Re: How to handle death....

[Guest guest]

My lovely wife forgot to mention that the pig was only 3 months old. My

sister had to put her dog of 17 years down. We prepared Abby for it and she

handled it well. I think it was confusing that Gus died so young. Later in the

evening of the day that Gus (our pig) died. Abby said I hate the pit. 'what

pit?'. 'the one Gus is in, I hate when animals die.' Abby said. I told her

that I hate it too. She seems to be handling it better today.

We have 2 female pigs and one male. Needless to say we get babies which Abby

loves. 'Gus-Gus' was the only baby we kept. We give the others away. Gus

never did grow fast or gain much weight. pennie also forgot to say it was her

favorite of the 'rodents' (pennie says she doesn't like the 'rodents') cause it

was the runt of the group. she fed it 1st in the morning before the others.

we will all miss little Gus-Gus. i just hope Abby doesn't start to worry a

lot about the truth that sometime people get sick and die young.

At lest we have one good peace of news. we go on vacation to up-north in

Sept. In Michigan up-north is one word and is not just a place but a state of

mind, and its not-up north till you see the mighty 'Mac' bridge.

Sorry for babbling on and on.

Abby's daddy

[Guest guest]

Poor Abby. I'm sorry for her loss.

My best,

How to handle death....

> Today one of Abby's Guniea Pigs died. She handled it very well, she

> was only upset when buried the pig in the backyard. But only

> when patted the dirt with the shoval she got upset and

> said " Dont hurt her " . I have no idea how to explain death, or death

> caused by sickness. She seems to think that only animals die and not

> people. While I would like her to have somewhat of an understanding I

> dont want her to live in fear or freak her out. I dont want her to

> think that just because you get sick that you would die. Anyone have

> any ideas of how to explain death in a simple manner? I have

> exhausted all that I could come up with. In a way its good that she

> doesnt understand death, that means that she has not been hurt by it

> (as far as loosing a person.) Any suggestions would be appreciated?

>

> Pennie

> Abby's Mom

>

>

>

>

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> ------------------------

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>

[Guest guest]

It's tough to explain certain concepts

especially when NT adults don't always have the same answer

Lara is so big on schedules and calenders and road maps

so life is just one big schedule she tries to understand

I've had to answer things like:

when are you a baby?

when do you stop being a baby and become a little kid?

when do you stop being a little kid and become a big kid?

when do you become a teenager?

when do you stop being a teenager and become and adult?

when do you get old?

when do you get VERY old?

when do you die?

mind you she has to have a definite age or she will never stop asking!

I didn't want her to be afraid that she might die soon, so I told her that some

people could live to be 125 (if you believe some of the yogurt commercials). So

one day at school a male teacher came into her room and Lara asked how old he

was. He thought he would be funny and told her he was 99 years old. She looked

at him very seriously and told him that he would die soon! Boy was he

surprised. /// She asked a girl at the schoolyard how old she was and she said

4, so Lara told her she was a little girl. The little girl but her hands on her

hips and said " no I'm not, I'm a BIG girl!(because her mother always tells her

what a BIG girl she is! And so they argued back and forth until I could pull

Lara away.///My father passed away some years ago and I told her that Grandpa

went to Heaven - so she wanted to know what exit number Heaven was off

the expressway! If any one knows the exit number please let me know.///Lara's

typical social questions upon meeting some one n

ew are 1- how old are you? 2 - when is your birthday? 3 - what school are you

in? 4 - what room number? 5 - what's your house number6 - what exit number are

you (off the expressway)7 - when will you die?///

Everything always has to be black and white - not always so easy to explain the

gray or theory or concepts

Loren

Single dad to Lara (12 m-hfa)Josh (13 NT)

Long Island

How to handle death....

