Guest guest Posted August 8, 1999 Report Share Posted August 8, 1999 Hi Tasha, At 04:05 AM 8/8/99 -0700, you wrote: >Are we allowed to vent? I hope so ). Welcome to the list, and yes you can " vent " . Have a question: If your problems are possibly surgery, what's the surgery. Also, people young in age rarely get really good (or undistracted) medical attention. The philosophy seems to be " You'll grow out of it. " As one who didn't, I have serious concern for the quality of care you might get. Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 1999 Report Share Posted August 8, 1999 Hi Ken!, My surgry was scoliosis. (a curve in the spinal cord). And they took a leg bone out, so that was 2 ooperations there (i've had serveral other operations but for other things). Love and Hugs Tasha Re: Intro > > >Hi Tasha, > >At 04:05 AM 8/8/99 -0700, you wrote: >>Are we allowed to vent? I hope so ). > > Welcome to the list, and yes you can " vent " . > > Have a question: If your problems are possibly surgery, what's the >surgery. Also, people young in age rarely get really good (or undistracted) >medical attention. The philosophy seems to be " You'll grow out of it. " > > As one who didn't, I have serious concern for the quality of care >you might get. > > Ken > >--------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 1999 Report Share Posted August 8, 1999 In a message dated 8/8/99 4:16:21 AM Eastern Daylight Time, tezsgirl@... writes: << Just a little Intro on me. My name is Natasha (please call me Tasha) >> Welcome to the group, Tasha. You will wonderful, supportive, caring, and informative people here. You can vent, cry, offer information, chat about what's going on in your life, etc. {{{and pain-free wishes}}} Carol " In the little decisions of life, follow your mind; in the big decisions of life, follow your heart. " (author unknown) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 1999 Report Share Posted August 12, 1999 Welcome Janette, At 10:57 PM 8/12/99 -0400, you wrote: >have been on the list for about a week now just lurking to see what is >going on.I have a hard time introducing myself Have to say you really disqualified yourself as a lurker by posting your intro in only 1 week. I lurked on other lists a lot longer, before I realized that if I opened my mouth it might help *me* Not that I really discourage lurking. Just belonging somewhere that one can share these lousy experiences can be help in itself. Anyway, there are some Social Security Survivors. Let us know what's happening if you think you want help. Ken ---------- Turbin | Mailto:kturbin@... | webmaster@... Net Biz Development | *Page me: http://www.mirabilis.com/17198172 Tel. (702) 312- 6888 | Fax | GetICQ http://www.icq.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 1999 Report Share Posted August 13, 1999 Welcome to the group Janet.Sorry to hear about the lupus,I can only imagine how painful it is.I was hospitalized with a lady that had it she was really in pain,and such a sweet lady.I hope you get what you need from the list,and if ever I can ehlp you in anyway just let me know. Kathy ICQ # 42539368 Yahoo messenger kathy3759 Visit my homepage www.expage.com/page/PainSupport/ ICQ Pain Support Chatroom #15222572 Chat nightly at 9:00 P.M eastern time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 1999 Report Share Posted August 13, 1999 Dear Jan, Welcome to the list! We've already got things in common (aside from pain) I have 2 grown children, and 3 grandchildren....the last one was born on July3. My first granddaughter. In fact I'm leaving in about an hour to go visit again. The biggest problem today is that I have to drive 3 hours to visit and that will put me flat until tomarrow if I'm lucky. I look forward to hearing more from you. Kathleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 1999 Report Share Posted August 18, 1999 In a message dated 8/18/99 8:25:50 PM Eastern Daylight Time, k9krazy@... writes: << My name is Loni and I just found this list today.. >> Welcome, Loni. Hope you find this group to be as caring, supportive, and informative as I have. {{{and pain-free wishes}}} Carol " In the little decisions of life, follow your mind; in the big decisions of life, follow your heart. " (author unknown) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 1999 Report Share Posted August 18, 1999 Welcome to the list, Loni. This is exactly the place for you. I'll let our other members respond to your questions first. They are a caring and very helpful gang of super folks. I'll post another message in regards to your questions later. Glad to have you among us! Ray in Virginia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 1999 Report Share Posted August 18, 1999 Thanks for the warm welcome... I am just learning about all of this health stuff... it is nice to know I have found a place that I can go to for support and information. Thanks again, Loni Re: Intro > > > Welcome to the list, Loni. This is exactly the place for you. I'll let our > other members respond to your questions first. They are a caring and very > helpful gang of super folks. I'll post another message in regards to your > questions later. Glad to have