Re: Child w/Ds abused by teacher in West Va....check out the comments

January 18, 2010

NP, I am shocked that, besides yourself, that I seem to be the only one

here who is shocked about it. Maybe the list is just quiet right after

Christmas.

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

My bad... I think you are right. I probably was just so angry when

I read it that I related my child to the situation in my mind.

Sorry..

Nonetheless, as parents of children with special needs, it would not be

a bad idea to support the family.

> > > > >

> > > > > What do you mean there is a movement to get

parents to GIVE UP OUR

> > > > KIDS!!!!!!!

> > > > >

> > > > > deb

> > > > > [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re:

Child w/Ds abused by

> > teacher

> > > > in West Va....check out the comments

> > > > >

> > > > > I was in tears just typing the post and

reliving the pictures in my

> > > > head. But it is ok and now,we are ok.

> > > > > I really think people need to know what is

happening out there with

> > > > our children. And unfortunately, there is a

movement going on where

> > > > social services are encouraging mothers to give up

their child with

> > > > Down syndrome.

> > > > > I just cannot understand any reasoning behind

that.

> > > > > What makes anyone else a better candidate for

a parent than a

> > > > child's own biological mother (we are assuming here

that the

> > mother is

> > > > not abusive, etc.) And even then, shouldn't social

services try to

> > > > reunite families and get those who really need

help, the help that

> > > > they need?

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

January 18, 2010

NP, I am shocked that, besides yourself, that I seem to be the only one

here who is shocked about it. Maybe the list is just quiet right after

Christmas.

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

My bad... I think you are right. I probably was just so angry when

I read it that I related my child to the situation in my mind.

Sorry..

Nonetheless, as parents of children with special needs, it would not be

a bad idea to support the family.

> > > > >

> > > > > What do you mean there is a movement to get

parents to GIVE UP OUR

> > > > KIDS!!!!!!!

> > > > >

> > > > > deb

> > > > > [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re:

Child w/Ds abused by

> > teacher

> > > > in West Va....check out the comments

> > > > >

> > > > > I was in tears just typing the post and

reliving the pictures in my

> > > > head. But it is ok and now,we are ok.

> > > > > I really think people need to know what is

happening out there with

> > > > our children. And unfortunately, there is a

movement going on where

> > > > social services are encouraging mothers to give up

their child with

> > > > Down syndrome.

> > > > > I just cannot understand any reasoning behind

that.

> > > > > What makes anyone else a better candidate for

a parent than a

> > > > child's own biological mother (we are assuming here

that the

> > mother is

> > > > not abusive, etc.) And even then, shouldn't social

services try to

> > > > reunite families and get those who really need

help, the help that

> > > > they need?

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

January 18, 2010

I think most people are under the mistaken impression that it won't happen to

their child. Or they think it cannot happen in *their* school because their

school has great teachers.

If your child has limited communication skills, they are more at risk.

Trust me, I know.

Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or CPS, you do not believe

that it can or will happen to you. Trust me, we never thought something like

this would happen to us. And I am a great parent and my children are more well

behaved than most I have seen in my lifetime.

Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think this way...one day.

Hopefully not, but I continually fight for others because I might need those

same people to fight for me one day.

If we allow school officials to keep getting away with this behavior, it will

eventualy make it around to our neighborhood and by that time, Supreme Court

rulings (the law of the land) will have precedence over our children and we

won't.

