Guest guest Posted April 26, 2001 Report Share Posted April 26, 2001 It's been a long time since I have had little ones, and luckily didn't have much problem with tantrums. However, my sister in law is having a few problems, and when we watched 48 hours the other night, they had a special on children and their behavior. In particular, it was about sleep apnea. These children were snoring at night, and due to their tonsils and adenoids being swollen (most certainly from allergy), they were experiencing sleep apnea unbeknownstd to anyone. During the day they were increasingly hyperactive, throwing fits, etc, because even though they were " in bed " , they are not getting into a deep enough sleep and they're exhausted. A man I worked with experienced this, too. They took their son to the sleep disorders clinic to check for this, and he quit breathing about 25 times in one night. It caused hit heart rate to go down to 30 3 different times. They had tonsils and adenoids removed and he is a different child. I by no means am indicating this is what every tantrum is about, but the 48 hours show had several parents who had their kids on Ritalin and such, and they were able to take them off the medicine after having the tonsils removed. It would certainly be worth talking to a pediatrician or ENT about. Hope it helps. , mom to Matt, 13, IgG & IgA deficient, subclass 1 and 2 deficient, asthma, IBS, chronic otitis and sinusitis, allergies, ADD >From: bunneegirl@... >Reply-To: PedPID >To: PedPID >Subject: Re: Barbie >Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2001 10:13:29 EDT > ><< I knew he did not feel well and I could see the justification for his >acting out but I did not know how to lead him through his misery >> > >Barbie, wow, YOU READ MY MIND! > >Thank you so much for taking the time to express those feelings, as I know >I'm not alone. I feel this tremendous (self-inflicted) pressure and guilt >to > " do everything right " to try to make up for the unfairness in 's life. >I'm a perfectionist at heart and that's something I've worked on over the >past few years, but I need to make sure those ridiculous expectations don't >cripple my efforts at plain ole good parenting. > >I'm so grateful to all of you for your advice! > >We came to a compromise on the tantrums, as my husband was totally against >closing the door on . This is a compilation of advice in parenting >books >and from other parents: If she's screaming, she has to go in her room until >she calms down. Door is open but parents are not in there, we are >pretending >to not hear it (yeah right!). I tell her, " If you are screaming it hurts my >ears and I can't listen. I'll talk to you when you calm down " . Then when >she >is calm, even a bit, I make sure to get to her and reinforce that. If she >calms down really fast I congratulate her, " you did a really good job >calming >yourself down " . No bribes of course, just Mommy's attention again when >there's no screaming and thrashing. I ask her if she wants " up " , meaning >picked up, and that way we can hug without her having to " give in " , and we >both feel better. > >I had to do this in the car the other day, pretend not to hear it when she >was blasting my eardrums in that enclosed space. But it felt so good to >have >a firm plan, so it was easy. I didn't flinch, turn around or anything >(after >I told her what I was doing) until she stopped screaming. It really seemed >to >work! I sort of got a sense of wonderment like " boy, that screaming sure >didn't work " from her. I was wishing for earplugs though!! > >Sorry so long... thought our plan might come in handy for someone else. > >Oh, here's more -- I wonder about allergies with because she has >those >undereye dark circles. But no congestion, runny nose, tearing eyes or >anything EVER. So how could she be having allergies? But if not, then what >are the dark circles? > >Also, she's not on any meds whatsoever, so unfortunately I can't try any >changes there. It's just a Frustrated Genius trapped inside a two-year >old's >body! :0) > > (mom to , age 2, antibody def, IgA def, partial T-cell def (CD3 > & >CD19) - not on IGIV yet) _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 26, 2001 Report Share Posted April 26, 2001 It's been a long time since I have had little ones, and luckily didn't have much problem with tantrums. However, my sister in law is having a few problems, and when we watched 48 hours the other night, they had a special on children and their behavior. In particular, it was about sleep apnea. These children were snoring at night, and due to their tonsils and adenoids being swollen (most certainly from allergy), they were experiencing sleep apnea unbeknownstd to anyone. During the day they were increasingly hyperactive, throwing fits, etc, because even though they were " in bed " , they are not getting into a deep enough sleep and they're exhausted. A man I worked with experienced this, too. They took their son to the sleep disorders clinic to check for this, and he quit breathing about 25 times in one night. It caused hit heart rate to go down to 30 3 different times. They had tonsils and adenoids removed and he is a different child. I by no means am indicating this is what every tantrum is about, but the 48 hours show had several parents who had their kids on Ritalin and such, and they were able to take them off the medicine after having the