Guest guest Posted August 11, 2003 Report Share Posted August 11, 2003 Carolyn, One of the first things you need to do is get help for yourself. Just like on the airplane, they tell you do get your own oxygen first then help others. If you are falling apart, your son and family will too. That said, talk to your doctor and he/she will probably suggest counseling and/or anti-depressants. Don't cringe! It's not forever and it will greatly help you deal with your son. ABout your son, I don't have many answers. Find a pediatric neurologist you are comfortable with and go from there. My son is 6 and is still echolalic though sometimes, he answers actually work in the situation. Andy also wanders and it was a big problem when we were visiting my dad b/c he doesn't have a fence. I am still trying to find a good solution for that. One things that happened with both of my sons, is limiting or eliminating dairy. Andy doesn't drink milk so that wasn't to bad but I had to find a good sub for . (We use dari-free which is not soy.) And the boys do like grilled cheese made with soy cheese. Their behavior seemed a little better and the colds cleared up. Andy never qualified for OT is school. His handwriting is poor but not poor enough. , had OT for a year but has been dismissed as well. OT (occupational therapy) is difficult in school since they really don't address every issue. Most will not address sensory issues and that is a big one. I'm sure you will find more answers & suggestions from this group. Welcome and good luck. Sharon On Sunday, August 10, 2003, at 07:46 PM, Carolyn Holloway wrote: > Everyday pushes me a little closer to the edge of complete insanity! > > I can't live like this. I feel like I am constantly feeling sad, or > mad or > confused or embarrassed. Always apologizing to play group kids/moms and > others for his impulsivity. > > Please help! > > Carolyn in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2003 Report Share Posted August 11, 2003 Hi Carolyn, Welcome!! I think we all know how you feel. Sometimes I wonder if ill even make it through to the next hour. See my comments below. Near the edge... OUR concerns in no order after #1 are:IMPULSIVE!! (This is killing me!)Poor eye contact <~~ Is this really important to you? Most articles ive read about AS and Autistic children indicates they focus better if they dont make eye contact.Can act deaf <~~ If I call my sons name he just sits there, basically he doesnt know he is supposed to say "what". If I ask him to do something he just sits there. Again, he doesnt seem to understand that I want him to reply. I always follow up my questions with "YES or NO" or "do you understand" and I make him answer me. Wanders away from house- down road without anyone knowing he is gone <~~ I hate this.. my son did this ONE time and I put an end to it quickly. I actually installed some very inexpensive alarms on the doors and windows. He tried it and the alarm went off and he flipped out. He wont go near the doors now unless he is sure the alarms are off. Socially challenged <~~ He must have good role models. At school request in his IEP a buddy system be implemented. We use a child that is older. My son also goes to play therapy where the therapist and him work out scenerios with different toys. Social stories are good also, http://www.thegraycenter.org/sample_social_stories.htm Poor peer interactions <~~ Again the instructors have to intiate this. If you are part of a social group then teach him how to be social. Sometimes hurtful to self or others (slight) when frustrated <~~ Pretty typical. I have not found a really good method, but I explain to him that what he did was not "Ok", its against the rules. He just doesnt get the "you hurt someones feelings" so I dont even go there anymore. Hard to sit still at school <~~ There are multiple things that the instructors can try to get him to sit still. Could they integrate something he enjoys into some lessons? What about using an exercise ball to sit on, or a sit n move cushion, giving him an object like a koosh ball, squishy ball, when they want him to sit still. Weighted lap pads and vests seem to work also. The OT will help in this area. Echolalia <~~ I just read a really good article about this... As soon as I find the link again I will for sure send it your way. It addresses the reasons WHY they do it, and it also tells you HOW to deal with it.... Generally quiet - speaks when spoken to when he wants to.. Doesn't seem effected by punishment i.e.: behavior continues <~~ I have found that when I concentrate on the positive things he does and not making a huge deal out of the things he does wrong, he does more good things than bad things. Dont get me wrong, he still gets punished for doing bad things I just make a huge deal about the good ones.. Poor empathy Poor fine motor in regards to coloring/pencil holding, though good finemotor in other areas <~~~ Splintered skills.. makes things really hard to tackle.. The Occupational Therapist will help here. We use special grips at school for my son... but he still has problems. Hates to wear shorts/pants...ok in undies, occasional problems with tags inshirts <~~ Ugg..my son wont wear undies.. they absolutely send him up a wall. Sensory Integration Therapy can help with these things. Ask the OT about it. He has great balance - loves to climb. Loves to swim, play with trains!!, playground, scooter (though bad at pedaling trike), loves to watchairplanes and trucks, go to model train museums... He is smart, but not likeOMG smart. Does attach literal meanings to words... <~~ Sometimes this is the funniest part.. I always get a kick out of his ways of looking at things.. lol. SOmetimes it can be annoying because Im constantly having to think of new ways to rexplain things to him or ask him things. Try looking at things from his point of view.He has an IEP. He has attended 6 weeks of Special Day school- summer school.He will continue at a new school, within same district for preschool- alsospecial day classes. He is supposed to get an OT eval. What is OT exactly -what does it help, how? <~~~ Occupational therapy is a treatment that focuses on helping people achieve independence in all areas of their lives. Some people