Guest guest Posted August 25, 1999 Report Share Posted August 25, 1999 Greetings: Just some humor/ This fellow who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is. Predictably, he's hit -- but, only a glancing blow -- and is thrown, head-over-heals, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party, one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the tea kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man: " Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle? " The desert man replies: " Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small. " =================================================================== Painful Puns Hangover: The wrath of grapes. Income Tax: Capital punishment. A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be. Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie. To my sweetheart: My cooking's gotten better since I fondue. A robber broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats, and the police didn't have anything to go on. Middle Age: When actions creak louder than words. Egotist: One who is me-deep in conversation. Did you hear about the woman who started dating rakes and fell on hard tines? Why won't melons elope to Las Vegas? They cantaloupe. Archeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins. Kleptomaniac: One who can't help himself from helping himself. Did you hear about the snake who gave birth to a bouncing baby boa? Once I got angry at the chef of an Italian restaurant, so I gave him a pizza my mind. California smog test: Can UCLA? The competition at a local dog show was quite " Ruff " Q: How did the pig with laryngitis feel? A: Dis-gruntled. Be Blest, D. -- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To those who read this: I RESPOND TO NEW ICQ'S when sufficient information is provided for me to make a decision. All others are deleted. Reach me by ICQ. My ICQ# is 24385601. * Page me online http://wwp.icq.com/24385601 * Send me E-mail Express directly to my computer screen 24385601@... E. Darwent ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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