you among us! > Ray in Virginia > > > --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 1999 Report Share Posted August 19, 1999 Hi Loni....My name is Tammy and your letter sounds like my problem except I don't have children. I've had 4 major lower back surgeries. I had a laminectomis on the L4 & L5, a root decompression on L4-S1 and finally a fusion on L5-S1 soon after the L5-S1 had a funsion. My back is a total mess. I have Severe nerve damage on my left side. I'm on Neurontin for the pain. I know something when I was taking Ultram it do anything for the pain. Some people tolerate pain well but then there are people like you and I and others in chronic pain. I do hope you recover from your pain. Just keep us informed on your condition how your doing. Chronic pain is a pain in the ^ & *^$* at times. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 1999 Report Share Posted August 19, 1999 Hi Loni....My name is Tammy and your letter sounds like my problem except I don't have children. I've had 4 major lower back surgeries. I had a laminectomis on the L4 & L5, a root decompression on L4-S1 and finally a fusion on L5-S1 soon after the L5-S1 had a funsion. My back is a total mess. I have Severe nerve damage on my left side. I'm on Neurontin for the pain. I know something when I was taking Ultram it do anything for the pain. Some people tolerate pain well but then there are people like you and I and others in chronic pain. I do hope you recover from your pain. Just keep us informed on your condition how your doing. Chronic pain is a pain in the ^ & *^$* at times. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 1999 Report Share Posted August 19, 1999 Hi Ray & others, I'm new to the list. Been in chronic pain since an auto accident about 6 years ago. Have lots of other health issues as well. Things are slowly improving...but still difficult, so i thought I'd join and see what everyone else is doing about chronic pain. Where abouts in VA are you? I'm in Berkeley, CA. Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 1999 Report Share Posted August 19, 1999 Hi Ray & others, I'm new to the list. Been in chronic pain since an auto accident about 6 years ago. Have lots of other health issues as well. Things are slowly improving...but still difficult, so i thought I'd join and see what everyone else is doing about chronic pain. Where abouts in VA are you? I'm in Berkeley, CA. Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 1999 Report Share Posted August 19, 1999 Tammy, Hi. Does the Neurontin help much? And what about the Ultram? It helped or not? Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 1999 Report Share Posted August 19, 1999 Hi Loni, We simply are better than the list you unsubbed from. Why not use something you all ready wrote. I just *hate* to have to redo the typical, often endless case histories we sometimes feel like. Ken At 07:04 PM 8/18/99 -0500, you wrote: >am going to send an intro that I wrote on the other list, (for >which I got unsubbed for. Why??? don't ask me..) ---------- Turbin | chronic_pain-listowneronelist | Chron_pain http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain | Page me online through ICQ: http://www.mirabilis.com/17198172 | | Tel. (702) 312- 6888 Fax | GetICQ http://www.icq.com/ | ---------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 1999 Report Share Posted August 20, 1999 Hi Sandy, I'm not sure at this moment if the Neurontin is working or not. It new to me so I can't really say that it is working. All I know its little different than Ultram. The ultram didn't seem to me if it was working cause my pain is so bad some days so I stopped taking it and my doctor put me on Neurontin instead. I guess the Neurontin is suppose to better then the Ultram. To me I just hope one of drugs would help. You can probably look over the internet to get more info on both drugs. Have a great weekend. Tammy Re: Intro > > > Tammy, > Hi. Does the Neurontin help much? And what about the Ultram? It > helped or not? Sandy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 1999 Report Share Posted August 20, 1999 Hi Lori, Welcome to the list. You will find alot of support and information here, as well as people who really do understand what it's like living with cp (chronic pain). I have had 5 spinal surgeries which started out to fix a problem like yours. Both my legs are now involved and now arthritis in the spine as well as a few other maladies. I was and occasionally still am in the same situation as you have now. I was always an active person and even with the pain to let me know when I should stop, I kept going to the point of bed for days. One of the hardest things for me still to accept is realizing my limitations. I do take meds. With out them I would not be able to function at all. You mention your family thinking your " lazy " . Has anyone from your family gone to the doctor with you? I think your saving your back by using the chair and dog. It's very hard for others to understand what it's like to live 24/7 in pain. For me it's an on going process of acceptance and trial and error learning to live my life in different ways to combat the pain. