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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

-----Original Message-----From: candacethvedt

** My son has paced since he could walk, long before he was diagnosed with ADD & then AS.**

Its interesting he was dx with ADD, my son was first dx with ADHD, then I was told he ONLY had Sensory problems, finally I feel we have arrived at the correct "label".

** Unusualbehavior compared to "normal" kids yes, but it's never bothered me that much, mainly because it doesn't hurt anything & there've always been much more serious behaviors to worry about.**

Exactly my view point. If he isnt hurting himself or others then he is allowed to do it. He does it for a reason!!!!

** sleep problems, we've tried almost everything. ** Ugg.. i feel your pain. I started him on Melatonin and it helped out so much. Researchers have found that children with LD's, mental health issues and nuerological disorders have a different production of melatonin in their body (your body will automatically produce more as it gets darker and less when it gets lighter).

**The angry meltdowns, with threatening words & gestures are too familiar too. Now, though, I don't know, they seem to get to me more than they used to. Sometimes though lately I just think that I'm plain weary of dealing with these behaviors after so many years . **

This is the part I hate the most. I can tell that he doesnt truely understand what he is saying and what the implications are when he does it. It really makes me sad because I dont know what to do for him.

** My son's handwriting still looks like a 3rd grader's. He will only use cursive when he officially has to sign his name to something.**

I kinda have to laugh here. Reminds me of my brother..poor guy. The teachers used to hound him constantly and he was made at home to practive cursive. NO ONE could read his writing. It was awful. Finally the teachers gave up completely and let him print everything. He doesnt even sign his name in cursive and everything he writes is in capital letters. I swear he is on the spectrum. He types almost everything he can (loves computers). As a matter of fact he works for IBM where he doesnt even have to sign his name, lol.

The personal hygiene issues we still deal with. I think we finally made headway last year when we finally! convinced him that part of his socialization problems were due to his not bathing as often as he needed to. Now he will do so when I tell him to, but even then we had to compromise that he only has to do so no more often than every other day.

My son still refused to brush his teeth ( It takes a long time to get him to do it, and then I usually end up brushing them while he stands there with his mouth open), he wont get in the bath unless its exactly the "right" temperature, showers or any spraying water is out of the question, he doesnt brush or comb his hair either. I know as he gets older we are going to have some problems here in this area.

** We went through months of hell, during which time he was put in Special Ed for Emotionally & Behaviorally Disturbed kids.** Hmm.. seems to be a trend among AS children. My sons school tried this crap with me and told them were they could stuff it.

**After awhile, different adults noticed the strain on me, and commented "you can't go on like this, you need a break", everyone from a casual aquaintance to my mother & my pastor. NOT ONE offered in any way to help me get a break, out of 12 people who made such a comment. Years later I asked one of them about it, & she told me candidly that everyone was "afraid to get involved** My parents are so good with my son, especially my father. I feel so blessed that they are in my life. Even with my parents who help me, if ware myself out to the point were ive made myself soooo sick. Its so important to give yourself rest.

"I don't try to EXCUSE my son's behavior, but I do try to EXPLAIN it."This is something I struggle with. Ive come to the conclusion that most people will have NO CLUE what its like to have a special child and they can NEVER understand the problems no matter how much you explain it to them. They just dont get it. Plus ive found with my son he doesnt respond to a typical way of disciplining.

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Your son sounds like a mirror image of my son!

is 14 and we have just started really having problems getting up in the

mornings over the past couple of years.

We've tried earlier bedtimes, earlier medication times, and it still doesn't

seem to work. The last time into the specialist, and she ordered labs, thinking

he is anemic...the results are not yet in. even researched vitamin

therapy and asked the doc if he could take mega doses of a B complex and a

Magnesium supplement. She agreed and there still is no change after nearly 30

days.

I'll be watching the board to see if anyone has any other suggestions.

I'm glad you like the group...I've been on for about a year and have learned so

much from so many people.

Take care,

Leah

-- This group is great!

>

> I just got done reading the messages of the last couple of days. I

found this group about a week ago, & it seems I can relate to almost

everything.

My son has paced since he could walk, long before he was diagnosed

with ADD & then AS. When he was very small he would have episodes of

walking round & round the coffee table, and as he grew his circles

grew larger. We used to say he was " doing his laps " . Unusual

behavior compared to " normal " kids yes, but it's never bothered me

that much, mainly because it doesn't hurt anything & there've always

been much more serious behaviors to worry about.

