Re: What to do???

September 27, 2002

Gosh Peg,

I think we have all been there with severe emotions running through our

families because of the issues surrounding this disease. I have yelled at

my mom too. Sometimes we reach a breaking point and we regress.

What to do to help your mother cope? Of course you could take her in to

her counselor or her pastor so she can work this out through

discussion. What physical condition is she in? Is she able to

exercise? Could the two of you go for a brisk morning walk so she can soak

in the beauty of nature and get her mind on a different track? Those

endorphins from the exercise will be so soothing for her (and

you). Perhaps a water stretching class or a yoga class at a nearby

gym? These are things you two could do for a break from the stresses of

only thinking about Dad.

These are but a few ideas. I hope some of them are feasible for you.

God bless you.

Anne

At 03:39 AM 9/27/2002 +0000, you wrote:

>They say the caregivers are sometimes the first to go and I'm

>thinking we are getting real close to that point with my mom. After

>getting my step-dad settled into the nh Tuesday, I spent a good part

>of yesterday afternoon with my mom. Her stress level is maxed out,

>she was out of control yesterday with her emotions, nerves, anxiety

>and was literally screaming at store clerks. I was not only

>embarrassed, but worried they would call the police before I was able

>to get her out of there. She continued with her negative

>uncontrolled emotions as I was driving down the street. I tried

>calming her unsuccessfully. After about 5 minutes or so, I ended up

>screaming at her to get control. I literally screamed at my own

>mother! I felt so bad afterward. I told her that I know she is

>overwhelmed, overstressed, tired, exhausted etc. Told her that this

>is exactly why she cannot bring my step-dad home in a couple weeks

>cause she can NOT handle it. I got her calmed down, with the help of

>her Xanax. But she is still an emotional wreck! I talked with both

>my sister and brother tonight to ensure they support my stand that my

>mom cannot take my step-dad home while she is so run down herself.

>Taking care of him was a strain on her before the surgery, I just

>don't know how she thinks she is going to be able to do this again.

>And of course, when he is lucid and doing pretty good, she is so

>ladled with the 'guilts' that it just adds to the stress. It

>bothers me, so I know it bothers her twice as bad. I just don't know

>where to turn now .. mainly to get help for my mom. Any

>suggestions? My step-dad is being taken care of. Maybe not where

>we would all like to see him be, but none the less, he is still being

>taken care of ... much more so than my mother is right now. I am

>truly worried, and not sure what direction to go. I am going to try

>calling this lady at Alternative Care for the Elderly who was aware

>of my mom's elevated stress level earlier this summer. Maybe that's

>a good start. Wish me luck. Hugs to you all and God Bless.. Peg

>

September 27, 2002

Hi Peg,

Just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my prayers. May God

bless you.

Jackie

What to do???

They say the caregivers are sometimes the first to go and I'm

thinking we are getting real close to that point with my mom. After

getting my step-dad settled into the nh Tuesday, I spent a good part

of yesterday afternoon with my mom. Her stress level is maxed out,

she was out of control yesterday with her emotions, nerves, anxiety

and was literally screaming at store clerks. I was not only

embarrassed, but worried they would call the police before I was able

to get her out of there. She continued with her negative

uncontrolled emotions as I was driving down the street. I tried

calming her unsuccessfully. After about 5 minutes or so, I ended up

screaming at her to get control. I literally screamed at my own

mother! I felt so bad afterward. I told her that I know she is

overwhelmed, overstressed, tired, exhausted etc. Told her that this

is exactly why she cannot bring my step-dad home in a couple weeks

cause she can NOT handle it. I got her calmed down, with the help of

her Xanax. But she is still an emotional wreck! I talked with both

my sister and brother tonight to ensure they support my stand that my

mom cannot take my step-dad home while she is so run down herself.

Taking care of him was a strain on her before the surgery, I just

don't know how she thinks she is going to be able to do this again.

And of course, when he is lucid and doing pretty good, she is so

ladled with the 'guilts' that it just adds to the stress. It

bothers me, so I know it bothers her twice as bad. I just don't know

where to turn now .. mainly to get help for my mom. Any

suggestions? My step-dad is being taken care of. Maybe not where

we would all like to see him be, but none the less, he is still being

taken care of ... much more so than my mother is right now. I am

truly worried, and not sure what direction to go. I am going to try

calling this lady at Alternative Care for the Elderly who was aware

of my mom's elevated stress level earlier this summer. Maybe that's

a good start. Wish me luck. Hugs to you all and God Bless.. Peg

September 27, 2002

Peg,

Try to explain to her that those " lucid " moments will be a memory. LBD

patients have good days, but then there are bad days that take a lot of

patience and understanding in order to handle them. I also think your Mom

should seek some outside counseling and try to get on an anti-depressant.

She would surely benefit from counseling as she is going to be going through

a lot. She loves him very much I am sure, and I would say reassure her that

it is normal for her to feel what she is feeling, and that making the right

decisions WILL test her limits, but she will have to do what is best for him

and the guilt must be left outside. Remind her that he needs her right now,

so she needs to take care of herself so she can help take care of him.

Remind her how wonderful and special she is, and that you and the others are

there for her. It really is all you can do. She is lucky to have you there

for her!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you travel this

difficult course. Things do get more manageable, but it takes time.

God bless,