RE: The Glutenator - starring Heidi S.

[Guest guest]

At 08:13 AM 3/2/04 -0600, you wrote:

>She's clobbered the gluten thugs and sent them running from her own clan.

>Now she's coming to your neighborhood. Watch The Glutenator tackle Rowdy

>Rye, Bad Barley, and Wise Guy Wheat using nothing but her sorghum

>breadstick. Think you can't give up that wheat pizza? Well, think again...

>

>

Armed and dangerous ... her " firearms " are loaded with kimchi juice ...

MFJ

There are no stupid questions, but there are plenty of silly ones.

[Guest guest]

>She's clobbered the gluten thugs and sent them running from her own clan.

>Now she's coming to your neighborhood. Watch The Glutenator tackle Rowdy

>Rye, Bad Barley, and Wise Guy Wheat using nothing but her sorghum

>breadstick. Think you can't give up that wheat pizza? Well, think again...

ROFLMYAO!

Helga (the Glutenator)

[Guest guest]

> The Glutenator - starring Heidi S.

>

>

>She's clobbered the gluten thugs and sent them running from her own clan.

>Now she's coming to your neighborhood. Watch The Glutenator tackle Rowdy

>Rye, Bad Barley, and Wise Guy Wheat using nothing but her sorghum

>breadstick. Think you can't give up that wheat pizza? Well,

>think again...

>

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! oh that's puuuurfect! we need to get her a super hero

outfit now. maybe a t-shirt with a wheat stalk in a cirlce and a red bar

across it, as in NO WHEAT. or BAD WHEAT. then a cape. hmmm....when i was a

young girl i used to play " super sue " (no one dare cal me " sue " now). i put

on a leotard, tights and used an old black dress that i got at the thrift

shop as a cape. it had a fanned skirt so i tied it around my neck and it

looked just like a cape. maybe heidi could tie a table cloth or something

around her neck, then she could top off the outfight with tights (fish net?)

and a chef's cap.

look out world.

Suze Fisher

Lapdog Design, Inc.

Web Design & Development

http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze3shjg

Weston A. Price Foundation Chapter Leader, Mid Coast Maine

http://www.westonaprice.org

----------------------------

“The diet-heart idea (the idea that saturated fats and cholesterol cause

heart disease) is the greatest scientific deception of our times.” --

Mann, MD, former Professor of Medicine and Biochemistry at Vanderbilt

University, Tennessee; heart disease researcher.

The International Network of Cholesterol Skeptics

<http://www.thincs.org>

----------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

At 09:58 AM 3/2/04 -0500, you wrote:

>CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! oh that's puuuurfect! we need to get her a super hero

>outfit now. maybe a t-shirt with a wheat stalk in a cirlce and a red bar

>across it, as in NO WHEAT. or BAD WHEAT. then a cape. hmmm....when i was a

>young girl i used to play " super sue " (no one dare cal me " sue " now). i put

>on a leotard, tights and used an old black dress that i got at the thrift

>shop as a cape. it had a fanned skirt so i tied it around my neck and it

>looked just like a cape. maybe heidi could tie a table cloth or something

>around her neck, then she could top off the outfight with tights (fish net?)

>and a chef's cap.

>

>look out world.

>

Gingham. Definitely gingham. Don't care if it's passe.

MFJ

There are no stupid questions, but there are plenty of silly ones.

[Guest guest]

Yes, Suze! Our Glutenator needs her costume with GFF - for Gluten Freedom

Fighter - on the front in gold glitter. And then she needs to go out in the

real world and get some pictures in action, along with reaction from the

masses. And then we can start a photo file for " Helga, Our Hero. " Bravo!

we need to get her a super hero

outfit now.

[Guest guest]

Heidi, could I interest you in running for governor of California?

Christie

[Guest guest]

> Re: The Glutenator - starring Heidi S.

>

>

>Heidi, could I interest you in running for governor of California?

ROFLMAO!!

Suze Fisher

Lapdog Design, Inc.

Web Design & Development

http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze3shjg

Weston A. Price Foundation Chapter Leader, Mid Coast Maine

http://www.westonaprice.org

----------------------------

" The diet-heart idea (the idea that saturated fats and cholesterol cause

heart disease) is the greatest scientific deception of our times. " --

Mann, MD, former Professor of Medicine and Biochemistry at Vanderbilt

University, Tennessee; heart disease researcher.

