joke

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> >> >> > >> > >: SPEEDING TICKETS...> > >> > >> > >> > >A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The> > > officer says, "I clocked you at 80 mile per hour,> > > sir."> > > The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise> > > control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."> > >> > > Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly> > > from the passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear,> > > you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."> > >> > > As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks> > > over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your> > > mouth shut for once?"> > >> > > The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be> > > thankful your radar detector went off when it did."> > >> > > As the officer makes out the second ticket for the> > > illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his> > > wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman,> > > can't you keep your mouth shut."> > >> > > The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're> > > not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic> > > $75 fine."> > >> > > The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had> > > it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that> > > I could get my license out of my back pocket."> > >> > > The wife says," Now, dear, you know very well that> > > you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear> > > your seat belt when you're driving."> > >> > > And as the police officer is writing out the third> > > ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY> > > DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP??"> > >> > > The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does> > > your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"> > > (the killer line is next )> > >> > > "Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been> > > drinking."> > >