The sleep problems, we've tried almost everything. During the school

year he's been so chronically late that they usually give up any

classes for him the 1st hour, because if he makes it at all he sleeps

through it. What drives me crazy is the difficulty in getting him up

in the morning. He's almost 18 now, & we've had this battle for 12

years. He refuses to see anything wrong with it. I start out most

school days totally stressed out, late for work (I'd be in big

trouble for it except that that our doctor fills out paperwork every

year to qualify me for Family Medical Leave Act attendance exceptions

& as such documents for my employer my son's disability AND I have 2

very understanding immediate supervisors). If anyone has any magic

solution to getting an AS teenager up in the morning, please let me

know!

The angry meltdowns, with threatening words & gestures are too

familiar too. For a few years I could stay calm & handle them ok,

quite often leaving the house for awhile. (I'm so glad the nearby

& Noble stays open til 11pm so I have a quiet, calm place to

go when I need to.) Now, though, I don't know, they seem to get to

me more than they used to. He's twice as big as I am now, that's

part of it, so the threatening behavior is more scary. Sometimes

though lately I just think that I'm plain weary of dealing with these

behaviors after so many years.

My son's handwriting still looks like a 3rd grader's. He will only

use cursive when he officially has to sign his name to something. He

believes that he was never taught cursive, but I know he had it in

4th grade plus I had workbooks for him at home. The dysgraphia is

something we have to deal with not only in his IEP but usually with

each individual teacher as well.

The personal hygiene issues we still deal with. I think we finally

made headway last year when we finally! convinced him that part of

his socialization problems were due to his not bathing as often as he

needed to. Now he will do so when I tell him to, but even then we

had to compromise that he only has to do so no more often than every

other day.

Yes, we are " overprotective " parents. We know that our kids don't

behave & react to things the way other kids do, & society doesn't

understand that. We know that we can't just leave our kids with any

neighborhood babysitter; we have to be more selective. The other

side is, others who have " normal " kids don't understand the strain it

puts on us even when they perceive that our kids are different, and

others are often even afraid of our kids. When my son was 6, he had

to deal with a trauma caused by his father, as well as at that time

his not-yet-diagnosed ADD & AS. We went through months of hell,

during which time he was put in Special Ed for Emotionally &

Behaviorally Disturbed kids. After awhile, different adults noticed

the strain on me, and commented " you can't go on like this, you need

a break " , everyone from a casual aquaintance to my mother & my

pastor. NOT ONE offered in any way to help me get a break, out of 12

people who made such a comment. Years later I asked one of them

about it, & she told me candidly that everyone was " afraid to get

involved " . So if you get a chance to take a break from your child,

from someone who's not afraid, grab it, & do NOT feel guilty. That

brief break may be what you need to hold on to your own sanity.

I've read a number of books about AS, but this group brings to light

things that I see now are part of AS that I didn't really realize

before, & that is very comforting. I've been telling others for

years that " I don't try to EXCUSE my son's behavior, but I do try to

EXPLAIN it. "

I could add more about the posts of the past few days, but this is

too long already. Anyway, THANKS EVERYBODY!

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Thanks for your candid view on life (((HUGS))) Funny how when you

read all the books, the literature etc you still don't see the day to

day stuff until you read 'life experiences' from the front lines.

Least for me anyway.

Sounds like your son is pretty much like mine. Mornings

*argh*...haven't managed to find something that works yet! < never

gives up though!* My son hates all the hygiene issues. The latest

behaviorist is trying PECS again. A visual cue of sorts. I'm not so

sure its not that he 'doesn't rememeber the steps' but more that he

feels its not 'necessary' to shower, wash hands, brush teeth etc.

Takes up valuable time in his eyes LOL One thing that has worked for

us in the past (sometimes); using the " if you want to do _____, then

you need to get in the shower or get cleaned up " . Usually gets him

hopping with less arguements or stalling. I know of lot of his

issues are Sensory; which complicates the whole process.

Handwriting....oh boy; another biggy here. Makes all the school

matters even more complicated. He can't hold the pencil correctly

dispite years of work on 'grip'. Dysgraphia...been fighting that one

with the school for years. They sorta through adaptions in

there...but don't actually push them through. Soooooo.. they give me

the " well... he doesn't ASK to use the computer etc... he just gives

up " My son WON'T ask for things. He just stresses, then blows.

