Re: An Autism Mom Says God Ruined My Child

[Guest guest]

Ah, Jo who will wrist slap autistics for calling a spade a fracking shovel,

but will allow parents to wallow in their pity parties.

Anyone said that on any community I had the IP list for, I'd be calling CPS. THe

" God Ruined My Child " pity party is the kind of stuff people say before they

murder or murder/suicide.

> From: environmental1st2003 <no_reply >

> Subject: An Autism Mom Says " God Ruined My Child "

> To: FAMSecretSociety

> Date: Wednesday, September 17, 2008, 1:11 AM

> http://autism.about.com/b/2008/09/16/an-autism-mom-says-god-ruined-my-

> child.htm

>

> http://autism.about.com/b/2008/09/16/an-autism-mom-says-god-ruined-my-

> child.htm

>

> An Autism Mom Says " God Ruined My Child "

>

> Tuesday September 16, 2008

>

> A long time ago, I wrote a blog reflecting on autism and

> parental

> guilt. Just today, I received this comment from a mom named

> Joan:

>

> " I prayed before I ever had kids that god would give

> me children that

> have no mental or social problems. I believe that god

> ruined him.

> What if the best my child can do is work as a greeter at

> Wal-mart,

> how does one accept your child is doomed, ruined, a waste

> of human

> life? I just am begging someone to help me understand

> this. "

>

> This, to me, is a really troubling comment. This mom asked

> for a

> trouble-free child, and received a child with autism. As a

> result,

> she is angry with God - and sees her child as

> " ruined...a waste of

> human life. " Of course, this doesn't bode well for

> the child who will

> be raised by a parent who sees her as a waste of life - nor

> does it

> bode well for the mental health of a mother who feels

> burdened to

> this degree.

>

> Joan feels that she made a bargain with God - and that God

> let her

> down by disregarding her prayer for a happy, well-adjusted

> child. But

> there is no such thing as a human being who experiences no

> pain,

> loss, frustration or sorrow. In fact, no matter how

> fervently we

> pray, we can't avoid the bad stuff that comes along

> with human life.

>

> There are many religious leaders who have addressed this

> question " why do bad things happen to good

> people? " And there are

> many answers out there. In the end, though, we all

> experience bad

> things, and we all have the choice of how to come to terms

> with, cope

> with, and even thrive in the face of those bad things.

>

> When I first started out as a the About.com Guide to

> Autism, I asked

> readers to share with me what they loved most about the

> autistic

> person in their lives. More than 150 people responded, and

> I put

> their responses together into a document on this site. Here

> are just

> a couple of those notes - and I think they're a perfect

> response to

> Joan:

>

> Everyone loves Jalen's smile. It is so beautiful, and

> it can make you

> temporarily forget all that's wrong in the world! He

> also is very

> earnest in his art projects — he's now 13, and they

> are pretty much

> preschool/young elementary school type projects — but I

> appreciate

> how good he feels about doing them. I also like the way

> he's

> developed — over the years, he's becoming much more

> caring. Comment

> by Whitfield

>

> What I love about having two autistic sons? Well, plenty.

> When our

> kiddo rode his tricycle for the first time, we went nuts.

> His first

> words at 2 and a half were the best sounds ever. When my

> youngest

> pointed for the first time at 14 months, I went out of my

> mind! See,

> for me, all those little " normal " things, things

> other parents take

> for granted every single day, are the highlights of my

> life. Would I

> trade that for a child who wouldn't have to face the

> challenges mine

> face every day (making eye contact, holding conversations,

> staying

> regulated) well, maybe. But, I wasn't given that

> choice. I was given

> the two most wonderful people I can imagine and I was given

> the gift

> of time with an early diagnosis to help them pull their way

> out of

> the rabbit hole. That's what I love about my autistic

> kids, they make

> me realize the joy in every single little moment, in every

> single

> little action in their life… and mine. -- Comment by Kari

>

> There are scores of responses like these - and I invite

> Joan and

> everyone else reading this blog to read them. Just as

> importantly, I

> invite readers to add their stories to the collection - so

> that

> others, like Joan, can see how a " ruined " child

> can bring joy to

> their own and others' lives.

[Guest guest]

" Ah, Jo who will wrist slap autistics for calling a spade a

fracking shovel, but will allow parents to wallow in their pity

parties. "

What's your opinion of Jo Rudy if you do not mind my asking? I

find her frustrating because -in the interest of remaining neutral-

she will not accept the proof medical science has given that autism

is genetic in origin.

Accepting the genetic origins of autism means a person can jettison

all the quack treatments and cures for autism. You can then focus

funds on assisting those who ask for it and require it with

educational and vocational training and whatever other accommodations

they may be needing.

Yet Jo Rudy perpetuates " discussion " on every little theory and

treatment that is out there.

Administrator

[Guest guest]

> From: environmental1st2003 <no_reply >

> Subject: Re: An Autism Mom Says " God Ruined My Child "

> To: FAMSecretSociety

> Date: Wednesday, September 17, 2008, 5:11 PM

>

>

> " Ah, Jo who will wrist slap autistics for calling

> a spade a

> fracking shovel, but will allow parents to wallow in their

> pity

> parties. "

>

> What's your opinion of Jo Rudy if you do not mind

> my asking? I

> find her frustrating because -in the interest of remaining

> neutral-

> she will not accept the proof medical science has given

> that autism

> is genetic in origin.

>

My honest opinion?

