read my long intro I sent

there. In brief, I'm 42, female and South African. This weekend I finished

reading " Walking on Egshells " and it made me sit up because I recognised my

mom in there. I thought for a while that she is bipolar, but it looks like

she may be BPD as well. Problem is, there is no way she would consult an

expert, and I'm basically ignorant about these things.

The two of us have had a bad relationship for as long as I can

remember, and it has ended in complete alienation.

The turning point in my life came almost 2 years ago when I realised

that my mom makes all those accusations because she believes them, not just

to hurt me and my dad. We've both had distortion campaigns against us. (My

parents divorced about 20 years ago). It looks like she is still slandering

me - unless I've become paranoid myself.

Anyway, since then, I haven't visited her, but my mind is very, very

troubled about it. I feel guilty and worried about her wellbeing. She is not

capable of making sensible choices about her future. On the other hand, I

can't even consider phoning her without getting panicky. A conversation wtih

her becomes a list of my " sins " and then a heated argument and usually ends

with her slamming the phone down in my ear. And then months of being

ignored. But after the last visit, I changed my phone number.

I have 2 brothers who see her as just eccentric and arty, and when I

tell them how she slanders, manipulates and lies to me, they don't believe

me. Is this possible? Is the problem in my head?

My older brother has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My mom's

many behaviours are a blend of bipolar and BPD (in my humble opinion). Her

delusions - that I'm a monster who has destroyed her life, makes her suffer,

beats her up, plots against her, neglects her etc - are persistent. Years

ago, my dad was the monster. He has no resentment and has moved on.

I feel like I can only move on if I cut her out of my life

completely, but I know that my conscience will make me suffer. How can a

person dislike her own mother so much? Am I a monster after all? Why can't I

even touch her, and why does even thinking about her give me physical

symptoms of anxiety?

Thank you for letting me join.

Minja >>

[Guest guest]

Hi

Thanks for your reply. I've never before thought of getting a message across

to my nada by avoiding her, but it's worth a try. Nothing else has worked so

far. And I do need a very, very long break from the accusations.

I've also in the past refused to let my nada in when she paid a surprise

visit. I was as terrified as a little lamb when the wolf is at the door. I

thought I was being very unnatural, but didn't know a thing about BPD then.

How amazing that I'm now meeting so many people with almost exactly the same

experiences!

Thanks for understanding.

Take care

Minja

> Re: Hello

>

> Minja,

>

> Welcome to this group. I think you and I have the same family. :-) I

> also

> have two brothers totally in denial (and one of them is VERY screwed up).

>

> I went through the same kind of phone calls from my mother, very abusive,

> followed by months of being ignored, etc. I ended up doing what you've

> done,

> I just cut myself off from my mother. I did feel guilt for a while, but

> after I noticed how well I was doing it eased up a bit, and I think it

> just

> happened in a time in my life when I was able to handle it better, if that

>

> makes sense.

>

> You are not a monster. You're a survivor, and in my opinion you should

> congratulate yourself on surviving something so horrible inflicted on you

> by

> your mother. Reading SWOE was a good start.

>

> The best thing I ever did was to start trusting myself and my beliefs and

> my

> perception. Children are not responsible for their parents. You are

> doing

> what is right for you, and you should trust in that. I had to cut myself

> off

> so completely that I refused mail, calls, and even to open the door a few

> times when my mother came to my house insisting I let her in. You are

> under

> no obligation to let this woman into your life if that's what you want.

>

> Years after establishing strict, unbending boundaries with my own mother,

> we

> do have a relationship, one on MY terms. If she gets close to crossing

> the

> line, I make it very clear to her what her choices are. At first she'd

> get

> mad and I wouldn't see her for a long time. But I think as she began to

> realize that I meant it and I'd be just fine without her in my life, she

> adjusted. I won't say she respects my boundaries, but she knows they are

> there, and she knows the consequences if she crosses them. Not all BPD

> mothers may be capable of doing this. Mine is fairly high functioning.