> Today one of Abby's Guniea Pigs died. She handled it very well, she

> was only upset when buried the pig in the backyard. But only

> when patted the dirt with the shoval she got upset and

> said " Dont hurt her " . I have no idea how to explain death, or death

> caused by sickness. She seems to think that only animals die and not

> people. While I would like her to have somewhat of an understanding I

> dont want her to live in fear or freak her out. I dont want her to

> think that just because you get sick that you would die. Anyone have

> any ideas of how to explain death in a simple manner? I have

> exhausted all that I could come up with. In a way its good that she

> doesnt understand death, that means that she has not been hurt by it

> (as far as loosing a person.) Any suggestions would be appreciated?

>

> Pennie

> Abby's Mom

>

>

>

>

> Autism_in_Girls-subscribe

> ------------------------

> Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe

>

[Guest guest]

I had to smile at Loren's post... my daughter is exactly like this.

Her opening line to people as they come into our home is " What time

are you leaving? " I have not been able to break this habit so have

resorted to explaining the fact that she doesn't want them to leave

but just likes to know what time everything is going to happen.

On the subject of talking to our kids about death, we recently lost a

rabbit and Ashlyn could not grasp the fact that he had actually died

and needed to be buried, she reacted in the same way you mentioned

Abby did... she was fine until we buried him and then she lost it!

Once that day passed and we discussed all of the details of death

(down to whether they have a bathroom in heaven) she has been fine.

I have found that she talks about death much more bluntly than anyone

else would. I think our kids have a hard, if not impossible, time

pairing the emotional and the factual side of things. I am not sure

that I have any great advice but I can tell you that, in my

daughter's case, talking about death did not make her fearful because

she doesn't understand the full range of emotions involved when

someone dies so she just needed to know the facts of " how it works "

to help ease her little mind.

mom to Ashlyn

> It's tough to explain certain concepts

> especially when NT adults don't always have the same answer

> Lara is so big on schedules and calenders and road maps

> so life is just one big schedule she tries to understand

> I've had to answer things like:

> when are you a baby?

> when do you stop being a baby and become a little kid?

> when do you stop being a little kid and become a big kid?

> when do you become a teenager?

> when do you stop being a teenager and become and adult?

> when do you get old?

> when do you get VERY old?

> when do you die?

> mind you she has to have a definite age or she will never stop

asking!

> I didn't want her to be afraid that she might die soon, so I told

her that some people could live to be 125 (if you believe some of the

yogurt commercials). So one day at school a male teacher came into

her room and Lara asked how old he was. He thought he would be funny

and told her he was 99 years old. She looked at him very seriously

and told him that he would die soon! Boy was he surprised. /// She

asked a girl at the schoolyard how old she was and she said 4, so

Lara told her she was a little girl. The little girl but her hands

on her hips and said " no I'm not, I'm a BIG girl!(because her mother

always tells her what a BIG girl she is! And so they argued back and

forth until I could pull Lara away.///My father passed away some

years ago and I told her that Grandpa went to Heaven - so she

wanted to know what exit number Heaven was off the expressway! If

any one knows the exit number please let me know.///Lara's typical

social questions upon meeting some one n

> ew are 1- how old are you? 2 - when is your birthday? 3 - what

school are you in? 4 - what room number? 5 - what's your house

number6 - what exit number are you (off the expressway)7 - when will

you die?///

> Everything always has to be black and white - not always so easy to

explain the gray or theory or concepts

> Loren

> Single dad to Lara (12 m-hfa)Josh (13 NT)

> Long Island

>

> How to handle death....

>

> > Today one of Abby's Guniea Pigs died. She handled it very well,

she

> > was only upset when buried the pig in the backyard. But only

> > when patted the dirt with the shoval she got upset and

> > said " Dont hurt her " . I have no idea how to explain death, or

death

> > caused by sickness. She seems to think that only animals die and

not

> > people. While I would like her to have somewhat of an

understanding I

> > dont want her to live in fear or freak her out. I dont want her

to

> > think that just because you get sick that you would die. Anyone

have

> > any ideas of how to explain death in a simple manner? I have

> > exhausted all that I could come up with. In a way its good that

she

> > doesnt understand death, that means that she has not been hurt by

it

> > (as far as loosing a person.) Any suggestions would be

appreciated?

> >

> > Pennie

> > Abby's Mom

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe

> > ------------------------

> > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe

> >