I thought she was an improvement over the last autism guide About.com had. This

lasted about 6 weeks. Not only does she give equal air time to the complete

looney-toons disproven hypotheses in interest of being " fair " , but she is also a

classic enabler of the BAAAWWWWWW PITY ME MY LIFE IS DESTROYED BECAUSE I HAD

THIS KID BAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW mentality.

Not only that, but oh, dare call someone on that, and it's personal attacking.

Ok, fine, you bet I'm attacking you, if you really want me to. But she jumps on

the " mean mean autistics attacking pooooor paaaaaaarents " bandwagon, and then

watches people flame said autistics to a crisp. What. The. Fu**? No.

And there was an Issue in which some kid was spamming his personal info all over

the forum, which is a safety issue, and she didn't do a blessed thing about it.

But oh, we have to protect the POOOOOR PAAAARENTS from being told that they're

wrong. *rolls eyes*

Kassiane

opinionated snot

[Guest guest]

Well you aren't exactly subtle- Not that that's a bad thing. But one

thing that does annoy me is being told by radicals " Congrats, you can

speak and type, ergo you are not autistic and I know better " , and...

" That's the mercury talking. "

" You're a drug company hack. "

" What can Zoe do, cure her boyfriend's impotence? " << *notes she does

not have a boyfriend, or had one in the first place.*

[Guest guest]

" Kassiane

opinionated snot "

Just my two cents. You are not an opinionated snot when you have good

grounds for formulating your opinion....which in this case I happen to

agree with.

Administrator

[Guest guest]

This always bothered me.

Every child is a product of their biological parents and their

environment. Ergo behaviors seen in the parents may be magnified in

the child (but they are related)

Ravi has texture issues. Many more than me " but I have them "

Even if a parent is Neurotypical the child is related and if the

parent related to their child they would in turn have a better life.

Accepting Ravi as both a seperate entity and a genetic relation as

in " hey he's mine " makes it easier to support his needs.

Many parent enjoy a shortcut version of parenting. more closely

related to being a dog owner that works full time. The " dog " just

has to deal while the " owner is working " Parenting isn't dog

ownership and treating it as your full time gig is what you have to

do. Dogs don't grow up and move away to live independantly.

Hopefully your child will to whatever degree they are capable of. I

can guarentee that they won't though if the parent is too busy with

other " things "

Many families with ASD children don't want help in supporting: they

want somone else to do the whole thing! I cannot imagine giving my

child to someone else to raise. Luckily I don't have to, even though

his needs were minor by many standards (no J tubes or lengthy

hospital stays)I was told to give up on him; for my sake.

I kept him, for my sake. I would be much less of a person without

him. He makes me the person I can be proud of. He makes me reach

(when I would never do it for myself) Where I am weak he makes me

strong. I have no real choice because I can't bear to fail him. I

know this echo's the thoughts of many other parents.

G'd truely gave me a gift. I was the one that was ruined before.

My father has even said to other family members. Ravi was good for

mimi For anyone that made it this far you must know that I would

have been violent to the mother that wrote the inital article. in my

opinion she deserves nothing just as she has given to others.

ok rant over mimi

[Guest guest]

> I kept him, for my sake. I would be much less of a person without

> him. He makes me the person I can be proud of. He makes me reach

> (when I would never do it for myself) Where I am weak he makes me

> strong. I have no real choice because I can't bear to fail him. I

> know this echo's the thoughts of many other parents.

Absolutely beautiful!

Kim

[Guest guest]

>

>

> > I kept him, for my sake. I would be much less of a person without

> > him. He makes me the person I can be proud of. He makes me reach

> > (when I would never do it for myself) Where I am weak he makes me

> > strong. I have no real choice because I can't bear to fail him. I

> > know this echo's the thoughts of many other parents.

>

>

>

> Absolutely beautiful!

>

> Kim

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with what you have wrote. I consider my son a blessing and he

has taught me so much.

>

> This always bothered me.

>

> Every child is a product of their biological parents and their

> environment. Ergo behaviors seen in the parents may be magnified

in

> the child (but they are related)

>

> Ravi has texture issues. Many more than me " but I have them "

>

> Even if a parent is Neurotypical the child is related and if the

> parent related to their child they would in turn have a better life.

>

> Accepting Ravi as both a seperate entity and a genetic relation

as

> in " hey he's mine " makes it easier to support his needs.

>

> Many parent enjoy a shortcut version of parenting. more closely

> related to being a dog owner that works full time. The " dog " just

> has to deal while the " owner is working " Parenting isn't dog

> ownership and treating it as your full time gig is what you have to

> do. Dogs don't grow up and move away to live independantly.

> Hopefully your child will to whatever degree they are capable of.

I

> can guarentee that they won't though if the parent is too busy with

> other " things "

>

> Many families with ASD children don't want help in supporting: they

> want somone else to do the whole thing! I cannot imagine giving my

> child to someone else to raise. Luckily I don't have to, even

though

> his needs were minor by many standards (no J tubes or lengthy

> hospital stays)I was told to give up on him; for my sake.

>

> I kept him, for my sake. I would be much less of a person without

> him. He makes me the person I can be proud of. He makes me reach

> (when I would never do it for myself) Where I am weak he makes me

> strong. I have no real choice because I can't bear to fail him. I

> know this echo's the thoughts of many other parents.

>

> G'd truely gave me a gift. I was the one that was ruined before.

>

> My father has even said to other family members. Ravi was good for

> mimi For anyone that made it this far you must know that I would

> have been violent to the mother that wrote the inital article. in

my

> opinion she deserves nothing just as she has given to others.

>

> ok rant over mimi

>