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Kathleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 1999 Report Share Posted August 20, 1999 HI Sandy, I'm glad you joined up. I'm right near you in Sonoma. Practically neighbors. Kathleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 20, 1999 Report Share Posted November 20, 1999 Hi Tink Welcome:-) Glad to meet you. Gotta go...tired tonight. Candy intro > > > Hi, > > I've been subscribed for a while and thought it was time to introduce myself. > > I live in Germany for the moment, my husband and I are from the Netherlands > and we are waiting for visa's to transfer to California. > > I'm a graphic designer, diagnosed with FMS/MPS, RA, Tendonsitis, > Orthovasculair Syndrome, Tintitus. I no longer work fulltime but I only > work for non profit organizations designing webpages and newsletters. > I also run a mailinglist about Fibromyalgia and the connection of > physical/mental abuse history. > > We have 2 dogs and a cat and at the moment we're living ina apartment hotel. > I have no medical help and no medication except for the Benedryl I brought > with me from the US. It's forbidden here in Europe. > > One of the reason for us for moving to the US was that I would be able to > get better care in the US for my conditions than in Europe where they > still are in the dark ages about FMS. > > I'm glad to be a part of this list. You already provided me with lots of info. > > -- Tink, > Nuremberg, Germany > > > Know someone who could profit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain or write us at: chronic_pain-listowneronelist > Manage your subscription with several special email addresses: > chronic_pain-owneronelist - Sends email to the list owners > chronic_pain-subscribeonelist - Subscribe to the list through email > chronic_pain-unsubscribeonelist - Unsubscribe from the list > chronic_pain-normalonelist - Switch your subscription to normal > chronic_pain-digestonelist - Switch your subscription to digest > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 1999 Report Share Posted November 22, 1999 Dear Tink/Candy, I certainly hope you and your husband will be able to get to the visa's and can get to the USA, for better treatment, so that you feel better soon. I know that life can be unbearable to live with. I have dealt with FMS/MPS/CFIDS/INSTITIAL CYSTITIS OF THE BLADDER/INSOMINIA/SEVERE-CHRONIC ABDOMINAL ADHESIONS AND SCAR TISSUE(that rebuilds-till no room-rips & tears causing extreme pain w/any movement-then starts all over-getting worse each time)/SEVERE-CHRONIC OBSTRUCTIVE SLEEP APNEA/DIABETES, I think that is all at this point atleast with the fibro fog from the FMS thats all I can think of at this time. I suffer from short term memory loss as well,TMJ or I know now,after being able to maintain a clean history, as far as blood tests I was able to stay away from arthritis, and now I guess I have very high levels, to go along with everything else. It just doesn't end. So do the best to get the best treament you can from the earliest stages. I have been doing as much researching as I can and have marked many areas on the web to get information, that is very helpful for you as well as information that will help your spouse and family better understand, what you are going through and how they can help you. If you would like I will put together as many of the links that I can and send them to you 5-10 at a time. I have scanned all of these and know that they are virus free. I hope to hear from you, you sound like a very wonderful person, and I'd love to hear about your travels as well. I don't think thats much of an option for me at this point. I did get some great news this week thou, it looks like I have finall been approved for SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY INS. BENEFITS. after 3 applications, and in fact one of my doctors told, that more than likely this being my third time I would be approved. However they due dock you the first 5months from the month of application, but approval usually takes 4-6months anyway. Well I know I can be pretty long winded, but if I can be of help to someone, than I liked to be able to do what ever I can, regardless as long as they truely need the info. Take care and please keep in touch, my personal e-mail address is at the bottom. Feel free to get in touch for that info. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, TODAY AND ALWAYS, YOUR FRIEND IN CHRIST, Trish /TDBEARANGL@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 1999 Report Share Posted November 22, 1999 Deat Tink Welcome to the list. I heard you mention that you have Tinitis, Has your doctor suggested anything to so for this " drive you nuts syndrome " ? Mine seems to get worse after eating. Talk to you later. Rosemarie rstene@... Canada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 1999 Report Share Posted November 22, 1999 Deat Tink Welcome to the list. I heard you mention that you have Tinitis, Has your doctor suggested anything to so for this " drive you nuts syndrome " ? Mine seems to get worse after eating. Talk to you later. Rosemarie rstene@... Canada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2000 Report Share Posted March 21, 2000 <<Mostly it has been lonely. People just do not understand. Thank g-d for the computer.