January 18, 2010

We learned the hard way that it CAN happen to your child. Years ago, Tristan told us several times that the male aid in his class " pinched my butt. " I went directly to the teacher, who adamantly denied it. She assured me the male aid was never alone with Tristan. Also talked to another aid in the classroom who was a personal friend. She pbacked u what the teacher said. We couldn't understand why Tristan was saying this, and then he started regressing - wetting and soiling his pants. And they wouldn't clean him! They'd tell me he did it at the end of the day and they didn't realize it. We pulled him out and home schooled him for several years. He stopped soiling his pants immediately, but the wetting took over a year to stop! Took him to a urologist, who said he was fairly convinced Tristan was abused but had no way of proving it. I was so sick and angry! The aid who was our " friend " ended up getting fired over something else and had the nerve to tell me that the male aid WAS alone with Tristan and in fact was the one who took him to the bathroom every day!! I felt like slapping her! She wasn't even sorry - just angry that she had been fired and was tattling on the school! Sick! The year after we pulled Tristan out of school, the male aid was transferred to another position within the school - not directly working with children, and the next year, he was working at Walmart. Tristan is fine now, but it took a long time. I now believe just about everything he tells me.

I think most people are under the mistaken impression that it won't happen to their child. Or they think it cannot happen in *their* school because their school has great teachers.

If your child has limited communication skills, they are more at risk.

Trust me, I know.

Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or CPS, you do not believe that it can or will happen to you. Trust me, we never thought something like this would happen to us. And I am a great parent and my children are more well behaved than most I have seen in my lifetime.

Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think this way...one day. Hopefully not, but I continually fight for others because I might need those same people to fight for me one day.

If we allow school officials to keep getting away with this behavior, it will eventualy make it around to our neighborhood and by that time, Supreme Court rulings (the law of the land) will have precedence over our children and we won't.

January 18, 2010

I had no idea. I am so sorry that happened to you and to Tristan. It

makes me feel powerless, but it makes me want to have a hidden camera

somewhere on my child if I could. God why are there such horrible

people in the world like that?

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

We learned the

hard way that it CAN happen to your child. Years ago, Tristan told us

several times that the male aid in his class "pinched my butt." I went

directly to the teacher, who adamantly denied it. She assured me the

male aid was never alone with Tristan. Also talked to another aid in

the classroom who was a personal friend. She pbacked u what the teacher said.

We couldn't understand why Tristan was saying this, and then he started

regressing - wetting and soiling his pants. And they wouldn't clean

him! They'd tell me he did it at the end of the day and they didn't

realize it. We pulled him out and home schooled him for several years.

He stopped soiling his pants immediately, but the wetting took over a

year to stop! Took him to a urologist, who said he was fairly convinced

Tristan was abused but had no way of proving it. I was so sick and

angry! The aid who was our "friend" ended up getting fired over

something else and had the nerve to tell me that the male aid WAS alone

with Tristan and in fact was the one who took him to the bathroom every

day!! I felt like slapping her! She wasn't even sorry - just angry that

she had been fired and was tattling on the school! Sick! The year after

we pulled Tristan out of school, the male aid was transferred to

another position within the school - not directly working with

children, and the next year, he was working at Walmart. Tristan is fine

now, but it took a long time. I now believe just about everything he

tells me.

On Mon, Jan 18, 2010 at 10:51 PM,

agirlnamedsuess21 <agirlnamedsuess21>

wrote:

I think most people are under the mistaken impression that it

won't happen to their child. Or they think it cannot happen in *their*

school because their school has great teachers.

If your child has limited communication skills, they are more at risk.

Trust me, I know.

Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or CPS, you do not

believe that it can or will happen to you. Trust me, we never thought

something like this would happen to us. And I am a great parent and my

children are more well behaved than most I have seen in my lifetime.

Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think this way...one

day. Hopefully not, but I continually fight for others because I might

need those same people to fight for me one day.

If we allow school officials to keep getting away with this behavior,

it will eventualy make it around to our neighborhood and by that time,

Supreme Court rulings (the law of the land) will have precedence over

our children and we won't.

