Re: Are you more comfortable...

[Guest guest]

>Beth wrote:

>You sound like you work at a renasance faire

Yes Beth, you're right! For thirty six years! At the original, the

first one in several hundred years. See my 'links' in the forum data.

>I actually feel almost normal there.

Yes, for me also! My 'craft' is treen, the fabrication of small, useful

objects of wood. I carry on a family tradition, my ancestors being

woodworkers, using my grandfather's tools.

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

>Beth wrote:

>You sound like you work at a renasance faire

Yes Beth, you're right! For thirty six years! At the original, the

first one in several hundred years. See my 'links' in the forum data.

>I actually feel almost normal there.

Yes, for me also! My 'craft' is treen, the fabrication of small, useful

objects of wood. I carry on a family tradition, my ancestors being

woodworkers, using my grandfather's tools.

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

I certainly have experienced discomfort in social gatherings, both

where I do and do not know people. It's somewhat as if I'm from Mars

and they're from Venus. Oh, well.

For me the most important challenge is self-acceptance. If I can do

that, then it doesn't matter how people react to me or what are the

consequences. Experience has shown me that one way or another,

everything will be alright as long I don't despair too much.

I like what they used to say in Los Angeles (known by some as LA or El

Lay), " F--- 'em if they can't take a joke. "

Ken

> > Just wanted to add - I generally get to know people over time in RL

> > and parties are generally for me not the right environment for me to

> > do this.

>

> I should probably have specified that many of the people who will be at

> the party are people I see often, as they are my boyfriend's close

> friends. But I rarely see them outside of 'safe' situations, like

> everyone gathered around watching the Super Bowl. This will just be

> people talking with no other stimuli. Even though I know them somewhat,

> I still don't know what to say to them. Also, despite my inner wish to

> disclose the truth about myself, I am also afraid of being exposed.

> Confusing! I guess I just want to be in control of the situation.

>

> > Of course there are always exceptions - one person I had met only a

> > few times managed to see right through me. When she confessed her

> > opinion of me she said she thought I was an Aspie trying to be NT -

> > she is however quite an insightful friend and sees more than most :-)

>

> That is very insightful! No one I know even knows what AS is.

>

> Kitty

>

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I certainly have experienced discomfort in social gatherings, both

where I do and do not know people. It's somewhat as if I'm from Mars

and they're from Venus. Oh, well.

For me the most important challenge is self-acceptance. If I can do

that, then it doesn't matter how people react to me or what are the

consequences. Experience has shown me that one way or another,

everything will be alright as long I don't despair too much.

I like what they used to say in Los Angeles (known by some as LA or El

Lay), " F--- 'em if they can't take a joke. "

Ken

> > Just wanted to add - I generally get to know people over time in RL

> > and parties are generally for me not the right environment for me to

> > do this.

>

> I should probably have specified that many of the people who will be at

> the party are people I see often, as they are my boyfriend's close

> friends. But I rarely see them outside of 'safe' situations, like

> everyone gathered around watching the Super Bowl. This will just be

> people talking with no other stimuli. Even though I know them somewhat,

> I still don't know what to say to them. Also, despite my inner wish to

> disclose the truth about myself, I am also afraid of being exposed.

> Confusing! I guess I just want to be in control of the situation.

>

> > Of course there are always exceptions - one person I had met only a

> > few times managed to see right through me. When she confessed her

> > opinion of me she said she thought I was an Aspie trying to be NT -

> > she is however quite an insightful friend and sees more than most :-)

>

> That is very insightful! No one I know even knows what AS is.

>

> Kitty

>

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I think it's fine to use a bit of misdirection by saying that you are

between jobs right now, taking some time to reconnoiter (or some such

thing). Really, the details are nobody's business unless you choose to

make it so.

Ken

> Yes. One thing I have learned is to not blurt things out at

> inappropriate times. Here's an example of a situation I don't know

> how to handle: when people ask me what I do. I don't work; I've never

> worked. So I just say I don't work, I don't say I'm on disability or

> anything, but they still look at me weird like I have a canary on my

> head or something. Anyone else have this problem? What do you say?

