Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Holly wrote: << My mom likes to pick out clothes for me, but I usually don't like them. She picks out things that would look good on her. She is then insulted if I don't like something. >> Ain't that the truth. Of course, since my mother thinks I'm an extension of her, then it makes sense that she thinks I would like everything she likes. Well, I don't. In fact, we have the exact opposite taste. No matter how many times I explain what I like, or the fact that she's *never* seen me wear the color blue, it just doesn't change. Like you, I just accept the gift, and then never wear it. I've even managed to give some gifts back to her several years later! She never figured it out, and just LOVED them! Interestingly, this came up with my mil a few years back. She bought me a beautiful, hand-woven, all-wool blue sweater when she was in New Zealand. It is a beautiful sweater, but I really don't look good in blue. SHE does, and wears it constantly, so I think there was a little of that 'buying what she likes' thing. Anyway, a while later I was grousing about my mom to her, and how she always buys me stuff I don't like, and how I only like earth colors. My mil (who I must say is much more astute than MY mother) immediately said, " So you must not have liked that sweater I bought you. " Of course, I assured her that I *do* like the sweater (it is, in fact, the only blue thing that I'll wear, although I would have liked it better in olive!), but I did confirm that I prefer earth colors. And she has honored that ever since! It's really weird to be listened to! << If it is a day when I don't see anything I like, she gets totally mad and says " you won't let me buy you anything. " like a 2-year old. >> Yup. Thankfully we don't shop together often, but when we do it's very similar to your experience. She'll point out something that she really likes, and ask me if I like it. I'll say no, and then I get the attack: " You are SO picky " , " You don't like ANYTHING " , " All you ever wear is black " (not true, BTW), and so on. It's unfathomable to her that I could like something OTHER than what she likes. She also takes my rejection of her choice as a rejection of HER, so she has to attack me to feel better about herself (e.g., if she can prove that I'm bad and defective, then that means she must be okay). In that black and white world, it's just not possible for two people to like different things. Anon --- Holly Chermack wrote: > > --- Carol M wrote: > > You > > see........... mother wore my clothes when I was in > > high school, so we always shopped together, and I > > always deferred to her judgment about what looked > > good > > on me. > > My mom likes to pick out clothes for me, but I usually > don't like them. She picks out things that would look > good on her. She is then insulted if I don't like > something. If it is a gift, I just say I like it and > then don't ever wear it. If we are shopping together, > I hate for her to spend the money on something I don't > like. If I speak up, she gets mad and desparately > searches through the store for something for me. If > it is a day when I don't see anything I like, she gets > totally mad and says " you won't let me buy you > anything. " like a 2-year old. She thinks you have to > buy people stuff to get them to like you. > > Regarding going to college that you mentioned, I got a > two-year secretarial certificate. My mom to this day > still says she wishes I had 'finished' college. She > means a four-year degree. I say I AM finished. She > always wanted me to be a teacher. It never occurs to > her that I didn't want to be a teacher. This type of > things annoys me. No matter how many times you > explain something to them, they NEVER understand it. > > Holly > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Holly wrote: << My mom likes to pick out clothes for me, but I usually don't like them. She picks out things that would look good on her. She is then insulted if I don't like something. >> Ain't that the truth. Of course, since my mother thinks I'm an extension of her, then it makes sense that she thinks I would like everything she likes. Well, I don't. In fact, we have the exact opposite taste. No matter how many times I explain what I like, or the fact that she's *never* seen me wear the color blue, it just doesn't change. Like you, I just accept the gift, and then never wear it. I've even managed to give some gifts back to her several years later! She never figured it out, and just LOVED them! Interestingly, this came up with my mil a few years back. She bought me a beautiful, hand-woven, all-wool blue sweater when she was in New Zealand. It is a beautiful sweater, but I really don't look good in blue. SHE does, and wears it constantly, so I think there was a little of that 'buying what she likes' thing. Anyway, a while later I was grousing about my mom to her, and how she always buys me stuff I don't like, and how I only like earth colors. My mil (who I must say is much more astute than MY mother) immediately said, " So