may think that occupational therapy is only for adults; children, after all, do not have occupations. But a child's main job is playing and learning, and an occupational therapist can evaluate a child's skills for play activities, school performance, and activities of daily living and compare them to what is developmentally appropriate for an age group. According to the American Occupational Therapy Association (AOTA), in addition to dealing with an individual's physical well-being, occupational therapy practitioners address psychological, social, and environmental factors that may hinder an individual's functioning in different areas of life. This unique approach makes occupational therapy a vital part of health care for children. "For children, their 'occupation' is learning through play and school. Just some of the activities that occupational therapists can address to meet children's needs are working on fine motor skills so that kids can grasp and release toys and develop good writing skills," explains S. Pierson, a pediatric occupational therapist. Pierson adds that occupational therapists also address hand-eye coordination to improve play skills, such as hitting a target, batting a ball, or copying from a blackboard. Consider some of the other ways that occupational therapists can help kids: A child with severe developmental delays may require help in learning some basic tasks, such as bathing, getting dressed, brushing her teeth, and feeding herself. An occupational therapist might help a child with a behavioral disorder learn anger-management techniques. Instead of hitting others or acting out, the child would learn positive ways to deal with anger, such as writing about feelings or participating in a physical activity. An occupational therapist can teach a child with a physical disability the coordination skills required to feed herself, use a computer, or increase the speed and legibility of her handwriting. An occupational therapist can evaluate a child's needs for specialized equipment, such as wheelchairs, splints, bathing seats, or dressing devices. Are physical therapy and occupational therapy the same? Although both types of therapy help children improve the quality of their lives, there are differences. Physical therapy deals with the issues of pain, strength, joint range of motion, endurance, and gross motor functioning, whereas occupational therapy deals with fine motor skills, visual-perceptual skills, strength, cognitive skills, and sensory-processing deficits. http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/ill/occupational_therapy.html Echolalia - this I hope will fade in time. Any experiences with this. Hemainly mimics cartoons or videos. Verbatim, excellent tone reproduction,inflection, etc) The impulsivity and none stop GO, leads me to thinkADD/ADHD and I am STILL trying to figure them out. <~~ It is possible that he has a comorbid disorder, meaning he has both ADHD and AS. http://www.ddleadership.org/aspergers/courses/esimplications/difficulties.html My son has delayed echolalia. It sometimes drives me up the wall, but ive learned to ignore it. If I mimic him, it really ticks him off and he stops..lol. The doctor mentioned BRIEFLY Ritalin and we both cringed!! (I hate to openthat can of worms....but any input is helpful) <~~ Ok, everyone im just stating my opinon..not making any judgements about anyone here. I have chosen not to medicate my son at this point. I want to give my son ways to cope with his problems without medications. Plus I feel that sufficient research has not been done to convience me that these medications will not have a severe long term effect on my childs future.I really am having a hard time. He knocks things down for NO understandableREASON. Runs into street occasionally! Pushes brother. Very hard to go torestaurant or shopping...Very willful, escalating tantrums over littlethings. <~~ Sensory Issues for most of those things. Sensory Integration Dysfunction is common amoung children with ASD's. Read the out of sync child to get a better idea of what this is (if you dont know). Here is some info about Sensory Integration Dysfunction: http://www.sinetwork.org/faqs/index.html Question: What is Sensory Integration Dysfunction (DSI) and how can it be treated? The Condition What is Sensory Integration Dysfunction? Dysfunction in Sensory Integration (DSI) is a problem in processing sensations which causes difficulties in daily life. DSI is a complex neurological disorder, manifested by difficulty detecting, modulating, discriminating or integrating sensation adaptively. DSI causes children to process sensation from the environment or from their bodies in an inaccurate way, resulting in "sensory seeking" or "sensory avoiding" patterns or 'dyspraxia," a motor planning problem. What does DSI look like? DSI and Sensory Seeking These children have nervous systems that do not always process that sensory input is "coming in" to the brain. They are under-responsive to sensation. As a result, they seek out more intense or longer duration sensory experiences. Some behaviors that can be observed are: Hyper-activity as they seek more and more movement input Unawareness of touch or pain, or touching others too often or too hard (may seem aggressive) Engaging in unsafe behaviors, such as climbing too high Enjoying sounds that are too loud, such as TV or radio volume DSI and Sensory Avoiding These children have nervous systems that feel sensation too easily or too much. They are overly responsive to sensation. As a result, they may have "fight or flight" responses to sensation, a condition called "sensory defensiveness." Some behaviors that can be observed are: Responding to being touched with aggression or withdrawal Afraid of, or becomes sick with movement and heights Very cautious and unwilling to take risks or try new things Uncomfortable in loud or busy environments such as sports events, malls Very picky eater and/or overly sensitive to food smells DSI and Dyspraxia These children are clumsy and awkward. They have particular problems with new motor skills and activities. Some behaviors that can be observed are: Very poor fine motor skills such as handwriting Very poor gross motor skills such as