He doesn't want to be 'different' or stand out....just blend in.

well.. I could babble forever as well. But just wanted to thank you

for your personal notes on the subject.

Joyce

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Please tell us more about your Dr filling papers out under

the 'Family Medical Leave Act.' Your the first I've heard that has a

Dr backing you up and filling out official papers for

tardiness/absenteeism in regards to a disability. Usually folks

fuss at IEP mtgs and many still end up charged with truancy.

I second everything you said. I found a couple groups and the others

are a bit slower. Sometimes I worry about offending someone by the

way I say things (or don't) but it seems everyone has been pretty

understanding. I appreciate that a great deal.

I found it interesting also that you mentioned so many people saying

you need the break but all of them were afraid to get involved. Boy,

if that isn't da-ja-vu! Yrs ago my mom was one to say my son just

needed more discipline - last wk she gave me a clipping from our

newpaper about autism and says she wonders if I should look into it

since it sounded so much like him. I think it grows on the ones

closest to us, a greater majority need education and the rest are

politically hopeless. *sigh*

> I just got done reading the messages of the last couple of days. I

> found this group about a week ago, & it seems I can relate to

almost

> everything.

> My son has paced since he could walk, long before he was diagnosed

> with ADD & then AS. When he was very small he would have episodes

of

> walking round & round the coffee table, and as he grew his circles

> grew larger. We used to say he was " doing his laps " . Unusual

> behavior compared to " normal " kids yes, but it's never bothered me

> that much, mainly because it doesn't hurt anything & there've

always

> been much more serious behaviors to worry about.

> The sleep problems, we've tried almost everything. During the

school

> year he's been so chronically late that they usually give up any

> classes for him the 1st hour, because if he makes it at all he

sleeps

> through it. What drives me crazy is the difficulty in getting him

up

> in the morning. He's almost 18 now, & we've had this battle for 12

> years. He refuses to see anything wrong with it. I start out most

> school days totally stressed out, late for work (I'd be in big

> trouble for it except that that our doctor fills out paperwork

every

> year to qualify me for Family Medical Leave Act attendance

exceptions

> & as such documents for my employer my son's disability AND I have

2

> very understanding immediate supervisors). If anyone has any magic

> solution to getting an AS teenager up in the morning, please let me

> know!

> The angry meltdowns, with threatening words & gestures are too

> familiar too. For a few years I could stay calm & handle them ok,

> quite often leaving the house for awhile. (I'm so glad the nearby

> & Noble stays open til 11pm so I have a quiet, calm place to

> go when I need to.) Now, though, I don't know, they seem to get to

> me more than they used to. He's twice as big as I am now, that's

> part of it, so the threatening behavior is more scary. Sometimes

> though lately I just think that I'm plain weary of dealing with

these

> behaviors after so many years.

> My son's handwriting still looks like a 3rd grader's. He will only

> use cursive when he officially has to sign his name to something.

He

> believes that he was never taught cursive, but I know he had it in

> 4th grade plus I had workbooks for him at home. The dysgraphia is

> something we have to deal with not only in his IEP but usually with

> each individual teacher as well.

> The personal hygiene issues we still deal with. I think we finally

> made headway last year when we finally! convinced him that part of

> his socialization problems were due to his not bathing as often as

he

> needed to. Now he will do so when I tell him to, but even then we

> had to compromise that he only has to do so no more often than

every

> other day.

> Yes, we are " overprotective " parents. We know that our kids don't

> behave & react to things the way other kids do, & society doesn't

> understand that. We know that we can't just leave our kids with

any

> neighborhood babysitter; we have to be more selective. The other

> side is, others who have " normal " kids don't understand the strain

it

> puts on us even when they perceive that our kids are different, and

> others are often even afraid of our kids. When my son was 6, he

had

> to deal with a trauma caused by his father, as well as at that time

> his not-yet-diagnosed ADD & AS. We went through months of hell,

> during which time he was put in Special Ed for Emotionally &

> Behaviorally Disturbed kids. After awhile, different adults

noticed

> the strain on me, and commented " you can't go on like this, you

need

> a break " , everyone from a casual aquaintance to my mother & my

> pastor. NOT ONE offered in any way to help me get a break, out of

12

> people who made such a comment. Years later I asked one of them

> about it, & she told me candidly that everyone was " afraid to get

> involved " . So if you get a chance to take a break from your child,

> from someone who's not afraid, grab it, & do NOT feel guilty. That

> brief break may be what you need to hold on to your own sanity.

