Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 God bless you , Anastasia. That makes so much sense. Any suggestions on why teeth brushing is so impossible? Bridget Re: anastasia > > Hi Anastasia. I have a question you may be able to help me with. My > daughter absolutely hates having her hair brushed. Hair cuts are a > nightmare for her. She says that it makes her feel cold.? Any ideas > on how I can make this easier for her? > > > Mom to Mackenzie (8 yrs old CdLS + Asperger's or PDD) > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 God bless you , Anastasia. That makes so much sense. Any suggestions on why teeth brushing is so impossible? Bridget Re: anastasia > > Hi Anastasia. I have a question you may be able to help me with. My > daughter absolutely hates having her hair brushed. Hair cuts are a > nightmare for her. She says that it makes her feel cold.? Any ideas > on how I can make this easier for her? > > > Mom to Mackenzie (8 yrs old CdLS + Asperger's or PDD) > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2004 Report Share Posted August 19, 2004 Anastasia, welcome. I to be Sondra an adult with high functioning autism who to lives in Ohio. I to be wondered about you can you to share about you? How old and what state and such . It is nice to have you here. About baths that is funny you to say that water is too hot to you as for me it is often too cold, and I to do the same mix things like you but add only hot. When I to get out of bath my skin is often very red. When of chilled by the house air I too lay back in water too up to my face areas and just lay there. I to like to sift the water through my hands to see the shiny color on my hands and will get stuck doing this. I to also like to swirl the water in the same fashions but also like to rub the tips of my fingers much so on the porcelain and to listen to the squeaky sound it makes over and over. And like you if the water even feels like it is cooling down I to add more hot. When in the bath can be there for much of an hour because want to play, but if have to take one quick can do that too but it is not as enjoyable. I to use to hate of showers because the water felt to me like shocks or pin pokes to me over and over and was quite painful or annoying. I to like showers now only if the house air is warm and right not drafty or air conditioned. I to hate the feel of any cold to me so when done with shower or bath the dreaded part is the getting out because of the chill it to gives me. I to hate rain because it does cause me sensory discomfort and feels like needle pokes, it is cold and wet all feels I to not like. Yet LOL I to like to swim but most often if the pool is outside in very warm and bright sun light. I can be to swim in heated pools. but they are a think that one has to get use to after getting in to the water to play. I to love water for the deep pressure inputs and calming it brings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 Anastasia I would like to second what Sondra said and say " Welcome to the Group. " Its nice to have you here. If you have posted before then I apologize because I have been behind on my mail. I enjoyed your post and could see a lot of my Abby in it. She does the same swirl thing in the tub starting with cooler water and then adding hot. Pennie Abby's Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2004 Report Share Posted August 21, 2004 Thank you. I have been lurking. Anastasia > From: Ploveabby@... > Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls > Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2004 09:20:52 EDT > To: Autism_in_Girls > Subject: Re: anastasia > > > Anastasia I would like to second what Sondra said and say " Welcome to the > Group. " Its nice to have you here. If you have posted before then I apologize > because I have been behind on my mail. I enjoyed your post and could see a lot > of > my Abby in it. She does the same swirl thing in the tub starting with cooler > water and then adding hot. > > Pennie > Abby's Mom > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 Dear Sondra - Thank you for writing to me after I wrote about baths and mixing water and temperature. It is nice to hear someone is the same in many ways. Somehow I didnt get your letter email until just now. I don't know where it was. Yes many things you wrote are the same with me, especially getting cold when I get out of the water. When I take a bath I pull the shower crtain all around the tub so no drafts can get in. Sometimes I think the door is closed but somehow my cat gets it open and then it's cold out there when I get out and it is awful. I like to stay in very long times also and also at the beach or pool. I do not drive so I don't get to those places though. I have the same kind of quirks about the water and doing the dishes. It causes delays sometimes. Dishes have to be done a certain way. Actually I prefer dishwashers but I don't have one. Funny that water is so involved in our routines. This is a different question. Do you drive? I could never do it. I tried when I was 16 and they had a class at school, but it was too much to do at once and I worried about every kind of problem that could happen and everything was too intense and I felt frozen or confused. I liked learning about how the car worked in the engine and everything but trying to run the car and get through the maze of roads and the maze of people going every which way --- there were just too many people who I didn't know what they were going to do. So I gave up and my life is much more difficult because I didn't learn it. I can't get away to go to hike in the woods or visit people. I have to walk everywhere or take a bus and carry heavy stuff. I would be living someplace in the country if I could drive. So it makes me kind of stuck. I wonder if other people with autism have trouble with this. Some times people told me, If you really wanted to do it, you could. It is hard for them to understand there could be some other reason. I was just wondering. Well thank you again for writing to me. Good luck. Anastasia > > Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls > Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 08:31:21 -0400 > To: <Autism_in_Girls > > Subject: Re: anastasia > > Anastasia, welcome. > > I to be Sondra an adult with