Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

[Guest guest]

From what I read...it is a rare thing for those most affected by Autism to recover... may never. He may be ahead of some, and behind others...that's why I like the word, recovery instead of cure...cure seems to have a stopping point, where as recovery is something that goes on a lifetime. is beautiful, thoughtful, loving, cuddly, kissable...and much more "recovered" then he would have been without all the interventions you've done. too............as gets older we'll see. Yes, I'd love a cure, only because I don't want him to suffer, and or be made fun of...I worry about him when I die, etc....but God is good, and just like you, my biggest dream for him is to be happy, comfortable and loved....

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 1:30:58 PMSubject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

e,

Well said. My biggest dream for is to be the best he can and to be happy,comfortable, loved and appreciated for who he is. I will always push a bit but I would much rather he learned a little slower and remained for the most part a happy loving boy. This was a hard lesson for me since I felt we had to do it all now. is a wonderful, sweet, loving, volatile,frustratin g,stubborn, beautiful boy. Of course I wish he was cured or recovered, but I will always love him for the great kid he is despite all the frustration and confusion he experiences everyday. He tries so hard and even when he is doing badly you can see in his eyes that he doesn't want to and it is out of his control. Our kids have so much to offer the world if the world could just accept it. Kellie

From: ljdjd1234 <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 12:57:38 PMSubject: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

You are right -- Our kids can "recover", and many, with lots of therapy, love and time, will not test as Autistic any longer but, this is not a cure, rather it is recovery.. I've seen "recovered" children, and or read about them...they function beautifully, and to the general population their Autism can go unnoticed, but from everything I've read and heard and seen...these kiddos still have deficits in language, in social skills, etc...MUCH better and Praise God for that, but not totally NT.I agree with you and you say it beautifully.. ..I want (my 29 month old) to be the best he can be. If he is not "cured, and or recovered" --- and some will never be no matter how much money we spend --- I want to be loved for who he is...to be embraced for what makes him different and special. He is an awe-inspiring little man...sees the world through eyes, that Isometimes envy (not the panic he feels, etc....that makes my body ache for him), but the

fun interesting little quirks he has that must make life fun for him at times...His ability to tune out...I realize this is not the end all end all, and that he must learn to tune in...but my oh my how I'd like to tune out every once in a while. :)I think those who believe in a cure are helping to push the establishment to do better by our kids, this is a good thing, as I see more and more services beginning to be offered (not for us, as we still pay out of pocket in our state for ABA, but I do see it getting beter)...my fear is that with a "cure" being the sole focal point, that we will stop embracing who they are a God's special people...with special needs, no matter how recovered they are... That we will demand more from them then they are able to give...e

[Guest guest]

e and all

I think I have finally found a home where I can be myself - e you have hit the nail on the head. I have avoided most support groups for Autism and a lot of yahoo sites for Autism cause everybody wants to blame someone or something for the way their child is.

I like you just want to accept him for who he is and what he can be. For a kid with Autism he sure has an emotional side. My mom and dad died two years ago - 7 months apart. He was crushed about my mom as was I. To this day he asks me if I am sad that Grandma Lu went away and to this day I say yes, he then holds me lets me cry and then we joke about something funny she used to do.

He has so much love and caring in his little 10 year old body more than half the adults I know. But there is the icky side - Autism that rears its ugly head more often than not as of late. I know he is growing and I have done the best for him that I can. His teachers love him, most adults he meets feel the same way. Kids are mean and don't like him. I don't believe there is a cure for Autism either, I do believe that we can work with our kids as much as possible to make their lives more livable in our world since our world is the one that won't accept them. Do I want to change the person he is NO I don't, but I do want to scream to the world to accept him as he is. But the world will not listen so I will do my best to get him what he needs to be accepted in this world and not seem so different.

He was diagnosed very early tender age of 2 (more common nowadays - but not when I was entering this world) he just wasn't right, didn't talk, didn't look you in the eye, screamed when he wanted something and then would throw said item on the floor and watch it spill or spin or whatever. We worked with him through many types of therapy, you name it we did it except floor time, ABA and TEACH. we just had round the clock therapy appointments. He has responded well, but now when I need those services the school says no and the therapy places say he is too old now - we can't work with him. So my husband and I have taken on the responsibility to do it. And yes it's hard and I feel horrible when I have to take things away from him - hence this morning's e-mail. I feel awful but he has to learn that the world will NOT revolve around him - he has to agree to meet the world in the middle.