> >

>

> Kitty

>

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I think it's fine to use a bit of misdirection by saying that you are

between jobs right now, taking some time to reconnoiter (or some such

thing). Really, the details are nobody's business unless you choose to

make it so.

Ken

> Yes. One thing I have learned is to not blurt things out at

> inappropriate times. Here's an example of a situation I don't know

> how to handle: when people ask me what I do. I don't work; I've never

> worked. So I just say I don't work, I don't say I'm on disability or

> anything, but they still look at me weird like I have a canary on my

> head or something. Anyone else have this problem? What do you say?

> >

>

> Kitty

>

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

It is also very difficult to make a profession out of one's interests. For instance, I've been listening for distant radio and watching for distant television signals since I was in high school, and I wanted to parlay that hobby into a career in commercial radio as a way to serve the local community. It took me eleven years from the time I started college until I was finally able to get a commercial radio job (although it was a very part-time job). I was able to get a better job within a year of getting hired; unfortunately, I couldn't get another commercial broadcast job after the last commercial station I worked at was sold six years ago. Unfortunately, that industry's deregulation had reared its head by that time; I was one of 13,000 radio professionals who lost their jobs. I have had to encounter a lot of negative attitudes and bullying while I was looking for work; I finally had to give up seeking work in commercial broadcasting four years ago. Although I work in public radio today, the only way I can work in commercial radio is as an owner (which takes thousands, if not, millions of U.S. dollars to pull off).

I have been less comfortable in working in the private sector the last six years; it seems that people with AS have been most discriminated against in the private sector. I have never made more than $6.25 an hour in the private sector; I'm now making $7.10 per hour working in my present job (the station I work at is owned by the university I'm attending); I'm currently at work on a career change (having switched majors from Mass Communications specializing in radio and television to Geography with a specialty in Meteorology); I have even kept retiring in the back of my mind (since I'll be turning 40 in October 2006; I could also be at risk for age discrimination, in addition to discrimination on the basis of having AS). In America, hard work doesn't always pay off in bigger and better things; I learned that the hard way.

[Guest guest]

It is also very difficult to make a profession out of one's interests. For instance, I've been listening for distant radio and watching for distant television signals since I was in high school, and I wanted to parlay that hobby into a career in commercial radio as a way to serve the local community. It took me eleven years from the time I started college until I was finally able to get a commercial radio job (although it was a very part-time job). I was able to get a better job within a year of getting hired; unfortunately, I couldn't get another commercial broadcast job after the last commercial station I worked at was sold six years ago. Unfortunately, that industry's deregulation had reared its head by that time; I was one of 13,000 radio professionals who lost their jobs. I have had to encounter a lot of negative attitudes and bullying while I was looking for work; I finally had to give up seeking work in commercial broadcasting four years ago. Although I work in public radio today, the only way I can work in commercial radio is as an owner (which takes thousands, if not, millions of U.S. dollars to pull off).

I have been less comfortable in working in the private sector the last six years; it seems that people with AS have been most discriminated against in the private sector. I have never made more than $6.25 an hour in the private sector; I'm now making $7.10 per hour working in my present job (the station I work at is owned by the university I'm attending); I'm currently at work on a career change (having switched majors from Mass Communications specializing in radio and television to Geography with a specialty in Meteorology); I have even kept retiring in the back of my mind (since I'll be turning 40 in October 2006; I could also be at risk for age discrimination, in addition to discrimination on the basis of having AS). In America, hard work doesn't always pay off in bigger and better things; I learned that the hard way.

[Guest guest]

> wrote:

> " when people ask me what I do....

Anyone else have this problem? What do you say? "

,

What I was poorly explaining was that when I 'meet' people it is so

totally obvious 'what' I do that no one has ever asked. In my situation

I am ALWAYS the first to speak and so set the tone of EVERY

conversation, allowing ME to control exactly where the dialog goes.

This isn't really the answer to your question, but is a way AROUND it

that has worked successfully for me. I have been called rude, blunt,

angry, uncaring, antogonistic, disrespectful..... by those who didn't

hear 'polite-isms'. They walk away. The rest become my customers!