high functioning autism who to lives in Ohio. > I to be wondered about you can you to share about you? How old and what > state and such . It is nice to have you here. > > About baths that is funny you to say that water is too hot to you as for me > it is often too cold, and I to do the same mix things like you but add only > hot. When I to get out of bath my skin is often very red. When of chilled by > the house air I too lay back in water too up to my face areas and just lay > there. I to like to sift the water through my hands to see the shiny color > on my hands and will get stuck doing this. I to also like to swirl the water > in the same fashions but also like to rub the tips of my fingers much so on > the porcelain and to listen to the squeaky sound it makes over and over. And > like you if the water even feels like it is cooling down I to add more hot. > > When in the bath can be there for much of an hour because want to play, but > if have to take one quick can do that too but it is not as enjoyable. > > I to use to hate of showers because the water felt to me like shocks or pin > pokes to me over and over and was quite painful or annoying. > > I to like showers now only if the house air is warm and right not drafty or > air conditioned. I to hate the feel of any cold to me so when done with > shower or bath the dreaded part is the getting out because of the chill it > to gives me. > > I to hate rain because it does cause me sensory discomfort and feels like > needle pokes, it is cold and wet all feels I to not like. > > Yet LOL I to like to swim but most often if the pool is outside in very warm > and bright sun light. I can be to swim in heated pools. but they are a think > that one has to get use to after getting in to the water to play. I to love > water for the deep pressure inputs and calming it brings. > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 Dear Sondra - Thank you for writing to me after I wrote about baths and mixing water and temperature. It is nice to hear someone is the same in many ways. Somehow I didnt get your letter email until just now. I don't know where it was. Yes many things you wrote are the same with me, especially getting cold when I get out of the water. When I take a bath I pull the shower crtain all around the tub so no drafts can get in. Sometimes I think the door is closed but somehow my cat gets it open and then it's cold out there when I get out and it is awful. I like to stay in very long times also and also at the beach or pool. I do not drive so I don't get to those places though. I have the same kind of quirks about the water and doing the dishes. It causes delays sometimes. Dishes have to be done a certain way. Actually I prefer dishwashers but I don't have one. Funny that water is so involved in our routines. This is a different question. Do you drive? I could never do it. I tried when I was 16 and they had a class at school, but it was too much to do at once and I worried about every kind of problem that could happen and everything was too intense and I felt frozen or confused. I liked learning about how the car worked in the engine and everything but trying to run the car and get through the maze of roads and the maze of people going every which way --- there were just too many people who I didn't know what they were going to do. So I gave up and my life is much more difficult because I didn't learn it. I can't get away to go to hike in the woods or visit people. I have to walk everywhere or take a bus and carry heavy stuff. I would be living someplace in the country if I could drive. So it makes me kind of stuck. I wonder if other people with autism have trouble with this. Some times people told me, If you really wanted to do it, you could. It is hard for them to understand there could be some other reason. I was just wondering. Well thank you again for writing to me. Good luck. Anastasia > > Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls > Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 08:31:21 -0400 > To: <Autism_in_Girls > > Subject: Re: anastasia > > Anastasia, welcome. > > I to be Sondra an adult with high functioning autism who to lives in Ohio. > I to be wondered about you can you to share about you? How old and what > state and such . It is nice to have you here. > > About baths that is funny you to say that water is too hot to you as for me > it is often too cold, and I to do the same mix things like you but add only > hot. When I to get out of bath my skin is often very red. When of chilled by > the house air I too lay back in water too up to my face areas and just lay > there. I to like to sift the water through my hands to see the shiny color > on my hands and will get stuck doing this. I to also like to swirl the water > in the same fashions but also like to rub the tips of my fingers much so on > the porcelain and to listen to the squeaky sound it makes over and over. And > like you if the water even feels like it is cooling down I to add more hot. > > When in the bath can be there for much of an hour because want to play, but > if have to take one quick can do that too but it is not as enjoyable. > > I to use to hate of showers because the water felt to me like shocks or pin > pokes to me over and over and was quite painful or annoying. > > I to like showers now only if the house air is warm and right not drafty or > air conditioned. I to hate the feel of any cold to me so when done with > shower or bath the dreaded part is the getting out because of the chill it > to gives me. > > I to hate rain because it does cause me sensory discomfort and feels like > needle pokes, it is cold and wet all feels I to not like. > > Yet LOL I to like to swim but most often if the pool is outside in very warm > and bright sun light. I can be to swim in heated pools. but they are a think > that one has to get use to after getting in to the water to play. I to love > water for the deep pressure inputs and calming it brings. > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 Dear Sondra - Thank you for writing to me after I wrote about baths and mixing water and temperature. It is nice to hear someone is the same in many ways. Somehow I didnt get your letter email until just now. I don't know where it was. Yes many things you wrote are the same with me, especially