kicking, catching, throwing balls Difficulty imitating movements such as "Simon Says" Trouble with balance, sequences of movements and bilateral coordination The Treatment What is the Treatment for Sensory Integration Dysfunction? Occupational Therapy (OT) is used to treat Sensory Integration Dysfunction. The goal of OT is to enable children to take part in the normal "occupations" of childhood - such as playing with friends, enjoying school, eating, dressing and sleeping - which are often problems for children with DSI. Each child is provided with an individualized treatment plan. Direct treatment often occurs at a Children's Hospital or in a private practice setting. Therapists sometimes also consult at home or school. Parents are directly involved in treatment sessions so that they can learn more about their child and, together with the therapist, can figure out how to incorporate their family's priorities into treatment. What does Occupation Therapy look like? Treatment is fun! It occurs in a large, sensory-enriched gym with lots of swinging, spinning, tactile, visual, auditory and taste opportunities. Using an approach we call "STEP-SI" (pronounced "step - S - I") with input from parents, we begin to understand how the child perceives sensation and how that affects his/her attention, emotions, motor skills or learning abilities. We evaluate for each child: Sensory - the responses in each sensory system (e.g. movement, touch, taste, etc.) Task - the need for more vs. less complexity and structure in completing activities Environment - the responses to "enriched' compared to "simple" surroundings Predictability - the necessity for having expected vs. new experiences Self-Monitoring - the child's ability to preview and adjust responses before acting Interactions - the need for less or more intense interactions with others The overall goals of Occupational Therapy are to improve Social Participation, Self-Esteem, Self-Regulation and Sensory-motor Abilities. In addition, we strive to give parents a toolbox of ideas to use in helping their child become regulated and coordinated. We support parents perception that their child's disability is real, even though it is a "hidden handicap." We also help parents to become strong advocates for their child at school and in other situations. I can't live like this. I feel like I am constantly feeling sad, or mad orconfused or embarrassed. Always apologizing to play group kids/moms andothers for his impulsivity. <~~ Stop apologizing for these things. Your son is reacting to things in his environment that his brain doesnt know how to deal with. If a child had Downs syndrome and did these things no one would look at you disaprovingly because they could see the child had a physically identifiable disorder. You will find ways to make these experiences less stressful and easier to deal with. Does your school district have an Autism team? Pick their brains and ask tons of questions. Any and all suggestions are needed. We try to redirect behavior whenpossible. We use time out on the stairs, we take things away that arethrown/pushed. Also, the school and I have been working on getting my son to label his emotions. I carry a page with different faces expressing different emotions. When he is happy I will point to the one that looks like him and label it. When he is mad, I do the same thing. Now we are working on other peoples facial expressions. This has helped reduce the tantrums and some of the rages. Now he just shakes and tells me He is angry, which is so much better than a rage that lasts for 30 minutes. Encourage his use of words, again praise him for using his words correctly. Research, reasearch, reasearch.. read everything you can get your hands on about Aspergers. I love Tony Attwoods book, Aspergers Syndrome. Please help!Carolyn in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2003 Report Share Posted August 11, 2003 Oh, Carolyn, I can so relate. Your son sounds like my daughter at that age. She never sat still. I put a 'leash' on her at 18 months old or she would just take off in stores, or anywhere. She climbed anything and everything. Does he have sleep problems? My daughter has had them all her life (she's 14 now). She was diagnosed adhd/odd (oppositional defiant disorder) at 2nd grade, then aspergers in 6th and social anxiety has been added now. Beth has been impulsive all of her life, to this day. It's very difficult. My one 'saving' grace is that she is very introverted and shy (social anxiety) and so that has helped her not to get in much trouble outside our home. She saves it all for INSIDE our home.....lucky us! Had a very challenging day today, in fact, which I'll send in a separate email. Ritalin helped...we started it in 2nd grade. We tried several meds before we found one that worked though. That's often how it goes, so if you decide to go the med route, don't give up. Be patient and be persistent. We are thankful for medications...they help my daughter be calmer, happier, more attentive, more social; thus they help us tremendously as well. Good luck.... Toodles!>^..^<Maralee Near the edge... Everyday pushes me a little closer to the edge of complete insanity!Oh, where to begin..ok, a more formal intro than random recent postings..I am Carolyn, almost 35 (2 days) and mom to 2 boys. (10/13/99) andour little tank at just barely 1 yr. Husband, Jeff. is our current challenge..or should I say ongoing challenge.Our ex-pediatrician referred us to the local school district after 's 3y/o appt, citing social concerns/delays. We waited a few months and wentahead and got that assessment. They very recently dx him with AS. isalso echolalic and this too gets to me too.We just met with the new dr. This dr. was most concerned with 'simpulsivity. Straight said - not autism. Didn't make a call on As as of yet.The doctor saw the true - sometime rambunctious and wild and otherscalm and sweet. He spoke with a little and later said he felt was actually quite interactive. The doc agreed to order a battery of test toinclude a test for problems with yeast, and gluten, I believe. We are juststarting to pay attention to labels ..red #40, etc and ALL advice isneeded...OUR concerns in no order after #1 are:IMPULSIVE!! (This