>> Yes, Candi, I understand this well! I'm praying for you! God bless, Joanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 Hi Mizwho, welcome to this list...your post was very poignant...I could feel the love for your sister and the challenge of dealing with a mother who has a different version of history...good for you for the healing you have done in your life and your sensitivity and depth of understanding your own issues...your surfacing anger is understandable...with survivors of abuse anger can often become confused with an underlying emotion that is best described as righteous indignation...the two emotions can feel the same and it can often help to sort how much of the feeling is anger and how much is healthy indignation towards the horrors of abuse...I hope someday you be able to see your mom, more as someone to be pitied than anything else...she will likely never understand nor will she likely ever have the capacity to understand what your childhood has been like for you and your siblings...sorrow, and anger go hand in hand with the grief process as do many of the other emotions you have described...as a Hospice volunteer, I have seen many people grieve, not just the loss of the person who has died, but also grieve painful life experiences such as sexual abuse, verbal abuse...they grieve the loss of what might have been, what should have/could have been and what was...and they grieve their disappointment in people's behaviors...people they trusted who let them down...it all goes hand in hand...in my area, our Hospice has bereavement support groups for people such as yourself as well as one on one counselling...there are also many good books available on grief as well as recovery from the kind of childhood you have described...your children are blessed to have you...hugs, intro > Hello, > > I'm feeling reserved about posting because so much has been > going on. I have a very busy life but the sorrow has been > bubbling up. > > >From what I can gather, since BPD is new to me, my mom and > her whole family were/are BPD. My father had alcoholic > tendencies, was hospitalized several times for nervous > breakdowns. Anyway, there were 8 of us. Strict Catholic family. > Grew up in the Philippines mostly, American Dad, high society > mom, no money. Filipino grandparents were considered saints. > (They were the MOST controlling people I ever knew- though they > were both dead before I knew what that was). > > Anyway.....we somehow all grew up. Of particular sadness to me > was the plight of my two younger sisters who I adored. They > were the family scapegoats and took on the wrath of my mother. > Lots of physical hazing to the point of blood, lots of humiliation, > really horrible illegal stuff. It was not a picnic for the rest of us. > We learned how to shut up and stay out of the way. > > A lot of love between us sibs. > > Then my sister died last year of cancer. I am now unable to even > cut the parents a bit of slack. I have a lot of kids myself and it is a > lot of work, but I've never hit them or humiliated them. I cannot > see how they could constantly and in everyway cross the line into > abuse with us, and so easily. > > I keep looking at my mother who is currently visiting us and she > is OBLIVIOUS (or wants to be) about the past-- has generated a > mythology of how close she was to my late sister. Her culture > has a big importance on " saving face " . > > Oh and there is lots more to the sad and sorry story. There was > sexual abuse (attempted toward me when I was 18- but I had > heard about it from cousins years before) and more sexual > abuse toward my sister and my young cousins., emotional > abandonment. Really really sad and I feel ashamed of it- though > I was an innocent child who did not ask to be part of it. > > Throughout it all, there was the overiding pride in being a " good > family " (hahahaha!) > > So how did it turn out midway? I'm 44, have a loving husband of > 17 years, 6 kids who are my pride and joy. I finished college after > 13 years. Husband understands everything. > > I was able to coast along all these years with my little family > support group. Then my dear sister got cancer and died. She > was 40 and left 2 little boys and a husband behind. I have been > haunted by the memories of her being yelled at, hit, and crying. > > My mother has cultivated with some success a persona of calm > and elegance. She does not have any close friends, all > superficial people. My father died 9 years ago. In spite of his > faults, he apologized to me on his deathbed for all his failings. > He was the " bad guy " our whole life. > > So this is what is happening to me now. I am remembering with > clarity so many horrible situations and I am- for the first time- > angry. Now that my sister is dead, nothing seems worth covering > up anymore. > > When my mother makes " fantasy island " statements, I quietly > refute them, but it makes my stomach churn and my blood boil, > but I feel better afterwards. > > MizWho > > > > To get off the list, send a blank message to ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 Hi Mizwho, welcome to this list...your post was very poignant...I could feel the love for your sister and the challenge of dealing with a mother who has a different version of history...good for you for the healing you have done in your life and your sensitivity and depth of understanding your own issues...your surfacing anger is understandable...with survivors of abuse anger can often become confused with an underlying emotion that is best described as righteous indignation...the two emotions can feel the same and it can often help to sort how much of the feeling is anger and how much is healthy indignation towards the horrors of abuse...I hope someday you be able to see your mom, more as someone to be pitied than anything else...she will likely never understand nor will she likely ever have the capacity to understand what your childhood has been like for you and your siblings...sorrow, and anger go hand in hand with the grief process as do many of the other emotions you have described...as a Hospice volunteer, I have seen many people grieve, not just the loss of the person who has died, but also grieve painful life experiences such as sexual abuse, verbal abuse...they grieve the loss of what might have been, what should have/could have been and what was...and they grieve their disappointment in people's behaviors...people they trusted who let them down...it all goes hand in hand...in my area, our Hospice has bereavement support groups for people such as yourself as well as one on one counselling...there are also many good books available on grief as well as recovery from the kind of childhood you have described...your children are blessed to have you...hugs, intro > Hello, > > I'm feeling reserved about posting because so much has been > going on. I have a very busy life but the sorrow has been > bubbling up. > > >From what I can gather, since BPD is new to me, my mom and > her whole family were/are BPD. My father had alcoholic > tendencies, was hospitalized several times for nervous > breakdowns. Anyway, there were 8 of us. Strict Catholic family. > Grew up in the Philippines mostly, American Dad, high society > mom, no money. Filipino grandparents were considered saints. > (They were the MOST controlling people I ever knew- though they > were both dead before I knew what that was). > > Anyway.....we somehow all grew up. Of particular sadness to me > was the plight of my two younger sisters who I adored. They > were the family scapegoats and took on the wrath of my mother. > Lots of physical hazing to the point of blood, lots of humiliation, > really horrible illegal stuff. It was not a picnic for the rest of us. > We learned how to shut up and stay out of the way. > > A lot of love between us sibs. > > Then my sister died last year of cancer. I am now unable to even > cut the parents a bit of slack. I have a lot of kids myself and it is a > lot of work, but I've never hit them or humiliated them. I cannot > see how they could constantly and in everyway cross the line into > abuse with us, and so easily. > > I keep looking at my mother who is currently visiting us and she > is OBLIVIOUS (or wants to be) about the past-- has generated a > mythology of how close she was to my late sister. Her culture > has a big importance on " saving face " . > > Oh and there is lots more to the sad and sorry story. There was > sexual abuse (attempted toward me when I was 18- but I had > heard about it from cousins years before) and more sexual > abuse toward my sister and my young cousins., emotional > abandonment. Really really sad and I feel ashamed of it- though > I was an innocent child who did not ask to be part of it. > > Throughout it all, there was the overiding pride in being a " good > family " (hahahaha!) > > So how did it turn out midway? I'm 44, have a loving husband of > 17 years, 6 kids who are my pride and joy. I finished college after > 13 years. Husband understands everything. > > I was able to coast along all these years with my little family > support group. Then my dear sister got cancer and died. She > was 40 and left 2 little boys and a husband behind. I have been > haunted by the memories of her being yelled at, hit, and crying. > > My mother has cultivated with some success a persona of calm > and elegance. She does not have any close friends, all > superficial people. My father died 9 years ago. In spite of his > faults, he apologized to me on his deathbed for all his failings. > He was the " bad guy " our whole life. > > So this is what is happening to me now. I am remembering with > clarity so many horrible situations and I am- for the first time- > angry. Now that my sister is dead, nothing seems worth covering > up anymore. > > When my mother makes " fantasy island " statements, I quietly > refute them, but it makes my stomach churn and my blood boil, > but I feel better afterwards. > > MizWho > > > > To get off the list, send a blank message to ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & concerns to ModOasis-owner . " Stop Waking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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