you must not have liked that sweater I bought you. " Of course, I assured her that I *do* like the sweater (it is, in fact, the only blue thing that I'll wear, although I would have liked it better in olive!), but I did confirm that I prefer earth colors. And she has honored that ever since! It's really weird to be listened to! << If it is a day when I don't see anything I like, she gets totally mad and says " you won't let me buy you anything. " like a 2-year old. >> Yup. Thankfully we don't shop together often, but when we do it's very similar to your experience. She'll point out something that she really likes, and ask me if I like it. I'll say no, and then I get the attack: " You are SO picky " , " You don't like ANYTHING " , " All you ever wear is black " (not true, BTW), and so on. It's unfathomable to her that I could like something OTHER than what she likes. She also takes my rejection of her choice as a rejection of HER, so she has to attack me to feel better about herself (e.g., if she can prove that I'm bad and defective, then that means she must be okay). In that black and white world, it's just not possible for two people to like different things. Anon --- Holly Chermack wrote: > > --- Carol M wrote: > > You > > see........... mother wore my clothes when I was in > > high school, so we always shopped together, and I > > always deferred to her judgment about what looked > > good > > on me. > > My mom likes to pick out clothes for me, but I usually > don't like them. She picks out things that would look > good on her. She is then insulted if I don't like > something. If it is a gift, I just say I like it and > then don't ever wear it. If we are shopping together, > I hate for her to spend the money on something I don't > like. If I speak up, she gets mad and desparately > searches through the store for something for me. If > it is a day when I don't see anything I like, she gets > totally mad and says " you won't let me buy you > anything. " like a 2-year old. She thinks you have to > buy people stuff to get them to like you. > > Regarding going to college that you mentioned, I got a > two-year secretarial certificate. My mom to this day > still says she wishes I had 'finished' college. She > means a four-year degree. I say I AM finished. She > always wanted me to be a teacher. It never occurs to > her that I didn't want to be a teacher. This type of > things annoys me. No matter how many times you > explain something to them, they NEVER understand it. > > Holly > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Holly wrote: << My mom likes to pick out clothes for me, but I usually don't like them. She picks out things that would look good on her. She is then insulted if I don't like something. >> Ain't that the truth. Of course, since my mother thinks I'm an extension of her, then it makes sense that she thinks I would like everything she likes. Well, I don't. In fact, we have the exact opposite taste. No matter how many times I explain what I like, or the fact that she's *never* seen me wear the color blue, it just doesn't change. Like you, I just accept the gift, and then never wear it. I've even managed to give some gifts back to her several years later! She never figured it out, and just LOVED them! Interestingly, this came up with my mil a few years back. She bought me a beautiful, hand-woven, all-wool blue sweater when she was in New Zealand. It is a beautiful sweater, but I really don't look good in blue. SHE does, and wears it constantly, so I think there was a little of that 'buying what she likes' thing. Anyway, a while later I was grousing about my mom to her, and how she always buys me stuff I don't like, and how I only like earth colors. My mil (who I must say is much more astute than MY mother) immediately said, " So you must not have liked that sweater I bought you. " Of course, I assured her that I *do* like the sweater (it is, in fact, the only blue thing that I'll wear, although I would have liked it better in olive!), but I did confirm that I prefer earth colors. And she has honored that ever since! It's really weird to be listened to! << If it is a day when I don't see anything I like, she gets totally mad and says " you won't let me buy you anything. " like a 2-year old. >> Yup. Thankfully we don't shop together often, but when we do it's very similar to your experience. She'll point out something that she really likes, and ask me if I like it. I'll say no, and then I get the attack: " You are SO picky " , " You don't like ANYTHING " , " All you ever wear is black " (not true, BTW), and so on. It's unfathomable to her that I could like something OTHER than what she likes. She also takes my rejection of her choice as a rejection of HER, so she has to attack me to feel better about herself (e.g., if she can prove that I'm bad and defective, then that means she must be okay). In that black and white world, it's just not possible for two people to like different things. Anon --- Holly Chermack wrote: > > --- Carol M wrote: > > You > > see........... mother wore my clothes when