is killing me!)Poor eye contactCan act deafWanders away from house- down road without anyone knowing he is goneSocially challengedPoor peer interactionsSometimes hurtful to self or others (slight) when frustratedHard to sit still at schoolEcholaliaGenerally quiet - speaks when spoken to when he wants to..Doesn't seem effected by punishment i.e.: behavior continuesPoor empathyPoor fine motor in regards to coloring/pencil holding, though good finemotor in other areasHates to wear shorts/pants...ok in undies, occasional problems with tags inshirtsHe has great balance - loves to climb. Loves to swim, play with trains!!, playground, scooter (though bad at pedaling trike), loves to watchairplanes and trucks, go to model train museums... He is smart, but not likeOMG smart. Does attach literal meanings to words...He has an IEP. He has attended 6 weeks of Special Day school- summer school.He will continue at a new school, within same district for preschool- alsospecial day classes. He is supposed to get an OT eval. What is OT exactly -what does it help, how?Echolalia - this I hope will fade in time. Any experiences with this. Hemainly mimics cartoons or videos. Verbatim, excellent tone reproduction,inflection, etc) The impulsivity and none stop GO, leads me to thinkADD/ADHD and I am STILL trying to figure them out.The doctor mentioned BRIEFLY Ritalin and we both cringed!! (I hate to openthat can of worms....but any input is helpful)I really am having a hard time. He knocks things down for NO understandableREASON. Runs into street occasionally! Pushes brother. Very hard to go torestaurant or shopping...Very willful, escalating tantrums over littlethings.I can't live like this. I feel like I am constantly feeling sad, or mad orconfused or embarrassed. Always apologizing to play group kids/moms andothers for his impulsivity.Any and all suggestions are needed. We try to redirect behavior whenpossible. We use time out on the stairs, we take things away that arethrown/pushed.Please help!Carolyn in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2003 Report Share Posted August 11, 2003 Carolyn, Near the edge? Just be glad that you haven't dropped off. My son, A.J. has had a rough day and I had to take some "me" time or I would have considered some type of unforgivable punishment (?). I am an older parent as you are - not that that matters. I had my first son in 1991 and while he is handicapped (Cerebral Palsy) he is wonderful. I lost a child in 1996 and then I found out that I was pregnant. I was terrified. I did everything I could to have a "normal" pregnancy. At 21 weeks I was put on bed rest and at 33 1/2 weeks I delivered. While not quite normal, everything appeared OK and I hoped for the best. My A.J. appeared wild but I love him anyway. At 4 I realized that it was more than parental indulgence. I hate the fact that he is on meds -- I absolutely cringe every day - BUT THEY MAKE HIM BE A BETTER A.J. Get to a doctor that you can trust. Get help. Meds can be temporary. Actually, the meds A.J. started on are no longer what he is taking. He knows that his meds help him - sometimes as a parent you need to bite the bullet --- give it a try and watch!!! If you appreciate the changes then maybe they are right -- if not, keep looking. Dont' misunderstand me, I would rather be committed than subject my angel to something wrong. But . . . I love him and I need to do what is best for him. Keep in touch -- everyone on this list understands where you are and knows the trauma it can bring. Good luck, Frances -----Original Message-----From: Carolyn Holloway Sent: Sunday, August 10, 2003 7:47 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: Near the edge...Everyday pushes me a little closer to the edge of complete insanity!Oh, where to begin..ok, a more formal intro than random recent postings..I am Carolyn, almost 35 (2 days) and mom to 2 boys. (10/13/99) andour little tank at just barely 1 yr. Husband, Jeff. is our current challenge..or should I say ongoing challenge.Our ex-pediatrician referred us to the local school district after 's 3y/o appt, citing social concerns/delays. We waited a few months and wentahead and got that assessment. They very recently dx him with AS. isalso echolalic and this too gets to me too.We just met with the new dr. This dr. was most concerned with 'simpulsivity. Straight said - not autism. Didn't make a call on As as of yet.The doctor saw the true - sometime rambunctious and wild and otherscalm and sweet. He spoke with a little and later said he felt was actually quite interactive. The doc agreed to order a battery of test toinclude a test for problems with yeast, and gluten, I believe. We are juststarting to pay attention to labels ..red #40, etc and ALL advice isneeded...OUR concerns in no order after #1 are:IMPULSIVE!! (This is killing me!)Poor eye contactCan act deafWanders away from house- down road without anyone knowing he is goneSocially challengedPoor peer interactionsSometimes hurtful to self or others (slight) when frustratedHard to sit still at schoolEcholaliaGenerally quiet - speaks when spoken to when he wants to..Doesn't seem effected by punishment i.e.: behavior continuesPoor empathyPoor fine motor in regards to coloring/pencil holding, though good finemotor in other areasHates to wear shorts/pants...ok in undies, occasional problems with tags inshirtsHe has great balance - loves to climb. Loves to swim, play with trains!!, playground, scooter (though bad at pedaling trike), loves to watchairplanes and trucks, go to model train museums... He is smart, but not likeOMG smart. Does attach literal meanings to words...He has an IEP. He has attended 6 weeks of Special Day school- summer school.He will continue at a new school, within same district for preschool- alsospecial day classes. He is supposed to get an OT eval. What is OT exactly -what does it help, how?Echolalia - this I hope will fade in time. Any experiences with this. Hemainly mimics cartoons or videos. Verbatim, excellent tone reproduction,inflection, etc) The impulsivity and none stop GO, leads me to thinkADD/ADHD and I am STILL trying to figure them out.The doctor mentioned BRIEFLY Ritalin and we both cringed!! (I hate to openthat can of worms....but