January 18, 2010

Am so very sorry your son had to experience such a horrific incident. I can't even imagine the anger and fear u still have regarding this. My son isn't all that great with intelligble speech but I am always reminding him to not allow anyone to "touch" him THERE!! or for that matter for him to touch someone else! I tell him to holler,NO,NO,NO..STOP,I'm going to tell,etc. I act it out with him nearly everyday and ask him when he comes home from school if he was touched inappropiately. On his dynavox I write down a sentence repeating what I say and will play it back to him as if he is hearing it from someone other than me all of the time. That is my greatest fear. I don't know why we live in such a world where the meek are always considered prey.

Take care.

smom

"Where there is passion and a fire burning in your heart, there is hope..."

"I cannot do everything, but still I can do something." Ms. Helen Keller

I think most people are under the mistaken impression that it won't happen to their child. Or they think it cannot happen in *their* school because their school has great teachers.If your child has limited communication skills, they are more at risk.Trust me, I know.Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or CPS, you do not believe that it can or will happen to you. Trust me, we never thought something like this would happen to us. And I am a great parent and my children are more well behaved than most I have seen in my lifetime.Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think this way...one day. Hopefully not, but I continually fight for others because I might need those same people to fight for me one day.If we allow school officials to keep getting away with this behavior, it will eventualy make it around to our neighborhood and by that time, Supreme Court rulings (the law of the land) will have precedence

over our children and we won't.

January 19, 2010

How old is your son?

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

Â

Am so very sorry your son had to experience such a

horrific incident. I can't even imagine the anger and fear u still have

regarding this. My son isn't all that great with intelligble speech but

I am always reminding him to not allow anyone to "touch" him THERE!! or

for that matter for him to touch someone else! I tell him to

holler,NO,NO,NO..STOP,I'm going to tell,etc.Â I act it out

with him nearly everyday and ask him when he comes home from schoolÂ if

he was touched inappropiately. On his dynavox I write down a sentence

repeating what I say and will play it back to him as if he is hearing

it from someone other than me all of the time. That is my greatest

fear. I don't know why we live in such a world where the meek are

always considered prey.

Take care.

smom

"Where

there is passion and a fire burning in your heart, there is hope..."

Â

"I

cannot do everything, but still I can do something."Â Ms. Helen Keller

Â

I think most people are under the mistaken

impression that it won't happen to their child. Or they think it cannot

happen in *their* school because their school has great teachers.

If your child has limited communication skills, they are more at risk.

Trust me, I know.

Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or CPS, you do not

believe that it can or will happen to you. Trust me, we never thought

something like this would happen to us. And I am a great parent and my

children are more well behaved than most I have seen in my lifetime.

Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think this way...one

day. Hopefully not, but I continually fight for others because I might

need those same people to fight for me one day.

If we allow school officials to keep getting away with this behavior,

it will eventualy make it around to our neighborhood and by that time,

Supreme Court rulings (the law of the land) will have precedence over

our children and we won't.

January 19, 2010

That is terrible. I am so sorry that happened to your son. I am glad he is doing ok now.

Shirley

I think most people are under the mistaken impression that it won't happen to their child. Or they think it cannot happen in *their* school because their school has great teachers.If your child has limited communication skills, they are more at risk.Trust me, I know.Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or CPS, you do not believe that it can or will happen to you. Trust me, we never thought something like this would happen to us. And I am a great parent and my children are more well behaved than most I have seen in my lifetime.Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think this way...one day. Hopefully not, but I continually fight for others because I might need those same people to fight for me one day.If we allow school officials to keep getting away with this behavior, it will eventualy make it around to our neighborhood and by that time, Supreme Court rulings (the law of the land) will have precedence

over our children and we won't.

January 19, 2010

Now he is 6 years-old; then he was 4 years old.

> >>

> >> I think most people are under the mistaken impression that it

> >> won't happen to their child. Or they think it cannot happen

> >> in *their* school because their school has great teachers.

> >> If your child has limited communication skills, they are more

> >> at risk.

> >> Trust me, I know.

> >> Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or CPS,

> >> you do not believe that it can or will happen to you. Trust

> >> me, we never thought something like this would happen to us.