I was in > > high school, so we always shopped together, and I > > always deferred to her judgment about what looked > > good > > on me. > > My mom likes to pick out clothes for me, but I usually > don't like them. She picks out things that would look > good on her. She is then insulted if I don't like > something. If it is a gift, I just say I like it and > then don't ever wear it. If we are shopping together, > I hate for her to spend the money on something I don't > like. If I speak up, she gets mad and desparately > searches through the store for something for me. If > it is a day when I don't see anything I like, she gets > totally mad and says " you won't let me buy you > anything. " like a 2-year old. She thinks you have to > buy people stuff to get them to like you. > > Regarding going to college that you mentioned, I got a > two-year secretarial certificate. My mom to this day > still says she wishes I had 'finished' college. She > means a four-year degree. I say I AM finished. She > always wanted me to be a teacher. It never occurs to > her that I didn't want to be a teacher. This type of > things annoys me. No matter how many times you > explain something to them, they NEVER understand it. > > Holly > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 makes me think about something. Nada has never given me a gift certificate. I have lots and lots of heavily beaded sweaters for Christmas and my birthday. She will drop $$ on gifts, and get the gifts wrong time after time. She does not like gift certs bec. that means lack of control.. kathleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 makes me think about something. Nada has never given me a gift certificate. I have lots and lots of heavily beaded sweaters for Christmas and my birthday. She will drop $$ on gifts, and get the gifts wrong time after time. She does not like gift certs bec. that means lack of control.. kathleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 makes me think about something. Nada has never given me a gift certificate. I have lots and lots of heavily beaded sweaters for Christmas and my birthday. She will drop $$ on gifts, and get the gifts wrong time after time. She does not like gift certs bec. that means lack of control.. kathleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 --- thanksforthisday wrote: > She will drop $$ on gifts, and get the gifts wrong > time after time. > She does not like gift certs bec. that means lack of > control.. I can definitely relate to this! When my parents want me to 'pick out' a gift that they want to give me, it makes me so tense. They once wanted to go to Service Merchandise and have me pick out a watch -- no other store, no other item. The mall we went to didn't have one so we went back home to look through the catalog. They said 'pick any one you want,' but I could see them cringe if I looked at anything over $100. I had to judge their faces and finally pick something cheap enough for them. They have lots of money but like bargains and don't like to spend a lot on one item. One time they wanted to give me and my ex the money for a tv. However, they picked out the tv they wanted to get for us and the store we were supposed to get for it. My ex wanted to put $100 with it to get a larger one. My parents totally didn't like that because it wasn't exactly what they picked out. It can get so tedious. Holly __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 --- thanksforthisday wrote: > She will drop $$ on gifts, and get the gifts wrong > time after time. > She does not like gift certs bec. that means lack of > control.. I can definitely relate to this! When my parents want me to 'pick out' a gift that they want to give me, it makes me so tense. They once wanted to go to Service Merchandise and have me pick out a watch -- no other store, no other item. The mall we went to didn't have one so we went back home to look through the catalog. They said 'pick any one you want,' but I could see them cringe if I looked at anything over $100. I had to judge their faces and finally pick something cheap enough for them. They have lots of money but like bargains and don't like to spend a lot on one item. One time they wanted to give me and my ex the money for a tv. However, they picked out the tv they wanted to get for us and the store we were supposed to get for it. My ex wanted to put $100 with it to get a larger one. My parents totally didn't like that because it wasn't exactly what they picked out. It can get so tedious. Holly __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Oh yes - nothing was ever in my taste. It was always her tastes that were reflected in the gifts given to me. I have a beaded Christmas sweater as well... it's just not me though. I always felt unappreciative if I stated I didn't care for something she bought for me. So I smiled and said fake thank you's year after year. Never got anything that said it was me... although she'd be the first one to tell you that she did this for *me.