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

> wrote:

> " when people ask me what I do....

Anyone else have this problem? What do you say? "

,

What I was poorly explaining was that when I 'meet' people it is so

totally obvious 'what' I do that no one has ever asked. In my situation

I am ALWAYS the first to speak and so set the tone of EVERY

conversation, allowing ME to control exactly where the dialog goes.

This isn't really the answer to your question, but is a way AROUND it

that has worked successfully for me. I have been called rude, blunt,

angry, uncaring, antogonistic, disrespectful..... by those who didn't

hear 'polite-isms'. They walk away. The rest become my customers!

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

> wrote:

> " when people ask me what I do....

Anyone else have this problem? What do you say? "

,

The times I actually 'meet' people I'm dressed in the garb of a

peasant merchant of England during the times of Her Divine Grace,

I. So, my next comment is: " You must be from the future! "

This allows lots of opportunity for creative dialog! For instance I

might reply that I do the best I can under the 'circumstances'.

Rainbow

,

My post is confusing because I transposed the last two thoughts! It

should read:

> " when people ask me what I do.... What do you say? "

I might reply that I do the best I can under the 'circumstances'. My

next comment is (about them): " You must be from the future! "

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

was clarifying that I had posed the original question, not she.

Your post was crystal clear!

Well I am off for the weekend, hope you all have a great one!

Kitty

>

> > " when people ask me what I do....

> Anyone else have this problem? What do you say? "

>

> ,

> What I was poorly explaining was that when I 'meet' people it

is so

> totally obvious 'what' I do that no one has ever asked. In my

situation

> I am ALWAYS the first to speak and so set the tone of EVERY

> conversation, allowing ME to control exactly where the dialog goes.

> This isn't really the answer to your question, but is a way AROUND it

> that has worked successfully for me. I have been called rude, blunt,

> angry, uncaring, antogonistic, disrespectful..... by those who didn't

> hear 'polite-isms'. They walk away. The rest become my customers!

> Rainbow

[Guest guest]

>Beth wrote:

> I can't seem to find it in our links

Try: http://profiles.yahoo.com/curveofcolors

Here's the current link to the Faire you went to:

http://www.renfair.com/socal/

We may well have 'met'! I participated here from 1971 until last year.

Here's the current link to my 'home' Faire:

http://www.norcalrenfaire.org/?

page=home & renfaire=e57cd93833e504206fbf45cd949b5851

I have been here since 1969! This is the first and only vendor owned

and operated Faire, making me part owner as well as active participant.

Here's the link to my 'hometown' Faire: http://www.forestfaire.com/

>I would love to learn to card, spin,

and dye my own yarn, but most of the classes are to far from me.

Beth,

I have friends that are actively doing and teaching these things.

Would you like further information? I would be most happy to assist

you. When 'civilization' crashes shortly, only those with the 'ancient'

knowledge/skills will be able to survive comfortably..

> Its fantastick you've been able to make a profession out of your

interests.

Yes, and only NOW I know that it has been because I've been an 'aspie'

all this time!

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

>Kitty wrote:

>I received an award for singing. It's still an

accomplishment I'm proud of. Looking back, I wish I'd been able to

parlay it into a career in music.

Kitty,

I promise you, you still can! It's NEVER to late to do what you love!

First: Dream

Second: Wish

Third: Want

Fourth: Need

Last: Do. Notice anything? Congratulations! Why, you're there!

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

>Kitty wrote:

>I received an award for singing. It's still an

accomplishment I'm proud of. Looking back, I wish I'd been able to

parlay it into a career in music.

Kitty,

I promise you, you still can! It's NEVER to late to do what you love!

First: Dream

Second: Wish

Third: Want

Fourth: Need

Last: Do. Notice anything? Congratulations! Why, you're there!

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

> writes:

>It is also very difficult to make a profession out of one's interests.

,

One's interests are exactly what one is BEST at. Consider the

possibility that your EXPECTATIONS might be too high. If you are able

to express your interests you will become wealthy. Now that may not be

the wealth you are dreaming of - money. You will become wealthy in

satisfaction, self-esteem, self-worth, and a host of other 'selfs' that

will give you everything you dream of in due time.