>

> Please don't beat yourself up for doing what you feel is right. It's

> your

> choice, it's your life, and you deserve to be happy and to feel good. We

> all

> do.

>

> Take care,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

Thanks for your reply. I've never before thought of getting a message across

to my nada by avoiding her, but it's worth a try. Nothing else has worked so

far. And I do need a very, very long break from the accusations.

I've also in the past refused to let my nada in when she paid a surprise

visit. I was as terrified as a little lamb when the wolf is at the door. I

thought I was being very unnatural, but didn't know a thing about BPD then.

How amazing that I'm now meeting so many people with almost exactly the same

experiences!

Thanks for understanding.

Take care

Minja

> Re: Hello

>

> Minja,

>

> Welcome to this group. I think you and I have the same family. :-) I

> also

> have two brothers totally in denial (and one of them is VERY screwed up).

>

> I went through the same kind of phone calls from my mother, very abusive,

> followed by months of being ignored, etc. I ended up doing what you've

> done,

> I just cut myself off from my mother. I did feel guilt for a while, but

> after I noticed how well I was doing it eased up a bit, and I think it

> just

> happened in a time in my life when I was able to handle it better, if that

>

> makes sense.

>

> You are not a monster. You're a survivor, and in my opinion you should

> congratulate yourself on surviving something so horrible inflicted on you

> by

> your mother. Reading SWOE was a good start.

>

> The best thing I ever did was to start trusting myself and my beliefs and

> my

> perception. Children are not responsible for their parents. You are

> doing

> what is right for you, and you should trust in that. I had to cut myself

> off

> so completely that I refused mail, calls, and even to open the door a few

> times when my mother came to my house insisting I let her in. You are

> under

> no obligation to let this woman into your life if that's what you want.

>

> Years after establishing strict, unbending boundaries with my own mother,

> we

> do have a relationship, one on MY terms. If she gets close to crossing

> the

> line, I make it very clear to her what her choices are. At first she'd

> get

> mad and I wouldn't see her for a long time. But I think as she began to

> realize that I meant it and I'd be just fine without her in my life, she

> adjusted. I won't say she respects my boundaries, but she knows they are

> there, and she knows the consequences if she crosses them. Not all BPD

> mothers may be capable of doing this. Mine is fairly high functioning.

>

> Please don't beat yourself up for doing what you feel is right. It's

> your

> choice, it's your life, and you deserve to be happy and to feel good. We

> all

> do.

>

> Take care,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

Thanks for your reply. I've never before thought of getting a message across

to my nada by avoiding her, but it's worth a try. Nothing else has worked so

far. And I do need a very, very long break from the accusations.

I've also in the past refused to let my nada in when she paid a surprise

visit. I was as terrified as a little lamb when the wolf is at the door. I

thought I was being very unnatural, but didn't know a thing about BPD then.

How amazing that I'm now meeting so many people with almost exactly the same

experiences!

Thanks for understanding.

Take care

Minja

> Re: Hello

>

> Minja,

>

> Welcome to this group. I think you and I have the same family. :-) I

> also

> have two brothers totally in denial (and one of them is VERY screwed up).

>

> I went through the same kind of phone calls from my mother, very abusive,

> followed by months of being ignored, etc. I ended up doing what you've

> done,

> I just cut myself off from my mother. I did feel guilt for a while, but

> after I noticed how well I was doing it eased up a bit, and I think it

> just

> happened in a time in my life when I was able to handle it better, if that

>

> makes sense.

>

> You are not a monster. You're a survivor, and in my opinion you should

> congratulate yourself on surviving something so horrible inflicted on you

> by

> your mother. Reading SWOE was a good start.

>

> The best thing I ever did was to start trusting myself and my beliefs and

> my

> perception. Children are not responsible for their parents. You are

> doing

> what is right for you, and you should trust in that. I had to cut myself

> off

> so completely that I refused mail, calls, and even to open the door a few

> times when my mother came to my house insisting I let her in. You are

> under

> no obligation to let this woman into your life if that's what you want.