> >> And I am a great parent and my children are more well behaved

> >> than most I have seen in my lifetime.

> >> Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think this

> >> way...one day. Hopefully not, but I continually fight for

> >> others because I might need those same people to fight for me

> >> one day.

> >> If we allow school officials to keep getting away with this

> >> behavior, it will eventualy make it around to our

> >> neighborhood and by that time, Supreme Court rulings (the law

> >> of the land) will have precedence over our children and we won't.

> >>

> >

>

January 19, 2010

Recently in the news, there were some parents (in Dekalb County, I think) that

suspected abuse. They sewed a small recorder into his clothing and caught them

that very next day. The parapro was asking him if he wanted a " shut-up hit "

(which indicated it had happened before then because how else would he know what

that meant).The listener could adibly hear the child being hit and the child

making a sound as a result of it; this happened repeatedly. The cild came home

black and blue with bruises wih an excuse other than what really happened

(obviously because the parents had it recorded)

Then the teachers were *laughing* about him (the child)eating out of the

trashcan. Then another part of the conversation focused on the teachers sanding

around talking very, very explicitly (and obviously around this child for it to

be recorded) about the sex they had on their date the night before. It really

made me sick when I heard it.

I think it got posted online somewhere. And to the best of my recollection, I

think the child was nonverbal.

My policy: Trust no one.

January 19, 2010

Shari, We have to believe everything a young child tells us. What motive (if

they even have motives at our children's ages) would they have.

My caution to everyone, if you *see* something is not right, then it probably is

not. If you *hear* it is not right, as well, trust your child and trust your

instinct. Do *not* pass it off because *they ae so nice to you when you pick up

your child*. Smiles can be fake....that is their job to be syrupy to you.

I am not trying to instill unrealstic fears into anyone, but use your common

sense. In both our situations, our children started having toileting problems &

behavior that were out of the ordinary. If it planly is not the *usual* for your

child, then suspect that something is wrong. make a surprise unannounced visit

on different days to your child's school. I did, and found my son in baby

diapers in the morning with clean unused underwear in his cubby, on several

different occassions.

Do not assume that people are going to do the right thing.

January 19, 2010

No offense to you Sue, but from what I read, Shari was very vigilent

and acted immediately when her son started acting strange. Shari DID

listen to her son and Shari DID use common sense to get him out of that

situation as quickly as possible.

It just seems a little wrong to admonish her by suggesting she was not

believing her child, or that she was not trusting her instinct. I

think she did the right thing, and she did it quickly from what I read.

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

se

Shari, We have to believe everything a young child tells us. What

motive (if they even have motives at our children's ages) would they

have.

My caution to everyone, if you *see* something is not right, then it

probably is not. If you *hear* it is not right, as well, trust your

child and trust your instinct. Do *not* pass it off because *they ae so

nice to you when you pick up your child*. Smiles can be fake....that is

their job to be syrupy to you.

I am not trying to instill unrealstic fears into anyone, but use your

common sense. In both our situations, our children started having

toileting problems & behavior that were out of the ordinary. If it

planly is not the *usual* for your child, then suspect that something

is wrong. make a surprise unannounced visit on different days to your

child's school. I did, and found my son in baby diapers in the morning

with clean unused underwear in his cubby, on several different

occassions.

Do not assume that people are going to do the right thing.

January 19, 2010

i was shocked, too..just didn't know that I had anything useful to add, so that is why I haven't said anything.(I know, I know...that doesn't usually stop me.....) Stuff like this makes me really glad that we homeschool.

KathyR

NP, I am shocked that, besides yourself, that I seem to be the only one

here who is shocked about it. Maybe the list is just quiet right after

Christmas.

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

My bad... I think you are right. I probably was just so angry when

I read it that I related my child to the situation in my mind.

Sorry..

Nonetheless, as parents of children with special needs, it would not be

a bad idea to support the family.