getting cold when I get out of the water. When I take a bath I pull the shower crtain all around the tub so no drafts can get in. Sometimes I think the door is closed but somehow my cat gets it open and then it's cold out there when I get out and it is awful. I like to stay in very long times also and also at the beach or pool. I do not drive so I don't get to those places though. I have the same kind of quirks about the water and doing the dishes. It causes delays sometimes. Dishes have to be done a certain way. Actually I prefer dishwashers but I don't have one. Funny that water is so involved in our routines. This is a different question. Do you drive? I could never do it. I tried when I was 16 and they had a class at school, but it was too much to do at once and I worried about every kind of problem that could happen and everything was too intense and I felt frozen or confused. I liked learning about how the car worked in the engine and everything but trying to run the car and get through the maze of roads and the maze of people going every which way --- there were just too many people who I didn't know what they were going to do. So I gave up and my life is much more difficult because I didn't learn it. I can't get away to go to hike in the woods or visit people. I have to walk everywhere or take a bus and carry heavy stuff. I would be living someplace in the country if I could drive. So it makes me kind of stuck. I wonder if other people with autism have trouble with this. Some times people told me, If you really wanted to do it, you could. It is hard for them to understand there could be some other reason. I was just wondering. Well thank you again for writing to me. Good luck. Anastasia > > Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls > Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 08:31:21 -0400 > To: <Autism_in_Girls > > Subject: Re: anastasia > > Anastasia, welcome. > > I to be Sondra an adult with high functioning autism who to lives in Ohio. > I to be wondered about you can you to share about you? How old and what > state and such . It is nice to have you here. > > About baths that is funny you to say that water is too hot to you as for me > it is often too cold, and I to do the same mix things like you but add only > hot. When I to get out of bath my skin is often very red. When of chilled by > the house air I too lay back in water too up to my face areas and just lay > there. I to like to sift the water through my hands to see the shiny color > on my hands and will get stuck doing this. I to also like to swirl the water > in the same fashions but also like to rub the tips of my fingers much so on > the porcelain and to listen to the squeaky sound it makes over and over. And > like you if the water even feels like it is cooling down I to add more hot. > > When in the bath can be there for much of an hour because want to play, but > if have to take one quick can do that too but it is not as enjoyable. > > I to use to hate of showers because the water felt to me like shocks or pin > pokes to me over and over and was quite painful or annoying. > > I to like showers now only if the house air is warm and right not drafty or > air conditioned. I to hate the feel of any cold to me so when done with > shower or bath the dreaded part is the getting out because of the chill it > to gives me. > > I to hate rain because it does cause me sensory discomfort and feels like > needle pokes, it is cold and wet all feels I to not like. > > Yet LOL I to like to swim but most often if the pool is outside in very warm > and bright sun light. I can be to swim in heated pools. but they are a think > that one has to get use to after getting in to the water to play. I to love > water for the deep pressure inputs and calming it brings. > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 Hi Anastasia. I have a question you may be able to help me with. My daughter absolutely hates having her hair brushed. Hair cuts are a nightmare for her. She says that it makes her feel cold.? Any ideas on how I can make this easier for her? Mom to Mackenzie (8 yrs old CdLS + Asperger's or PDD) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 Hi Anastasia. I have a question you may be able to help me with. My daughter absolutely hates having her hair brushed. Hair cuts are a nightmare for her. She says that it makes her feel cold.? Any ideas on how I can make this easier for her? Mom to Mackenzie (8 yrs old CdLS + Asperger's or PDD) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 I have a 12 yo. She couldn't tell us she hated anyone doing anything to her hair, but she let us know. What helped her was desensitizing her face and scalp. We would alternate deep pressure on her head, around her eyes, nose, and her ears, with very light tickling touches. We would do it for a couple of minutes several times a day. Now she wants her hair long, wants it styled, shampoos her hair w/ help, but the sensory issue is gone. Marie (AZ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 RE: Brushing Hair Well I can relate. Hair is a problem. Brushing, combing, washing or cutting. The truth is I don't think about it, unless something as to be done to it. I have thick wavy hair which presently is pretty short, sort of a Beatles length. I do depend on it for warmth I guess, which is why the haircut is sort of like wearing a hat. I wear hats all the time. For protection I call it, somehow it makes me feel safer. I try to remember to brush my hair when I brush my teeth in th morning, otherwise I would completely forget, and it will be all wild and mussed up and I wouldn't know because I never look at myself in the mirror the rest of the day. The kind of hairbrush is very important. Most feel very scratchy. I like the ones with plastic bristles that have tiny knobs on the end. Combs are bad because they pull. Particularly if I got behind on brushing. The main thing, is to put her charge of the process. I would sugget having your daughter try different kinds of brushes, maybe family members' brushes. selecting a type of brush that doesn't hurt, maybe going shopping for hair stuff she picks out, favorite color brush I have to force my self to wash it since I don't like baths and showers except for relaxing but I know it has to be done. If my hair was any longer