tonsils removed. It would certainly be worth talking to a pediatrician or ENT about. Hope it helps. , mom to Matt, 13, IgG & IgA deficient, subclass 1 and 2 deficient, asthma, IBS, chronic otitis and sinusitis, allergies, ADD >From: bunneegirl@... >Reply-To: PedPID >To: PedPID >Subject: Re: Barbie >Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2001 10:13:29 EDT > ><< I knew he did not feel well and I could see the justification for his >acting out but I did not know how to lead him through his misery >> > >Barbie, wow, YOU READ MY MIND! > >Thank you so much for taking the time to express those feelings, as I know >I'm not alone. I feel this tremendous (self-inflicted) pressure and guilt >to > " do everything right " to try to make up for the unfairness in 's life. >I'm a perfectionist at heart and that's something I've worked on over the >past few years, but I need to make sure those ridiculous expectations don't >cripple my efforts at plain ole good parenting. > >I'm so grateful to all of you for your advice! > >We came to a compromise on the tantrums, as my husband was totally against >closing the door on . This is a compilation of advice in parenting >books >and from other parents: If she's screaming, she has to go in her room until >she calms down. Door is open but parents are not in there, we are >pretending >to not hear it (yeah right!). I tell her, " If you are screaming it hurts my >ears and I can't listen. I'll talk to you when you calm down " . Then when >she >is calm, even a bit, I make sure to get to her and reinforce that. If she >calms down really fast I congratulate her, " you did a really good job >calming >yourself down " . No bribes of course, just Mommy's attention again when >there's no screaming and thrashing. I ask her if she wants " up " , meaning >picked up, and that way we can hug without her having to " give in " , and we >both feel better. > >I had to do this in the car the other day, pretend not to hear it when she >was blasting my eardrums in that enclosed space. But it felt so good to >have >a firm plan, so it was easy. I didn't flinch, turn around or anything >(after >I told her what I was doing) until she stopped screaming. It really seemed >to >work! I sort of got a sense of wonderment like " boy, that screaming sure >didn't work " from her. I was wishing for earplugs though!! > >Sorry so long... thought our plan might come in handy for someone else. > >Oh, here's more -- I wonder about allergies with because she has >those >undereye dark circles. But no congestion, runny nose, tearing eyes or >anything EVER. So how could she be having allergies? But if not, then what >are the dark circles? > >Also, she's not on any meds whatsoever, so unfortunately I can't try any >changes there. It's just a Frustrated Genius trapped inside a two-year >old's >body! :0) > > (mom to , age 2, antibody def, IgA def, partial T-cell def (CD3 > & >CD19) - not on IGIV yet) _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2002 Report Share Posted June 21, 2002 Actually - I quite like the horrified stares of those " typpies " - (those without Autism in their lives) - as they watch my son throw the glass jar of jelly out of my shopping basket into the middle of the aisle. Seriously - I have learned to compromise with my son - I realize that he can handle only so much outside stimulation. When we go places - I make sure I have HIS stroller that he feels comfortable with - no matter how awkward it is to lug it around. I only stay as long as he can handle it. Unfortunately - when it's time to go for them - it's time to go. Many a time I have left a full grocery cart at the checkout lines because my son simply could not tolerate any more stimulation. It does get better - we can now handle 3-4 errands going in and out of places/stores - at a time before a meltdown..... Mcs french fries during errands really helps the most! We can go anywhere as long as we have Mc's french fries. Not surprisingly - most " typical " day cares just are not equipped to handle our kiddo's. The staff gets paid probably little more than minimum wage - and the turnover probably does not justify the added expense of training staff to work with special needs children. That point really amazes me - in wondering just what mom's of special needs children do with their children when they work? That's the reason I don't work outside the home - who would watch my child? In the book - " The Biology of the Autistic Syndromes " - the author states that some metabolic and dietary insufficiencies can cause outbursts and tantrums - and that with supplements - that behavior goes away. The books - " Special Diets for Special Kids - I and II " - also state that with dietary/supplement changes and additions - those behaviors can go away or greatly improve. Secretin and Digestive Enzymes have helped the tantrum and outburst problem as well..... At home - when my son has had enough and just started screaming and being a royal pain in the bottom - we would calmly escort him to his room and close the door and stand there on the outside so he could not open the door and come back out. As soon as he would stop the screaming and tantruming - we would open the door and praise him and play with him and bring him back downstairs....... eventually - when he felt he had enough - he would go up to his room on his own and lay on his bed - then come back out when he was