* On another note, I think she gave gifts which reflect her own tastes b/c by me wearing it, it validates that her choices are okay... Cyndie --- thanksforthisday wrote: > makes me think about something. Nada has never given > me a > gift certificate. I have lots and lots of heavily > beaded sweaters for > Christmas and my birthday. > > She will drop $$ on gifts, and get the gifts wrong > time after time. > She does not like gift certs bec. that means lack of > control.. > > > kathleen > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Oh yes - nothing was ever in my taste. It was always her tastes that were reflected in the gifts given to me. I have a beaded Christmas sweater as well... it's just not me though. I always felt unappreciative if I stated I didn't care for something she bought for me. So I smiled and said fake thank you's year after year. Never got anything that said it was me... although she'd be the first one to tell you that she did this for *me.* On another note, I think she gave gifts which reflect her own tastes b/c by me wearing it, it validates that her choices are okay... Cyndie --- thanksforthisday wrote: > makes me think about something. Nada has never given > me a > gift certificate. I have lots and lots of heavily > beaded sweaters for > Christmas and my birthday. > > She will drop $$ on gifts, and get the gifts wrong > time after time. > She does not like gift certs bec. that means lack of > control.. > > > kathleen > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Oh yes - nothing was ever in my taste. It was always her tastes that were reflected in the gifts given to me. I have a beaded Christmas sweater as well... it's just not me though. I always felt unappreciative if I stated I didn't care for something she bought for me. So I smiled and said fake thank you's year after year. Never got anything that said it was me... although she'd be the first one to tell you that she did this for *me.* On another note, I think she gave gifts which reflect her own tastes b/c by me wearing it, it validates that her choices are okay... Cyndie --- thanksforthisday wrote: > makes me think about something. Nada has never given > me a > gift certificate. I have lots and lots of heavily > beaded sweaters for > Christmas and my birthday. > > She will drop $$ on gifts, and get the gifts wrong > time after time. > She does not like gift certs bec. that means lack of > control.. > > > kathleen > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Another area of enmeshment - they don't know we are separate from them or have separate tastes. I will say, though, in this particular area, my nada gave up years ago trying to please me and told me to pick it out. Ilene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 << in my mind I was thinking will nada approve of this? is it too modern?. >> Yo Other O's, Wow. Wow. I remember about 20 years or more ago buying four spring/summer outfits that were on sale and interchangeable with each other. I wear a lot of pastel colors and they were light pink, yellow, mint and blue and white. Well, nada threw one of her ape fits when I went over for dinner with these clothes on that she didn't pick out. It was an all out 'where did you get those and how dare you pick out something without my permission.' Well, anyhoo, I ended up leaving the dinner without eating. I was in my late 20s or early 30s and thought I had a right to pick out my own clothes. Now, bear in mind, I haven't seen her for years since being in Oz and ModO, but she would pick out winter outfits also and if I had something on that she hadn't bought or icked pout (typo intended, ;-)) then she would come up to me, pull me by the lapels and demand where I got it, how much I paid and how dare I wear something that she didn't know about. In another same vignette the same goes for perfume. She liked me to wear a perfume called Woodhue made back in the late 60s. Well, Faberge' doesn't make Woodhue, Tigress, Aphrodisia and Straw Hat anymore. I liked it on me and still have a bottle of Woodhue (that probably smells like bug spray by now), but I prefer Bal a Versailles by Desperez a very me scent. Well, Other O's, you guessed it. She doesn't like the Bal a Versailles, she wanted me to wear the Woodhue because it smelled like me. Once I had on the Bal a Versilles and she sniffed me and told me she liked the Woodhue! Another control issue. Another boundary violation sniffing me. You know how we all sniff ourselves all day and smell our own perfumes. Well, I prefer my own brand and want to smell like what I like not what someone else likes on me even if Woodhue does smell good on me. She said I smelled more like a piece of candy and looked more like a piece of candy if I wore that scent. It's just downright control. Pass the flea powder and the scents that we KOs like ourselves, and let's shop for clothes that we like. Respectfully submitted to ModO from my whoopie cushion with my St. 's Day green on. Otay, Otay, Christmas green is interchangable with St. Patty's day green. ;-) Rita " And she'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the keyboard away. