Re: Pain and anger, boy do I have it today!!

[Guest guest]

Oh wow Lynn, do I hear you! I have a son who was much the same way. Only I took him to a mental hospital when he started to take lots of drugs and even if I said no not allowed in this house he would still do it. I was so stressed out I was sick all the time. I finally had to call the mental health office and tell them about this boy of mine. Anyway, wont go into the whole two years of torment he gave me but he is now living in another place with people who know how to deal with depression, drugs and drinking. When ever we talk and I still call my son from time to time he still wants to come out here and live in the streets so he can take drugs, drink and come banging on my door at 3 in the morning and wake the other two kids. I can get so stressed out with him that I had like three flairs while he was here. So here is a HUG and even though it's hard to stay calm with someone who is ungreatful, we must for our sake not theirs. LOL

Hugs' GingerLynn D wrote:

Greetings to all,

I just yesterday had a screaming fight with my Mother and cried for several hours. My brother has been staying with us since early September when he broke his leg. He is now pretty much healed but still spends most of each day in bed whining. He does everything he can to make my life miserable and respects nothing here. He follows none of my Mothers house rules. Then I was trying to explain some information on unemployment to him and he said it was too much of a bother to fill in the paperwork where they want to know who you contacted looking for work. I just looked at him and said "I am so done with you!"

I have done nothing but try and help him since he has been here and he cannot say Thank you for anything, he can't even say please, for that matter, he does not even know how to ask for help. He expects everything to fall from the sky into his lap. He is most likely bi-polar like my father but refuses to seek treatment. My mother lets him do as he pleases and yelled at me the other day that I wiped crumbs onto the floor when I was trying to clean off the table. I lost it. I am on maximum narcotics everyday and trying to function and help out where I can and I get criticized. No one takes into account that I have suffered brain trauma and frustrate easily or that I am in constant pain. They both make me feel bad and I have pretty much had it. Her answer as to his not following the rules was "Well, he is only here for the short term" Hmm, it is going on 3 months now and I don't see him

making any attempt to leave.

So, thank you for letting me vent, I am finding my tolerance for other peoples self centeredness and lack of empathy for those that are really suffering has pretty much got up and gone. I am so thankful that I am not worse off than I am but please don't cry to me when you break a nail!!! LOL

Lynn

[Guest guest]

Thanks Ginger,

I love my brother very much and I hate him with the same passion. He was in Vegas and quit to come back here and finally try and have a relationship with his daughter after 12 years. He got heavy into drugs and gambling out there and never went thru any formal treatment. His moods really vascilate but he really gets dark and negative and angry the most. He thinks my mom and I are nuts for taking anti-depressants and thinks therapy is for babies. It is such a waste to struggle so much with life, I wish he could see that.

He just voted this year for the first time because he could go with us, he was too afraid and anxiety ridden before, plus, he wanted to piss in my wheaties and vote opposite of me. I told him that I took this election very personal as I am at the mercy of the state at this point and I would be on the street if not for my mother, the Great former Governor Tommy did away with all forms of aid in this state trying to get rid of welfare fraud. Fraud is awful but why not treat the problem. Now single sick people here get no help. Anyway, that is off the topic.

I have been flaring a lot lately and I know it is from all this stress. My mom's favoring him on everything just makes it worse and I told her yesterday that our relationship is in real jeopardy. We did not even finish our conversation as she went to the neighbors to show them some of her photography. I took that as a real indicator of where I fall on the importance scale of things. My therapist told me to get out as much as I can or spend as much time alone when I am home as I can, so that is my plan, in the meantime I need as many prayers as possible that my disability gets approved or that I can get well enough to go back to work full-time. Thanks for sharing the pain you have had with your son. I went through it with my Father also and finally had to just cut him from my life. My therapist at the time said to me," What value does he ad to your life? NONE, What stress does he ad? Tons. That was a no brainer.

Lynn

-- Re: Pain and anger, boy do I have it today!!

