Abbott & Costello Computer Joke OT

[Guest guest]

Abbott and Costello's Computer Conversation

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and

Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers,

to fully appreciate this. For those of us who

sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read

on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their

infamous sketch, " Who's on first? " might have turned

out something like this:

Costello Calls To Buy A Computer from Abbott

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den

and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at

the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer

and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can

use to write proposals, track expenses and run my

business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend

anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK,

let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want

to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue " W " .

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue " w " if you

don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget

that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I

watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I

need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch

reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great! With what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a

movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue " 1 " .

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue " 1 " .

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT: The blue " 1 " is Real One and the blue " W " is

Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there are three words in " office for

windows " !

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word

in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other

Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other

Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One

isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about

financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track

my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?

How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on " START " ….

Ray