Interesting ... progress?

[Guest guest]

For the heck of it, I decided to get on the scale this morning. It's a digital

scale, because my overworked eyes can't read those dial scales.

First it was on the rug (toddler moved it there), so I tried it there figuring

I'd get some bizarre number and have a good laugh over it. Nope - it showed me

weighing two pounds less than I had before.

So I moved it to the linoleum floor of the kitchen. Same reading.

I'm keeping the number in mind, but not getting too excited (yet). I've seen

this before, where the number goes down a few notches, then rides back up again.

Except that this time, I've had NO TIME to exercise or do anything other than

run errands and clean a lot (scrubbing the kitchen floor from the dog being

sick, changing the bed sheets nearly every day from my toddler, cooking, etc.).

The only real change in the last two weeks -- is my diet. I've included eggs,

some chicken, and some fish again -- upped my protein and lowered and changed my

carb intake. And I'm trying to drink more water than usual.

Otherwise, nada. Oh, I've listened to an Anatomy & Physiology podcast in spurts

to help myself prepare to return to school for a nursing program. And I've been

getting more involved in other activities that benefit my children and that I

personally have a strong interest in, and feel that I have much to offer.

(Thinking about my previously stated goal of making food just a PART of my life

rather than a focus, so that I can focus my energy on what I really want to do.)

So I'll keep an eye on the scale -- occasionally -- to see if my loss of two

pounds continues. I hope it does. But I'm trying not to think about it too much.

I was thinking about the post discussing using the scale as A tool, not THE

tool. You made a good point with that and it got me thinking more about it. I

had never looked at it that way before - the scale was always the enemy, not an

opinion.

Oddly enough, one offshoot of my feeling " thinner " recently is that I don't feel

quite as self-conscious about chasing after my little one to scoop her up before

she collides with another child or darts out into the street, or climbs up on a

table or stacks chairs to reach a no-no cabinet. A thought goes through my mind

of " I hope no one's seeing my fat butt right now " or hoping that my pants aren't

bunching in the wrong places ... and lately I don't feel that as much. My

clothes are large and long, so they come down lower, which makes me feel more

comfortable. I dress to hide myself and always have. I don't like being " looked "

at because it makes me feel like I'm being analyzed and criticized. And the

activities I'm getting involved in, and being the secretary of a growing sports

group for children with special needs -- I'm " out in front " more than ever

before, and it's uncomfortable, but it's necessary for me to do what I want to

do.

I thought about 's podcasts and how I tend to sabotage myself when I have a

small success, by getting lax and thinking that I'm doing well now, so I have

some " wiggle room " . I probably won't have time to listen to those podcasts again

any time soon, but I'll prepare myself for tomorrow's Christmas party at my

stepmother's home (lots of homemade food, delicious Old World Italian cooking).

I just received a book in the mail on the Protein Power LifePlan -- I can't

follow anything exactly because my lifestyle is always in flux, but I use

guidelines, tips, and suggestions on planning meals and preparing for schedule

changes.

I " seem " to be doing better on with more protein and less carbs. I know that my

energy is better, and my energy lasts longer with fewer mood swings. And I've

been through some rather heavy-duty situations recently with evaluations for my

little one, a bad situation with my in-laws that recently developed over my

little one's difficulties, and the holiday season which is staring me down now.

I AM eating more consciously. I am planning to sign up with Curves in March. I

do still slip up (ate potato chips yesterday, but had Italian wedding soup with

it), but when I slip up, it's not the all-out blow-out " eat a family-size bag of

chips " or an entire bowl of french fries like I used to do. I can eat some

(sometimes more than I should), and stop when I've had enough. That is progress

for me!

Thank you, -- and thank you, group! I may " get there yet " !

Kim

Secretary, Holy Terrors S.T.A.R.S.

http://www.freewebs.com/holyterrorstars

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