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Re: Getting stuck

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I used to push through the bathroom door. He could come out

okay, going in he might " stick. " For some other things, that " gentle

pull " might work, but sometimes when I tried it I made things worse.

Live and learn!

>

> Hi all,

>

> I have seen comments about kids getting stuck. My son has to put a

> retainer on at night. He washes it, but I think he would wash it and

> fall asleep in the sink if I didn't put a time limit on it. I count

> back from 5 and then he puts it on. Shower too. When it's time, I

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So often when our son gets stuck, it is due to him not being able to

start. He had doubts if he is starting right, so can't start at all.

And he HAS to do it right. . . Everything is black and white with

OCD, no gray area, no in-between. So, if he doubts the absolute right

way, then he has trouble moving forward at all. When you see them

struggle with doubts, you understand why it's called the doubting

disease. Then you add " just right " OCD in, and it needs to feel a

certain way too.

Don't know if that is your son's problem, but thought I would share

what we've dealt with.

Medication seems to have helped make it less bothersome for him, but

it's still there.

BJ

>

> Hi all,

>

> I have seen comments about kids getting stuck. My son has to put a

> retainer on at night. He washes it, but I think he would wash it and

> fall asleep in the sink if I didn't put a time limit on it. I count

> back from 5 and then he puts it on. Shower too. When it's time, I

> count back from 5 then it's done.

>

> My daughter gets stuck too. She'll say " help " and then she is willing

> to walk away from whatever with a gentle pull away from whatever.

>

> Hopefully, over time they will be able to " unstuck " themselves.

>

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I know what you mean about black and white.  Even after we knew our oldest had

OCD, we didn't undertand that the black and white was related to that..  We see

the doubting and the need for reassurance that it is " right " .  Good enough is

not acceptable.  Neither is " it's ok " .

He still asks the reassurance questions and they have to be answered correctly. 

He also asks them multiple times and sometimes in different ways to see that he

gets the same anser.  Sometimes he laughs about it, but still does it. 

Depending on how he feels at the moment he is willing to let it go a little.  I

think I'm seeing a window of opportunity where we might be able to work on it.

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wednesday, January 7, 2009 2:35:53 AM

Subject: Re: Getting stuck

So often when our son gets stuck, it is due to him not being able to

start. He had doubts if he is starting right, so can't start at all.

And he HAS to do it right. . . Everything is black and white with

OCD, no gray area, no in-between. So, if he doubts the absolute right

way, then he has trouble moving forward at all. When you see them

struggle with doubts, you understand why it's called the doubting

disease. Then you add " just right " OCD in, and it needs to feel a

certain way too.

Don't know if that is your son's problem, but thought I would share

what we've dealt with.

Medication seems to have helped make it less bothersome for him, but

it's still there.

BJ

>

> Hi all,

>

> I have seen comments about kids getting stuck. My son has to put a

> retainer on at night. He washes it, but I think he would wash it and

> fall asleep in the sink if I didn't put a time limit on it. I count

> back from 5 and then he puts it on. Shower too. When it's time, I

> count back from 5 then it's done.

>

> My daughter gets stuck too. She'll say " help " and then she is willing

> to walk away from whatever with a gentle pull away from whatever.

>

> Hopefully, over time they will be able to " unstuck " themselves.

>

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Share on other sites

We are new to OCD and this group.

Our 10 yr old seems to " get stuck " this way: She has a script that she only she

is aware of that we need to follow. If we don't do or say the right things or if

things do not go as she has it " scripted " she becomes irate and cries

inconsolably. This can go on for hours. The problem is during these times she

says she can not be alone because she needs to be with someone. We can meet

her/?OCD's " needs " sometimes by doing or saying the right thing. It is so

frustrating because you want to walk away to keep it form escalating but she

will follow you sobbing that she can't be alone begging you to do something or

say something. It appears she is not even sure of what this something is at

times. Then there are times when she asks for something to be done that doesn't

seem to be part of a ritual and we do not meet it and she has the same response.

She just won't let things go. If she believes it should be a certain way then

there is no changing her mind or redirecting her. This happened in a store today

and I just felt so frustrated because everyone thinks you do not have control

over your 10 year old " brat " . Obviously, in a store you just need to leave (now

you have to find a new time to run your errand) but once we were in the car and

home it continued. This is where I try to walk away and say this your OCD

talking but she just follows. But when I do question what is OCD and what is

not?? She was diagnosed when she would not go to sleep until we all had done as

she requested, kiss her in a certain order, I lay with her a certain number of

minutes, etc.. and if this was not done right or interrupted she would become

unglued and we would have to start again. When I finally ask why does it have to

be this way she stated that " Dad kisses me, then her DB, the I lay with her,

then I turn on the fan, then she checks the door, then she takes 45 sips of h2o,

then she flips her pillow 3 times then she counts to ten and then she places her

body pillow on her and her blanket behind her. Light bulb moment. She has always

been very " black and white " and appeared very driven and difficult to redirect.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? She was seeing a therapist but he did not

have any experience with children with OCD.

We have an appointment next Tuesday for CBT and ERP. Any suggestions before

then.

Getting stuck

Hi all,

I have seen comments about kids getting stuck. My son has to put a

retainer on at night. He washes it, but I think he would wash it and

fall asleep in the sink if I didn't put a time limit on it. I count

back from 5 and then he puts it on. Shower too. When it's time, I

count back from 5 then it's done.

My daughter gets stuck too. She'll say " help " and then she is willing

to walk away from whatever with a gentle pull away from whatever.

Hopefully, over time they will be able to " unstuck " themselves.

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>>Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Yup!

I think every kid has their " bedtime ritual " but our OCD kids can just go

bonkers when we mess with their routines, can't they!? It's hard to say

where the normal childhood rituals end and the OCD takes over.

Beth

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