> I've read a number of books about AS, but this group brings to

light

> things that I see now are part of AS that I didn't really realize

> before, & that is very comforting. I've been telling others for

> years that " I don't try to EXCUSE my son's behavior, but I do try

to

> EXPLAIN it. "

> I could add more about the posts of the past few days, but this is

> too long already. Anyway, THANKS EVERYBODY!

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Is sleeping in directly related to the spectrum? This is the first

I've heard of this without comorbid disorders.

> Your son sounds like a mirror image of my son!

> is 14 and we have just started really having problems

getting up in the mornings over the past couple of years.

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Ya, mine won't ask either and while our school district claims they

also want him to blend in... they do the worst job of seeing that he

does (by not providing proper supports and accommodations).

Does your sons blow ups cause him more trouble - like suspensions?

This has been a really big issue with us and I'd like to hear more

about how other districts/parents are dealing with it.

Soooooo.. they give me

the " well... he doesn't ASK to use the computer etc... he just gives

up " My son WON'T ask for things. He just stresses, then blows.

He doesn't want to be 'different' or stand out....just blend in.

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I don't know if this got through (since I've seen no comment on it), so

here goes again. Many autistic people are sensitive to the phenols in

apples. That sensitivity (a study shows) evinces itself as disturbances

in the sleep pattern. If you take apples and apple products away from

your autistic person's diet, then that person may well begin to sleep

soundly and all through the night. We tried this with Louie when he was

in his late teens (when this was discovered), and he slept through the

night for the first time in his life!

I think it's worth a try, since you don't have to buy anything or go to

the dr. :)

Annie, who loves ya annie@...

--

All change is not growth; all movement is not forward. -- Ellen Glasgow

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Hi Annie...

Thanks for the tip. My daughter never eats apple products (very rarely), and she's had sleep problems all her life, so I guess this isn't the problem with her, but maybe it will help others.

Toodles!>^..^<Maralee

Re: Re: This group is great!

I don't know if this got through (since I've seen no comment on it), sohere goes again. Many autistic people are sensitive to the phenols inapples. That sensitivity (a study shows) evinces itself as disturbancesin the sleep pattern. If you take apples and apple products away fromyour autistic person's diet, then that person may well begin to sleepsoundly and all through the night. We tried this with Louie when he wasin his late teens (when this was discovered), and he slept through thenight for the first time in his life! I think it's worth a try, since you don't have to buy anything or go tothe dr. :)Annie, who loves ya annie@...-- All change is not growth; all movement is not forward. -- Ellen Glasgow

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>> Thanks for the tip. My daughter never eats apple products (very

rarely), and she's had sleep problems all her life, so I guess this

isn't the problem with her, but maybe it will help others.<<

This may not apply to you, but I didn't think my son ate apple

products either - turns out that much of the juice he drank, and

many of the products he ate, were sweetened with apple juice.

Taking him off apple products entirely was sanity saving - he's been

sleeping through the night more often than not since. Again - may

not apply to you, but I wanted to make sure others knew. :-)

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I agree on the personal hygiene. My son knows very well what's

expected, but he just doesn't believe any of it is really necessary.

The issues at school also, I get the same feedback " we tell him to

let us know when he needs to use the computer but he never asks " or

even " I have so many students to keep track of that I forget what

accomodations his IEP says he's supposed to have, & he never reminds

me " . In their teen years, AS kids desperately don't want to appear

different in front of their peers. It's also symptomatic of AS that

these kids have a hard time understanding that people can't really

read their minds & just understand what's needed without the teen

telling them.

> Thanks for your candid view on life (((HUGS))) Funny how when you

> read all the books, the literature etc you still don't see the day

to

> day stuff until you read 'life experiences' from the front lines.

> Least for me anyway.

>

> Sounds like your son is pretty much like mine. Mornings

> *argh*...haven't managed to find something that works yet! < never

> gives up though!* My son hates all the hygiene issues. The

latest

> behaviorist is trying PECS again. A visual cue of sorts. I'm not

so

> sure its not that he 'doesn't rememeber the steps' but more that he

> feels its not 'necessary' to shower, wash hands, brush teeth etc.