>

> Years after establishing strict, unbending boundaries with my own mother,

> we

> do have a relationship, one on MY terms. If she gets close to crossing

> the

> line, I make it very clear to her what her choices are. At first she'd

> get

> mad and I wouldn't see her for a long time. But I think as she began to

> realize that I meant it and I'd be just fine without her in my life, she

> adjusted. I won't say she respects my boundaries, but she knows they are

> there, and she knows the consequences if she crosses them. Not all BPD

> mothers may be capable of doing this. Mine is fairly high functioning.

>

> Please don't beat yourself up for doing what you feel is right. It's

> your

> choice, it's your life, and you deserve to be happy and to feel good. We

> all

> do.

>

> Take care,

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/24/01 8:43:53 AM Central Daylight Time,

minjas@... writes:

<< How can a

person dislike her own mother so much? >>

I'm 45. I'm an only child, (a daughter) When I was 13, I told my mother, I

love you but I don't like you very much. She of course flew into a rage but

in retrospect I think those words were very insightful. It's 32 years later

and I still feel the same way. If I could walk away I would but my Dad has

been dead 18 years and she is in a nursing home, in a wheelchair and on

oxygen so she doesn't have anyone but me to take her to the doctor etc. It

doesn't make it any easier when she still says things like, you put me here

to die, you don't love me, after all I've done for you, etc. I just don't

think I can walk away. If I had a solution I'd take it myself. Just know

that it is possible to dislike your mother intensely.

" It's never too late to have a happy childhood "

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/24/01 8:43:53 AM Central Daylight Time,

minjas@... writes:

<< How can a

person dislike her own mother so much? >>

I'm 45. I'm an only child, (a daughter) When I was 13, I told my mother, I

love you but I don't like you very much. She of course flew into a rage but

in retrospect I think those words were very insightful. It's 32 years later

and I still feel the same way. If I could walk away I would but my Dad has

been dead 18 years and she is in a nursing home, in a wheelchair and on

oxygen so she doesn't have anyone but me to take her to the doctor etc. It

doesn't make it any easier when she still says things like, you put me here

to die, you don't love me, after all I've done for you, etc. I just don't

think I can walk away. If I had a solution I'd take it myself. Just know

that it is possible to dislike your mother intensely.

" It's never too late to have a happy childhood "

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/24/01 8:43:53 AM Central Daylight Time,

minjas@... writes:

<< How can a

person dislike her own mother so much? >>

I'm 45. I'm an only child, (a daughter) When I was 13, I told my mother, I

love you but I don't like you very much. She of course flew into a rage but

in retrospect I think those words were very insightful. It's 32 years later

and I still feel the same way. If I could walk away I would but my Dad has

been dead 18 years and she is in a nursing home, in a wheelchair and on

oxygen so she doesn't have anyone but me to take her to the doctor etc. It

doesn't make it any easier when she still says things like, you put me here

to die, you don't love me, after all I've done for you, etc. I just don't

think I can walk away. If I had a solution I'd take it myself. Just know

that it is possible to dislike your mother intensely.

" It's never too late to have a happy childhood "

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this posting. In a life/death situation I found it

impossible to walk away from my parents' mental illnesses and live with

myself. I feared this anger/guilt would " spill over " into other relationships.

I was blamed for my mother's terminally illness but I didn't accept it &

continued to write them to please seek counsel. They did- once- but

nevertheless this therapy session brought me back into their lives. I

admire your compassion yet recognition of the injustices done while caring

for your mother. I expect the " end of life " for my mother may wind up

being as chaotic as her disorder, but I hope to try to make things a little

easier. Right now she says she is happy to have my love. I have no

expectations from her & at this point have found forgiveness- not

forgetting- the easiest path to my inner peace.

Thanks for the validation it's OK to love but not like one's parents. This

is exactly where I remain.