> > > > >

> > > > > What do you mean there is a movement to get

parents to GIVE UP OUR

> > > > KIDS!!!!!!!

> > > > >

> > > > > deb

> > > > > [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re:

Child w/Ds abused by

> > teacher

> > > > in West Va....check out the comments

> > > > >

> > > > > I was in tears just typing the post and

reliving the pictures in my

> > > > head. But it is ok and now,we are ok.

> > > > > I really think people need to know what is

happening out there with

> > > > our children. And unfortunately, there is a

movement going on where

> > > > social services are encouraging mothers to give up

their child with

> > > > Down syndrome.

> > > > > I just cannot understand any reasoning behind

that.

> > > > > What makes anyone else a better candidate for

a parent than a

> > > > child's own biological mother (we are assuming here

that the

> > mother is

> > > > not abusive, etc.) And even then, shouldn't social

services try to

> > > > reunite families and get those who really need

help, the help that

> > > > they need?

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

January 19, 2010

not only young kids. My adult BIL(50's) has Ds, and a few years ago, he was living in a group home...he has pretty limited verbal skills, but he was able to act out someone twisting his nipple (bizarre thing for someone to do) the staff told us that he was acting really scared of one of the staff members..refusing to go in the van with him, etc. The staff member had made a favorite of my BIL...let him sit in the front seat of the van, etc-was very nice and friendly with us when we went to see my BIL. When we went to the Director, he promised an investigation..after the initial complaint, we didn't see that staff member anymore, and all of the remaining staff/the director were all 'outraged', so we just assumed that the guy had been fired. Imagine my surprise then, to see him picking up another client for another group home when I went to pick my BIL up from his day services site. he still worked with people with disabilities! I brought it to the attention of the director again, but since he was no longer working with my BIL, there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it at that point except move my BIL out of that agency entirely, which we did.

KathyR

Shari, We have to believe everything a young child tells us. What motive (if they even have motives at our children's ages) would they have.

My caution to everyone, if you *see* something is not right, then it probably is not. If you *hear* it is not right, as well, trust your child and trust your instinct. Do *not* pass it off because *they ae so nice to you when you pick up your child*. Smiles can be fake....that is their job to be syrupy to you.

I am not trying to instill unrealstic fears into anyone, but use your common sense. In both our situations, our children started having toileting problems & behavior that were out of the ordinary. If it planly is not the *usual* for your child, then suspect that something is wrong. make a surprise unannounced visit on different days to your child's school. I did, and found my son in baby diapers in the morning with clean unused underwear in his cubby, on several different occassions.

Do not assume that people are going to do the right thing.

January 19, 2010

I was just wondering what age that they could comprehend something like

that. Thanks.

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

Now he is 6 years-old; then he was 4 years old.

> >>

> >> I think most people are under the mistaken impression

that it

> >> won't happen to their child. Or they think it cannot

happen

> >> in *their* school because their school has great teachers.

> >> If your child has limited communication skills, they are

more

> >> at risk.

> >> Trust me, I know.

> >> Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or

CPS,

> >> you do not believe that it can or will happen to you.

Trust

> >> me, we never thought something like this would happen to

us.

> >> And I am a great parent and my children are more well

behaved

> >> than most I have seen in my lifetime.

> >> Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think

this

> >> way...one day. Hopefully not, but I continually fight for

> >> others because I might need those same people to fight

for me

> >> one day.

> >> If we allow school officials to keep getting away with

this

> >> behavior, it will eventualy make it around to our

> >> neighborhood and by that time, Supreme Court rulings (the

law

> >> of the land) will have precedence over our children and

we won't.

> >>

> >

>

January 19, 2010

As far as staff that can be trusted, we've had absolutely no problem. Another

area of concern could be respite workers through agencies like ARC. They do go

through a lot of training and these agencies screen the employees very well. It

is scary when someone that you don't know very well drives off with your child.

