Guest guest Posted April 17, 2003 Report Share Posted April 17, 2003 I totally know what you're saying below....as asperger parents, we need to choose our battles, rethink our battle plans, and if plan A, B, or C doesn't work, have other plans ready! I've had to 'give up' much of my usual thought about discipline and consequences and rewards and punishments, etc, with my daughter. She just doesn't respond the way a normal kid would, so the normal way of communication just doesn't work either. We certainly have to be creative and the least 'noninvasive' with our responses. At least, I do! mari Recently I really clamped down on my 16 yo AS son and tried to use his beloved on-line computer gaming as a bribe for getting his school work done (we homeschool) and it was a TOTAL disaster. The trust between us was totally turned upside down. He was lying and sneaking (not things he has a lot of experience or talent at) and I was furious and untrusting. Believe it or not, the solution was for me to apologize and back off! I was absolutely ruining our relationship and losing a lot of sleep. It was clearly my behavior that was causing him to think sneaking was the only way to get what he wanted. I backed off, explained again what I thought was important (getting certain things done without nagging and not over-doing on the computer) and we are still working on smoothing things out. He's much happier now and getting most of what I want done. For my own peace of mind our 12:00 computer curfew (for all our children) is now reinforced with some computer software that turns off the internet at midnight. I'd like to get rid of it but not being suspicious allows me to sleep better. Hope there is something useful here! Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 We went through the same thing. As soon my son started talking, the attitude came right along with it. Believe it our not, ignoring some of the "freshness" really did work. One he realized he couldn't get a rise out of me, he discontinued the behavior. The other thing that worked for us was a buzz word that for some reason he seemed to understand and respond to. For us the word "fresh" (it's a northern phrase for being a smartmouth). As soon as I told him "Don't be fresh" he seemed to understand that I meant business and that he crossed the line. Hope this helps. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 We went through the same thing. As soon my son started talking, the attitude came right along with it. Believe it our not, ignoring some of the "freshness" really did work. One he realized he couldn't get a rise out of me, he discontinued the behavior. The other thing that worked for us was a buzz word that for some reason he seemed to understand and respond to. For us the word "fresh" (it's a northern phrase for being a smartmouth). As soon as I told him "Don't be fresh" he seemed to understand that I meant business and that he crossed the line. Hope this helps. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 I will work on this with our son. Ignoring it more consistently. I know we are blessed that he has the language he has, but it's tough when he's so RUDE. Sheila Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 I will work on this with our son. Ignoring it more consistently. I know we are blessed that he has the language he has, but it's tough when he's so RUDE. Sheila Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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