Okay I have rambled on way to much got on my soap box. But I love him for who he is Autism and all. I just forget sometimes.

Sharon

Subject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?To: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Saturday, March 28, 2009, 2:02 PM

From what I read...it is a rare thing for those most affected by Autism to recover... may never. He may be ahead of some, and behind others...that' s why I like the word, recovery instead of cure...cure seems to have a stopping point, where as recovery is something that goes on a lifetime. is beautiful, thoughtful, loving, cuddly, kissable...and much more "recovered" then he would have been without all the interventions you've done. too......... ...as gets older we'll see. Yes, I'd love a cure, only because I don't want him to suffer, and or be made fun of...I worry about him when I die, etc....but God is good, and just like you, my biggest dream for him is to be happy, comfortable and loved....

e

From: Kellie Folkerts <folkangelymail (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 1:30:58 PMSubject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

e,

Well said. My biggest dream for is to be the best he can and to be happy,comfortable, loved and appreciated for who he is. I will always push a bit but I would much rather he learned a little slower and remained for the most part a happy loving boy. This was a hard lesson for me since I felt we had to do it all now. is a wonderful, sweet, loving, volatile,frustratin g,stubborn, beautiful boy. Of course I wish he was cured or recovered, but I will always love him for the great kid he is despite all the frustration and confusion he experiences everyday. He tries so hard and even when he is doing badly you can see in his eyes that he doesn't want to and it is out of his control. Our kids have so much to offer the world if the world could just accept it. Kellie

From: ljdjd1234 <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 12:57:38 PMSubject: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

You are right -- Our kids can "recover", and many, with lots of therapy, love and time, will not test as Autistic any longer but, this is not a cure, rather it is recovery.. I've seen "recovered" children, and or read about them...they function beautifully, and to the general population their Autism can go unnoticed, but from everything I've read and heard and seen...these kiddos still have deficits in language, in social skills, etc...MUCH better and Praise God for that, but not totally NT.I agree with you and you say it beautifully. . ..I want (my 29 month old) to be the best he can be. If he is not "cured, and or recovered" --- and some will never be no matter how much money we spend --- I want to be loved for who he is...to be embraced for what makes him different and special. He is an awe-inspiring little man...sees the world through eyes, that Isometimes envy (not the panic he feels, etc....that makes my body ache for him),

but the fun interesting little quirks he has that must make life fun for him at times...His ability to tune out...I realize this is not the end all end all, and that he must learn to tune in...but my oh my how I'd like to tune out every once in a while. :)I think those who believe in a cure are helping to push the establishment to do better by our kids, this is a good thing, as I see more and more services beginning to be offered (not for us, as we still pay out of pocket in our state for ABA, but I do see it getting beter)...my fear is that with a "cure" being the sole focal point, that we will stop embracing who they are a God's special people...with special needs, no matter how recovered they are... That we will demand more from them then they are able to give...e

[Guest guest]

Sharon...I love your rambling, much like I love Kellie's LOL...you are filled with wonderful mommy insights that can only be attained through years and work...I hope to be like the two of you when is older --- well actually like so many of the mom's on this group...we have a fantastic group. I can't blame anyone...and am really tired of infighting. I like it peaceful LOL.... I only know from my own experience, that was born this way...he was. I noticed signs at 4 months (hind sight is 20/20)...anyhow, don't want to go on about that...other than to say, I adore this little blessing from heaven of mine, and while it has been 3 weeks from hell....I keep going, cause he's worth it. It will be what he will be, and it really is that

simple.

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 2:29:08 PMSubject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

e and all

I think I have finally found a home where I can be myself - e you have hit the nail on the head. I have avoided most support groups for Autism and a lot of yahoo sites for Autism cause everybody wants to blame someone or something for the way their child is.

I like you just want to accept him for who he is and what he can be. For a kid with Autism he sure has an emotional side. My mom and dad died two years ago - 7 months apart. He was crushed about my mom as was I. To this day he asks me if I am sad that Grandma Lu went away and to this day I say yes, he then holds me lets me cry and then we joke about something funny she used to do.