I would have to do something more with it that wash and wear. When I was younger I had long hair, which I had in braids like an Indian and being into that, it worked out for a long time. Braids keep hair cleaner and needing less brushing, and give waves when you undo them. When I got to be older there was a lot of pressure from others to look more stylish and have a hairdo which was longer, but that was a disaster, I didn't brush it enough and it got all tangled and I got stuff in it and the only thing to do was cut it all off into a short cut at the beauty parlor which was like being punished. I was supposed to feel compensated because I got a permanent but I hated it mainly because I didn't look like me. That was always the most traumatic thing, not to look like me -- since I was barely here as it was, if I didn't look the same, I felt like I was disolving. So I fiercely defended things like what color I would wear just to keep some control. Anyway, as far as haircuts, most beauty shops have books to look at with possible hairstyles they could give you. Have your daughter look at the pictures and pick a style she likes. If she goes with something too hard to maintain, or too extreme, remind her of the upkeep. Chances are she'll recognize a look as being " her " . Help her deal with the outside pushes to conform - ask for her imput and support her choices. Maybe make the hair events, brushing, washing, cutting etc. something the two of you do together? Try to find out what exactly is the problem? Maybe try fragrant or dry shampoo, tangle free cream rinses. Maybe a nightcap to wear for sleeping if she feels chilled. Always try to let your daughter " own " or at least understand the experiences that are happening to her or demands that society makes on everyone. Don't just make rules or say because I say so. Some things she may not ever understand or just won't care about. So just stick to what really really matters, the bare minimum, but hint that some people find a whole hidden world there. Beyond that, support her own decisions and creativity, try to open doors of possibility for her that are closed for no good reason other than convention. Having control and being able to make decisions and have decisions be respected is very important for being able to get along in the world which seems so different, inexplicable and unreasonable to us most of the time. She may never care about hair styles. That doen't mean she won't look good, get married, write a book or become a rocket scientist. Rocket scientists do have to get hair cuts and keep their hair brushed. Maybe the scientific approach would help - we have hair and we have to take care of it. It needs to get washed, brushed and trimmed once in a while to be healthy, like fingernails. It keeps growing and it can get disorganized, which doesn't feel good or look good, so we have to neaten it up once in a while. It's part of living on earth! Gotta do it. People's (and pets) hair needs to be exercised, sometimes trimmed. My dog - a husky -brushes his own hair on the shrubbery. Birds preen their feathers. etc. Maybe you can get a book about hair. and fur, feathers, etc. You could delegate brushing the dog or cat to her who will probably enjoy the attention. Try to show the positive aspects of tasks with actions, stories, and other 3D activities, help her to find a reason she wants to do it, something enjoyable about it, or at least something to make it a little bit fun - colorful barrettes or ribbons, learn to make braids or even silly hair styles in yours and her hair, brush everyone else's hair in the family.. You might also relate brushing hair with petting the cat or dog, as in getting a massage on the head. You might show her how to run her fingers through her hair for a massage. (Probably the original comb.) Well I hope this helps. I can't think of anything else. Good Luck !! Anastasia > > Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls > Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 11:13:20 -0000 > To: Autism_in_Girls > Subject: Re: anastasia > > Hi Anastasia. I have a question you may be able to help me with. My > daughter absolutely hates having her hair brushed. Hair cuts are a > nightmare for her. She says that it makes her feel cold.? Any ideas > on how I can make this easier for her? > > > Mom to Mackenzie (8 yrs old CdLS + Asperger's or PDD) > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 RE: Brushing Hair Well I can relate. Hair is a problem. Brushing, combing, washing or cutting. The truth is I don't think about it, unless something as to be done to it. I have thick wavy hair which presently is pretty short, sort of a Beatles length. I do depend on it for warmth I guess, which is why the haircut is sort of like wearing a hat. I wear hats all the time. For protection I call it, somehow it makes me feel safer. I try to remember to brush my hair when I brush my teeth in th morning, otherwise I would completely forget, and it will be all wild and mussed up and I wouldn't know because I never look at myself in the mirror the rest of the day. The kind of hairbrush is very important. Most feel very scratchy. I like the ones with plastic bristles that have tiny knobs on the end. Combs are bad because they pull. Particularly if I got behind on brushing. The main thing, is to put her charge of the process. I would sugget having your daughter try different kinds of brushes, maybe family members' brushes. selecting a type of brush that doesn't hurt, maybe going shopping for hair stuff she picks out, favorite color brush I have to force my self to wash it since I don't like baths and showers except for relaxing but I know it has to be done. If my hair was any longer I would have to do something more with it that wash and wear. When I was younger I had long hair, which I had in braids like an Indian and being into that, it worked out for a long time. Braids keep hair cleaner and needing less brushing, and give waves when you undo them. When I got to be older there was a lot of pressure from others to look more stylish and have a hairdo which was longer, but that was a disaster, I didn't brush it enough and it got all tangled and I got stuff in it and the only thing to do was cut it all off into a short cut at the beauty parlor which was like being punished. I was