Re: a strange dream, & another job optio

[Guest guest]

Kim--it sounds like you are turning a corner, and that's exciting--good for

you. I also had one of those weather migraines this Saturday--had to go to

bed for a few hours.

I like the idea of this whole healthy living decision being easy. Why can't

it be easy to choose what's best for us, like regular activity and whole

foods? What if it was just effortless--we made those choices by default

because we wanted what was nourishing and healing to us? And why couldn't it

be like this? Can we change our paradigm?

> I 'survived' my stepmother's Christmas party, in part because she

> doesn't usually put out junk food, but all homemade healthier foods, mostly

> cooked in olive oil.

>

> Also, I was recovering from a powerful " weather " migraine (barometric

> pressure), so I wasn't all that hungry. I didn't eat much all day yesterday.

>

> Last night, I had a very strange dream. Suddenly I fit into my " old jeans "

> -- which is strange, because I don't have any of my old jeans. But they were

> my pre-pregnancy jeans that i haven't fit into in at least 5 years. In the

> dream I realized that my clothes were looser, so I tried on my jeans and

> they fit perfectly. I went out to run errands and feel good in my 'new'

> look, feeling light and free and able to do anything I wanted to. I saw two

> mothers from my daughter's school, and I walked up to them to say hi, and

> said that I had lost the weight suddenly, and I fit into my old jeans again.

> They are mothers who are very active with the school, they have good jobs

> and and are socially accepted. They also don't usually talk to me - most

> parents at my 9yo's school don't talk much to me. They were congratulating

> me and telling me how great I looked. I remembered that the jeans I was

> wearing, still had the hole by the one back pocket, and I remembered that

> years ago, I was

> going to buy a new pair of jeans that weren't ripped. I also remembered

> how I was looking into belts at the time because even those jeans were loose

> on me, but my hip bones would not allow for a smaller size. (I come from a

> line of hippy women, it's not just fat, we are all curvy with wide

> pelvises.) And I realized that i could feel my hip bones and I remember in

> the dream feeling how great all of this felt and how good I felt about

> myself.

>

> I had my old energy back, nothing hurt, I looked fabulous, my husband was

> proud of me and showing off his " trophy wife " again, and I was out in the

> community and handling lots of responsibility, working with a lot of parents

> and kids, and food was only a forethought .... I turned down the food that I

> knew wasn't good for me, that would not contribute to this wonderful weight

> I had achieved, and I ate smaller portions mealtime, ate when I was hungry,

> stopped when I was full, and ate fish, lean chicken, vegetables and very few

> carbs.

>

> Yes, this was all in one dream - it was like looking at a blueprint for a

> destination. Definitely one of the strangest dreams I've ever had. But oddly

> realistic, as if I'm already there in my mind, now just waiting for my body

> to catch up.

>

> But my body ... also strange ... I AM fitting into my clothes better. I'm

> wearing a shirt today that used to be tighter around my stomach and hips.

> It's not gaping, but it's looser and is more comfortable now. My pants are

> easier to fit into.

>

> This morning I was thinking that I weighed myself once for this month ...

> I think I'll wait until next month to weigh again. Weight can fluctuate a

> lot from day to day and even from week to week -- I'd rather get a " month

> overview " instead.

>

> I don't really want to wait until March to join Curves, but that's when my

> location will waive their sign-up fee. Fitting in regular exercise time has

> become impossible now, but I can still work on my eating and family

> activities. Also, we've been having such frequent storms here ... seems

> whenever the barometric pressure starts dropping too much or changing too

> much, I get migraines that are harder to knock out. And the medicine makes

> me sleepy and draggy, but I need the medicine to help keep me from getting

> physically ill from the migraines.

>

> Today it's been 11 years since my mother died, and I'm wondering if my

> dream had anything to do with this anniversary of mine. My mother had many

> health problems, including being very overweight, she may have been diabetic

> (or borderline), and she did not take care of herself. Maybe my dream was

> showing me that I am heading in a better direction, and to keep doing what

> I'm doing. I need to be around for a long time for my little one's sake, and

> I don't want to die suddenly in my 50s and leave my 9yo on her own at 24 as

> it happened to me.

>

> I learned last night that my father is actually in favor me of returning

> to school for a CNA program, and he even told me of a hospital near them

> that trains student nurses to become LPNs and RNs (which is my plan). I was

> surprised at this - he so often disapproves of things I want to do, but he

> is being supportive of this.

>

> This message got broken up because my little one had a therapy session

> that I had canceled, but the SW didn't get the message. Ended up being a

> good thing, because we were discussing jobs and she asked me if I had ever

> considered working as a home health aide or simply working with the

> geriatric population. I told her that I have been told before that I work

> well with the elderly, and they do seem to like my presence, and I've taken

> care of elderly people before. I've also been involved in hospice situations

> and I understand the process of it. The SW told me that she thinks it would

> be a very good fit for me, that she'd look into training resources for me,

> and told me a few program options to consider.

>

> Well, I need to get going now.

>

> Kim

>

> Secretary, Holy Terrors S.T.A.R.S.

> http://www.freewebs.com/holyterrorstars

>

> ---------------------------------

> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

>

>

[Guest guest]

said - Why can't

it be easy to choose what's best for us, like regular activity and whole

foods? What if it was just effortless-- we made those choices by default

because we wanted what was nourishing and healing to us? And why couldn't it

be like this? Can we change our paradigm?

Yes - , I think you hit the nail right on the head! That is what

is wanting us to see and to get to - that it is easy! You are right that

we have to change our paradigm - another way to say it that works for me is that

we have to train our subconscious with the what we know in our consciousness.

First we have to believe at the consiousness level - like setting the intentions

and enjoying the progress - eventually I think we can change our subconsious so

that when dark days strike - and they will - we don't fall into those old

patterns. That, to me, is our goal. Too many times I have done Weight

Watchers, and various other methods - Atkins, meals delivered, etc., but once

that is done I go back to the same ole same ole - I never changed my belief

system - I really believe we can do this and when we do - it will be E A S Y - I

believe it - and and this group can help us get there.

Diane

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Diane,

Your post was exactly what I needed to see!

Falling back into old habits is just what I've done recently. Then I beat

myself up for falling off the wagon. Beating myself up makes me feel

miserable, and so I just fall deeper into those old habits.

Having found IOWL, , and this group, I feel like a drowning woman who

has just been thrown a life preserver.

Pat

_____

said - Why can't

it be easy to choose what's best for us, like regular activity and whole

foods? What if it was just effortless-- we made those choices by default

because we wanted what was nourishing and healing to us? And why couldn't it

be like this? Can we change our paradigm?

Yes - , I think you hit the nail right on the head! That is what

is wanting us to see and to get to - that it is easy! You are right

that we have to change our paradigm - another way to say it that works for

me is that we have to train our subconscious with the what we know in our

consciousness. First we have to believe at the consiousness level - like

setting the intentions and enjoying the progress - eventually I think we can

change our subconsious so that when dark days strike - and they will - we

don't fall into those old patterns. That, to me, is our goal. Too many times

I have done Weight Watchers, and various other methods - Atkins, meals

delivered, etc., but once that is done I go back to the same ole same ole -

I never changed my belief system - I really believe we can do this and when

we do - it will be E A S Y - I believe it - and and this group can

help us get there.

Diane