He has so much love and caring in his little 10 year old body more than half the adults I know. But there is the icky side - Autism that rears its ugly head more often than not as of late. I know he is growing and I have done the best for him that I can. His teachers love him, most adults he meets feel the same way. Kids are mean and don't like him. I don't believe there is a cure for Autism either, I do believe that we can work with our kids as much as possible to make their lives more livable in our world since our world is the one that won't accept them. Do I want to change the person he is NO I don't, but I do want to scream to the world to accept him as he is. But the world will not listen so I will do my best to get him what he needs to be accepted in this world and not seem so different.

He was diagnosed very early tender age of 2 (more common nowadays - but not when I was entering this world) he just wasn't right, didn't talk, didn't look you in the eye, screamed when he wanted something and then would throw said item on the floor and watch it spill or spin or whatever. We worked with him through many types of therapy, you name it we did it except floor time, ABA and TEACH. we just had round the clock therapy appointments. He has responded well, but now when I need those services the school says no and the therapy places say he is too old now - we can't work with him. So my husband and I have taken on the responsibility to do it. And yes it's hard and I feel horrible when I have to take things away from him - hence this morning's e-mail. I feel awful but he has to learn that the world will NOT revolve around him - he has to agree to meet the world in the middle.

Okay I have rambled on way to much got on my soap box. But I love him for who he is Autism and all. I just forget sometimes.

Sharon

From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>Subject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Saturday, March 28, 2009, 2:02 PM

From what I read...it is a rare thing for those most affected by Autism to recover... may never. He may be ahead of some, and behind others...that' s why I like the word, recovery instead of cure...cure seems to have a stopping point, where as recovery is something that goes on a lifetime. is beautiful, thoughtful, loving, cuddly, kissable...and much more "recovered" then he would have been without all the interventions you've done. too.......... ...as gets older we'll see. Yes, I'd love a cure, only because I don't want him to suffer, and or be made fun of...I worry about him when I die, etc....but God is good, and just like you, my biggest dream for him is to be happy, comfortable and loved....

e

From: Kellie Folkerts <folkangelymail (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 1:30:58 PMSubject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

e,

Well said. My biggest dream for is to be the best he can and to be happy,comfortable, loved and appreciated for who he is. I will always push a bit but I would much rather he learned a little slower and remained for the most part a happy loving boy. This was a hard lesson for me since I felt we had to do it all now. is a wonderful, sweet, loving, volatile,frustratin g,stubborn, beautiful boy. Of course I wish he was cured or recovered, but I will always love him for the great kid he is despite all the frustration and confusion he experiences everyday. He tries so hard and even when he is doing badly you can see in his eyes that he doesn't want to and it is out of his control. Our kids have so much to offer the world if the world could just accept it. Kellie

From: ljdjd1234 <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 12:57:38 PMSubject: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

You are right -- Our kids can "recover", and many, with lots of therapy, love and time, will not test as Autistic any longer but, this is not a cure, rather it is recovery.. I've seen "recovered" children, and or read about them...they function beautifully, and to the general population their Autism can go unnoticed, but from everything I've read and heard and seen...these kiddos still have deficits in language, in social skills, etc...MUCH better and Praise God for that, but not totally NT.I agree with you and you say it beautifully. . ..I want (my 29 month old) to be the best he can be. If he is not "cured, and or recovered" --- and some will never be no matter how much money we spend --- I want to be loved for who he is....to be embraced for what makes him different and special. He is an awe-inspiring little man...sees the world through eyes, that Isometimes envy (not the panic he feels, etc....that makes my body ache for him),

but the fun interesting little quirks he has that must make life fun for him at times...His ability to tune out...I realize this is not the end all end all, and that he must learn to tune in...but my oh my how I'd like to tune out every once in a while. :)I think those who believe in a cure are helping to push the establishment to do better by our kids, this is a good thing, as I see more and more services beginning to be offered (not for us, as we still pay out of pocket in our state for ABA, but I do see it getting beter)...my fear is that with a "cure" being the sole focal point, that we will stop embracing who they are a God's special people...with special needs, no matter how recovered they are... That we will demand more from them then they are able to

give...e

[Guest guest]

Sharon, I'm glad you didn't avoid this group; you add so much. Pat K

Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

You are right -- Our kids can "recover", and many, with lots of therapy, love and time, will not test as Autistic any longer but, this is not a cure, rather it is recovery.. I've seen "recovered" children, and or read about them...they function beautifully, and to the general population their Autism can go unnoticed, but from everything I've read and heard and seen...these kiddos still have deficits in language, in social skills, etc...MUCH better and Praise God for that, but not totally NT.