Sometimes, it's hard to trust that far.

Marsha

>

> >

> > Shari, We have to believe everything a young child tells us. What motive

> > (if they even have motives at our children's ages) would they have.

> > My caution to everyone, if you *see* something is not right, then it

> > probably is not. If you *hear* it is not right, as well, trust your child

> > and trust your instinct. Do *not* pass it off because *they ae so nice to

> > you when you pick up your child*. Smiles can be fake....that is their job to

> > be syrupy to you.

> > I am not trying to instill unrealstic fears into anyone, but use your

> > common sense. In both our situations, our children started having toileting

> > problems & behavior that were out of the ordinary. If it planly is not the

> > *usual* for your child, then suspect that something is wrong. make a

> > surprise unannounced visit on different days to your child's school. I did,

> > and found my son in baby diapers in the morning with clean unused underwear

> > in his cubby, on several different occassions.

> > Do not assume that people are going to do the right thing.

> >

>

January 19, 2010

I was just wondering what age that they could comprehend something like

that. Thanks.

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

Now he is 6 years-old; then he was 4 years old.

> >>

> >> I think most people are under the mistaken impression

that it

> >> won't happen to their child. Or they think it cannot

happen

> >> in *their* school because their school has great teachers.

> >> If your child has limited communication skills, they are

more

> >> at risk.

> >> Trust me, I know.

> >> Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or

CPS,

> >> you do not believe that it can or will happen to you.

Trust

> >> me, we never thought something like this would happen to

us.

> >> And I am a great parent and my children are more well

behaved

> >> than most I have seen in my lifetime.

> >> Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think

this

> >> way...one day. Hopefully not, but I continually fight for

> >> others because I might need those same people to fight

for me

> >> one day.

> >> If we allow school officials to keep getting away with

this

> >> behavior, it will eventualy make it around to our

> >> neighborhood and by that time, Supreme Court rulings (the

law

> >> of the land) will have precedence over our children and

we won't.

> >>

> >

>

January 19, 2010

I think I was asking Mathew's mom how old her son was.

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

Now he is 6 years-old; then he was 4 years old.

> >>

> >> I think most people are under the mistaken impression

that it

> >> won't happen to their child. Or they think it cannot

happen

> >> in *their* school because their school has great teachers.

> >> If your child has limited communication skills, they are

more

> >> at risk.

> >> Trust me, I know.

> >> Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or

CPS,

> >> you do not believe that it can or will happen to you.

Trust

> >> me, we never thought something like this would happen to

us.

> >> And I am a great parent and my children are more well

behaved

> >> than most I have seen in my lifetime.

> >> Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think

this

> >> way...one day. Hopefully not, but I continually fight for

> >> others because I might need those same people to fight

for me

> >> one day.

> >> If we allow school officials to keep getting away with

this

> >> behavior, it will eventualy make it around to our

> >> neighborhood and by that time, Supreme Court rulings (the

law

> >> of the land) will have precedence over our children and

we won't.

> >>

> >

>

January 19, 2010

I am here. Just dealing with a lot of fibro stuff lately.

Crazy weather changing does not help at all.

I did read that the child had DS, or maybe I read that into it,

but that is what I took away from it all. Makes me solidified in my decision

to homeschool. Everytime I think “am I doing the right thing” something like

this comes along to affirm I am.

Romero

If you don't stand behind our troops, please, feel free to stand

in front of them !!