> Takes up valuable time in his eyes LOL One thing that has worked

for

> us in the past (sometimes); using the " if you want to do _____,

then

> you need to get in the shower or get cleaned up " . Usually gets him

> hopping with less arguements or stalling. I know of lot of his

> issues are Sensory; which complicates the whole process.

>

> Handwriting....oh boy; another biggy here. Makes all the school

> matters even more complicated. He can't hold the pencil correctly

> dispite years of work on 'grip'. Dysgraphia...been fighting that

one

> with the school for years. They sorta through adaptions in

> there...but don't actually push them through. Soooooo.. they give

me

> the " well... he doesn't ASK to use the computer etc... he just

gives

> up " My son WON'T ask for things. He just stresses, then blows.

> He doesn't want to be 'different' or stand out....just blend in.

>

> well.. I could babble forever as well. But just wanted to thank

you

> for your personal notes on the subject.

>

>

> Joyce

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The Family Medical Leave Act is not about my son's absences &

tardies, it's about mine. This is a Federal Law passed a few years

ago that guarantees employees time off from their jobs when they need

it due to illness or disability of themselves or a close family

member. Your company has to have a minimum # of employess to

qualify, I think it's 50 but don't quote me. Check with your

company's personnel or benefits department. There's paperwork; a

qualified person has to certify the disability (usually a doctor) &

state how much time & how often you need the time. Other people I

know have used this to get time off for family members recovering

from accidents, & one good friend was able to use it to recover from

her own father's suicide. Once you have it in place, your employer

cannot legally refuse to give you time off when you need it, up to 4

months per year cumulative. When you have it for a family member you

can choose to designate the time as vacation time & get paid for it

(but then you're using up your vacation time) or you choose to

designate it as non-paid time, but your employer MUST excuse you for

the time off. I work for a large company that has a very strict time-

off/attendance policy. Before FMLA, there were several times when my

son's school called me at work because he was having a melt-down, &

my managers would not let me leave work because we were too busy &

there was no time open on the official vacation calendar. I came

VERY close to having to choose between my job (and keeping a roof

over our heads & food on the table) & my son's needs. We have to be

recertified yearly by our doctor, but since FMLA any time I need to

be away from work to attend school meetings, take him to therapy, &

even on those mornings when he just CAN'T get up & so I'm very late

for work, any needs of his that are related to his disability, I

don't have to worry about repercussions at work. I verified very

early that Asperger's is covered under this law. This takes away one

area of stress, & we all know we need to cut stress in any areas we

can.

> > I just got done reading the messages of the last couple of days.

I

> > found this group about a week ago, & it seems I can relate to

> almost

> > everything.

> > My son has paced since he could walk, long before he was

diagnosed

> > with ADD & then AS. When he was very small he would have

episodes

> of

> > walking round & round the coffee table, and as he grew his

circles

> > grew larger. We used to say he was " doing his laps " . Unusual

> > behavior compared to " normal " kids yes, but it's never bothered

me

> > that much, mainly because it doesn't hurt anything & there've

> always

> > been much more serious behaviors to worry about.

> > The sleep problems, we've tried almost everything. During the

> school

> > year he's been so chronically late that they usually give up any

> > classes for him the 1st hour, because if he makes it at all he

> sleeps

> > through it. What drives me crazy is the difficulty in getting

him

> up

> > in the morning. He's almost 18 now, & we've had this battle for

12

> > years. He refuses to see anything wrong with it. I start out

most

> > school days totally stressed out, late for work (I'd be in big

> > trouble for it except that that our doctor fills out paperwork

> every

> > year to qualify me for Family Medical Leave Act attendance

> exceptions

> > & as such documents for my employer my son's disability AND I

have

> 2

> > very understanding immediate supervisors). If anyone has any

magic

> > solution to getting an AS teenager up in the morning, please let

me

> > know!