The International Network of Cholesterol Skeptics

<http://www.thincs.org>

----------------------------

[Guest guest]

:

>Gingham. Definitely gingham. Don't care if it's passe.

With a sack of GF chocolate chip cookies hooked on to my belt?

-- Helga

[Guest guest]

At 09:48 AM 3/2/04 -0800, you wrote:

>>Gingham. Definitely gingham. Don't care if it's passe.

>

>With a sack of GF chocolate chip cookies hooked on to my belt?

>

>-- Helga

>

And pies. Sorghum-crusted pies. Preferably cream pies. No

self-respecting superheroine would leave home without 'em.

MFJ

There are no stupid questions, but there are plenty of silly ones.

[Guest guest]

>Heidi, could I interest you in running for governor of California?

>

>Christie

Sure: here is my platform:

1. Encourage all restaurants to have a GF and NT menu available.

2. Advertise for the return of coconut oil. (I'll start my own

company and have the grocers all stock it, so this should turn

a profit).

3. Restock all the rivers and deer habitats and bring back elk

and other large mammals for hunting. Set up artificial reefs to

encourage lots of deep sea fish.

4. Make it easy for people to buy grassfed meat. All the grassland that

is currently being mowed for fire prevention will be stocked with

Longhorns. All the areas that are having the brush sprayed with

chemicals for control will be stocked with goats. Unemployed

young men can get jobs as goatherds or cowboys.

5. Require all doctors to check for nutritional issues before doing

other tests.

6. Set up kimchi-making and GF/NT cooking classes at all public

facilities (these will be self-supporting so no new taxes ...). Hmmm

let's throw weightlifting in there too.

Heh heh.

Helga

[Guest guest]

Helga, if you'll allow tax credits for organic gardening, I say forget

California . . . your country needs you!

Helga for President!

Deanna

Sure: here is my platform:

1. Encourage all restaurants to have a GF and NT menu available.

2. Advertise for the return of coconut oil. (I'll start my own

company and have the grocers all stock it, so this should turn

a profit).

3. Restock all the rivers and deer habitats and bring back elk

and other large mammals for hunting. Set up artificial reefs to

encourage lots of deep sea fish.

4. Make it easy for people to buy grassfed meat. All the grassland that

is currently being mowed for fire prevention will be stocked with

Longhorns. All the areas that are having the brush sprayed with

chemicals for control will be stocked with goats. Unemployed

young men can get jobs as goatherds or cowboys.

5. Require all doctors to check for nutritional issues before doing

other tests.

6. Set up kimchi-making and GF/NT cooking classes at all public

facilities (these will be self-supporting so no new taxes ...). Hmmm

let's throw weightlifting in there too.

Heh heh.

Helga

[Guest guest]

> >From: Christie [mailto:christiekeith@...]

> >Heidi, could I interest you in running for governor of California?

>

>

> ROFLMAO!!

> Suze Fisher

ROFLMAO! again in the last hour. Just finished ROFLMAO after hearing author

of Bushwhacked on NPR Alternative Radio describe Arnie as a condom with

walnuts overstuffed into it. Heidi the Glutenator it will be!

Wanita

[Guest guest]

Dear Glutenator,

I implore you to remember the importance of us minority groups

instead of just trying to appeal to the " average Joe " like below.

How can we know you are going to stand up for the rights of

entomophagists and offer government assistance and protection in the

fight to preserve the tastier species of waterbugs and slugs? And

would you veto any proposals to eliminate corn earworms?

A Concerned Citizen,

Mike

SE Pennsylvania

@@@@@@@@@@

> Sure: here is my platform:

>

> 1. Encourage all restaurants to have a GF and NT menu available.

>

> 2. Advertise for the return of coconut oil. (I'll start my own

> company and have the grocers all stock it, so this should turn

> a profit).

>

> 3. Restock all the rivers and deer habitats and bring back elk

> and other large mammals for hunting. Set up artificial reefs to

> encourage lots of deep sea fish.

>

> 4. Make it easy for people to buy grassfed meat. All the grassland

that

> is currently being mowed for fire prevention will be stocked with

> Longhorns. All the areas that are having the brush sprayed with

> chemicals for control will be stocked with goats. Unemployed

> young men can get jobs as goatherds or cowboys.