Ellen

>In a message dated 10/24/01 8:43:53 AM Central Daylight Time,

>minjas@... writes:

>

><< How can a

> person dislike her own mother so much? >>

>I'm 45. I'm an only child, (a daughter) When I was 13, I told my mother, I

>love you but I don't like you very much. She of course flew into a rage but

>in retrospect I think those words were very insightful. It's 32 years later

>and I still feel the same way. If I could walk away I would but my Dad has

>been dead 18 years and she is in a nursing home, in a wheelchair and on

>oxygen so she doesn't have anyone but me to take her to the doctor etc. It

>doesn't make it any easier when she still says things like, you put me here

>to die, you don't love me, after all I've done for you, etc. I just don't

>think I can walk away. If I had a solution I'd take it myself. Just know

>that it is possible to dislike your mother intensely.

>

> " It's never too late to have a happy childhood "

>

>

>To get off the list, send a blank message to

ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to

ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for

non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of

contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Ruth,

Baby , too, has good days when he sits up real

well and other days where he kind of slouches over and

won't or can't sit up. Some days (usually after

therapy) he can use his arms and hands real well and

other days it's as if they are foreign to him. Hang in

there. Be consistent. I know that baby knows he is

well loves. Love can do a lot.

in Houston

--- angelbaby391802 wrote:

> I really learn by reading all the e-mails. I am

> great-grandma to

> baby angel . I hope that everyone had a great

> forth. We ate

> too much as usual. was with us. No

> seizures yet. He has

> some test next week. Upper GI and a swallow test.

> I think that he

> is having a lot of reflux. He has been spitting up

> more that usual.

> He is 4 months old. He has a lot of strength in his

> legs. Some days

> he can hold his head up really well and then other

> days he has a

> problem. He has physical therpy 2 times a week.

> God bless you all.

> Ruth

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Ruth,

Baby , too, has good days when he sits up real

well and other days where he kind of slouches over and

won't or can't sit up. Some days (usually after

therapy) he can use his arms and hands real well and

other days it's as if they are foreign to him. Hang in

there. Be consistent. I know that baby knows he is

well loves. Love can do a lot.

in Houston

--- angelbaby391802 wrote:

> I really learn by reading all the e-mails. I am

> great-grandma to

> baby angel . I hope that everyone had a great

> forth. We ate

> too much as usual. was with us. No

> seizures yet. He has

> some test next week. Upper GI and a swallow test.

> I think that he

> is having a lot of reflux. He has been spitting up

> more that usual.

> He is 4 months old. He has a lot of strength in his

> legs. Some days

> he can hold his head up really well and then other

> days he has a

> problem. He has physical therpy 2 times a week.

> God bless you all.

> Ruth

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Robin,

Good Morning! and welcome to the group!

Living on an island sounds absolutely lovely - you'll have to let us know all

about it!

I think we all have people in our lives (sometimes our children) that we love

but they cause us so much stress. I have a hard time knowing what to do

about my feelings about these people. I have a 20 yr. old son that I love very

much, but everytime the phone rings and I can tell from the caller ID that its

him, my stomach starts churning, my heart goes up in my throat, I almost don't

answer, then give in and answer the phone. And its the same thing every time.

I have to let most of what he says go in one ear and out the other or I'd go

absolutely crazy!! So this morning I've tried to think of some positive

things about him. Well....he's very tender hearted towards those less fortunate

than him. Gosh - thats all I can think of! Will have to work on this one.

I hope you have a great day on the island (I'm jealous!!)

Hugs,

Co-Moderator

In a message dated 12/28/03 9:03:42 AM Central Standard Time,

islandgirl62@... writes:

> I just wanted to say hello to everyone and thank you for letting me

> join. I have just read several of your messages and I hope to

> contribute to the group some positive messages as well. I grew up

> with very negative parents and a very controlling mother. She still

> can push the wrong buttons even today. I want to learn to not let

> that bother me. I have two children 18 and 20. I love them both

> dearly. The 18 year old is bulemic and refuses help. The 20 year

> old likes smoking weed. They currently live in my trailer off island

> that I am trying to sell. They want no rules and do not want to live

> with us anymore. The 20 year old has lived on the street before and

> I think that is why I still let her live at the house. Even though

> she has ruined a few appliances. We have given her a date in the

> near future when she has been asked to move out. And this is where I

> feel that I mirror my mother because as you have probably just read I

> couldn't say a positive thing about either one of these two. I want

> to be able to do that and I try to do that but these are two issues

> that cause me stress because I want to take care of them still and

> they won't allow me too and at the same time I know they are both

> young adults.