Oh wow Lynn, do I hear you! I have a son who was much the same way. Only I took him to a mental hospital when he started to take lots of drugs and even if I said no not allowed in this house he would still do it. I was so stressed out I was sick all the time. I finally had to call the mental health office and tell them about this boy of mine. Anyway, wont go into the whole two years of torment he gave me but he is now living in another place with people who know how to deal with depression, drugs and drinking. When ever we talk and I still call my son from time to time he still wants to come out here and live in the streets so he can take drugs, drink and come banging on my door at 3 in the morning and wake the other two kids. I can get so stressed out with him that I had like three flairs while he was here. So here is a HUG and even though it's hard to stay calm with someone who is ungreatful, we must for our sake not theirs. LOL

Hugs' GingerLynn D wrote:

Greetings to all,

I just yesterday had a screaming fight with my Mother and cried for several hours. My brother has been staying with us since early September when he broke his leg. He is now pretty much healed but still spends most of each day in bed whining. He does everything he can to make my life miserable and respects nothing here. He follows none of my Mothers house rules. Then I was trying to explain some information on unemployment to him and he said it was too much of a bother to fill in the paperwork where they want to know who you contacted looking for work. I just looked at him and said "I am so done with you!"

I have done nothing but try and help him since he has been here and he cannot say Thank you for anything, he can't even say please, for that matter, he does not even know how to ask for help. He expects everything to fall from the sky into his lap. He is most likely bi-polar like my father but refuses to seek treatment. My mother lets him do as he pleases and yelled at me the other day that I wiped crumbs onto the floor when I was trying to clean off the table. I lost it. I am on maximum narcotics everyday and trying to function and help out where I can and I get criticized. No one takes into account that I have suffered brain trauma and frustrate easily or that I am in constant pain. They both make me feel bad and I have pretty much had it. Her answer as to his not following the rules was "Well, he is only here for the short term" Hmm, it is going on 3 months now and I don't se! e him making any attempt to leave.

So, thank you for letting me vent, I am finding my tolerance for other peoples self centeredness and lack of empathy for those that are really suffering has pretty much got up and gone. I am so thankful that I am not worse off than I am but please don't cry to me when you break a nail!!! LOL

Lynn

[Guest guest]

Hey Lynn.

What a lousy day you're having. I'd suggest a punch bag, but I suspect

that would cause more pain! Seriously, though, I'm sorry you're having

such a trying time. Does your Mother not back you up at all with your

brother? Is she afraid of how he'll react? If he's healed up, when will

he be off home? I'm afraid nothing I write will help much. Just know I

AM thinking of you so much.

With Love

C 2

> Greetings to all,

> I just yesterday had a screaming fight with my Mother and cried for

> several hours.  My brother has been staying with us since early

> September when he broke his leg.  He is now pretty much healed but

> still spends most of each day in bed whining.  He does everything he

> can to make my life miserable and respects nothing here.  He follows

> none of my Mothers house rules.  Then I was trying to explain some

> information on unemployment to him and he said it was too much of a

> bother to fill in the paperwork where they want to know who you

> contacted looking for work.  I just looked at him and said " I am so

> done with you! "  

>  

> I have done nothing but try and help him since he has been here and he

> cannot say Thank you for anything, he can't even say please, for that

> matter, he does not even know how to ask for help.  He expects

> everything to fall from the sky into his lap.  He is most likely

> bi-polar like my father but refuses to seek treatment.  My mother lets

> him do as he pleases and yelled at me the other day that I wiped

> crumbs onto the floor when I was trying to clean off the table.  I

> lost it.  I am on maximum narcotics everyday and trying to function

> and help out where I can and I get criticized.  No one takes into

> account that I have suffered brain trauma and frustrate easily or that

> I am in constant pain.  They both make me feel bad and I have pretty

> much had it. Her answer as to his not following the rules was " Well,

> he is only here for the short term "   Hmm, it is going on 3 months now

> and I don't see him making any attempt to leave. 

>  

> So, thank you for letting me vent, I am finding my tolerance for other

> peoples self centeredness and lack of empathy for those that are

> really suffering has pretty much got up and gone.  I am so thankful

> that I am not worse off than I am but please don't cry to me when you

> break a nail!!!  LOL

> Lynn

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[Guest guest]

Just read your previous replies, so they pretty well answer my points

about your mum.

Can you get together with your mother to confront your brother and say

that he can only stay if he is drug free and gets help with his other

problems? Otherwise he has to leave. Or is that too simplistic?

Much love

C 2

> Hey Lynn.

>

> What a lousy day you're having. I'd suggest a punch bag, but I suspect

> that would cause more pain! Seriously, though, I'm sorry you're having

> such a trying time. Does your Mother not back you up at all with your

> brother? Is she afraid of how he'll react? If he's healed up, when

> will he be off home? I'm afraid nothing I write will help much. Just

> know I AM thinking of you so much.

>

> With Love

>

> C 2

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