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, I think that you should go with your gut feeling of what to do. You

know your daughter best. My opinion about mainstreaming is that it needs to be

done when the child is ready. 4 years ago Abby would have NEVER been able to

handle a mainstream classroom. Now she is in one half the day and requesting-on

her own I might add, to have more time in the mainstream first grade.

Inclusion is a very controversial subject. I don't think there is actually a

right or

wrong answer to it. Both have advantages. A smaller classroom means more one

on one attention. To a child with sensory issues the hustle & bustle of a

mainstream classroom may just be to much. The sounds of 20 voices in a room is

much different from lets say 8 or 10. I just saw a VERY heated discussion of

this

on another list. We all feel passionate about different subjects, however my

opinion is that all views need to be respected and unless a child is being

harmed there is no reason to make a parent feel bad about the decision that they

are making for their child. Like I said before, there are advantages to both

Special Ed and inclusion. I just feel strongly that you and your child will

know what is right for you at the time. Your daughter sounds like she has

wonderful language that has developed, so does Abby. Trust me, she WILL let you

know

what she wants to do and what she is comfortable with. Abby is VERY vocal

about her likes and dislikes now. LOL! I wish you the best in whatever you

decide.

Pennie

Abby's Mom

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Ally just had her fourth birthday. She loves Dora the Explorer, so

we had a Dora party. She is starting preschool in a week or so,

which consists of four other autistic children of different

development levels. I am hoping after one year in the all autsitic

preschool class she can go to a regular preschool. I dont want her

to be segregated. But, I also do not want her to feel the pain of

being rejected by " regular kids. " We went to the pediatric dentist a

few weeks ago, and Ally kept saying hi to this little girl, who

looked at her like she was crazy. As is the reaction from other

children who do not understand why she behaves different then them.

Any advise about this??? Is mainstreaming better or special ed? She

has made a ton of progress over the last few months. A year ago she

was nonverbal and had many auditory sensativities, which made her

scream a high pitched screeeeaaaammmm. Now, she has several hundred

words, copes with her sensativities better and is following simple

directions. Most of the time she is a very happy little girl,

although I see her pain when she tries to play with other children

and some of them reject her. Some of them play with her and it makes

her so happy. My heart breaks when i think of how I would feel with

such social rejection in life. So, I am torn on what to do regarding

school, in the future. Right now, its special ed. But, what about

the rest of her life. She will have to face a normal society. Any

advise would be helpful.

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---Thats a tough call. I can only tell you of our experiences and

what I chose to do. The best thing I ever did was put her into a full-

time daycare where she was in a group of 8 NT children at 4. She made

a 90 degree turn for the better in every area of development. Her

social skills, speech, beaviors all changed for the better. I

believed that the best role models were NT children and not in the

special ed class I had her in. In fact she was scared, shy and

practically non-verbal there. Thinking that that was the best place

for her, I couldn't bare the strictness of the educators, and I truly

believed it wasn't doing her any good but more harm being there. She

is pdd-nos/adhd, very high-functionning with attention being her

biggest deficit. I'm not talking about anyother child but my own. She

has always been in the public school system and has always been many

years behind her peers socially and it was never apparent until she

turned 8 or 9 . She attends social skill group on the weekend to

learn how to socialize properly because like your daughter she would

still go up and hug someone but only now it isn't acceptable anymore

and she has learned to suppress that when greeting people. But my dd

is shy and she realizes that she is different and tries very hard to

be like the other girls. My own opinion for my daughter is the best

is being with NT children, they are the best role models for learning

proper social skills.

In Autism_in_Girls , " MARK SOMMERFELD "

<cmsommerfeld@i...> wrote:

> It is a hard road dealing with our kids.......trying to decide what

is best

> for them. You must realise though, that what you see as " pain "

sometimes to

> you, may not necessarily be pain to your daughter. I used to go

home from

> school in tears, when i would hear kids snigger at my daughter, and

pull

> faces behind her back at times. As she gets old, she is now 9, i

have to

> understand, that most of the time, she doesn;t even realise what

teasing

> is..........and what being rejected is..she will go up and try to

hug

> someone, and they look at her funny, or want to hold their hand,

and when

> she was small that was acceptable, now it isn;t, so i must try and

direct

> her not too.........but to her, that is her way of showing..... " i

like

> you " .......i just simply try and put myself in her shoes now when

dealing

> with school.......and it really does help......my daughters

cognitive is

> still so behind it isn;t funny...................as time goes on,

you will

> begin to see things, and know how to respond....you might not think

so

> now..............but you will. All the best, CherylS

> Ally

>

>

> > Ally just had her fourth birthday. She loves Dora the Explorer,

so

> > we had a Dora party. She is starting preschool in a week or so,

> > which consists of four other autistic children of different

> > development levels. I am hoping after one year in the all

autsitic

> > preschool class she can go to a regular preschool. I dont want

her

> > to be segregated. But, I also do not want her to feel the pain of

> > being rejected by " regular kids. " We went to the pediatric

dentist a

> > few weeks ago, and Ally kept saying hi to this little girl, who

> > looked at her like she was crazy. As is the reaction from other

> > children who do not understand why she behaves different then

them.

> > Any advise about this??? Is mainstreaming better or special ed?

She

> > has made a ton of progress over the last few months. A year ago

she

> > was nonverbal and had many auditory sensativities, which made her

> > scream a high pitched screeeeaaaammmm. Now, she has several

hundred

> > words, copes with her sensativities better and is following simple

> > directions. Most of the time she is a very happy little girl,

> > although I see her pain when she tries to play with other children

> > and some of them reject her. Some of them play with her and it

makes

> > her so happy. My heart breaks when i think of how I would feel

with

> > such social rejection in life. So, I am torn on what to do

regarding

> > school, in the future. Right now, its special ed. But, what

about

> > the rest of her life. She will have to face a normal society.

Any

> > advise would be helpful.

> >

> >

> > Autism_in_Girls-subscribe

> > ------------------------

> > Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe

> >

> >

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