> > The angry meltdowns, with threatening words & gestures are too

> > familiar too. For a few years I could stay calm & handle them

ok,

> > quite often leaving the house for awhile. (I'm so glad the nearby

> > & Noble stays open til 11pm so I have a quiet, calm place

to

> > go when I need to.) Now, though, I don't know, they seem to get

to

> > me more than they used to. He's twice as big as I am now, that's

> > part of it, so the threatening behavior is more scary. Sometimes

> > though lately I just think that I'm plain weary of dealing with

> these

> > behaviors after so many years.

> > My son's handwriting still looks like a 3rd grader's. He will

only

> > use cursive when he officially has to sign his name to

something.

> He

> > believes that he was never taught cursive, but I know he had it

in

> > 4th grade plus I had workbooks for him at home. The dysgraphia

is

> > something we have to deal with not only in his IEP but usually

with

> > each individual teacher as well.

> > The personal hygiene issues we still deal with. I think we

finally

> > made headway last year when we finally! convinced him that part

of

> > his socialization problems were due to his not bathing as often

as

> he

> > needed to. Now he will do so when I tell him to, but even then

we

> > had to compromise that he only has to do so no more often than

> every

> > other day.

> > Yes, we are " overprotective " parents. We know that our kids

don't

> > behave & react to things the way other kids do, & society doesn't

> > understand that. We know that we can't just leave our kids with

> any

> > neighborhood babysitter; we have to be more selective. The other

> > side is, others who have " normal " kids don't understand the

strain

> it

> > puts on us even when they perceive that our kids are different,

and

> > others are often even afraid of our kids. When my son was 6, he

> had

> > to deal with a trauma caused by his father, as well as at that

time

> > his not-yet-diagnosed ADD & AS. We went through months of hell,

> > during which time he was put in Special Ed for Emotionally &

> > Behaviorally Disturbed kids. After awhile, different adults

> noticed

> > the strain on me, and commented " you can't go on like this, you

> need

> > a break " , everyone from a casual aquaintance to my mother & my

> > pastor. NOT ONE offered in any way to help me get a break, out

of

> 12

> > people who made such a comment. Years later I asked one of them

> > about it, & she told me candidly that everyone was " afraid to get

> > involved " . So if you get a chance to take a break from your

child,

> > from someone who's not afraid, grab it, & do NOT feel guilty.

That

> > brief break may be what you need to hold on to your own sanity.

> > I've read a number of books about AS, but this group brings to

> light

> > things that I see now are part of AS that I didn't really realize

> > before, & that is very comforting. I've been telling others for

> > years that " I don't try to EXCUSE my son's behavior, but I do try

> to

> > EXPLAIN it. "

> > I could add more about the posts of the past few days, but this

is

> > too long already. Anyway, THANKS EVERYBODY!

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Good to keep in mind - thanks for explaining. I'd heard something

about it in the past but just never knew how it worked.

> The Family Medical Leave Act is not about my son's absences &

> tardies, it's about mine. This is a Federal Law passed a few years

> ago that guarantees employees time off from their jobs when they

need

> it due to illness or disability of themselves or a close family

> member. Your company has to have a minimum # of employess to

> qualify, I think it's 50 but don't quote me. Check with your

> company's personnel or benefits department. There's paperwork; a

> qualified person has to certify the disability (usually a doctor) &

> state how much time & how often you need the time. Other people I

> know have used this to get time off for family members recovering

> from accidents, & one good friend was able to use it to recover

from

> her own father's suicide. Once you have it in place, your employer

> cannot legally refuse to give you time off when you need it, up to

4

> months per year cumulative. When you have it for a family member

you

> can choose to designate the time as vacation time & get paid for it

> (but then you're using up your vacation time) or you choose to

> designate it as non-paid time, but your employer MUST excuse you

for

> the time off. I work for a large company that has a very strict

time-

> off/attendance policy. Before FMLA, there were several times when

my

> son's school called me at work because he was having a melt-down, &

> my managers would not let me leave work because we were too busy &

> there was no time open on the official vacation calendar. I came

> VERY close to having to choose between my job (and keeping a roof

> over our heads & food on the table) & my son's needs. We have to

be

> recertified yearly by our doctor, but since FMLA any time I need to

> be away from work to attend school meetings, take him to therapy, &

> even on those mornings when he just CAN'T get up & so I'm very late

> for work, any needs of his that are related to his disability, I

> don't have to worry about repercussions at work. I verified very

> early that Asperger's is covered under this law. This takes away

one

> area of stress, & we all know we need to cut stress in any areas we

> can.

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