any input is helpful)I really am having a hard time. He knocks things down for NO understandableREASON. Runs into street occasionally! Pushes brother. Very hard to go torestaurant or shopping...Very willful, escalating tantrums over littlethings.I can't live like this. I feel like I am constantly feeling sad, or mad orconfused or embarrassed. Always apologizing to play group kids/moms andothers for his impulsivity.Any and all suggestions are needed. We try to redirect behavior whenpossible. We use time out on the stairs, we take things away that arethrown/pushed.Please help!Carolyn in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2003 Report Share Posted August 11, 2003 Carolyn, I'd love to see this article as well. Sharon > Echolalia - this I hope will fade in time. Any experiences with this. > He > mainly mimics cartoons or videos. Verbatim, excellent tone > reproduction, > inflection, etc) The impulsivity and none stop GO, leads me to think > ADD/ADHD and I am STILL trying to figure them out. <~~ It is possible > that he has a comorbid disorder, meaning he has both ADHD and AS. > http://www.ddleadership.org/aspergers/courses/esimplications/ > difficulties.html My son has delayed echolalia. It sometimes drives > me up the wall, but ive learned to ignore it. If I mimic him, it > really ticks him off and he stops..lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2003 Report Share Posted August 11, 2003 Wow Carolyn, First of all let me say y0ou have come to the right place. I like you feel the same way. Very overwhelmed and frazzled. We found out in Feb of this year that my son Logan (5) has pdd-nos/high functioning Aspergers. A lot of the things you described in your email fit me son to a T. I am always apologizing to everyone and everywhere as I too am embarassed as I feel like they think that its my fault he is that way becuase of behaviour issues. The only thing that I can suggest is taking it one day at a time and look into all the services in your area that would benefit him. My son is currently in speech therapy to stop the echolica which is nearly gone now, still the occasional phrases from shows lingering, ABA, and occupational therapy. I also try to involve my son in a number of activities to help with his social interaction. I also try to read up on all aspects of AS to better be prepared for what is to come, and to handle things with the school so that they can better handle and understand my son. Hope this is some help to you. I think a lot of the people here have felt the way that you do at sometime or another so you are not alone. LOL in Ajax. _________________________________________________________________ Add photos to your e-mail with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*. http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2003 Report Share Posted August 11, 2003 Carolyn, Hang in there and take some deeps breaths. Make sure you make some time for you!!! I know this is so hard, especially when your kids are little. But it is REALLY important!! Find someone - a relative is best because they probably will understand him better - to take him for a few hours and go take time for yourself. Go shopping, get a manicure, sit at Starbucks and sip a latte, just do something " normal! " You will be amazed at how much better you will feel after and how much easier you will deal with the inevitable meltdowns, impulsivity, and tantrums!! Saturday night my husband and I went to see Blue Man Group. We had a marvelous time and it was so wonderful to eat what we want, enjoy really LOUD music and not have to leave, and even enjoy a glass of wine. Besides, the arena we saw them at was at our old college. It was so fun to remember the fun we had pre-kids!!! The next day, was horrible, but I just smiled and sent him outside to play!!! As far as the rest goes, you got lots of good answers from others. I know I fought long and hard against medicating my son. Now I wish I had done it a lot sooner. You would not deny your son insulin if he was diabetic. You would give him seizure mediation if he was having siezures. If he has a chemical imbalance that is affecting his ability to control his impulsiveness, the ritalin will help. And it is just temporary. My son has been on it for a little over 2 years now (since he was 5)and the change in incredible. AND, he does not seem to need it like in the past and we are considering beginning to cut back on the amount!!! Also, I know you are in San Diego. Call Childrens Hospital and get a free OT evaluation. Or, if you have insurance, get a referral to get the complete evaluation which is much more thorouh. Your son sounds like he has a LOT of sensory issues. We did OT for 2 1/2 years through Childrens and he has very few sensory issues now (mainly hearing, which OT did not address). There is a clinic in Rancho Bernardo which if I remember correctly is near you. They were wonderful. But, call soon. They have a waiting list! Take care! Debi (the one in San Diego) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 Hi Maralee, No, is a great sleeper. If tired enough, you will walk upstairs with blankies in hand and just crash in his bed. It’s great when grandma’s here trying to get the little one to sleep! lol Lots of people ask me about his sleep. is not introverted – he will start belting out Jungle Book to anyone who will listen. The other day in the grocery store, he started “yelling” for Mowgli. “ Mowgli, where are you?” and then saw a firefighter and told him, “ First, ya gotta loosen up..get real loose. Then weave a little....give me a big bear roar! Really scare me!” The firefighter was quite amused and recited verses with him. (he musta had kids!) looked like a trained circus animal in a shopping cart.. Lol Thanks for your thought and support. Carolyn Oh, Carolyn, I can so relate. Your son sounds like my daughter at that age. She never sat still. I put a 'leash' on her at 18 months old or she would just take off in stores, or anywhere. She climbed anything and everything. Does he have sleep problems? My daughter has had them all her life (she's 14 now). She was diagnosed adhd/odd (oppositional defiant disorder) at 2nd grade, then aspergers in 6th and social anxiety has been added now. Beth has been impulsive all of her life, to this day. It's very difficult. My one 'saving' grace is that she is very introverted and shy (social anxiety) and so that has helped her not to get in much trouble outside our home. She saves it all for INSIDE our home.....lucky us! Had a very challenging day today, in fact, which I'll send in a separate email. Ritalin helped...we started it in 2nd grade. We tried several meds before we found one that worked though. That's often how it goes, so if you decide to go the med route, don't give up. Be patient and be persistent. We are thankful for medications...they help my daughter be calmer, happier, more attentive, more social; thus they help us tremendously as well. Good luck.... Toodles! >^..