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 << in my mind I was thinking will nada approve of this? is it too modern?. >> Yo Other O's, Wow. Wow. I remember about 20 years or more ago buying four spring/summer outfits that were on sale and interchangeable with each other. I wear a lot of pastel colors and they were light pink, yellow, mint and blue and white. Well, nada threw one of her ape fits when I went over for dinner with these clothes on that she didn't pick out. It was an all out 'where did you get those and how dare you pick out something without my permission.' Well, anyhoo, I ended up leaving the dinner without eating. I was in my late 20s or early 30s and thought I had a right to pick out my own clothes. Now, bear in mind, I haven't seen her for years since being in Oz and ModO, but she would pick out winter outfits also and if I had something on that she hadn't bought or icked pout (typo intended, ;-)) then she would come up to me, pull me by the lapels and demand where I got it, how much I paid and how dare I wear something that she didn't know about. In another same vignette the same goes for perfume. She liked me to wear a perfume called Woodhue made back in the late 60s. Well, Faberge' doesn't make Woodhue, Tigress, Aphrodisia and Straw Hat anymore. I liked it on me and still have a bottle of Woodhue (that probably smells like bug spray by now), but I prefer Bal a Versailles by Desperez a very me scent. Well, Other O's, you guessed it. She doesn't like the Bal a Versailles, she wanted me to wear the Woodhue because it smelled like me. Once I had on the Bal a Versilles and she sniffed me and told me she liked the Woodhue! Another control issue. Another boundary violation sniffing me. You know how we all sniff ourselves all day and smell our own perfumes. Well, I prefer my own brand and want to smell like what I like not what someone else likes on me even if Woodhue does smell good on me. She said I smelled more like a piece of candy and looked more like a piece of candy if I wore that scent. It's just downright control. Pass the flea powder and the scents that we KOs like ourselves, and let's shop for clothes that we like. Respectfully submitted to ModO from my whoopie cushion with my St. 's Day green on. Otay, Otay, Christmas green is interchangable with St. Patty's day green. ;-) Rita " And she'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the keyboard away. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 Hi all I can really relate about what you've been writing. My nada always picked my clothes. Most of my clothes were navy, I was never allowed to wear a straight skirt. When I got married, I bought some of my own clothes, I was so worried if she wouldn't like them. 2 years ago, I bought a really nice summer outfit, I was deliberating about whether I should buy it, in my mind I was thinking will nada approve of this? is it too modern?. My husband said to me, its gorgeous, buy it. After a long time in the store-driving the saleslady mad with indecision, I thought to myself, I only have to please myself, not my nada, too bad what she thinks, and so I bought it- Taking that step was so releasing, it was unbelievable, to think that I had the freedom to choose to do something myself without needing her approval. I felt empowered. It was a first step and since then I have taken many more- I have discovered I have my own taste in clothes that I never knew and I enjoy choosing my own wardrobe. last year when nada came to visit, she bought me a houserobe, it was revolting. She asked me if I liked it with no choice for an answer, I did not, could not say no. I have never worn it and although she asked me over hte phone about a few months later if I wear it, I just could not say no I don't. But now I am having the confidence to say NO. When she wanted to buy me maternity clothes, I said to her, I 'd rather pick my own thank you. She did not get offended in the end because I assured her that I did not want her to go to the trouble of shopping for me, so she took it to be a sign of the caring daughter. Dee p.s My wedding dress was made exactly the way she wanted and liked it. Although I had some choice, all my decisions were overridden that she knew best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 Hi all I can really relate about what you've been writing. My nada always picked my clothes. Most of my clothes were navy, I was never allowed to wear a straight skirt. When I got married, I bought some of my own clothes, I was so worried if she wouldn't like them. 2 years ago, I bought a really nice summer outfit, I was deliberating about whether I should buy it, in my mind I was thinking will nada approve of this? is it too modern?. My husband said to me, its gorgeous, buy it. After a long time in the store-driving the saleslady mad with indecision, I thought to myself, I only have to please myself, not my nada, too bad what she thinks, and so I bought it- Taking that step was so releasing, it was unbelievable, to think that I had the freedom to choose to do something myself without needing her approval. I