>

> I am feel glad and blessed to live on an island because Martha's

> Vineyard does give me some space. I chose this after getting married

> a second time and my husband works over here and has for the past 8

> years.

>

> I have high blood pressure and I also have anxiety. Both are very

> under control right now its the stress that can go up and down

> because I tend to worry more than I need to. I need to learn to let

> go of a lot of issues and put my past to rest. I have recently been

> very sick with pneumonia and I am now back at work. I was on a

> ventilator and in a drug induced coma for 9 days and a total of 26

> days in the hospital and rehab. I am feeling better but I am still

> very tired at times. It has given me a new lease on life but I still

> carry bad habits and negative thoughts and I want to learn to tools

> to cope with all better.

>

> Well off to housework. I will be back. I will welcome any

> suggestions, comments anything.

>

> Robin

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Robin to Affirmations!! First off, let me say that the age of

your kids is sometimes a very difficult age to deal with -- parent to child, and

child to parent. My oldest 2 kids are now 21 and 23, and I remember some really

rocky times we went through back then. I'm happy to say that it does get better

with time, or at least I've been lucky in that way. My youngest child is 12 yrs.

old, and so I have so much fun to look forward to!!

I'm like you in that I have always wanted to live on an island -- my

whole life. The closest thing to me where I live would be Galveston Island, TX.

My hubby and I have dreamed for many, many years of going to live down there.

Of course, the taxes are very high, there is a lot of crime, etc. So we keep

putting it off.

So many people in this group have come from such similar backgrounds

as you described, so I imagine you will feel quite comfortable here. I imagine

we have some people out of town or on vacation, but when everyone gets back,

things should be hopping again. Let us know if there is anything we can do to

help. Hugs, PJ

robintgy wrote:

I just wanted to say hello to everyone and thank you for letting me

join. I have just read several of your messages and I hope to

contribute to the group some positive messages as well. I grew up

with very negative parents and a very controlling mother. She still

can push the wrong buttons even today. I want to learn to not let

that bother me. I have two children 18 and 20. I love them both

dearly. The 18 year old is bulemic and refuses help. The 20 year

old likes smoking weed. They currently live in my trailer off island

that I am trying to sell. They want no rules and do not want to live

with us anymore. The 20 year old has lived on the street before and

I think that is why I still let her live at the house. Even though

she has ruined a few appliances. We have given her a date in the

near future when she has been asked to move out. And this is where I

feel that I mirror my mother because as you have probably just read I

couldn't say a positive thing about either one of these two. I want

to be able to do that and I try to do that but these are two issues

that cause me stress because I want to take care of them still and

they won't allow me too and at the same time I know they are both

young adults.

I am feel glad and blessed to live on an island because Martha's

Vineyard does give me some space. I chose this after getting married

a second time and my husband works over here and has for the past 8

years.

I have high blood pressure and I also have anxiety. Both are very

under control right now its the stress that can go up and down

because I tend to worry more than I need to. I need to learn to let

go of a lot of issues and put my past to rest. I have recently been

very sick with pneumonia and I am now back at work. I was on a

ventilator and in a drug induced coma for 9 days and a total of 26

days in the hospital and rehab. I am feeling better but I am still

very tired at times. It has given me a new lease on life but I still

carry bad habits and negative thoughts and I want to learn to tools

to cope with all better.

Well off to housework. I will be back. I will welcome any

suggestions, comments anything.

