Anxiety with uneaten food...

[Guest guest]

Another weekend has come and gone. For me, that involves the ritual

Saturday morning brunch, and dinner at a restaurant. Well, I did what

we've been learning to do, and save up so that we are properly hungry

to enjoy every bite of our special meals. I DID! And when I stopped

enjoying, I stopped eating. It's so hard, because I always have to

make all the food in front of me disappear (i.e. I EAT it). To leave a

few bites here and there, well, it broke my heart, and made me feel

really anxious inside.

Somewhere along my path, I have learned to feel anxious and worried

when I haven't finished my plate. What's the solution to that anxiety?

simple! I would eat it. Now I'm going to have to learn to sit with

that anxiety, because I wish to be a naturally slim COV.

Another mealtime situation that makes me feel very anxious is when

husband and I (no kids) are sitting at the dining table after dinner

is over. He wishes to chat, I wish to ESCAPE! I feel very uncomfortable.

Well, of course this stuff all makes sense. Mealtimes at my house

growing up were the one time when we all gathered together. That means

that all hell broke loose. My older brother would be screaming at my

mother, my dad would join in, I'd stick up for whoever, or generally

try to disappear. It was NOT a happy time! There were even evenings

when my older brother became so enraged that he would throw food or a

dish. Scary stuff, and it's not like my parents were in any position

to protect me. Basically, dinnertime was over when the food was gone.

You see where I'm going with this, huh?

BUT! I have a NEW family now. Me and h and 2 darling kitties -- not

that they get to eat our human food!

My therapist has suggested that I incorporate some kind of post-dinner

ritual so that I won't be so anxious to linger at the dinner table.

We came up with the idea of enjoying a (small!) glass of wine. I enjoy

wine, it's relaxing, and it's not something I can chug. If I only pour

the glass AFTER the food is gone, I won't get tipsy, and I will feel

more at ease.

So, I'm thinking something like this:

Before dinner - set the table, light candle (oooh! romantic!!)

Cook dinner - be thinking about what to talk about during dinner

Serve on pretty dishes in pretty and reasonable portions. Keep extra

food in the kitchen for seconds

Eat, enjoying every lovely bite (we are both excellent cooks

Clear the dishes (especially if there is leftover food on our plate/s

Pour and enjoy a small glass of wine. 4 ounces, for example.

The best part is that we can get some nice ambience from our Christmas

tree, which is still open for business *wink!

What do you guys think?