felt empowered. It was a first step and since then I have taken many more- I have discovered I have my own taste in clothes that I never knew and I enjoy choosing my own wardrobe. last year when nada came to visit, she bought me a houserobe, it was revolting. She asked me if I liked it with no choice for an answer, I did not, could not say no. I have never worn it and although she asked me over hte phone about a few months later if I wear it, I just could not say no I don't. But now I am having the confidence to say NO. When she wanted to buy me maternity clothes, I said to her, I 'd rather pick my own thank you. She did not get offended in the end because I assured her that I did not want her to go to the trouble of shopping for me, so she took it to be a sign of the caring daughter. Dee p.s My wedding dress was made exactly the way she wanted and liked it. Although I had some choice, all my decisions were overridden that she knew best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 Hi Everyone! I've been following the " clothes " thread, about nadas gaving clothing gifts that were tacky and out of style. As a parent, I'm guilty. In the early 80s, I was a parent of a pre-teen child, and I had a difficult time dealing with the clothing fads he felt the need to keep up with. Why? The Generation Gap, I suppose. When I was a pre-teen in the 50s, the last thing we cared about was clothes. We were still jumping rope, climbing trees, playing cowboys and robbers, and riding Schwinn bikes. So, as a parent, I thought I had a while yet before I had to deal with adolescent fashion trends. Well............. in the early 80s we lived on a tight budget, so when pre-teen son wanted a pair of very expensive Jordache jeans, he had to wait, which I didn't think was unfair. As a child, I often had to wait for the things I wanted, not because of parental meanness, but because we were taught to wait and save. Also, fashions didn't change that much when I was in high school during the 60s, such as slacks and shirts with button-down collars for the boys, and sheaths, skirts and blouses for the girls. The thing that did change a lot were shorter and shorter hemlines. Frequent rehemming easily fixed the problem, because the garment was still fashionable, as long as the hemline was just right. .. So, for Christmas we gave son his heart's desire........... a pair of Jordache jeans, and I couldn't wait to see the glee on his face. When he didn't seem overjoyed, I later asked why, and he said, " Mom, nobody wears them anymore. " I was sick! The times had changed. Young kids had been turned into little " consumer machines " who were putting unbearable pressure on their parents to spend money " right now " on the latest fads and designer labels that would be out of style in a month or two. I had given my child a tacky unfashionable clothing gift. Sigh! Best wishes, Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 Hi Everyone! I've been following the " clothes " thread, about nadas gaving clothing gifts that were tacky and out of style. As a parent, I'm guilty. In the early 80s, I was a parent of a pre-teen child, and I had a difficult time dealing with the clothing fads he felt the need to keep up with. Why? The Generation Gap, I suppose. When I was a pre-teen in the 50s, the last thing we cared about was clothes. We were still jumping rope, climbing trees, playing cowboys and robbers, and riding Schwinn bikes. So, as a parent, I thought I had a while yet before I had to deal with adolescent fashion trends. Well............. in the early 80s we lived on a tight budget, so when pre-teen son wanted a pair of very expensive Jordache jeans, he had to wait, which I didn't think was unfair. As a child, I often had to wait for the things I wanted, not because of parental meanness, but because we were taught to wait and save. Also, fashions didn't change that much when I was in high school during the 60s, such as slacks and shirts with button-down collars for the boys, and sheaths, skirts and blouses for the girls. The thing that did change a lot were shorter and shorter hemlines. Frequent rehemming easily fixed the problem, because the garment was still fashionable, as long as the hemline was just right. .. So, for Christmas we gave son his heart's desire........... a pair of Jordache jeans, and I couldn't wait to see the glee on his face. When he didn't seem overjoyed, I later asked why, and he said, " Mom, nobody wears them anymore. " I was sick! The times had changed. Young kids had been turned into little " consumer machines " who were putting unbearable pressure on their parents to spend money " right now " on the latest fads and designer labels that would be out of style in a month or two. I had given my child a tacky unfashionable clothing gift. Sigh! Best wishes, Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 Hi Everyone! I've been following the " clothes " thread, about nadas gaving clothing gifts that were tacky and out of style. As a parent, I'm guilty. In the early 80s, I was a parent of a pre-teen child, and I had a