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Subject: Courtroom bloopers

> Q. What is your brother-in-law's name?

> A. Borofkin.

> Q. What's his first name?

> A. I can't remember.

> Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his

first

> name?

> A. No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and

> pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) , for God's sake, tell them your

first

> name!

>

> Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?

> A. I refuse to answer that question.

> Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?

> A. I refuse to answer that question.

> Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?

> A. No.

>

> Q. Now, Mrs. , how was your first marriage terminated?

> A. By death.

> Q. And by whose death was it terminated?

>

> Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?

> A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

>

> Q. What is your name?

> A. Ernestine McDowell.

> Q. And what is your marital status?

> A. Fair.

>

> Q. Are you married?

> A. No, I'm divorced.

> Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?

> A. A lot of things I didn't know about.

>

> Q. And who is this person you are speaking of?

> A. My ex-widow said it.

>

> Q. How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?

> A. Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr.

Cherney,

> and said he was really good.

>

> Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?

> A. I will be three months November 8th.

> Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?

> A. Yes.

> Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?

>

> Q. Mrs. , do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?

> A. I should be.

> Q. How many times have you comitted suicide?

> A. Four times.

>

> Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you peformed on dead people?

> A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

>

> Q. Were you aquainted with the deceased?

> A. Yes, sir.

> Q. Before or after he died?

>

> Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the

influence?

> A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his words.

>

> Q. What happened then?

> A. He told me, he says, " I have to kill you because you can identify

me. "

> Q. Did he kill you?

> A. No.

>

> Q. Mrs. , is your appearance this morning pursuant to a

deposition

> notice which I sent to your attorney?

> A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.

>

> The Court: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present

> information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.

>

> Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?

> A. No.

> Q. What was he doing with the dog's ears?

> A. Picking them up in the air.

> Q. Where was the dog at this time?

> A. Attached to the ears.

>

> Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were

able,

> for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone

also,

> would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the

station?

> Mr. : Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

>

> Q. And lastly, , all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What

school do

> you go to?

> A. Oral.

> Q. How old are you?

> A. Oral.

>

> Q: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

> A: She is my daughter.

> Q: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

>

> Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there

was a

> victim?

>

> Q: ...and what did he do then?

> A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.

> Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?

>

> Q: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you

indignities?

> A: He didn't offer me nothing; he just said I could have the

furniture.

>

> Q: So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you

observe

> with respect to your scalp?

> A: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.

> Q: It was covered?

> A: Yes, bandaged.

> Q: Then, later on... what did you see?

> A: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put

on top

> of my head.

>

> Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?

> A: I could see his head.

> Q: And where was his head?

> A: Just above his shoulders.

>

> Q: What can you tell us about he truthfulness and veracity of this

defendant

> ?

> A: Oh, she will tell the truth. She said she'd kill that sonofabitch-

and

> she did!

>

> Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?

> A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

>

> Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder

trial

> instead of an attempted murder trial?

> A: The victim lived.

>

> Q: Are you sexually active?

> A: No, I just lie there.

>

> Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

> A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.

>

> Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective

> witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas?

> A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.

>

> Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?

> A: It indicates intercourse.

> Q: Male sperm?

> A. That is the only kind I know.

>

> Q: (Showing man picture.) That's you?

> A: Yes, sir.

> Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?

>

> Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

> A: I have only one, you know.

>

>

>

>

>

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