just venting

[Guest guest]

FD,

Yes, yes yes!!! Honestly, I do not know how you do it. Several of

you on this list are still in such a bad place with OCD. The worst

with my daughter lasted a month maybe, and I didn't eat or sleep much

at all for that month. You must be thinking. " a month?! I'd kill for

that! " and you're right. At the time I thought no one else could

have it worse, now it pains me so much to see so many here suffering.

I would have a knot in my stomach constantly, I also cried at every

mealtime. Heck, I pretty much cried all day. If things had gone on

longer I know I would have wound up in the hospital. I am not as

strong as many of you here, so it's a blessing that we did get

help/relief so quickly.

I dreaded waking up in the morning, facing the long day again. I

dreaded waking HER up, dreaded having HER come home from school. (At

least you say " IT " , not " HER " - you know it's the OCD you're

frustrated with!) What a terrible feeling, not wanting to be with

your own child. Of course I buried it all because I knew she needed

me, but I was terrified I'd never feel close to her again.

Amazing that now she is the light of my life again, and I miss her so

much while she's at school, I enjoy talking with her and spending time

with her. You will get there, too, have faith in that - you are doing

the right things to get back on track. Just the fact that you are

active on this list says so much about your dedication to your family.

Vent anytime!

nna.

[Guest guest]

FD-

((HUGS)) to you and your family, and kudos to you for being able to

recognize IT for what IT is, although that does not make IT any

easier to deal with in the heat/height of OCD.

I remember thinking I could not deal with another moment; -lying

awake at night with concerns; -getting a pit in my stomach at the

sound of the alarm clock as a signal to get up and face IT again.

IT is so very hard, and no one outside of this group or another

family affected by OCD can truly appreciate your agony.

Please know that you are not alone; that there are others who share

and care; and most of all, that there IS light at the end of the

tunnel, as pinpoint as it may seem right now. There was a time that

I thought I would *never* be able to offer hope or comfort to anyone

with a child affected by OCD. I remember reading in one of my

resouce books that there would be significant improvement after ~20

therapy visits...not so in our case, and I felt guilty. It took

nearly 9 full months to see sustained improvement....prior to that

time it felt like one or two eensy weensy baby steps forward and

then a step back...we seemed to do more waxing than waning during

the initial phase. This, apparently, is not too terribly uncommon,

I've been told.

You are on the right track, doing the right things, and loving your

daughter beyond measure. Keep up the great work, keep the faith,

and try to take care of yourself too.

Blessings-

(Ohio) Mom to Anne, 14, a great kid who happens to have OCD

(Lexapro & CBT); inattentive ADHD(Concerta); and type I diabetes

(insulin x 4 shots/day...getting a practice insulin pump in 1 week

[Guest guest]

Thank you all so much to those that have/are replying.

>> and no one outside of this group or another

>> family affected by OCD can truly appreciate your agony.

This has been a true eye opener and humbling experience for us.

First, my wife says that she isn't connecting with

anymore. And she's a very emotional and likes closeness.

can be so cold and distant, and it's killing my dear wife of 14

years. But we used to be judgemental with other family members and

friends of their children who had ADHD, or other emotional

problems. It's easy to judge when you only see them for a few

hours. It's always easy to tell someone else how to fix their

issues. But when you live with it 24 hours a day, you gain a whole

new perspective on life, and have a much better appreciation of

others with similar and worse problems.

My wife says to me that I have to be patient. I admit my patience

wears thin very fast. But she says, " if we don't love her, who

will? "

That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. And we still have a

roof over our head, food on the table, our physical health, clean

water to drink, and a job to provide for it all. Even in our

troubles, we are blessed beyond comparison. It could always be

worse...

Cheers,

FD

>

> FD-

>

> ((HUGS)) to you and your family, and kudos to you for being able

to

> recognize IT for what IT is, although that does not make IT any

> easier to deal with in the heat/height of OCD.

>

> I remember thinking I could not deal with another moment; -lying

> awake at night with concerns; -getting a pit in my stomach at the

> sound of the alarm clock as a signal to get up and face IT again.

> IT is so very hard, and no one outside of this group or another

> family affected by OCD can truly appreciate your agony.

> Please know that you are not alone; that there are others who

share

> and care; and most of all, that there IS light at the end of the

> tunnel, as pinpoint as it may seem right now. There was a time

that

> I thought I would *never* be able to offer hope or comfort to

anyone

> with a child affected by OCD. I remember reading in one of my

> resouce books that there would be significant improvement after

~20

> therapy visits...not so in our case, and I felt guilty. It took

> nearly 9 full months to see sustained improvement....prior to that

> time it felt like one or two eensy weensy baby steps forward and

> then a step back...we seemed to do more waxing than waning during

> the initial phase. This, apparently, is not too terribly

uncommon,

> I've been told.

