Re: 7-yr.old

[Guest guest]

Hi Martha,

 

Welcome to the group!  This is only the first day I've posted, and I already

feel less alone. I am new to this support group, and my 8 year old daughter's

diagnosis of OCD. Interesting, she does this same " equalizing " of blinks and

movements, and recently the curse words have been an issue with us as well. She

asks if its okay to just think them in her mind, or just whisper them, but it's

obviously become an obsession. If this is yet another tie in to OCD, you just

helped me identify that...although I have no idea how to help our kids yet. I'm

also waiting for books on order!

 

But you said " the confessions themselves are an issue " ; may I ask what you meant

by that?

Thanks, and I feel certain we can all find help here in this community.

~

Subject: 7-yr.old

To:

Date: Wednesday, December 31, 2008, 2:39 PM

Hi,

My name is Martha and I have a 7-yr.old son who has been recently

diagnosed with OCD. I'm trying to educate myself to be a better parent

and to recognize these OCD thoughts when they happen. The reason we

went to the Psychologist in the first place was because he was making

everything equal. (If he looked left, he had to look right, etc.) The

second thing he has done was being obsessed with curse words and

needing to confess to me that he was thinking about them. I didn't

recognize this as OCD and simply thought he was acting like a 7-year-

old boy who has learned about curse words. It was so frustrating to me

that he just couldn't stop it. He is very honest and tells on himself

even if he doesn't get caught.(such as talking in class)so I never

suspected that the curse words were part of the OCD issue. I just

thought he was needing to feel better by confessing something he

thought was bad. I guess you can see why I need to learn much more

about OCD. Apparantly the confessions themselves are an issue.

I am still new to this and not sure what behaviors are OCD related and

what behaviors are just 7 year old boy behaviors. I have a lot to

learn. I have ordered some books for both of us to help understand

this new journey we are on. I will also be looking at the links. Any

other advice on where to start will be helpful.

Thanks,

Martha

[Guest guest]

Dear Martha

My 8 yr old son was similar. He would tell me everything he might have done bad

or even what his friends did. I thought this was great that he was being

responsible. But then he started confessing everything! He does have a problem

with thinking/saying oh my god and oh my gosh. his ocd tells him to do that even

though he doesn't want to this also lapse into other things as well. He also had

problems visualizing things such as naked people which really freaked him out. I

took him to a erp/cog behavior therapist we went for about 2-3 mo twice a week.

After that time frame he had the tools he needed to over come these things and

he seems to be doing great. At first it was a little scary for him.Even talking

to the therapist at first was hard for him. One thing she didto help him get

over the " oh my god " was have him say it a hundred times out loud over and over

again everyday. I wish you the best of luck. it is sad for our children to have

this but great

to catch it early and get it under control while they are young

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 2:39:20 PM

Subject: 7-yr.old

Hi,

My name is Martha and I have a 7-yr.old son who has been recently

diagnosed with OCD. I'm trying to educate myself to be a better parent

and to recognize these OCD thoughts when they happen. The reason we

went to the Psychologist in the first place was because he was making

everything equal. (If he looked left, he had to look right, etc.) The

second thing he has done was being obsessed with curse words and

needing to confess to me that he was thinking about them. I didn't

recognize this as OCD and simply thought he was acting like a 7-year-

old boy who has learned about curse words. It was so frustrating to me

that he just couldn't stop it. He is very honest and tells on himself

even if he doesn't get caught.(such as talking in class)so I never

suspected that the curse words were part of the OCD issue. I just

thought he was needing to feel better by confessing something he

thought was bad. I guess you can see why I need to learn much more

about OCD. Apparantly the confessions themselves are an issue.

I am still new to this and not sure what behaviors are OCD related and

what behaviors are just 7 year old boy behaviors. I have a lot to

learn. I have ordered some books for both of us to help understand

this new journey we are on. I will also be looking at the links. Any

other advice on where to start will be helpful.

Thanks,

Martha

[Guest guest]

>>But you said " the confessions themselves are an issue " ; may I ask what you

meant by that?