^< Maralee Near the edge... Everyday pushes me a little closer to the edge of complete insanity! Oh, where to begin..ok, a more formal intro than random recent postings.. I am Carolyn, almost 35 (2 days) and mom to 2 boys. (10/13/99) and our little tank at just barely 1 yr. Husband, Jeff. is our current challenge..or should I say ongoing challenge. Our ex-pediatrician referred us to the local school district after 's 3 y/o appt, citing social concerns/delays. We waited a few months and went ahead and got that assessment. They very recently dx him with AS. is also echolalic and this too gets to me too. We just met with the new dr. This dr. was most concerned with 's impulsivity. Straight said - not autism. Didn't make a call on As as of yet. The doctor saw the true - sometime rambunctious and wild and others calm and sweet. He spoke with a little and later said he felt was actually quite interactive. The doc agreed to order a battery of test to include a test for problems with yeast, and gluten, I believe. We are just starting to pay attention to labels ..red #40, etc and ALL advice is needed... OUR concerns in no order after #1 are: IMPULSIVE!! (This is killing me!) Poor eye contact Can act deaf Wanders away from house- down road without anyone knowing he is gone Socially challenged Poor peer interactions Sometimes hurtful to self or others (slight) when frustrated Hard to sit still at school Echolalia Generally quiet - speaks when spoken to when he wants to.. Doesn't seem effected by punishment i.e.: behavior continues Poor empathy Poor fine motor in regards to coloring/pencil holding, though good fine motor in other areas Hates to wear shorts/pants...ok in undies, occasional problems with tags in shirts He has great balance - loves to climb. Loves to swim, play with trains!!, playground, scooter (though bad at pedaling trike), loves to watch airplanes and trucks, go to model train museums... He is smart, but not like OMG smart. Does attach literal meanings to words... He has an IEP. He has attended 6 weeks of Special Day school- summer school. He will continue at a new school, within same district for preschool- also special day classes. He is supposed to get an OT eval. What is OT exactly - what does it help, how? Echolalia - this I hope will fade in time. Any experiences with this. He mainly mimics cartoons or videos. Verbatim, excellent tone reproduction, inflection, etc) The impulsivity and none stop GO, leads me to think ADD/ADHD and I am STILL trying to figure them out. The doctor mentioned BRIEFLY Ritalin and we both cringed!! (I hate to open that can of worms....but any input is helpful) I really am having a hard time. He knocks things down for NO understandable REASON. Runs into street occasionally! Pushes brother. Very hard to go to restaurant or shopping...Very willful, escalating tantrums over little things. I can't live like this. I feel like I am constantly feeling sad, or mad or confused or embarrassed. Always apologizing to play group kids/moms and others for his impulsivity. Any and all suggestions are needed. We try to redirect behavior when possible. We use time out on the stairs, we take things away that are thrown/pushed. Please help! Carolyn in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 T.K., Thanks so much for your incredible reply. I have a lot of research to do! I wanted to respond to several things. OUR concerns in no order after #1 are: IMPULSIVE!! (This is killing me!) Poor eye contact <~~ Is this really important to you? Most articles ive read about AS and Autistic children indicates they focus better if they dont make eye contact. It seems important to preschool teachers, school officials, etc...I think naturally, I expect eye contact. I need to retrain myself in a lot of areas. Can act deaf <~~ If I call my sons name he just sits there, basically he doesnt know he is supposed to say " what " . If I ask him to do something he just sits there. Again, he doesnt seem to understand that I want him to reply. I always follow up my questions with " YES or NO " or " do you understand " and I make him answer me. I also offer a yes or no or do you understand...I still often get no response. Depends what his activity is at the time. Wanders away from house- down road without anyone knowing he is gone <~~ I hate this.. my son did this ONE time and I put an end to it quickly. I actually installed some very inexpensive alarms on the doors and windows. He tried it and the alarm went off and he flipped out. He wont go near the doors now unless he is sure the alarms are off. Good idea... Socially challenged <~~ He must have good role models. At school request in his IEP a buddy system be implemented. We use a child that is older. My son also goes to play therapy where the therapist and him work out scenerios with different toys. Social stories are good also, http://www.thegraycenter.org/sample_social_stories.htm <http://www.thegraycenter.org/sample_social_stories.htm> My impression is there will be ‘typical’ peer models within his preschool class..which starts is 8 days.. Poor peer interactions <~~ Again the instructors have to intiate this. If you are part of a social group then teach him how to be social. I think he’s knows what we expect, though can’t get there consistently. Echolalia <~~ I just read a really good article about this... As soon as I find the link again I will for sure send it your way. It addresses the reasons WHY they do it, and it also tells you HOW to deal