>

> You are on the right track, doing the right things, and loving

your

> daughter beyond measure. Keep up the great work, keep the faith,

> and try to take care of yourself too.

>

> Blessings-

> (Ohio) Mom to Anne, 14, a great kid who happens to have OCD

> (Lexapro & CBT); inattentive ADHD(Concerta); and type I diabetes

> (insulin x 4 shots/day...getting a practice insulin pump in 1 week

[Guest guest]

> First, my wife says that she isn't connecting with

> anymore. And she's a very emotional and likes closeness.

can be so cold and distant, and it's killing my dear wife

of 14 years.

**I remember telling the therapist that I didn't know how to reach

Anne early on. It, too, was such a very different experience

because we had been so close, and OCD had really taken over that

position.

One of the suggestions our therapist made that helped us make some

inroads involved asking Anne what OCD had done for her recently;

why did she that she needed to protect IT so; had *any* of OCD's

messages been true? Did *she* want to continue to be sucked into

OCD's lies? She had described OCD as her protector, as a Darth

Vader father. We asked her who *really* protected her and cared for

her. It wasn't a matter so much of telling her anything, but rather

planting the seeds of questions so she could mull it over in her

mind. It seemed to make some impact, and I still use questions

today if I'm 'wondering' something about OCD.***

>But we used to be judgemental with other family members and

> friends of their children who had ADHD, or other emotional

> problems. It's easy to judge when you only see them for a few

> hours. It's always easy to tell someone else how to fix their

> issues. But when you live with it 24 hours a day, you gain a

whole new perspective on life, and have a much better appreciation

of others with similar and worse problems.

***Oh, how true. I used to think that ADHD was a figment of an

unskilled parent's imagination until I found myself living with the

utter frustration of it. Life is humbling-***

> That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.

**I love this quote. I mentioned it to Anne this morning as she was

getting ready for school. She stopped a minute to think, and said-

'That's so true.' She's going to use it as an away message for

AIM!***

Blessings to you and your family, FD. ((HUGS)) to all as you

continue to make progress on the road to reclaiming your lives from

IT.

(Ohio)

[Guest guest]

My youngest who just turned 1 on Valentine's Day will be starting hed start next

weeek. The ped. said he was at riskk for social so with my other children and

their set backs I thought a great idea. My mom whoo has not been ariund for

years had to pipe in her opinion and of course she thinks its off the wall. I

tried to tell her it is not as simple as abcs or that they would be expecting

him ti write a journal and that he was already 25 percent delay in certain

areas. So to all of this she pipes in maybe I should have let them put you on

prozac when you were little and I replied maybe you should have or attempted to

understand my struggles growing up as Ii do for my children. I just want to

scream at peoples ignorance and non understanding.

[Guest guest]

A mother's gut instinct is almost always right...Good for you for doing what you deem best for your baby...

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Sunday, March 15, 2009 7:41:47 PMSubject: just venting

My youngest who just turned 1 on Valentine's Day will be starting hed start next weeek. The ped. said he was at riskk for social so with my other children and their set backs I thought a great idea. My mom whoo has not been ariund for years had to pipe in her opinion and of course she thinks its off the wall. I tried to tell her it is not as simple as abcs or that they would be expecting him ti write a journal and that he was already 25 percent delay in certain areas. So to all of this she pipes in maybe I should have let them put you on prozac when you were little and I replied maybe you should have or attempted to understand my struggles growing up as Ii do for my children. I just want to scream at peoples ignorance and non understanding.

[Guest guest]

>

> A mother's gut instinct is almost always right...Good for you for doing what

you deem best for your baby...

>

> e

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: AutismBehaviorProblems

> Sent: Sunday, March 15, 2009 7:41:47 PM

> Subject: just venting

>

>

> My youngest who just turned 1 on Valentine's Day will be starting hed start

next weeek. The ped. said he was at riskk for social so with my other children

and their set backs I thought a great idea. My mom whoo has not been ariund for

years had to pipe in her opinion and of course she thinks its off the wall. I

tried to tell her it is not as simple as abcs or that they would be expecting

him ti write a journal and that he was already 25 percent delay in certain

areas. So to all of this she pipes in maybe I should have let them put you on

prozac when you were little and I replied maybe you should have or attempted to

understand my struggles growing up as Ii do for my children. I just want to

scream at peoples ignorance and non understanding.

>

Thanks e.