supposed to feel compensated because I got a permanent but I hated it mainly because I didn't look like me. That was always the most traumatic thing, not to look like me -- since I was barely here as it was, if I didn't look the same, I felt like I was disolving. So I fiercely defended things like what color I would wear just to keep some control. Anyway, as far as haircuts, most beauty shops have books to look at with possible hairstyles they could give you. Have your daughter look at the pictures and pick a style she likes. If she goes with something too hard to maintain, or too extreme, remind her of the upkeep. Chances are she'll recognize a look as being " her " . Help her deal with the outside pushes to conform - ask for her imput and support her choices. Maybe make the hair events, brushing, washing, cutting etc. something the two of you do together? Try to find out what exactly is the problem? Maybe try fragrant or dry shampoo, tangle free cream rinses. Maybe a nightcap to wear for sleeping if she feels chilled. Always try to let your daughter " own " or at least understand the experiences that are happening to her or demands that society makes on everyone. Don't just make rules or say because I say so. Some things she may not ever understand or just won't care about. So just stick to what really really matters, the bare minimum, but hint that some people find a whole hidden world there. Beyond that, support her own decisions and creativity, try to open doors of possibility for her that are closed for no good reason other than convention. Having control and being able to make decisions and have decisions be respected is very important for being able to get along in the world which seems so different, inexplicable and unreasonable to us most of the time. She may never care about hair styles. That doen't mean she won't look good, get married, write a book or become a rocket scientist. Rocket scientists do have to get hair cuts and keep their hair brushed. Maybe the scientific approach would help - we have hair and we have to take care of it. It needs to get washed, brushed and trimmed once in a while to be healthy, like fingernails. It keeps growing and it can get disorganized, which doesn't feel good or look good, so we have to neaten it up once in a while. It's part of living on earth! Gotta do it. People's (and pets) hair needs to be exercised, sometimes trimmed. My dog - a husky -brushes his own hair on the shrubbery. Birds preen their feathers. etc. Maybe you can get a book about hair. and fur, feathers, etc. You could delegate brushing the dog or cat to her who will probably enjoy the attention. Try to show the positive aspects of tasks with actions, stories, and other 3D activities, help her to find a reason she wants to do it, something enjoyable about it, or at least something to make it a little bit fun - colorful barrettes or ribbons, learn to make braids or even silly hair styles in yours and her hair, brush everyone else's hair in the family.. You might also relate brushing hair with petting the cat or dog, as in getting a massage on the head. You might show her how to run her fingers through her hair for a massage. (Probably the original comb.) Well I hope this helps. I can't think of anything else. Good Luck !! Anastasia > > Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls > Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 11:13:20 -0000 > To: Autism_in_Girls > Subject: Re: anastasia > > Hi Anastasia. I have a question you may be able to help me with. My > daughter absolutely hates having her hair brushed. Hair cuts are a > nightmare for her. She says that it makes her feel cold.? Any ideas > on how I can make this easier for her? > > > Mom to Mackenzie (8 yrs old CdLS + Asperger's or PDD) > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 Anastasia, I just wanted to write and thank you for your insightful comments. You started off addressing a mundane topic like hairbrushing, (which I also have massive problems with my 4 1/2 year old autistic daughter) and ended up giving some wonderful advice on raising autistic daughters to be responsible beings with a sense of control over their lives'. I will save your post and refer to it whenever I need a sense of perspective! What's interesting is that we were having terrible luck potty-training my Ellie, and it was only when we let her have control of the situation that we had a complete turn-around in her behavior. Not only that but in order to get that control she had to respond to our questions, " Do you have to go potty " ? For the first time ever she began nodding or shaking her head to answer a question. It's like she realized that in order to get us to stop dragging her to the toilet every half and hour she had to enter our world and start communicating with us. It was a pretty major breakthrough in my view and all because we let her have some control over her life. She's such a smart cookie, we just have to let her shine in her own way! Someone like you can be such a helpful resource to parents of autistic daughters--thank you for your thoughts! Sharon Castellanos, mom of Ellie, 4 1/2 > RE: Brushing Hair > > Well I can relate. Hair is a problem. Brushing, combing, washing or > cutting. The truth is I don't think about it, unless something as to be > done to it. I have thick wavy hair which presently is pretty short, sort of > a Beatles length. I do depend on it for warmth I guess, which is why the > haircut is sort of like wearing a hat. I wear hats all the time. For > protection I call it, somehow it makes me feel safer. I try to remember to > brush my hair when I brush my teeth in th morning, otherwise I would > completely forget, and it will be all wild and mussed up and I wouldn't know > because I never look at myself in the mirror the rest of the day. The kind > of hairbrush is very important. Most feel very scratchy. I like the ones > with plastic bristles that have tiny knobs on the end. Combs are bad because > they pull. Particularly if I got behind on brushing. > > The main thing, is to put her charge of the process. I would sugget having > your daughter try different kinds of brushes, maybe family members' brushes. > selecting a type of brush that doesn't hurt, maybe going shopping for hair > stuff she picks out, favorite color brush > > I have to