ready..... Tantrums Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2002 Report Share Posted June 21, 2002 , With my son he used to be able to go everywhere. We took him to eat a lot. Now though w/ the 100% CF and about 60% GF diet (to this point) that is going to be tough. My wife and I both work, we really have no choice. I make more money but her work provides insurance. I don't really care about taking him out in public as much as I do just trying to learn the right way to discipline him when he has these outbursts. I cant tell what typical 2 year old behavior and what's the PDD behavior. Same w/ playing w/ toys etc. If you know of any places to start researching for discipline and controlling tantrums please let me know. Thanks, Corbins Dad. Todd Guppy wrote: > > Actually - I quite like the horrified stares of those " typpies " - > (those > without Autism in their lives) - as they watch my son throw the glass > jar of > jelly out of my shopping basket into the middle of the aisle. > > Seriously - I have learned to compromise with my son - I realize that > he can > handle only so much outside stimulation. When we go places - I make > sure I > have HIS stroller that he feels comfortable with - no matter how > awkward it > is to lug it around. I only stay as long as he can handle it. > Unfortunately - when it's time to go for them - it's time to go. Many > a > time I have left a full grocery cart at the checkout lines because my > son > simply could not tolerate any more stimulation. > > It does get better - we can now handle 3-4 errands going in and out of > places/stores - at a time before a meltdown..... > > Mcs french fries during errands really helps the most! We can > go > anywhere as long as we have Mc's french fries. > > Not surprisingly - most " typical " day cares just are not equipped to > handle > our kiddo's. The staff gets paid probably little more than minimum > wage - > and the turnover probably does not justify the added expense of > training > staff to work with special needs children. > > That point really amazes me - in wondering just what mom's of special > needs > children do with their children when they work? That's the reason I > don't > work outside the home - who would watch my child? > > In the book - " The Biology of the Autistic Syndromes " - the author > states > that some metabolic and dietary insufficiencies can cause outbursts > and > tantrums - and that with supplements - that behavior goes away. > > The books - " Special Diets for Special Kids - I and II " - also state > that > with dietary/supplement changes and additions - those behaviors can go > away > or greatly improve. > > Secretin and Digestive Enzymes have helped the tantrum and outburst > problem > as well..... > > At home - when my son has had enough and just started screaming and > being a > royal pain in the bottom - we would calmly escort him to his room and > close > the door and stand there on the outside so he could not open the door > and > come back out. As soon as he would stop the screaming and tantruming > - we > would open the door and praise him and play with him and bring him > back > downstairs....... eventually - when he felt he had enough - he would > go up > to his room on his own and lay on his bed - then come back out when he > was > ready..... > > > > Tantrums > > TEXAS-AUTISM-ADVOCACY WEBSITE: > http://www.angelfire.com/tx5/autismlist > > FEAT News Information: > http://www.feat.org/scripts/wa.exe > http://www.feat.org > " Healing Autism: No Finer a Cause on the Planet " > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2002 Report Share Posted June 22, 2002 My son was the king of tantrums. I found these were the reasons: It was his only way to communicate since he had no words. It gave him the attention he wanted (I was not ignoring these outbursts but either reprimanding him or running over to try and get him to stop) It got him out of whatever he didn't want to do like, staying at the store, having him wash his hands, pick up toys, self-help skills, etc.. The advice we received from our high priced consultant was: Ignore the behaviors you want to extinguish (unless it risked someone's life- this included my son's self-injurious behavior-very hard to do and scary). If they are screaming because they want to leave the store, make small " therapy runs " to the store to pick up one thing and ignore the screaming through the whole store, go through the check out, and when they finally stop screaming or whatever they are doing, praise them for that behavior with your attention and things they like. Immediately praise/reinforce the behaviors you want to encourage. Teach the replacement behavior (this has really helped us). For example, if your child will go up to children and push them, find out why they might be doing this (observe and trial and error). If you find that it is because they are trying to get their attention, stop your child right before they push another child down, take your child's hand and use it to tap the child on the shoulder. Then prompt the other child to turn and say " What do you want ...? " with a smile. You are teaching your child to tap someone on their arm/shoulder to get their attention instead of pushing them down. We also use the picking up of beans to extinguish tantrums and inappropriate behavior (talked about it in my last post about time- out). This can extinguish pretty much anything