I agree with you and you say it beautifully. . ..I want (my 29 month old) to be the best he can be. If he is not "cured, and or recovered" --- and some will never be no matter how much money we spend --- I want to be loved for who he is...to be embraced for what makes him different and special. He is an awe-inspiring little man...sees the world through eyes, that Isometimes envy (not the panic he feels, etc....that makes my body ache for him), but the fun interesting little quirks he has that must make life fun for him at times...His ability to tune out...I realize this is not the end all end all, and that he must learn to tune in...but my oh my how I'd like to tune out every once in a while.

I think those who believe in a cure are helping to push the establishment to do better by our kids, this is a good thing, as I see more and more services beginning to be offered (not for us, as we still pay out of pocket in our state for ABA, but I do see it getting beter)...my fear is that with a "cure" being the sole focal point, that we will stop embracing who they are a God's special people...with special needs, no matter how recovered they are... That we will demand more from them then they are able to give...

e

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[Guest guest]

e,Everything you said in this post, I comepletely agree with. I don't like the word cure either when it comes to Autism. With us we just live day by day, minute by minute. I don't want to look ahead any further then that. I don't want to think what ifs, and they don't happen and I am left with a broken heart because I set myself up. Miss Jenna use to always tell me that in a couple years will probably be in a general classroom. And Mrs L always says to me it just gets easier as they get older. I don't want to look ahead like that and hope, because that time may not come. So I accept what is now, and to me it is what it is. And someday if those things do happen then great!StacieSent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: Two Blessings Date: Sat, 28 Mar 2009 12:02:18 -0700 (PDT)To: <AutismBehaviorProblems >Subject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it? From what I read...it is a rare thing for those most affected by Autism to recover... may never. He may be ahead of some, and behind others...that's why I like the word, recovery instead of cure...cure seems to have a stopping point, where as recovery is something that goes on a lifetime. is beautiful, thoughtful, loving, cuddly, kissable...and much more "recovered" then he would have been without all the interventions you've done. too............as gets older we'll see. Yes, I'd love a cure, only because I don't want him to suffer, and or be made fun of...I worry about him when I die, etc....but God is good, and just like you, my biggest dream for him is to be happy, comfortable and loved.... eFrom: Kellie Folkerts <folkangelymail>To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 1:30:58 PMSubject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?e, Well said. My biggest dream for is to be the best he can and to be happy,comfortable, loved and appreciated for who he is. I will always push a bit but I would much rather he learned a little slower and remained for the most part a happy loving boy. This was a hard lesson for me since I felt we had to do it all now. is a wonderful, sweet, loving, volatile,frustratin g,stubborn, beautiful boy. Of course I wish he was cured or recovered, but I will always love him for the great kid he is despite all the frustration and confusion he experiences everyday. He tries so hard and even when he is doing badly you can see in his eyes that he doesn't want to and it is out of his control. Our kids have so much to offer the world if the world could just accept it. KellieFrom: ljdjd1234 <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 12:57:38 PMSubject: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?You are right -- Our kids can "recover", and many, with lots of therapy, love and time, will not test as Autistic any longer but, this is not a cure, rather it is recovery.. I've seen "recovered" children, and or read about them...they function beautifully, and to the general population their Autism can go unnoticed, but from everything I've read and heard and seen...these kiddos still have deficits in language, in social skills, etc...MUCH better and Praise God for that, but not totally NT.I agree with you and you say it beautifully.. ..I want (my 29 month old) to be the best he can be. If he is not "cured, and or recovered" --- and some will never be no matter how much money we spend --- I want to be loved for who he is...to be embraced for what makes him different and special. He is an awe-inspiring little man...sees the world through eyes, that Isometimes envy (not the panic he feels, etc....that makes my body ache for him), but the fun interesting little quirks he has that must make life fun for him at times...His ability to tune out...I realize this is not the end all end all, and that he must learn to tune in...but my oh my how I'd like to tune out every once in a while. :)I think those who believe in a cure are helping to push the establishment to do better by our kids, this is a good thing, as I see more and more services beginning to be offered (not for us, as we still pay out of pocket in our state for ABA, but I do see it getting beter)...my fear is that with a "cure" being the sole focal point, that we will stop embracing who they are a God's special people...with special needs, no matter how recovered they are... That we will demand more from them then they are able to give...e

[Guest guest]

Hi, ...you've been with me since the beginning I learned a lot about embracing through you.