>

> 5. Require all doctors to check for nutritional issues before doing

> other tests.

>

> 6. Set up kimchi-making and GF/NT cooking classes at all public

> facilities (these will be self-supporting so no new taxes ...). Hmmm

> let's throw weightlifting in there too.

>

> Heh heh.

>

> Helga

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/2/04 9:57:45 AM Eastern Standard Time,

s.fisher22@... writes:

> CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! oh that's puuuurfect!

Yes, Batman, Helga has cat-alyzed the cat-abolism of the gluten cat-astrophe

through her cat-echistic cat-aclasm.! Puuuurrrrrrrrrfect!

Chris

[Guest guest]

>Dear Glutenator,

>I implore you to remember the importance of us minority groups

>instead of just trying to appeal to the " average Joe " like below.

>How can we know you are going to stand up for the rights of

>entomophagists and offer government assistance and protection in the

>fight to preserve the tastier species of waterbugs and slugs? And

>would you veto any proposals to eliminate corn earworms?

>

>A Concerned Citizen,

>Mike

>SE Pennsylvania

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Certainly you bring up a valid point! In our efforts to provide

good affordable food we certainly should not forget the entomophagist

community. Extending the popularity of entomophagy will provide a

tasty source of protein, and perhaps may even be acceptable so

some of the vegetarian community currently addicted to soy and

wheat-gluten-fake-meat. After all, bugs have been known to

destroy their beloved vegetables.

Perhaps we can provide job-training programs for some of

our inner-city youth in our new bug-rearing facilities, thus

training them in this new profit-making field while providing

delicacies for the NT menu at our better restaurants. And

encourage farmers to re-sell their earworms rather than

spraying. What do you think? Are you interested in a position

as Head of the Committee on Entomophagy?

--- Helga

[Guest guest]

@@@@@@@@@@@

> Dear Concerned Citizen:

>

> Certainly you bring up a valid point! In our efforts to provide

> good affordable food we certainly should not forget the

entomophagist

> community. Extending the popularity of entomophagy will provide a

> tasty source of protein, and perhaps may even be acceptable so

> some of the vegetarian community currently addicted to soy and

> wheat-gluten-fake-meat. After all, bugs have been known to

> destroy their beloved vegetables.

>

> Perhaps we can provide job-training programs for some of

> our inner-city youth in our new bug-rearing facilities, thus

> training them in this new profit-making field while providing

> delicacies for the NT menu at our better restaurants. And

> encourage farmers to re-sell their earworms rather than

> spraying. What do you think? Are you interested in a position

> as Head of the Committee on Entomophagy?

>

> --- Helga

@@@@@@@@@

Dear Helga,

I sense the true warmth and human goodwill in your writing. I'm also

impressed that you have not resorted to trashing all the other anti-

bug candidates. I would gladly accept the position you offer, and I

would like to volunteer my services for your campaign if you feel it

could be helpful.

Mike

SE Pennsylvania

[Guest guest]

At 10:00 AM 3/2/04 -0800, you wrote:

>4. Make it easy for people to buy grassfed meat. All the grassland that

>is currently being mowed for fire prevention will be stocked with

>Longhorns. All the areas that are having the brush sprayed with

>chemicals for control will be stocked with goats. Unemployed

>young men can get jobs as goatherds or cowboys.

Oh, by the way ...

Will sheepherders have all the same rights, privileges and protection under

the law as cowboys and goatherds? Will there be tax breaks for wild worm

farmers? What's your position on chicken snatchers? Enquiring felines

want to know.

MFJ

There are no stupid questions, but there are plenty of silly ones.

[Guest guest]

....and the White House [oh yeah, by the way, we upgraded your

campaign] will be remodelled with a temperature-

controlled " fermentation wing " ...

[Guest guest]

>...and the White House [oh yeah, by the way, we upgraded your

>campaign] will be remodelled with a temperature-

>controlled " fermentation wing " ...

We are kicking the flunkies out of the basement, which

of course used to be the wine and root cellar. We are also

installing solar lighting and heating and solar electric collectors,

as an example to the American public. And the kitchen gardens

will be re-instated, and the chickens of course. I have it on

good authority that in Jefferson's day, the " White house sheep "

kept the grass mowed.

-- Helga

[Guest guest]

>Oh, by the way ...