From:

DownSyndromeInfoExchange

[mailto:DownSyndromeInfoExchange ] On Behalf Of

Borkowski

Sent: Monday, January 18, 2010 10:24 PM

To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange

Subject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: Child w/Ds abused by teacher

in West Va....check out the comments

NP, I am shocked that, besides yourself, that I

seem to be the only one here who is shocked about it. Maybe the list is

just quiet right after Christmas.

~~~~~~ If we are to go forward, we must go back and

rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations

and that all reality has spiritual control. ~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

My bad... I think you are right. I probably was

just so angry when I read it that I related my child to the situation in my

mind.

Sorry..

Nonetheless, as parents of children with special needs, it would not be a bad

idea to support the family.

> > > > >

> > > > > What do you mean there is a movement to get parents to

GIVE UP OUR

> > > > KIDS!!!!!!!

> > > > >

> > > > > deb

> > > > > [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: Child w/Ds

abused by

> > teacher

> > > > in West Va....check out the comments

> > > > >

> > > > > I was in tears just typing the post and reliving the

pictures in my

> > > > head. But it is ok and now,we are ok.

> > > > > I really think people need to know what is happening

out there with

> > > > our children. And unfortunately, there is a movement going

on where

> > > > social services are encouraging mothers to give up their

child with

> > > > Down syndrome.

> > > > > I just cannot understand any reasoning behind that.

> > > > > What makes anyone else a better candidate for a parent

than a

> > > > child's own biological mother (we are assuming here that

the

> > mother is

> > > > not abusive, etc.) And even then, shouldn't social services

try to

> > > > reunite families and get those who really need help, the

help that

> > > > they need?

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

January 19, 2010

Our newest advisory board member this is his profession. Investigating

and testifying about such abuse on special needs kids. He said that it is way

more prevalent than anyone would ever believe. His own daughter was abused. While

he worked in the same school as an investigator of abuse.

What he has found is that people in general just devalue our

kids. Unless they are personally touched by a special child, most people, to

some extent, look at them as lesser. Once that happens the door to abuse and

looking away is opened. It is really scary stuff.

Romero

If you don't stand behind our troops, please, feel free to stand

in front of them !!

From:

DownSyndromeInfoExchange [mailto:DownSyndromeInfoExchange ]

On Behalf Of Shari Fleming

Sent: Monday, January 18, 2010 11:04 PM

To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange

Subject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: Child w/Ds abused by teacher

in West Va....check out the comments

We

learned the hard way that it CAN happen to your child. Years ago, Tristan told

us several times that the male aid in his class " pinched my butt. " I

went directly to the teacher, who adamantly denied it. She assured me the male

aid was never alone with Tristan. Also talked to another aid in the classroom

who was a personal friend. She pbacked u what the teacher said. We couldn't

understand why Tristan was saying this, and then he started regressing -

wetting and soiling his pants. And they wouldn't clean him! They'd tell me he

did it at the end of the day and they didn't realize it. We pulled him out and

home schooled him for several years. He stopped soiling his pants immediately,

but the wetting took over a year to stop! Took him to a urologist, who said he

was fairly convinced Tristan was abused but had no way of proving it. I was so

sick and angry! The aid who was our " friend " ended up getting fired

over something else and had the nerve to tell me that the male aid WAS alone

with Tristan and in fact was the one who took him to the bathroom every day!! I

felt like slapping her! She wasn't even sorry - just angry that she had been

fired and was tattling on the school! Sick! The year after we pulled Tristan

out of school, the male aid was transferred to another position within the

school - not directly working with children, and the next year, he was working

at Walmart. Tristan is fine now, but it took a long time. I now believe just

about everything he tells me.

On Mon, Jan 18, 2010 at 10:51 PM, agirlnamedsuess21

wrote:

I think most people are under

the mistaken impression that it won't happen to their child. Or they think it

cannot happen in *their* school because their school has great teachers.

If your child has limited communication skills, they are more at risk.

Trust me, I know.

Also, unless you have had any experiences with DFCS or CPS, you do not believe

that it can or will happen to you. Trust me, we never thought something like

this would happen to us. And I am a great parent and my children are more well