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 5:14:34 PMSubject: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

eYou have a beautiful heart. I loved reading this. Perfect!>> You are right -- Our kids can "recover", and many, with lots of therapy, love and time, will not test as Autistic any longer but, this is not a cure, rather it is recovery. I've seen "recovered" children, and or read about them...they function beautifully, and to the general population their Autism can go unnoticed, but from everything I've read and heard and seen....these kiddos still have deficits in language, in social skills, etc...MUCH better and Praise God for that, but not totally NT.> > I agree with you and you say it beautifully. ..I want (my 29 month old) to be the best he can be. If he

is not "cured, and or recovered" --- and some will never be no matter how much money we spend --- I want to be loved for who he is...to be embraced for what makes him different and special. He is an awe-inspiring little man...sees the world through eyes, that Isometimes envy (not the panic he feels, etc...that makes my body ache for him), but the fun interesting little quirks he has that must make life fun for him at times...His ability to tune out...I realize this is not the end all end all, and that he must learn to tune in...but my oh my how I'd like to tune out every once in a while. > > I think those who believe in a cure are helping to push the establishment to do better by our kids, this is a good thing, as I see more and more services beginning to be offered (not for us, as we still pay out of pocket in our state for ABA, but I do see it getting beter)...my fear is that with a "cure" being the sole focal point, that we will

stop embracing who they are a God's special people...with special needs, no matter how recovered they are... That we will demand more from them then they are able to give...> > e>

[Guest guest]

Your so sweet..but really its all in your heart..

We just did earth day here..lights out for an hour.

Wow it was so calming. I could use one of them every night.

39 and Mom to threeTasha 22 ooops..new Mommy ( Grammy to Kyri 18/m)Casey-Mae 14..sweet as pieElijah 2 1/2.. ASD and beautiful

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 9:25:43 PMSubject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

Hi, ...you've been with me since the beginning I learned a lot about embracing through you.

e

From: l.largey <l.largeyyahoo (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 5:14:34 PMSubject: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

eYou have a beautiful heart. I loved reading this. Perfect!>> You are right -- Our kids can "recover", and many, with lots of therapy, love and time, will not test as Autistic any longer but, this is not a cure, rather it is recovery. I've seen "recovered" children, and or read about them...they function beautifully, and to the general population their Autism can go unnoticed, but from everything I've read and heard and seen....these kiddos still have deficits in language, in social skills, etc...MUCH better and Praise God for that, but not totally NT.> > I agree with you and you say it beautifully. ..I want (my 29 month old) to be the best he can be. If he

is not "cured, and or recovered" --- and some will never be no matter how much money we spend --- I want to be loved for who he is...to be embraced for what makes him different and special. He is an awe-inspiring little man...sees the world through eyes, that Isometimes envy (not the panic he feels, etc...that makes my body ache for him), but the fun interesting little quirks he has that must make life fun for him at times...His ability to tune out...I realize this is not the end all end all, and that he must learn to tune in...but my oh my how I'd like to tune out every once in a while. > > I think those who believe in a cure are helping to push the establishment to do better by our kids, this is a good thing, as I see more and more services beginning to be offered (not for us, as we still pay out of pocket in our state for ABA, but I do see it getting beter)...my fear is that with a "cure" being the sole focal point, that we will

stop embracing who they are a God's special people...with special needs, no matter how recovered they are... That we will demand more from them then they are able to give...> > e>

[Guest guest]

In the South we don't do earth day.......isn't that sad???? Too busy having bar-b-ques and making beans. LOL......Oh, I love it here...And we do recycle... LOL...we plant trees and flowers and use a little gas as we can...but the lights out mentality I don't think will reach os for a time. LOL, LOL

