Why I can Never Die

[Guest guest]

You think wrinkles and gray hair

are the scourges of aging? Try imagining your child with autism as an

adult and at the mercy of a state run home, an institution or even

prison while you're slumbering away in a pine box.

I'd be happy to look like a Shar Pei if I could stop worrying about

what is going to happen to my girls when I die. I sit at Church on

Sunday and listen to my priest tell me about the joy that awaits in

heaven. "Are you crazy?" I think to myself. "What will happen to my

kids?" I know won't be the only Mom up there (hey, a girl can hope for

the best) who is wracked with worry. We'll wear holes in the clouds as

we pace.

There are two stories in the media right now that address my "I can

never die" fears. And they highlight why I think medically treating

autism is imperative, as tens of thousands of cute youngsters with

autism race toward adulthood.

First is the tragic story of Sky , an eighteen year old with

severe autism in Portage County, Ohio. Sky was in jail for months,

charged in the beating death of his single mother, Kent State

University Professor Dr. Trudy Steuernagel. (He was just released to a

more appropriate facility in Ohio, I'm told.) Sky is profoundly

affected by his autism. (You can read full details on the Sky

case from arrest through arraignment here.)

I think of Sky every night when I tuck my girls safely into their

beds, knowing he's sleeping somewhere in Ohio, without a mother's kiss

goodnight. He must be terrified, confused and angry. I can barely think

of Dr. Steuernagel and her violent death without losing my breath. It's

every autism parent's nightmare come true. You're dead and your kid is

alone in the world. That she died (allegedly) at the hands of her son

makes the case unbearable.

Second is the story of Dr. Wakefield, a British physician at

the center of the increasing questions about vaccines and autism. He is

facing a challenge to his career that rivals anything that happened in

Salem, Massachusetts centuries ago. It would be impossible to summarize

the gauntlet Dr. Wakefield has navigated in his effort to medically

assist children with autism in a short post. You can read about it here. Dr. Wakefield, and a small cadre of doctors like him, is fighting to help children with autism function better.

I don't think people with autism are naturally violent. I also don't

believe they are mentally ill, even though the diagnosis is classified

as mental illness. I think they need far more medical care than the

current system of shunting people with autism to psychiatrists and

neurologists is able to offer. Addressing the real physical problems

associated with autism can greatly ameliorate dreadful behaviors. Most

traditional docs simply don't believe autism is treatable outside of

therapy and powerful psych drugs (both of which have their place in

treatment, but they aren't the only options.)

Oil of Olay and Lady Clairol will get me through the next couple of

decades. By then I pray that we can treat/manage/cure (call it whatever

makes you happy, this post isn't about choosing sides on that debate)

autism so that that there will never be another Sky facing

murder charges because of his behavior. And that there will be

thousands of doctors like Dr. Wakefield to make that happen.

Then maybe, just maybe, "rest in peace" will be an option for those of us with a child on the spectrum. Kim Stagliano/Age of Autism

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