force my self to wash it since I don't like baths and showers > except for relaxing but I know it has to be done. If my hair was any longer > I would have to do something more with it that wash and wear. When I was > younger I had long hair, which I had in braids like an Indian and being into > that, it worked out for a long time. Braids keep hair cleaner and needing > less brushing, and give waves when you undo them. When I got to be older > there was a lot of pressure from others to look more stylish and have a > hairdo which was longer, but that was a disaster, I didn't brush it enough > and it got all tangled and I got stuff in it and the only thing to do was > cut it all off into a short cut at the beauty parlor which was like being > punished. I was supposed to feel compensated because I got a permanent but I > hated it mainly because I didn't look like me. That was always the most > traumatic thing, not to look like me -- since I was barely here as it was, > if I didn't look the same, I felt like I was disolving. So I fiercely > defended things like what color I would wear just to keep some control. > > Anyway, as far as haircuts, most beauty shops have books to look at with > possible hairstyles they could give you. Have your daughter look at the > pictures and pick a style she likes. If she goes with something too hard to > maintain, or too extreme, remind her of the upkeep. Chances are she'll > recognize a look as being " her " . Help her deal with the outside pushes to > conform - ask for her imput and support her choices. Maybe make the hair > events, brushing, washing, cutting etc. something the two of you do > together? Try to find out what exactly is the problem? Maybe try fragrant > or dry shampoo, tangle free cream rinses. Maybe a nightcap to wear for > sleeping if she feels chilled. > > Always try to let your daughter " own " or at least understand the experiences > that are happening to her or demands that society makes on everyone. Don't > just make rules or say because I say so. Some things she may not ever > understand or just won't care about. So just stick to what really really > matters, the bare minimum, but hint that some people find a whole hidden > world there. Beyond that, support her own decisions and creativity, try to > open doors of possibility for her that are closed for no good reason other > than convention. Having control and being able to make decisions and have > decisions be respected is very important for being able to get along in the > world which seems so different, inexplicable and unreasonable to us most of > the time. > > She may never care about hair styles. That doen't mean she won't look good, > get married, write a book or become a rocket scientist. Rocket scientists > do have to get hair cuts and keep their hair brushed. Maybe the scientific > approach would help - we have hair and we have to take care of it. It > needs to get washed, brushed and trimmed once in a while to be healthy, like > fingernails. It keeps growing and it can get disorganized, which doesn't > feel good or look good, so we have to neaten it up once in a while. It's > part of living on earth! Gotta do it. People's (and pets) hair needs to be > exercised, sometimes trimmed. My dog - a husky -brushes his own hair on the > shrubbery. Birds preen their feathers. etc. Maybe you can get a book > about hair. and fur, feathers, etc. You could delegate brushing the dog or > cat to her who will probably enjoy the attention. Try to show the positive > aspects of tasks with actions, stories, and other 3D activities, help her to > find a reason she wants to do it, something enjoyable about it, or at least > something to make it a little bit fun - colorful barrettes or ribbons, learn > to make braids or even silly hair styles in yours and her hair, brush > everyone else's hair in the family.. You might also relate brushing hair > with petting the cat or dog, as in getting a massage on the head. You might > show her how to run her fingers through her hair for a massage. (Probably > the original comb.) > > Well I hope this helps. I can't think of anything else. > Good Luck !! > > Anastasia > > > From: " maccdls " <maccdls@y...> > > Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls > > Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 11:13:20 -0000 > > To: Autism_in_Girls > > Subject: Re: anastasia > > > > Hi Anastasia. I have a question you may be able to help me with. My > > daughter absolutely hates having her hair brushed. Hair cuts are a > > nightmare for her. She says that it makes her feel cold.? Any ideas > > on how I can make this easier for her? > > > > > > Mom to Mackenzie (8 yrs old CdLS + Asperger's or PDD) > > > > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > ------------------------ > > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 Anastasia, I just wanted to write and thank you for your insightful comments. You started off addressing a mundane topic like hairbrushing, (which I also have massive problems with my 4 1/2 year old autistic daughter) and ended up giving some wonderful advice on raising autistic daughters to be responsible beings with a sense of control over their lives'. I will save your post and refer to it whenever I need a sense of perspective! What's interesting is that we were having terrible luck potty-training my Ellie, and it was only when we let her have control of the situation that we had a complete turn-around in her behavior. Not only that but in order to get that control she had to respond to our questions, " Do you have to go potty " ? For the first time ever she began nodding or shaking her head to answer a question. It's like she realized that in order to get us to stop dragging her to the toilet every half and hour she had to enter our world and start communicating with us. It was a pretty major breakthrough in my view and all because we let her have some control over her life. She's such a smart cookie, we just have to let her shine in her own way! Someone like you can be such a helpful resource to parents of autistic daughters--thank you for your thoughts! Sharon Castellanos, mom of Ellie, 4 1/2 > RE: Brushing Hair > > Well I can relate. Hair is a problem. Brushing, combing, washing or > cutting. The truth is I don't think about it, unless something as to be > done to it. I have thick wavy hair which presently is pretty short, sort of > a Beatles length. I do depend on it for warmth I guess, which is why the > haircut is sort of like wearing a hat. I wear hats all the time. For > protection I call it, somehow it makes me feel safer. I try to remember to > brush my hair when I brush my teeth in th morning, otherwise I would > completely forget, and it will be all wild and mussed up and I wouldn't know > because I never look at myself in the mirror the rest of the day. The kind > of hairbrush is very important. Most feel very scratchy. I like the ones > with plastic bristles that have tiny knobs on the end. Combs are bad because > they pull. Particularly if I got behind on brushing. > > The main thing, is to put her charge of the process. I would sugget having > your daughter try different kinds of brushes, maybe family members' brushes. > selecting a type of brush that doesn't hurt, maybe going shopping for hair > stuff she picks out, favorite color brush > > I have to force my self to wash it since I don't like baths and showers > except for relaxing but I know it has to be done. If my hair was any longer > I would have to do something more with it that wash and wear. When I was > younger I had long hair, which I had in braids like an Indian and being into > that, it worked out for a long time. Braids keep hair cleaner and needing > less brushing, and give waves when you undo them. When I got to be older > there was a lot of pressure from others to look more stylish and have a > hairdo which was longer, but that was a disaster, I didn't brush it enough > and it got all tangled and I got stuff in it and the only thing to do was > cut it all off into a short cut at the beauty parlor which was like being > punished. I was supposed to feel compensated because I got a permanent but I > hated it mainly because I didn't look like me. That was always the most > traumatic thing, not to look like me -- since I was barely here as it was, > if I didn't look the same, I felt like I was disolving. So I fiercely > defended things like what color I would wear just to keep some control. > > Anyway, as far as haircuts, most beauty shops have books to look at with > possible hairstyles they could give you. Have your daughter look at the > pictures and pick a style she likes. If she goes with something too hard to > maintain, or too extreme, remind her of the upkeep. Chances are she'll > recognize a look as being " her " . Help her deal with the outside pushes to > conform - ask for her imput and support her choices. Maybe make the hair > events, brushing, washing, cutting etc. something the two of you do > together? Try to find out what exactly is the problem? Maybe try fragrant > or dry shampoo, tangle free cream rinses. Maybe a nightcap to wear for > sleeping if she feels chilled. > > Always try to let your daughter " own " or at least understand the experiences > that are happening to her or demands that society makes on everyone. Don't > just make rules or say because I say so. Some things she may not ever > understand or just won't care about. So just stick to what really really > matters, the bare minimum, but hint that some people find a whole hidden > world there. Beyond that, support her own decisions and creativity, try to > open doors of possibility for her that are closed for no good reason other > than convention. Having control and being able to make decisions and have > decisions be respected is very important for being able to get along in the > world which seems so different, inexplicable and unreasonable to us most of > the time. > > She may never care about hair styles. That doen't mean she won't look good, > get married, write a book or become a rocket scientist. Rocket scientists > do have to get hair cuts and keep their hair brushed. Maybe the scientific > approach would help - we have hair and we have to take care of it. It > needs to get washed, brushed and trimmed once in a while to be healthy, like > fingernails. It keeps growing and it can get disorganized, which doesn't > feel good or look good, so we have to neaten it up once in a while. It's > part of living on earth! Gotta do it. People's (and pets) hair needs to be > exercised, sometimes trimmed. My dog - a husky -brushes his own hair on the > shrubbery. Birds preen their feathers. etc. Maybe you can get a book > about hair. and fur, feathers, etc. You could delegate brushing the dog or > cat to her who will probably enjoy the attention. Try to show the positive > aspects of tasks with actions, stories, and other 3D activities, help her to > find a reason she wants to do it, something enjoyable about it, or at least > something to make it a little bit fun - colorful barrettes or ribbons, learn > to make braids or even silly hair styles in yours and her hair, brush > everyone else's hair in the family.. You might also relate brushing hair > with petting the cat or dog, as in getting a massage on the head. You might > show her how to run her fingers through her hair for a massage. (Probably > the original comb.) > > Well I hope this helps. I can't think of anything else. > Good Luck !! > > Anastasia > > > From: " maccdls " <maccdls@y...> > > Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls > > Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 11:13:20 -0000 > > To: Autism_in_Girls > > Subject: Re: anastasia > > > > Hi Anastasia. I have a question you may be able to help me with. My > > daughter absolutely hates having her hair brushed. Hair cuts are a > > nightmare for her. She says that it makes her feel cold.? Any ideas > > on how I can make this easier for her? > > > > > > Mom to Mackenzie (8 yrs old CdLS + Asperger's or PDD) > > > > > > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > > ------------------------ > > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 Re: hair maintence Hi, I have a 16 year old daughter with autism, and she just in the past 6 months will comb her hair after using the restroom. Jenna had more of an issue with being able to really " scrub " her head to lather up the soap, she would just rub her hands over her head, which does not help with getting it clean.till have to remind her to take a shower, which is getting old for me, I am waiting for the day where she will just notice that