we have tried. Hope this gives you another experience to consider. Theresa, SA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2009 Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 My son is three years old and non-verbal. He is an only child but attends a home daycare and in special needs pre-k part time. My concern is that he is non-verbal and throws tantrums when he does not get his way. He embarasses me out in public so we stay home most of the time and he is so loud with his the noise he makes that my neighbors tend to complain. I love my son dearly and I want the best for him but I need for him to get it together. We both need to get it together but I really don't know where to start. He is also overly active, from sun up to sun down. Can anyone offer suggestions? Everyone that I spoke with in the past said just ignore him when he tantrums but after awhile that is difficult. Also he will speak out spontaneously but not often. HisMom04 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 Hi, I know I am lucky in that I have never had a major problem with this in my autistic child. However, a couple of my typical kids have probided quite a challenge for me! My son's therapist just gave me a handout this week called " The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly " . It is sort of a behavior modification-lite. Here's the rundown: For good behavior-reinforce with commenting, hugs, etc. Remember to reinforce socially connecting behaviors (like asking us to play, good eye contact...). Bad behavior: simply put, this is breaking the rules. Here's what I think is the hard part. We need to decide clearly what the rules are. We cannot fight every battle with our kids, so decide what is important. One of our rules is: no bad words (like " shut up " or " stupid " )also, no throwing. Decide on the meaningful consequence, ie: it has to be something the child dislikes. Time out is a good one. BE VERY CONSISTENT. When you first begin to enforce the rules, be prepared to see an escalation of rule-breaking behavior. You are being tested. Be consistent and the rules will be accepted eventually. The Ugly: This is, in essence, trying to get what you want, (attention, a cookie or even getting " out " of an undesirable activity) by acting up. Tantrums are an example of " The Ugly " . The most important message to send is that tantrums, crying, whining, hitting etc. NEVER get you what you want. So the behavior must be ignored. BUT, we must address the emotion behind the behavior. Try to redirect your child whenever possible. Also, acknowledge the child's feelings. " ny's mad. ny wants ice cream " . If he continues the behavior (of course he will!), ignore it. There is no consequence in this process. Of course, many children, in frustration will break a rule during this behavior. For example, " ny " might hit you or throw something. If that is one of your rules, enforce the consequence. Of course, this is all easier than said. I hope I haven't violated any copyright laws by reinstating the information here! You might be able to find the detailed lesson at www.playproject.org. Good luck! Deanna > > My son is three years old and non-verbal. He is an only child but > attends a home daycare and in special needs pre-k part time. My > concern is that he is non-verbal and throws tantrums when he does not > get his way. He embarasses me out in public so we stay home most of > the time and he is so loud with his the noise he makes that my > neighbors tend to complain. I love my son dearly and I want the best > for him but I need for him to get it together. We both need to get it > together but I really don't know where to start. He is also overly > active, from sun up to sun down. Can anyone offer suggestions? > Everyone that I spoke with in the past said just ignore him when he > tantrums but after awhile that is difficult. > > Also he will speak out spontaneously but not often. > > HisMom04 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 I like this Deanna....LOTS. e To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, February 28, 2009 2:04:23 PMSubject: Re: Tantrums Recent Activity 17 New MembersVisit Your Group Biz Resources Y! Small Business Articles, tools, forms, and more. All-Bran 10 Day Challenge Join the club and feel the benefits. Support Group Lose lbs together Share your weight- loss successes. .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 I've got two suggestions. When my son was three (now 10) he was the same as your son. In regards to being overly active, finding an OT with good sensory integration experience was a big help. His OT also tried listening theapy. We used Samonas and Grape Jam modulated music. Using it regularly had a very calming effect on him and he was able to concentrate better. After a point he " plateaued " and we no longer used it. The other suggestion is to get the book Making Visual Supports Work in the Home and Community by L Savner and Myles. http://www.asperger.net/bookstore_9906a.htm It's a thin little book packed with lots of information and visual examples. Once I began making visuals at home of my son's favorite things, I could then communicate with him and ask him what he wanted to do. I made a first this, then that board to help him identify what would happen next in the day. And if I went on errands I used a little index card with four velcro tabs. I would show him where