Guest guest Posted July 25, 2002 Report Share Posted July 25, 2002 For three years I performed heavy duty care for my LBD husband However, this year got the best of me. Taking Celexa to keep myself calm no longer seemed to help. I could fill pages with his totally unanticipated actions. With pressure from my friends & the doctor, I began looking into nursing homes in the area. Living in Ft. Myers, FL., there are many to chose from, but the good ones are a little harder to get into with waiting lists. I learned you could get around the waiting lists if you were coming in as a private pay patient. Then once you were in, you could apply for medicaid and they would accept that. So, I paid $5208. for the first month and with the help of a lawyer, began doing all the financial juggling required in order to be accepted by Medicaid. This is one of the most intelligent things I have ever done. now has 24 hour care, activities available from 9:AM thru 7:PM. Three good nutritional meals plus snacks inbetween if he wants them. He is in a 30 bed wing full of dementia patients. When he was home, the only time he wasn't wearing me down was when he was asleep. My life was no longer my own, it was totally dedicated to caring for him. When he fell, which was getting more frequent, he would go so rigid that often I couldn't get him up and had to choose between letting him lay there or bringing in a neighbor to help me. After placing him, they quickly changed a number of his drugs. Today he is on Zyprexia and Reminyl and seems calm and happy. He doesn't know me 1/2 the time and on days that he appears lucid, he tells me about the trips he has been on (?) He just turned 74 and his 71 yr old sister is in a NH in VA. diagnosed with alzheimers and is perhaps a little worse than her brother. Maybe I have been lucky, but the people at his NH appear to take good care of all their patients and seeing 2/3 of the patients at least 3/4 times per week since March, I believe they are all as content as they would be at home and maybe more so because of the numerous activities scheduled to keep their brains active as well as entertained. Truthfully, for the first month I was miserable because he seemed so content and I was so lonesome. It was apparent that I missed him probably more than he really had time to miss me. Now I am just happy he is someplace that has nurses and aides right there 24/7 to pick him up when he falls and see to his every need. I think I feel a loss that he really doesn't need me anymore, but I still make my visits to assure myself he is where he should be. They keep telling me I need to " get a life " . So I am beginning to play golf and bridge again. I am also getting together with a wife of one of the male patients to go out to dinner or a movie once in a while. Add this to TV, Computers, Reading, Sewing, & arts/crafts, and I think I am beginning to feel like I am treating myself pretty good these days. And I expect my activities will increase when all my snowbird friends return in the Fall. I am still doing all I can do for and the nice thing is.....I don't feel guilty about doing things for myself. I recently went to CA for my grand daughters graduation and even though while I was there, I received two calls telling me had fallen, I could relax and enjoy my visit because I knew he was in good hands. Nursing Homes in our area are State inspected twice a year and held to very stringent rules. They in turn work hard to build their reputations and to avoid potential law suits that could come from unhappy families. They are nothing like the NH I visualized from " movies or old time tales " . I thank God every day that he helped to show me the wisdom in placing . Joanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 27, 2002 Report Share Posted July 27, 2002 Joann, I am so happy to hear this " happy " ending to the posts of days gone by. I had wondered how you were going to cope with on the second floor . . . Altogether, it sounds that if things have to be this bad, they are very good. I wish all the best for you as you return to golf, and as I recall, a lot of other activites as well. Would you understand if I said, " I envy you? " Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 27, 2002 Report Share Posted July 27, 2002 Another aspect to look into is a NOT for Profit facility. They are under the same guide lines as others , but they are not under the same pressure as a for profit to make the $ talk.. Joanne thanks for you positive word, where would we be without the NHs when we need them. That is a concern that all on this sight should be concerned about. ************************************************* I think the " for profit " corporate nursing homes are a major problem - if you google search some of the corporations, you will find that some have CEOs with huge salaries and have built themselves extravagant corporate headquarter buildings at the expense of clients and their families. In some areas they have control of the market and can threaten to shut down when pressed with federal/state regulations - putting their clients and families at risk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 28, 2002 Report Share Posted July 28, 2002 Joanne Thank you so very much for this helpful information concerning nursing homes. My dad has been in a nh for almost 3 yrs and at this current one over 2 yrs. I have definately had my share of ups and downs, but have admitted many times that the nh and its staff has been more than willing to work with me in the care of my dad. Like any other type of business, there will always be the 1 or 2 people that can seem to ruin it for everyone and the reputations. I think just staying on top of the care has given me the edge I need to assure my dad is getting the best possible care he needs. Every now and again a little " prod " has helped to keep up the care as well. Take Care and please give any more information you may have concerning the nh side of caregiving. :-)) Sandie Des Moines, IA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 28, 2002 Report Share Posted July 28, 2002 Lula Wow, I found this most interesting. Thank you for sending this. Hoping all is well with you and your life...keeping you in my prayers in Iowa. Sandie Des Moines, IA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 28, 2002 Report Share Posted July 28, 2002 Here's an article about some of the corporate nursing home problems - it's sort of like Enron et al only it showed up earlier and no one has really addressed the issues: http://denver.rockymountainnews.com/news/1022homes1.shtml Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 28, 2002 Report Share Posted July 28, 2002 Here's an article about some of the corporate nursing home problems - it's sort of like Enron et al only it showed up earlier and no one has really addressed the issues: http://denver.rockymountainnews.com/news/1022homes1.shtml Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 28, 2002 Report Share Posted July 28, 2002 Lula Thank you for forwarding this article on. There was an additional website in the side paragraph that lists all nursing homes in the country. I will be checking into this. Sandie Des Moines, IA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 28, 2002 Report Share Posted July 28, 2002 Lula Thank you for forwarding this article on. There was an additional website in the side paragraph that lists all nursing homes in the country. I will be checking into this. Sandie Des Moines, IA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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