behaved than most I have seen in my lifetime.

Trust me....it can and *might* happen to those who think this way...one day.

Hopefully not, but I continually fight for others because I might need those

same people to fight for me one day.

If we allow school officials to keep getting away with this behavior, it will

eventualy make it around to our neighborhood and by that time, Supreme Court

rulings (the law of the land) will have precedence over our children and we

won't.

January 19, 2010

Oh my gosh. I had not heard about that. I agree with your

policy. That is really sickening.

Romero

If you don't stand behind our troops, please, feel free to stand

in front of them !!

From:

DownSyndromeInfoExchange

[mailto:DownSyndromeInfoExchange ] On Behalf Of agirlnamedsuess21

Sent: Tuesday, January 19, 2010 10:07 AM

To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange

Subject: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: Child w/Ds abused by teacher in

West Va....check out the comments

Recently in the news, there were some parents

(in Dekalb County, I think) that suspected abuse. They sewed a small recorder

into his clothing and caught them that very next day. The parapro was asking

him if he wanted a " shut-up hit " (which indicated it had happened

before then because how else would he know what that meant).The listener could

adibly hear the child being hit and the child making a sound as a result of it;

this happened repeatedly. The cild came home black and blue with bruises wih an

excuse other than what really happened (obviously because the parents had it

recorded)

Then the teachers were *laughing* about him (the child)eating out of the

trashcan. Then another part of the conversation focused on the teachers sanding

around talking very, very explicitly (and obviously around this child for it to

be recorded) about the sex they had on their date the night before. It really

made me sick when I heard it.

I think it got posted online somewhere. And to the best of my recollection, I

think the child was nonverbal.

My policy: Trust no one.

January 19, 2010

I went immediately to the teacher. I didn't necessarily believe her, but I DID trust the female aid who was my supposed " friend. " I had known her for 4-5 years, knew her husband and daughters, had been to her church and home. She is the reason I believed them and not Tristan. Plus, Tristan had been known to say things about other kids - like " he hit me " when the other child had not. He had never said an adult had done anything to him, however. The male aid WAS very nice and friendly - he would comment on different Christian songs he liked, etc. I really was torn. I didn't want to ruin his life if Tristan was mistaken or not wording something properly.

At the I was working full-time for an extremely demanding French man. (The BEST boss I ever had was French, and the WORST boss - this one - were both French, and they were best friends. I worked for them 10 years apart.) This guy wanted me in the office at all times when he was. The office was 45 minutes from my home and the school on a good day with little to no traffic (not common in Houston). And at the time I didn't realize you COULD make unexpected visits to the school. Oh, looking back I did a lot of things wrong. I cried many hours over it, but I have trusted my gut since then. That's what makes me so angry - my gut was telling me the man was doing something, but I didn't listen. Uggghhhh.

No offense to you Sue, but from what I read, Shari was very vigilent

and acted immediately when her son started acting strange. Shari DID

listen to her son and Shari DID use common sense to get him out of that

situation as quickly as possible.

It just seems a little wrong to admonish her by suggesting she was not

believing her child, or that she was not trusting her instinct. I

think she did the right thing, and she did it quickly from what I read.

~~~~~~

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious

values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all

reality has spiritual control.

~~~~ Luther King, Jr.

se

Shari, We have to believe everything a young child tells us. What

motive (if they even have motives at our children's ages) would they

have.

My caution to everyone, if you *see* something is not right, then it

probably is not. If you *hear* it is not right, as well, trust your

child and trust your instinct. Do *not* pass it off because *they ae so

nice to you when you pick up your child*. Smiles can be fake....that is

their job to be syrupy to you.

I am not trying to instill unrealstic fears into anyone, but use your

common sense. In both our situations, our children started having

toileting problems & behavior that were out of the ordinary. If it

planly is not the *usual* for your child, then suspect that something

is wrong. make a surprise unannounced visit on different days to your

child's school. I did, and found my son in baby diapers in the morning

with clean unused underwear in his cubby, on several different

occassions.

Do not assume that people are going to do the right thing.

January 19, 2010

This makes me want to cry.