we were going and the last one was always home so he would know there was an end to the errands. Once I gave him some control over his surroundings via the visuals these types of tantrums lessened considerably. You can also go to One Place for Special Needs. Do a search for " visual support " in their resource section for a lot of good web links. http://www.oneplaceforspecialneeds.com/resources/resource_search.html > > My son is three years old and non-verbal. He is an only child but > attends a home daycare and in special needs pre-k part time. My > concern is that he is non-verbal and throws tantrums when he does not > get his way. He embarasses me out in public so we stay home most of > the time and he is so loud with his the noise he makes that my > neighbors tend to complain. I love my son dearly and I want the best > for him but I need for him to get it together. We both need to get it > together but I really don't know where to start. He is also overly > active, from sun up to sun down. Can anyone offer suggestions? > Everyone that I spoke with in the past said just ignore him when he > tantrums but after awhile that is difficult. > > Also he will speak out spontaneously but not often. > > HisMom04 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 This is a God-send. Thanks so much for this information.. I will put this one in my save folder for sure... e To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, February 28, 2009 7:50:24 PMSubject: Re: Tantrums Recent Activity 12 New MembersVisit Your Group Biz Resources Y! Small Business Articles, tools, forms, and more. McEnroe on Yahoo! Groups Join him for the 10 Day Challenge. Get in Shape on Yahoo! Groups Find a buddy and lose weight. .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 Using visuals is a good suggestion. If your son is nonverbal then tantrums at that age is very common. Since he cannot communicate his needs and wants, he learns that tantrums can work well to control his environment. I am a psychologist who works with children on the spectrum. We use visual strategies (picture schedules) a lot. The world is very chaotic, confusing, and overwhelming for children on the spectrum. Building in structure and routine is so important to reducing the uncertainty and providing predictability to the child's world. Using picture schedules can help reduce this confusion, as well as introducing a means of communication for the child. I will try and put it in the " files " section of this board. Bill I have a short power point presentation about making and using visual strategies. > > > > My son is three years old and non-verbal. He is an only child but > > attends a home daycare and in special needs pre-k part time. My > > concern is that he is non-verbal and throws tantrums when he does not > > get his way. He embarasses me out in public so we stay home most of > > the time and he is so loud with his the noise he makes that my > > neighbors tend to complain. I love my son dearly and I want the best > > for him but I need for him to get it together. We both need to get it > > together but I really don't know where to start. He is also overly > > active, from sun up to sun down. Can anyone offer suggestions? > > Everyone that I spoke with in the past said just ignore him when he > > tantrums but after awhile that is difficult. > > > > Also he will speak out spontaneously but not often. > > > > HisMom04 > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 Oh, apparently the files section doesn't let anyone download files to it. If you want to email me. I will attach it to the message and send it back. Bill > > > > > > My son is three years old and non-verbal. He is an only child but > > > attends a home daycare and in special needs pre-k part time. My > > > concern is that he is non-verbal and throws tantrums when he does not > > > get his way. He embarasses me out in public so we stay home most of > > > the time and he is so loud with his the noise he makes that my > > > neighbors tend to complain. I love my son dearly and I want the best > > > for him but I need for him to get it together. We both need to get it > > > together but I really don't know where to start. He is also overly > > > active, from sun up to sun down. Can anyone offer suggestions? > > > Everyone that I spoke with in the past said just ignore him when he > > > tantrums but after awhile that is difficult. > > > > > > Also he will speak out spontaneously but not often. > > > > > > HisMom04 > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 e, me too...BUT for me it is so much easier said than done! I " give in " way more than I should and don't do time outs with 100% consistency. That's just with my typical kids! Sometimes you have to eventually get to school, work, appointment...! Ha Ha! Hope you and family are well! Deanna > > I like this Deanna....LOTS. > > e > > > > > ________________________________ > > To: AutismBehaviorProblems > Sent: Saturday, February 28, 2009 2:04:23 PM > Subject: Re: Tantrums > > > Recent Activity > * 17 > New MembersVisit Your Group > Biz Resources > Y! Small Business > Articles, tools, > forms, and more. > All-Bran > 10 Day Challenge > Join the club and > feel the benefits. > Support Group > Lose lbs together > Share your weight- > loss successes. > . > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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