It is in my heart but it has helped more than you all know to have help....I love the help I get from my friends...I take it all in and use it as I go....I still remember the night/day you told me that Lily would be better for this....and I was watching her struggle so much at that time...wondering if she would ever be able to fully cope with my attention shared with brother, with the noise level, with my new found stress!!!! She has, and beautifully...we tweak a lot, we have lots of dates...she has a VERY safe haven in her room...with a TV and DVD player all her own (something I don't believe in, but when you have two kiddos with needs it helps)......The best part of it, is that she's not a martyr, she knows NO other way, than ...she worships the ground he walks on, and Autism is beginning to have not only name to her now, but a face --- that of her brothers...she's beginning to "get" somethings..........and she is better for it.

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 8:40:53 PMSubject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

Your so sweet...but really its all in your heart..

We just did earth day here...lights out for an hour.

Wow it was so calming. I could use one of them every night.

39 and Mom to threeTasha 22 ooops..new Mommy ( Grammy to Kyri 18/m)Casey-Mae 14..sweet as pieElijah 2 1/2.. ASD and beautiful

From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234yahoo (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 9:25:43 PMSubject: Re: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

Hi, ...you've been with me since the beginning I learned a lot about embracing through you.

e

From: l.largey <l.largeyyahoo (DOT) com>To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Saturday, March 28, 2009 5:14:34 PMSubject: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

eYou have a beautiful heart. I loved reading this. Perfect!>> You are right -- Our kids can "recover", and many, with lots of therapy, love and time, will not test as Autistic any longer but, this is not a cure, rather it is recovery. I've seen "recovered" children, and or read about them...they function beautifully, and to the general population their Autism can go unnoticed, but from everything I've read and heard and seen....these kiddos still have deficits in language, in social skills, etc....MUCH better and Praise God for that, but not totally NT.> > I agree with you and you say it beautifully. ..I want (my 29 month old) to be the best he can be. If he

is not "cured, and or recovered" --- and some will never be no matter how much money we spend --- I want to be loved for who he is...to be embraced for what makes him different and special. He is an awe-inspiring little man...sees the world through eyes, that Isometimes envy (not the panic he feels, etc...that makes my body ache for him), but the fun interesting little quirks he has that must make life fun for him at times...His ability to tune out...I realize this is not the end all end all, and that he must learn to tune in...but my oh my how I'd like to tune out every once in a while. > > I think those who believe in a cure are helping to push the establishment to do better by our kids, this is a good thing, as I see more and more services beginning to be offered (not for us, as we still pay out of pocket in our state for ABA, but I do see it getting beter)...my fear is that with a "cure" being the sole focal point, that we will

stop embracing who they are a God's special people...with special needs, no matter how recovered they are... That we will demand more from them then they are able to give...> > e>

[Guest guest]

I love this Kiara...I love it...she is brilliant obviously... Dickenson had Aspergers (at least that's what some historians think)...She had a lot of pain on the inside that she was able to write about as well......also some uplifting poems. I'm glad that your daughter is so talented, as this will help her. Finding the right outlet for her abilities will be key...keeping her in creative writing classes etc....and yes, keeping her self esteem thriving...It's so hard for some of these kids. I pray that she will grow out of her aggressive tendencies...I know that Oppositional behavior is very hard to work with....

Blessings to you.

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Sunday, March 29, 2009 12:15:43 AMSubject: Re: To embrace autism or not to embrace autism that is the question... or is it?

I'm very new to all of this, but I find I fall into both categories of thinking. On one hand, sure it would be great if there were a "cure", but I'm far more concerned about adaptability, acceptance, and long term independence.I have an awesome daughter! I know I've only mentioned the negative, but she's a brilliant child who started learning phonics as a toddler and taught herself to read at age 3. She's a gifted gymnast (OT!), and a talented artist, as well as a voracious learner. I can recognize her weaknesses as well as celebrate her talents. Today she wrote 3 poems while I napped, and they literally sound like something written by an adult! There are times when we are having such a blast, like yesterday when we went ice skating. Having a twice exceptional child means that I'm always kept on my toes, never a dull moment! It brings a lot of frustration at times, and other times pure joy. Our struggles are mainly surrounding anxiety,