Robin

[Guest guest]

Are you taking anything to manage your allergies? I have found that

taking my Claritin and Flonase to reduce inflammation in my nose in

conjunction with my asthma medications helps. As for colds, that's

harder. I find prevention is key. I wash my hands a lot and try not

to get sick. Take vitamin C and make sure you get enough Vitamin A to

help you with your immune system. I also heard that Zinc is good once

you have a cold along with C. I use to get bronchitis too because I

was having a hard time controlling my asthma in the winter. I found

that getting on top of my asthma and staying on top of it during the

mild times made the moderate times more manageable. I know what you

mean by the jitteriness. I get that sometimes with the Serevent, but

it went away as my body got used to the medication. I hope this helps.

Angie

> hello I just joined I have asthma that kicks in during allergy

season

> and when I get colds. I get bronchitas very badly. I use a ventalin

> inhalor and flovent inhaler. I am very sensitive to the stimulent

> effects of the ventalin and those typ of meds. Is there anything I

> can take during allergy season and colds that doesn't have the

> jittery stimulent effcts that will help my ashthma symptoms I am

not

> crazy about steroids either. thanks.

>

> on another note... please join my group

>

> if your a woman and have suffered abuse or mental illness or if

your

> just suffering and looking for help. Thank you.

>

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/women_ministering_women/

[Guest guest]

I'll be glad when my body gets use to my medicine too.

HUGS!!!

PRECIOUS MARIE

KISS ME I'M IRISH!

mother of Tomas-spinal bifida, hydrophaleus, sciolosis,

right ear deafness, epilepsy (Tonic-clonic, absence, complex partial,

simple partial, atonic, myoclonic), left-field blindness, tethered cord,

allergies, ezema, lazy eye, developmentally delayed

Anastasia-ezema, allergies, nosebleeds

-mild mental disability(MMD),ezema, allergies, asthma

[Guest guest]

Dear Sunil,

Welcome back to our great old institute, known as MGIMS.

However, I hope that you called us 'old' friends in the sense of previous,

because, here no one is old! We are all young, college going, nanhe nanhe

baalak enjoying our college days once again.

In the college days, we used to keep yearning for that elusive vacation date

to run away from MGIMS. However, here we log in everyday just to get that

MGIMS feel once again. Waqt waqt ki baat hai.

Some things, however, remain the same, I mean besides my juvenile humour.

For example, we still fight tooth and nail over earth shattering topics like

which Vadas are tastier. We still prick our ears for the latest gossip on

who has who for company, but we usually end it with " Who? Who? " because with

age we can hardly remember the first who, forget the who is with who part.

In fact, pricking the ears reminds me ..... but let it be. Those things are

also gradually fading.

So, Sunil, we are all looking forward to hearing some more old things anew.

If you want to check out old messages, you can do so at our group web

site( http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/mgims ), which also contains a

few photos of our members, reunions, and even photos of your friend's car.

You can also upload your photo, so we can comment on how bald and pot

bellied (if it is a full photo) you have become. Or if we are in a good

mood, we might just lie and say " Ohmigosh! You haven't changed a bit! " You

could also upload Aishwarya's photo and pass it as your wife's photo (only

if your wife is not looking). Then all us jealous cads will say obliquely,

" Isn't it strange how all the bald guys get all the beauties? " Yes! Just

like it was back in college.

Go ahead and take the plunge. You are welcome to join any and all

discussions, provided, of course, that you do not pass any personal

comments. So you can say " Quite a few people do share your point of view.

However, they are mostly in asylums! " However, you can not say, " What an

idiot you are! " (Even if it is true.)

Welcome once again. I hope you remember me, because I remember you, despite

my Alzheimer's. That and my old age are a standing joke. On second thoughts,

please remove the word " standing " .

Kishore Shah 1974

Hello

>

>

> Joining the great group 'MGIMS'. Looking forward to be in touch with old &

> new friends.

> Sunil Jain (1979)

[Guest guest]

welcome. Malini (82)

With regards

L / M Prasad

lp1960@...