Some OCD kids have a " confession ritual " -- they have the need to tattle on

themselves. Oftentimes they aren't even guilty of the " crime " they are

confessing! A " wrong " or " bad " thought crosses their mind and they have to tell

you about it. Get it off their chest or off their conscience. Something along

those lines.

A lot of our kids are very black-and-white. Of course that is totally age

appropriate but their black-and-white thinking extends beyond the age when it is

no longer appropriate. They are rule followers and they see every little

transgression.

Kate is an amazing proof-reader and is constantly pointing out typos and

incorrect punctuation in books, newspaper and magazine articles. She has to

come show me every single one she finds (there are a LOT!). She also points out

anyone smoking or biking on the wrong side of the road or without a helmet.

Stuff like that. Part of it is age appropriate for a 9-year-old but a lot of it

is more appropriate for a 4- or 6-year-old. Like a lot of stuff we now see as

OCD we thought it was just at the edge of " normal " .

I think, though, that the " confession " thing can become ritual with many of our

kids. But it's hard to say where " normal " leaves off and " OCD " kicks in. We're

so happy to have a scrupulously honest 6-year-old but not so happy to have a

nit-picking tattle-tale 9-year-old!

Beth

[Guest guest]

My son does the confession thing. We tell him it is ok. We thought it was just a

phase. The worst is when he did it in a crowded dollar store.

" Mom, i think i might have stole something. " YIKES!!!! That one was a big

issue.

Jacquie

>

> Subject: Re: 7-yr.old

> To:

> Date: Wednesday, December 31, 2008, 6:00 PM

> >>But you said " the confessions themselves are an

> issue " ; may I ask what you meant by that?

>

> Some OCD kids have a " confession ritual " -- they

> have the need to tattle on themselves. Oftentimes they

> aren't even guilty of the " crime " they are

> confessing! A " wrong " or " bad " thought

> crosses their mind and they have to tell you about it. Get

> it off their chest or off their conscience. Something along

[Guest guest]

Hi Martha. My seven year old son also has ocd. His latest thing is saying bad

words, too! It's very frustrating as it seems that as soon as we get a handle

on one obsession, another one pops up.

My son also tells on himself. He deals with excessive guilt and so, I think he

needs the reassurance that we still love him, etc. no matter what. He has some

appointments set up for January and I'm hoping for improvement. I'm glad you

found this group. Stay in touch, ask lots of questions and know that you are

not alone.

Walk by Faith

Tyler

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 5:39:20 PM

Subject: 7-yr.old

Hi,

My name is Martha and I have a 7-yr.old son who has been recently

diagnosed with OCD. I'm trying to educate myself to be a better parent

and to recognize these OCD thoughts when they happen. The reason we

went to the Psychologist in the first place was because he was making

everything equal. (If he looked left, he had to look right, etc.) The

second thing he has done was being obsessed with curse words and

needing to confess to me that he was thinking about them. I didn't

recognize this as OCD and simply thought he was acting like a 7-year-

old boy who has learned about curse words. It was so frustrating to me

that he just couldn't stop it. He is very honest and tells on himself

even if he doesn't get caught.(such as talking in class)so I never

suspected that the curse words were part of the OCD issue. I just

thought he was needing to feel better by confessing something he

thought was bad. I guess you can see why I need to learn much more

about OCD. Apparantly the confessions themselves are an issue.

I am still new to this and not sure what behaviors are OCD related and

what behaviors are just 7 year old boy behaviors. I have a lot to

learn. I have ordered some books for both of us to help understand

this new journey we are on. I will also be looking at the links. Any

other advice on where to start will be helpful.

Thanks,

Martha

[Guest guest]

My son tells on himself. He confesses to me every little transgression

that happens at school, even if they are just in thoughts.(Example: I

thought bad words in math today.) If the teacher is writing names on

the board for children that were talking during a program in the

auditorium, he will tell on himself, even if he doesn't get caught. I

have wondered if he really talked or was doing this for some sort of

attention. I thought the confessions were some sort of way to get my

attention. (I am home with them when they are home so I find it hard to

believe he would need MORE of my attention.)

The therapist said he was wanting my reassurance that he's not bad.