she need a shower on her own! Have tried different scheldules over the years, but cannot find anything magical. She is verbal, and does really well but is not considered aspergers. She has had her monthly cycles now for almost 2 years and does great, so much better than anticipated, about a year before she started the OT suggessted we " practice " and we started her getting used to the feel of wearing pads. She now takes her purse to school just like all the other girls. I am so glad I found this site, it seems very helpful to lots of people. Jane RE: Brushing Hair Well I can relate. Hair is a problem. Brushing, combing, washing or cutting. The truth is I don't think about it, unless something as to be done to it. I have thick wavy hair which presently is pretty short, sort of a Beatles length. I do depend on it for warmth I guess, which is why the haircut is sort of like wearing a hat. I wear hats all the time. For protection I call it, somehow it makes me feel safer. I try to remember to brush my hair when I brush my teeth in th morning, otherwise I would completely forget, and it will be all wild and mussed up and I wouldn't know because I never look at myself in the mirror the rest of the day. The kind of hairbrush is very important. Most feel very scratchy. I like the ones with plastic bristles that have tiny knobs on the end. Combs are bad because they pull. Particularly if I got behind on brushing. The main thing, is to put her charge of the process. I would sugget having your daughter try different kinds of brushes, maybe family members' brushes. selecting a type of brush that doesn't hurt, maybe going shopping for hair stuff she picks out, favorite color brush I have to force my self to wash it since I don't like baths and showers except for relaxing but I know it has to be done. If my hair was any longer I would have to do something more with it that wash and wear. When I was younger I had long hair, which I had in braids like an Indian and being into that, it worked out for a long time. Braids keep hair cleaner and needing less brushing, and give waves when you undo them. When I got to be older there was a lot of pressure from others to look more stylish and have a hairdo which was longer, but that was a disaster, I didn't brush it enough and it got all tangled and I got stuff in it and the only thing to do was cut it all off into a short cut at the beauty parlor which was like being punished. I was supposed to feel compensated because I got a permanent but I hated it mainly because I didn't look like me. That was always the most traumatic thing, not to look like me -- since I was barely here as it was, if I didn't look the same, I felt like I was disolving. So I fiercely defended things like what color I would wear just to keep some control. Anyway, as far as haircuts, most beauty shops have books to look at with possible hairstyles they could give you. Have your daughter look at the pictures and pick a style she likes. If she goes with something too hard to maintain, or too extreme, remind her of the upkeep. Chances are she'll recognize a look as being " her " . Help her deal with the outside pushes to conform - ask for her imput and support her choices. Maybe make the hair events, brushing, washing, cutting etc. something the two of you do together? Try to find out what exactly is the problem? Maybe try fragrant or dry shampoo, tangle free cream rinses. Maybe a nightcap to wear for sleeping if she feels chilled. Always try to let your daughter " own " or at least understand the experiences that are happening to her or demands that society makes on everyone. Don't just make rules or say because I say so. Some things she may not ever understand or just won't care about. So just stick to what really really matters, the bare minimum, but hint that some people find a whole hidden world there. Beyond that, support her own decisions and creativity, try to open doors of possibility for her that are closed for no good reason other than convention. Having control and being able to make decisions and have decisions be respected is very important for being able to get along in the world which seems so different, inexplicable and unreasonable to us most of the time. She may never care about hair styles. That doen't mean she won't look good, get married, write a book or become a rocket scientist. Rocket scientists do have to get hair cuts and keep their hair brushed. Maybe the scientific approach would help - we have hair and we have to take care of it. It needs to get washed, brushed and trimmed once in a while to be healthy, like fingernails. It keeps growing and it can get disorganized, which doesn't feel good or look good, so we have to neaten it up once in a while. It's part of living on earth! Gotta do it. People's (and pets) hair needs to be exercised, sometimes trimmed. My dog - a husky -brushes his own hair on the shrubbery. Birds preen their feathers. etc. Maybe you can get a book about hair. and fur, feathers, etc. You could delegate brushing the dog or cat to her who will probably enjoy the attention. Try to show the positive aspects of tasks with actions, stories, and other 3D activities, help her to find a reason she wants to do it, something enjoyable about it, or at least something to make it a little bit fun - colorful barrettes or ribbons, learn to make braids or even silly hair styles in yours and her hair, brush everyone else's hair in the family.. You might also relate brushing hair with petting the cat or dog, as in getting a massage on the head. You might show her how to run her fingers through her hair for a massage. (Probably the original comb.) Well I hope this helps. I can't think of anything else. Good Luck !! Anastasia > > Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls > Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 11:13:20 -0000 > To: Autism_in_Girls > Subject: Re: anastasia > > Hi Anastasia. I have a question you may be able to help me with. My > daughter absolutely hates having her hair brushed. Hair cuts are a > nightmare for her. She says that it makes her feel cold.? Any ideas > on how I can make this easier for her? > > > Mom to Mackenzie (8 yrs old CdLS + Asperger's or PDD) > > > > > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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