<file://D:\Documents and Settings\lakshmi prasad\Application

Data\Microsoft\Stationery\../../../My Documents/My

Pictures/GIFS/greatday/doggrtday.gif>

Wish you a very happy day

Hello

Joining the great group 'MGIMS'. Looking forward to be in touch with old

& new friends.

Sunil Jain (1979)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

welcome. Malini (82)

With regards

L / M Prasad

lp1960@...

<file://D:\Documents and Settings\lakshmi prasad\Application

Data\Microsoft\Stationery\../../../My Documents/My

Pictures/GIFS/greatday/doggrtday.gif>

Wish you a very happy day

Hello

Joining the great group 'MGIMS'. Looking forward to be in touch with old

& new friends.

Sunil Jain (1979)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Welcome Sunil Jain to MGIMS Family. Difficult to remember Sunil Jain of 1979

Batch.

Hello

I am a new member to this group. I am working in St Louis university

as a neonatologist & my wife is perinatologist (yes, she creats the

problem & I fix it. Just kidding). We have two boys, Aman & Akshay.

I am looking forward to knowing other people from MGIMS. Please,

contact me @ .

Sunil Jain (1979)

------------------------------

Website: www.mgims.org

------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Welcome Sunil Jain to MGIMS Family. Difficult to remember Sunil Jain of 1979

Batch.

Hello

I am a new member to this group. I am working in St Louis university

as a neonatologist & my wife is perinatologist (yes, she creats the

problem & I fix it. Just kidding). We have two boys, Aman & Akshay.

I am looking forward to knowing other people from MGIMS. Please,

contact me @ .

Sunil Jain (1979)

------------------------------

Website: www.mgims.org

------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Yes,Kishoreda,very rightly said.

We r still Nanhe baalak enjoying our college days again.

The joy I show on my chehra,whenever,I see a MGIMS mail,is quite evident to my

nurses or patients,wherever I maybe,when I open the mailbox,and I am thankful to

this

wonderful group,for bringing out the happier part of us.

Welcome,Dr.Sunil and Dr.Balaji Ganesh.We hope u enjoy the excellent company of

all ur friends and juniors in this group,who will give u the very best opinion

on a wide

range of topics,ranging from VADAS,to movies,besides MEDICINE,fair, balanced and

FREE

Thanx for the telephone numbers of Vittal Rao.

Ravin's stat dialogue about him,kept growing and now,I too have started

associating Vittal,with " Bahut kirr......

Ashok,don't sulk,like ur patients(like nanhe bacche),just b'cos,the US alumini

didn't click,b'cos since then, u have really gone down by a hundred less emails

per month on this site.

Shyam(84)

Hello

>

>

> Joining the great group 'MGIMS'. Looking forward to be in touch with old &

> new friends.

> Sunil Jain (1979)

------------------------------

Website: www.mgims.org

------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Yes,Kishoreda,very rightly said.

We r still Nanhe baalak enjoying our college days again.

The joy I show on my chehra,whenever,I see a MGIMS mail,is quite evident to my

nurses or patients,wherever I maybe,when I open the mailbox,and I am thankful to

this

wonderful group,for bringing out the happier part of us.

Welcome,Dr.Sunil and Dr.Balaji Ganesh.We hope u enjoy the excellent company of

all ur friends and juniors in this group,who will give u the very best opinion

on a wide

range of topics,ranging from VADAS,to movies,besides MEDICINE,fair, balanced and

FREE

Thanx for the telephone numbers of Vittal Rao.

Ravin's stat dialogue about him,kept growing and now,I too have started

associating Vittal,with " Bahut kirr......

Ashok,don't sulk,like ur patients(like nanhe bacche),just b'cos,the US alumini

didn't click,b'cos since then, u have really gone down by a hundred less emails

per month on this site.

Shyam(84)

Hello

>

>

> Joining the great group 'MGIMS'. Looking forward to be in touch with old &

> new friends.

> Sunil Jain (1979)

------------------------------

Website: www.mgims.org

------------------------------