Lissah/Friends

[Guest guest]

Lissah,

I hate to say it but in plain english, the disease tends to show you others

true colors. I too try not to complain a lot, don't want to be seen as a

whiner etc. ,but the fact is some people just don't deal with illness well.

My ex told me the day I got out of the hospital after my 4th brain surgery

that year, that my " issues " were holding him back, that was even before this

crap started. I moved out and on. How anyone could do that to someone when

they are just out of the hospital and minus their hair, feeling horrible

insecure, is beyond me. My best friend of over 20 years just wigged out on

me also. She handled my hydrocephalus but when I had a problem that the

doctors could not immediately put a name too it reminded her too much I

think of her hypochondriac Mother, and she took it out on me. So many just

don't know how to act or what to say, they feel guilty maybe for being well.

I don't know. My own brother acted as if his broken leg were far more

significant than anything I was dealing with and once healed was to eager to

threaten me with a fist. It is hard to say but if you look at nature,

survival of the fittest, the sick and wounded animals are always pushed to

the edge of the group so they are the first taken down by predators.

Now, just remember not everyone is that way either. Some of my best friends

have come to me thru this illness in this group and just by meeting people

that are truly walking the talk so to say. I know my own illness has made

me take a big step back and rethink how I might " judge " others. I try

really hard not to at all but I do slip. I know I have a lot more empathy

now than ever for others with problems, of any kind.

Remember too, when a door shuts a window often opens, this friend may not

really have been a true friend and in place you may have 5 new ones that are

much better.

Lynn