>

>Will sheepherders have all the same rights, privileges and protection under

>the law as cowboys and goatherds? Will there be tax breaks for wild worm

>farmers? What's your position on chicken snatchers? Enquiring felines

>want to know.

As you have posed several questions here, I will take them one at a time:

1. Obviously all herders, whether on the back of an animal or on foot, are

valuable

to our economy, as are all other human beings. So all will share equal

rights, privileges, and protections, as is guaranteed by our Constitution.

However, I would like an education program to encourage cowboys to start

actually riding " cows " instead of " horses " (in which case they should be

" horseboys " ,

though that may be a little degrading, esp. if they are female). Herders should

ride

Longhorns ... they are less flighty than horses, and are more calming to their

fellow bovines. And make better steaks at the end of their useful lives.

2. There is some controversy over what constitutes a " wild " vs. a " domesticated "

worm, so all worm farmers will be in the same category. However, my postion

on subsidies is that they don't work well. We intend to push for legislation to

return to the pre-Nixon system, where crops are bought by the government

when prices drop too low (bumper years) and the government then sells

them at a profit when prices are high (lean years). This system ensure

the health of all farms without costing the taxpayers anything, the system

generally ran at a profit in the past (buy low, sell high!). I expect that

bumper

crops of worms can be turned into dried worm meal for future feeding

to chickens and insectovores.

3. My position on chicken snatchers depends on the species of the

snatcher. I know, this mayb e considered prejudicial. However, hawks and jaguars

and alligators are protected species, plus they really don't do well

in jail. The chickens deserve a space that is safe from such snatchers,

but I believe this can be done without building more jail space or raising

taxes.

-- Helga

>MFJ

>There are no stupid questions, but there are plenty of silly ones.

<And boy, do we do silly good on this list!>

[Guest guest]

> 3. My position on chicken snatchers depends on the species of the

> snatcher. I know, this mayb e considered prejudicial. However, hawks

> and jaguars

> and alligators are protected species, plus they really don't do well

> in jail. The chickens deserve a space that is safe from such snatchers,

> but I believe this can be done without building more jail space or

> raising

> taxes.

By golly, you've got my vote!

Lynn S.

------

Lynn Siprelle * web developer, writer, mama, fiber junky

Editor/Publisher, The New Homemaker

http://www.thenewhomemaker.com/

Celebrating 5 Years of Homemaker and Caregiver Support: 1999-2004

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/3/04 1:04:16 PM Eastern Standard Time,

heidis@... writes:

> We intend to push for legislation to

> return to the pre-Nixon system, where crops are bought by the government

> when prices drop too low (bumper years) and the government then sells

> them at a profit when prices are high (lean years).

That's a great idea-- then farmer's will be encouraged to invest in crops

that have no market. This wreaked havoc during the Great Depression, by the

way,

and caused massive suffering and economic disaster.

This system ensure

> the health of all farms without costing the taxpayers anything,

>

Umm, so where does the government get the money to buy the crops? Taxpayers?

Chris

[Guest guest]

> We are kicking the flunkies out of the basement, which

> of course used to be the wine and root cellar. We are also

> installing solar lighting and heating and solar electric collectors,

> as an example to the American public. And the kitchen gardens

> will be re-instated, and the chickens of course. I have it on

> good authority that in Jefferson's day, the " White house sheep "

> kept the grass mowed.

>

> -- Helga

Did you know Bush's Crawford Texas ranch is geothermally heated and cooled

to 70 degrees year round?

Wanita

[Guest guest]

At 09:43 AM 3/3/04 -0800, you wrote:

>3. My position on chicken snatchers depends on the species of the

>snatcher. I know, this mayb e considered prejudicial. However, hawks and

jaguars

>and alligators are protected species, plus they really don't do well

>in jail. The chickens deserve a space that is safe from such snatchers,

>but I believe this can be done without building more jail space or raising

>taxes.

>

Well okay, that sounds fair. I was just asking because, well, Mighty

Hunter Cat over here wanted to be sure that we were absolutely clear on

that. Because, ya know, a bird in the supper dish is worth two, three

dozen in the bush.

MFJ

There are no stupid questions, but there are plenty of silly ones.

[Guest guest]

>Did you know Bush's Crawford Texas ranch is geothermally heated and cooled

>to 70 degrees year round?

>

>Wanita

Hmmmm ... now if he would encourage that to be available

to more folks instead of burning coal ...

-- Helga