with it.... Thank you..I have read and passed this to hubby. Generally quiet - speaks when spoken to when he wants to.. Doesn't seem effected by punishment i.e.: behavior continues <~~ I have found that when I concentrate on the positive things he does and not making a huge deal out of the things he does wrong, he does more good things than bad things. Dont get me wrong, he still gets punished for doing bad things I just make a huge deal about the good ones.. We try this too. We have tried everything! Poor empathy Poor fine motor in regards to coloring/pencil holding, though good fine motor in other areas <~~~ Splintered skills.. makes things really hard to tackle.. The Occupational Therapist will help here. We use special grips at school for my son... but he still has problems. Hates to wear shorts/pants...ok in undies, occasional problems with tags in shirts <~~ Ugg..my son wont wear undies.. they absolutely send him up a wall. Sensory Integration Therapy can help with these things. Ask the OT about it. I have requested an OT eval through our doc/insurance He has great balance - loves to climb. Loves to swim, play with trains!!, playground, scooter (though bad at pedaling trike), loves to watch airplanes and trucks, go to model train museums... He is smart, but not like OMG smart. Does attach literal meanings to words... <~~ Sometimes this is the funniest part.. I always get a kick out of his ways of looking at things.. lol. SOmetimes it can be annoying because Im constantly having to think of new ways to rexplain things to him or ask him things. Try looking at things from his point of view. I agree. The impulsivity and none stop GO, leads me to think ADD/ADHD and I am STILL trying to figure them out. <~~ It is possible that he has a comorbid disorder, meaning he has both ADHD and AS. http://www.ddleadership.org/aspergers/courses/esimplications/difficulties.html <http://www.ddleadership.org/aspergers/courses/esimplications/difficulties.html> My son has delayed echolalia. It sometimes drives me up the wall, but ive learned to ignore it. If I mimic him, it really ticks him off and he stops..lol. I used to ask “Who says that?” and he would say “Bob the Builder.” or some character. Now when I ask him, “who says that?” he says “ME!” lol I really am having a hard time. He knocks things down for NO understandable REASON. Runs into street occasionally! Pushes brother. Very hard to go to restaurant or shopping...Very willful, escalating tantrums over little things. <~~ Sensory Issues for most of those things. Sensory Integration Dysfunction is common amoung children with ASD's. Read the out of sync child to get a better idea of what this is (if you dont know). I will read more about sensory issues .. Thanks for the links I can't live like this. I feel like I am constantly feeling sad, or mad or confused or embarrassed. Always apologizing to play group kids/moms and others for his impulsivity. <~~ Stop apologizing for these things. Your son is reacting to things in his environment that his brain doesnt know how to deal with. If a child had Downs syndrome and did these things no one would look at you disaprovingly because they could see the child had a physically identifiable disorder. You will find ways to make these experiences less stressful and easier to deal with. Does your school district have an Autism team? Pick their brains and ask tons of questions. I don’t think the district has an Autism team. I asked specific questions about who was trained to deal with Asperger’s kids. etc...and truly got the “all of our specialist are very good...” BS! He won’t have his own aide. Any and all suggestions are needed. We try to redirect behavior when possible. We use time out on the stairs, we take things away that are thrown/pushed. Research, reasearch, reasearch.. read everything you can get your hands on about Aspergers. I love Tony Attwoods book, Aspergers Syndrome. Tony Attwood is speaking in San Diego in October. Any suggestions on how to approach the district to get them to send some staff? It’s $120.00 p/p after Aug 31. Thanks T.K., and all for the support and info. Carolyn in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 IMPULSIVE!! (This is killing me!)Poor eye contact <~~ Is this really important to you? Most articles ive read about AS and Autistic children indicates they focus better if they dont make eye contact.It seems important to preschool teachers, school officials, etc...I think naturally, I expect eye contact. I need to retrain myself in a lot of areas. **I encourage it but dont concentrate on it. I always tell him good eye contact when he does it appropraitely during conversations. Through all this, ive started watching people in general and you would be surprised how many of them dont use eye contact, lol. Maybe someone else has a suggestion for you on this one ** Can act deaf <~~ If I call my sons name he just sits there, basically he doesnt know he is supposed to say "what". If I ask him to do something he just sits there. Again, he doesnt seem to understand that I want him to reply. I always follow up my questions with "YES or NO" or "do you understand" and I make him answer me.I also offer a yes or no or do you understand...I still often get no response. Depends what his activity is at the time. **When he does answer say, nice words, thank you for responding thats wonderful..basically positive positive positive.. He will get it, and as he matures he will get it also. I wont move until he answers me. It can be exhausting, cant it?? ** Socially challenged <~~ He must have good role models. At school request in his IEP a buddy system be implemented. We use a child that is older. My son also goes to play therapy where the therapist and him work out scenerios with different toys. Social stories are good also, http://www.thegraycenter.org/sample_social_stories.htm <http://www.thegraycenter.org/sample_social_stories.htm> My impression is there will be ‘typical’ peer models within his preschool class..which starts is 8 days.. **thats what his preschool class was like, and he just wouldnt interact with the children. Hopefully they will understand that he most likely isnt going to spontaneously interact with the children or if he does