oppositional behavior, and occasionally aggression, and for these I am willing to do whatever I can to help her learn to adapt and cope. My main concerns are that she will become violent (she has been in the past), and wind up in legal trouble, or that she will be too anxious to function independently as an adult. I also want to protect her self esteem. I have very practical goals, realizing that one is never actually "cured" of Aspergers, but that it can be overcome and truly an asset to one's life. As mentioned, this world would be missing a lot of engineers, mathemeticians and computer techs without people with Aspergers. While math and science are not my daughter's strong points, I can picture her being a celebrated writer and artist and truly a blessing to others through her use of the English language.On another note, my mother has rheumatoid arthritis, and has had it since she was 10 years old. She was hospitalized off and on for

many years, and the hope for decades was that she'd be "cured". She lost the ability to walk, and even straighten her legs a couple years ago and is now bedridden and wheelchair-bound and depends fully on us for her care. When people meet her, however, they don't see just her disability. She is a firecracker, smart and determined, and truly a GIFT. There are those who are seeking a cure for juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, and rightfully so, but there are thousands of others like my mom who live with it day in and day out who cannot make that the focal point of their lives. Instead, she has to make the most of the life God has blessed her with, and find fullness in it.. This is my dream for my daughter, and I suspect most parents' dream for their children, autistic or not - to find fullness in their lives.Kiara>> Right now there are two groups advocating for autistics, one is committed to doing all they can to find a cure the other is fighting for neurodiversity. Those fighting for neurodiversity don't see autism as tragic, but as another way of being and think that those focused on a cure are rabid "curebies" who don't appreciate autistic people. Those focused on finding a cure feel the other group is crazy and counter productive.> > So what do we do? Embrace people with autism as they are, or do all we can to find a cure and provide as much intervention as possible? I don't have the answers but I can say I've been walking down this road for over 10 years now. As I grow in my understanding of myself, my child and my autistic friends my perspective has changed a little.> >

First off let me say I have done everything I could to help my son. We've tried many approaches some worked and some were a waste of time, money and energy. My son is doing incredibly well, he no longer exhibits self injurious behavior, he is verbal, high functioning, and probably would be considered to have Aspergers at this point. I continue to work with him on social skills, I continue to work with him on self help skills. Possibly one day he may be able to live on his own we don't know yet. As my son and my friends kids have gotten older I have seen some kids respond amazingly well to interventions and some didn't. My son is going to be fully mainstreamed into high school next year. My dear friend's son just went into a group home for the safety of herself and her son. Another friend's son is a little quirky but wouldn't be considered on the spectrum.> > The therapies that my friends and I fought for and lost our homes, marriages and

sanity for are now considered routine, safe and effective. There is now irrefutable evidence that shows kids on the spectrum can learn if given the right tools and mode of instruction. (G did not turn into a robot after participating in ABA...) Are all kids getting all of the services they need at this point, no. Does more need to be done, absolutely. Do we need to research why the incidences of autism are increasing, I personally believe yes we do.> > However, there is another side to this. I want to remind everyone, despite the claims being made by a variety of people, at this point there is no cure for autism. My son is not neurotypical and most likely never will be. My focus has begun to change. I'm not looking for a cure, I'm looking for understanding. I love my son, I love his personality. He is a visual thinker who has a fascination with flight, air flow, and wing design.. he is 13. (BTW Math is his favorite subject.) I have a

feeling he's going to make an incredible contribution to society some day. I love the person he is becoming. He's going to need extra help in life, but my desire, my passionate desire is that people will embrace him as he is..> > I also want him to feel proud of himself, of who he is. He doesn't need pity, he needs understanding, and some accommodations. At this point do I want him cured? No way, as my friend Temple Grandin once stated, "why would we want to cure all of the autistics? We would lose all of our scientists, engineers and computer nerds."> > My bottom line is this. Yes let's keep looking for a cause, and fighting for appropriate interventions. At the same time as our kids get older let's celebrate who they are becoming, be proud of them as they are, celebrate their neurodiversity, and continue to support them in any way possible. I also say lets support the autistic adults who are now speaking for themselves. They

are people, who deserve to be listened to. Their perspective is important and if we let our defenses down we may be able to learn from them.>