>In America, hard work doesn't always pay off in bigger and better

things

In America, or anywhere, one receives their 'just' rewards. Bigger and

better are NOT the goals one should be looking for. Analyze what it is

that will make YOU happy. I believe that your very first sentence said:

" one's interests " Go with it! Go there!

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

> writes:

>It is also very difficult to make a profession out of one's interests.

,

One's interests are exactly what one is BEST at. Consider the

possibility that your EXPECTATIONS might be too high. If you are able

to express your interests you will become wealthy. Now that may not be

the wealth you are dreaming of - money. You will become wealthy in

satisfaction, self-esteem, self-worth, and a host of other 'selfs' that

will give you everything you dream of in due time.

>In America, hard work doesn't always pay off in bigger and better

things

In America, or anywhere, one receives their 'just' rewards. Bigger and

better are NOT the goals one should be looking for. Analyze what it is

that will make YOU happy. I believe that your very first sentence said:

" one's interests " Go with it! Go there!

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

Hi Rainbow,

I would love information, Im still looking for local classes, and I teach a crochet class. It's difficult for me to sell the items I make for a dececent wage, although I've been knitting socks for a diabetic friend who has to shovel snow in the winter, and these keep his feet nice and toasty, and help prevent neuropathy. I don't charge him for them, knowing Im helping him is payment enough for me.

BethRainbow wrote:

>Beth wrote:> I can't seem to find it in our linksTry: http://profiles.yahoo.com/curveofcolorsHere's the current link to the Faire you went to: http://www.renfair.com/socal/We may well have 'met'! I participated here from 1971 until last year.Here's the current link to my 'home' Faire: http://www.norcalrenfaire.org/? page=home & renfaire=e57cd93833e504206fbf45cd949b5851I have been here since 1969! This is the first and only vendor owned and operated Faire, making me part owner as well as active participant.Here's the link to my 'hometown' Faire: http://www.forestfaire.com/>I would love to learn to card, spin,and dye my own yarn, but most of the classes are to far from me.Beth,I have friends that are actively doing and teaching these things. Would you like further information? I would

be most happy to assist you. When 'civilization' crashes shortly, only those with the 'ancient' knowledge/skills will be able to survive comfortably..> Its fantastick you've been able to make a profession out of yourinterests.Yes, and only NOW I know that it has been because I've been an 'aspie' all this time!Rainbow__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

>Beth writes:

>I would love information, Im still looking for local classes, and I

teach a crochet class.

Give me a couple of days to consult with my 'better' half. I won't

forget.

>It's difficult for me to sell the items I make for a decent

wage......  I don't charge him for them, knowing I'm helping him is

payment enough for me.

Helping another is worth far more than you realize! As a small child I

remember watching my grandmother knit bandages for lepers all afternoon

each day. Maybe one or two a day. They were used once, of course, and

burned. It was not for money, but she knew she helped! Her reward was

in knowing she relieved the suffering of less fortunates. She never

bragged that her life was easy or that she had too much time to kill.

She 'got to it' doing a simple thing she was capable of. Shouldn't we

all be there?

Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying 'help' others for nothing. The more

you 'practice', the greater 'worth' your work will have. If you 'stick

to it' long enough you will be surprised at the demand your work will

create. I speak from experience.

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

>Beth writes:

>I would love information, Im still looking for local classes, and I

teach a crochet class.

Give me a couple of days to consult with my 'better' half. I won't

forget.

>It's difficult for me to sell the items I make for a decent

wage......  I don't charge him for them, knowing I'm helping him is

payment enough for me.

Helping another is worth far more than you realize! As a small child I

remember watching my grandmother knit bandages for lepers all afternoon

each day. Maybe one or two a day. They were used once, of course, and

burned. It was not for money, but she knew she helped! Her reward was

in knowing she relieved the suffering of less fortunates. She never

bragged that her life was easy or that she had too much time to kill.

She 'got to it' doing a simple thing she was capable of. Shouldn't we

all be there?

Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying 'help' others for nothing. The more

you 'practice', the greater 'worth' your work will have. If you 'stick

to it' long enough you will be surprised at the demand your work will

create. I speak from experience.

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

>Beth writes:

>I would love information, Im still looking for local classes, and I

teach a crochet class.

Give me a couple of days to consult with my 'better' half. I won't

forget.

>It's difficult for me to sell the items I make for a decent

wage......  I don't charge him for them, knowing I'm helping him is

payment enough for me.

Helping another is worth far more than you realize! As a small child I

remember watching my grandmother knit bandages for lepers all afternoon

each day. Maybe one or two a day. They were used once, of course, and

burned. It was not for money, but she knew she helped! Her reward was

in knowing she relieved the suffering of less fortunates. She never

bragged that her life was easy or that she had too much time to kill.

She 'got to it' doing a simple thing she was capable of. Shouldn't we

all be there?

Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying 'help' others for nothing. The more

you 'practice', the greater 'worth' your work will have. If you 'stick

to it' long enough you will be surprised at the demand your work will

create. I speak from experience.

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

> was clarifying that I had posed the original question, not she.

Your post was crystal clear!

>Well I am off for the weekend, hope you all have a great one!

>Kitty

Yea, yea, I know now that I mixed your names all up..... , forgive

me! Kitty, gottcha! These 'conversations' include sooo many people and

ideas, sometimes I get confused. I'll do my best to be more observant!

Rainbow

[Guest guest]

> Hi Rainbow,

>

I am also a yarn person. I like to knit and crochet. I dye some of

my own yarn. I have a spinning wheel which I use to ply strands of

yarn together. I have not spun yarn from fiber yet. I pretty much

taught myself everything from books. I actually learn better from

books than I do from classes. [school would have been so much

easier for me if they just put me alone in a quiet room with a big

stack of books.] I would like to one day do weaving as well.

I have told people that sometimes I think this modern world is a bit

much for me and I would be just so much better suited for life in

small mideiveal village or some other historic setting where life

was simpler. When I told my husband that he agreed with my

assement.

Ilah

> I can't seem to find it in our links, The first faire I went to

was

> in california, a couple of hours from hollywood, not sure exactly

> where a friend from ca drove and I was hooked. Then I started

> attending the ones here in lancaster. It's wonderful your put

your

> grandfathers tools to such good use and carry on the family

> traditions. I am a crafter also, but with yarn, I knit crochet,

> needlepoint and do embroidery. I would love to learn to card,

spin,

> and dye my own yarn, but most of the classes are to far from me.

I've

> even helped out sheering sheep.

>

> Its fantastick you've been able to make a profession out of your

> interests.

>

> Take care,

> Beth

[Guest guest]

yep correct and of course I forgive you. I just didn't want anyone

getting upset and plus I could never take the credit for what someone

else has written - that to me just seems not right. I make plenty of

mistakes myself.

> > was clarifying that I had posed the original question, not

she.

> Your post was crystal clear!

>

> >Well I am off for the weekend, hope you all have a great one!

>

> >Kitty

>

> Yea, yea, I know now that I mixed your names all up..... ,

forgive

> me! Kitty, gottcha! These 'conversations' include sooo many people

and

> ideas, sometimes I get confused. I'll do my best to be more

observant!

> Rainbow

[Guest guest]

> writes:

>Obviously, I am angry with the private sector for not allowing the

payoff I worked hard to deserve.

,

I understand what you are saying but not what YOU have done about it

for yourself.

I, also, started working in 'the system'. I experienced what you have,

but after just a few frustrating years as a young man 'got out'. I took

a change in direction, began my own business, worked by/for myself

(sole proprietorship), doing something I was interested but totally

inexperienced in, and made it into my life's work. This is always

difficult to do, at first. Im still not successful in the traditional

sense but have unlimited self esteem, and the appreciation by my peers

for what I AM able to create. Finally the demand for my work exceeds

production, my 'dream' come true. It is not too late for you, also, to

take a 'new direction' within your chosen field of interest and become

as successful as YOU dream. I wish you the best!

Rainbow