Sharing/update (long)

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I am speechless at all that has happened since I've last posted a

week ago. My heart goes out to you Donna with the loss of your mom

Oct. 17th and to you Sally with the loss of your dad on Oct. 21st.

May you both find comfort in knowing that their pain and suffering is

over and they can now rest peacefully in God's arms.

Shirley, I can sympathize with what you're going through..trying to

care for your mom while trying to make a living and raise a family.

I know sometimes the decision of a nh over home care is the toughest

decision we may ever make, but it sounds like for your mom and your

sake, this may be the best decision.

And Dennis, I have never read a more touching post from a man about

his father. It brought tears to my eyes, but the mention of the song

by Clapton, " In My Father's Eyes " reduced me to blubbering

puddle of water. You see, that was one of the songs we chose to play

at my own dad's funeral just this past April. It still deeply

touches a soft spot in my heart as my eyes again begin to water.

So on a change of subject .. here's the update on my step-dad. We

(my mom and I) took him to his appt w/ his neurologist yesterday.

Fortunately he is a much nicer and more understanding man than the

heart surgeon. He definitely saw the increased deterioration in sf's

walk, balance and confusion. He ordered a slow gradual increase on

his Sinemet. The dosage was much higher before his heart surgery and

we haven't been able to increase it as of yet. The one time they

tried, he hallucinated real bad and got very confused and anxious.

So, they are going to try a real slow gradual increase like they did

a couple years ago. He also ordered an MRI to detect if he possibly

suffered a stroke or strokes during or right after his heart

surgery. I asked the purpose and he said strickly for diagnosis. I

sometimes wonder their reasoning behind some of these unnecessary

tests, but in this case, it might be necessary for my mom's sake.

She is still having this " hope " that he will get back to a controlled

state that she will be able to handle once again. I personally don't

see it happening, but she is still hanging onto that hope somewhat.

I was a bit mean yesterday as I let her deal with getting him in

and out of the car, into wheelchair, and pushing him in to his appt.

We even stopped by a Village Inn afterward to take him out to lunch

and I let her deal with walking him in, doing his coat etc. By time

we got him back to the nh, she was exhausted and her back was killing

her. I reminded her we were only gone 2 1/2 hrs and if he was home,

she would be doing this for 24 hrs a day. I hated to be so mean, but

she really needs to face reality. Her and my sf general physician

has even told her that my sf is exactly where he needs to be for both

her sake and his.

I feel really bad for both of them. Especially when my sf is

having his less confused, more mobile days or hours. He wants to go

home and starts getting a little testy about being in the nh. As I

read some of the posts here and how hard the final stages of this

horrible disease get, I look at my sf and think .. " Heck, he's not

that bad yet. " But then he'll have a horrible day with alot of

hallucinations, confusion and his mobility gets real rigid where he

can hardly walk. For the most part, he is still walking, but his

balance and shuffling is not something I would trust unattended. I

guess I just wish I knew more about this disease. I wonder if he's

still in early stages, middle stages or approaching final stages and

how fast one progresses from one stage to another. I had asked the

neurologist about the progress speed and later my mom and I realized

that somehow that was never answered directly.

Anyway, that's the update for now. Sorry so long and sorry for my

absense, but sometimes I come here and by time I read most of the

posts, it's late and time for bed. And I have actually taken some

time for me .. had grandkid's overnight a couple times and meet with

some friends another night. Yes Yes Yes .. I can realize the

importance of taking some time for ourselves as hard as it might be.

My best to everyone here. Please accept my prayers for you Donna

and Sally for your loss. And Sandie, I hope your son is doing much

better from his surgery. BTW .. thanks for sharing the pics of you,

your dad and brother. I know he's smiling down on you this very

moment with great pride. My prayers for everyone and may God give

everyone here the strength they need in which ever way they need

it.

Hugs and prayers,

Peg