it may not be completely correct. Myself and his school had to (and still are) teach him how to be someones friend and how to intiate conversation and play with his peers. His school also had older children come in and be his "friend". His peer interaction after this "buddy system" was intiated was much better. ** Poor peer interactions <~~ Again the instructors have to intiate this. If you are part of a social group then teach him how to be social. I think he’s knows what we expect, though can’t get there consistently. **He will get there, maybe not completely but it will improve. ** Doesn't seem effected by punishment i.e.: behavior continues <~~ I have found that when I concentrate on the positive things he does and not making a huge deal out of the things he does wrong, he does more good things than bad things. Dont get me wrong, he still gets punished for doing bad things I just make a huge deal about the good ones.. We try this too. We have tried everything! **Keep it up..he will get it. The preschool staff will hopefully find some alternative ways to help you. Im guessing that some of the things he does is because of sensory issues and as you and him work with the OT it will improve. As he begins to get better at using his words to label his emotions, it will also improve. It will improve with time as well. Just keep it up ** The impulsivity and none stop GO, leads me to thinkADD/ADHD and I am STILL trying to figure them out. <~~ It is possible that he has a comorbid disorder, meaning he has both ADHD and AS. http://www.ddleadership.org/aspergers/courses/esimplications/difficulties.html <http://www.ddleadership.org/aspergers/courses/esimplications/difficulties.html> My son has delayed echolalia. It sometimes drives me up the wall, but ive learned to ignore it. If I mimic him, it really ticks him off and he stops..lol.I used to ask “Who says that?” and he would say “Bob the Builder.” or some character. Now when I ask him, “who says that?” he says “ME!” lol ** Now thats funny. Sounds like my son. Its like 20 questions, just to get a simple answer sometimes, lol.**I can't live like this. I feel like I am constantly feeling sad, or mad orconfused or embarrassed. Always apologizing to play group kids/moms andothers for his impulsivity. <~~ Stop apologizing for these things. Your son is reacting to things in his environment that his brain doesnt know how to deal with. If a child had Downs syndrome and did these things no one would look at you disaprovingly because they could see the child had a physically identifiable disorder. You will find ways to make these experiences less stressful and easier to deal with. Does your school district have an Autism team? Pick their brains and ask tons of questions. I don’t think the district has an Autism team. I asked specific questions about who was trained to deal with Asperger’s kids. etc...and truly got the “all of our specialist are very good...” BS! He won’t have his own aide. **I love this response, NOT. Everyone seems to be an expert, but no one knows exactly what to do. They must be trained, that is all there is to it.** Tony Attwood is speaking in San Diego in October. Any suggestions on how to approach the district to get them to send some staff? It’s $120.00 p/p after Aug 31. ** As I say, DING DING... thats the key.. See you are already a pro and didnt even know it. You can at any time request the credentials for any person that works with your son. By law they have to provide it. I would again ask them how many asperger children they have worked with. If they give you that BS reply, say that you have found a wonderful way for everyone to get more specific information about Aspergers, and it is your request for the district to send his instructor (or whoever you want) and YOURSELF to this conference. You can, if you choose, request that they pay for your ticket. Carolyn in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 About the Atwood thing..... Teachers, all teachers, are required to go to things like this in order to create a record of professional development activities and courses. When time comes for raises and like that, it is this record (among other things) that school officials want to see. In many districts, a good record of professional development can mean the difference between getting a raise and not getting one. So you can tell his teacher & c that they could count this conference as professional development, and that might make it more attractive to them. I find that if I appeal to officials' self-interest, I get a lot better results. Annie, who loves ya annie@... -- No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth. -- Southey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2003 Report Share Posted August 19, 2003 HI Carolyn, The suggestion I have for the eye contact thing is that my son too is difficult to look us into the eye. However when he talks to us and isn't looking at us or in our general direction. We ask him who he is talking to and when he says us we tell him then can you look at us then. This was what our speech therapist started and it seems to be working very well. He is making more contact with us and knows now that when he looks us in the eye he has our full attention which he loves more than anything else. Hope this helps you. in Ajax >Re: Near the edge... > IMPULSIVE!! (This is killing me!) > Poor eye contact <~~ Is this really important to you? Most articles >ive read about AS and Autistic children indicates they focus better if they >dont make eye contact.It seems important to preschool teachers, school >officials, etc...I think naturally, I expect eye contact. I need to retrain >myself in a lot of areas. > **I encourage it but dont concentrate on it. I always tell him good eye >contact when he does it appropraitely during conversations. Through all >this, ive started watching people in general and you would be surprised how >many of them dont use eye contact, lol. Maybe someone else has a >suggestion for you on this one ** > _________________________________________________________________ MSN 8 with e-mail virus protection service: 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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