difficult time dealing with the clothing fads he felt the need to keep up with. Why? The Generation Gap, I suppose. When I was a pre-teen in the 50s, the last thing we cared about was clothes. We were still jumping rope, climbing trees, playing cowboys and robbers, and riding Schwinn bikes. So, as a parent, I thought I had a while yet before I had to deal with adolescent fashion trends. Well............. in the early 80s we lived on a tight budget, so when pre-teen son wanted a pair of very expensive Jordache jeans, he had to wait, which I didn't think was unfair. As a child, I often had to wait for the things I wanted, not because of parental meanness, but because we were taught to wait and save. Also, fashions didn't change that much when I was in high school during the 60s, such as slacks and shirts with button-down collars for the boys, and sheaths, skirts and blouses for the girls. The thing that did change a lot were shorter and shorter hemlines. Frequent rehemming easily fixed the problem, because the garment was still fashionable, as long as the hemline was just right. .. So, for Christmas we gave son his heart's desire........... a pair of Jordache jeans, and I couldn't wait to see the glee on his face. When he didn't seem overjoyed, I later asked why, and he said, " Mom, nobody wears them anymore. " I was sick! The times had changed. Young kids had been turned into little " consumer machines " who were putting unbearable pressure on their parents to spend money " right now " on the latest fads and designer labels that would be out of style in a month or two. I had given my child a tacky unfashionable clothing gift. Sigh! Best wishes, Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 i don't remember alot of the clothes stuff from when I was living at home. but a few years ago I got a big package from her, can't remember if it was my birthday or Christmas. anyway when I opened it was a box of used shoes, you could tell cos the soles were worn. none were in my size. then there was an assortment of clothes some new, some used, none of it was my size. anyway when I called her I made a comment on how bad the one dress looked. she said- of course it would, it was meant for a skinny person. (mind you she outweighed me by about 80 pounds at the time of her death about a year or so later.) ** , Stinky's caretaker** Froehliche Weihnachten, Merry Christmas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 i don't remember alot of the clothes stuff from when I was living at home. but a few years ago I got a big package from her, can't remember if it was my birthday or Christmas. anyway when I opened it was a box of used shoes, you could tell cos the soles were worn. none were in my size. then there was an assortment of clothes some new, some used, none of it was my size. anyway when I called her I made a comment on how bad the one dress looked. she said- of course it would, it was meant for a skinny person. (mind you she outweighed me by about 80 pounds at the time of her death about a year or so later.) ** , Stinky's caretaker** Froehliche Weihnachten, Merry Christmas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2001 Report Share Posted December 12, 2001 i don't remember alot of the clothes stuff from when I was living at home. but a few years ago I got a big package from her, can't remember if it was my birthday or Christmas. anyway when I opened it was a box of used shoes, you could tell cos the soles were worn. none were in my size. then there was an assortment of clothes some new, some used, none of it was my size. anyway when I called her I made a comment on how bad the one dress looked. she said- of course it would, it was meant for a skinny person. (mind you she outweighed me by about 80 pounds at the time of her death about a year or so later.) ** , Stinky's caretaker** Froehliche Weihnachten, Merry Christmas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2006 Report Share Posted September 6, 2006 Hello All... I posted this a month or so ago but will do so again. If anyone is interested in looking at the pre-loved clothes that I have here in the big purple suitcase, please let me know by email - ciao_mellie@ yahoo.com.au - no spaces and I will give you details of me home address and phone number etc. Its all in the database if you want to call me. I am happy to do this, but as our next two get togethers are going to be restaurants, there is no point me lugging them as no one will be able to try on. I have offered my house for the February or March get together but I really don't want to have the clothes here for that long. They need a home and if no one is interested in giving them a home, I am going to give them to charity. They will be out of fashion before next year!!!! Now... for any interested person, is coming here on Friday afternoon at about 2.30pm to have a look, so if anyone else would like to come along this Friday, please feel free and let me know by return post. Thanks... Mel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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