While I understand this, what words do I say when he confesses? I need

a script in my head to have when these things happen until I get used

to dealing with the confessions(and other rituals.)

Thanks for the help.

Martha

>

> >>But you said " the confessions themselves are an issue " ; may I ask

what you meant by that?

>

> Some OCD kids have a " confession ritual " -- they have the need to

tattle on themselves. Oftentimes they aren't even guilty of

the " crime " they are confessing! A " wrong " or " bad " thought crosses

their mind and they have to tell you about it. Get it off their chest

or off their conscience. Something along those lines.-Beth

[Guest guest]

Some things I have read on confessions is setting a time limit as your child

would be allowed 5 confessions for the day and then slowly reducing the number.

With my son we gave OCD a funny name so he could dis associate it from himself

for my son we called it " purple monkey " he would tell me " purple monkey is

acting up again " . some tools are having your child talk back to it when my son

would have thoughts of bad words we would say the words out loud over and over

again a couple times a day for days and then they would start diminsh in his

head. Or he would talk back to purple monkey and say " purple monkey go jump in

lake " " purple monkey go fall in a bottomless pit " when he didn't want to do what

it was telling him to do. This helped him take control of the ocd.

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thursday, January 1, 2009 11:59:54 AM

Subject: Re: 7-yr.old

My son tells on himself. He confesses to me every little transgression

that happens at school, even if they are just in thoughts.(Example: I

thought bad words in math today.) If the teacher is writing names on

the board for children that were talking during a program in the

auditorium, he will tell on himself, even if he doesn't get caught. I

have wondered if he really talked or was doing this for some sort of

attention. I thought the confessions were some sort of way to get my

attention. (I am home with them when they are home so I find it hard to

believe he would need MORE of my attention.)

The therapist said he was wanting my reassurance that he's not bad.

While I understand this, what words do I say when he confesses? I need

a script in my head to have when these things happen until I get used

to dealing with the confessions( and other rituals.)

Thanks for the help.

Martha

>

> >>But you said " the confessions themselves are an issue " ; may I ask

what you meant by that?

>

> Some OCD kids have a " confession ritual " -- they have the need to

tattle on themselves. Oftentimes they aren't even guilty of

the " crime " they are confessing! A " wrong " or " bad " thought crosses

their mind and they have to tell you about it. Get it off their chest

or off their conscience. Something along those lines.-Beth

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the encouragement! It sounds as if our boys are very

similar. I'm glad to have found this group too. I think I've been

in denial thinking that if we conquered the equalizing that all would

be fine. Talk about sticking my head in the sand!

Questions:

Are high emotions a trait? Changes in routines bring tantrums. He

fell apart today because I said I was going to fix a sandwich, but

fixed chicken instead. I sent him to his room because he was

screaming at me. In his room, he was angry and yelling at the top of

his lungs while kicking his door. The reactions are not always this

bad, worse today because we were up late and he is tired as well.

What about sensory issues? He has rubbed my fingernails and smelled

my hair since he was 3. I attributed this to a comfort thing like

kids sucking their thumbs. He only wants to do this when he is tired

now and I don't allow it, yet he still tries.

Why do I feel as if I've opened pandora's box!

Martha

>

> Hi Martha. My seven year old son also has ocd. His latest thing

is saying bad words, too! It's very frustrating as it seems that as

soon as we get a handle on one obsession, another one pops up.

>

> My son also tells on himself. He deals with excessive guilt and

so, I think he needs the reassurance that we still love him, etc. no

matter what. He has some appointments set up for January and I'm

hoping for improvement. I'm glad you found this group. Stay in

touch, ask lots of questions and know that you are not alone.

>

>

> Walk by Faith

> Tyler

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 5:39:20 PM

> Subject: 7-yr.old

>

>

> Hi,

> My name is Martha and I have a 7-yr.old son who has been recently

> diagnosed with OCD. I'm trying to educate myself to be a better

parent

> and to recognize these OCD thoughts when they happen. The reason

we

> went to the Psychologist in the first place was because he was

making

> everything equal. (If he looked left, he had to look right, etc.)

The

> second thing he has done was being obsessed with curse words and

> needing to confess to me that he was thinking about them. I didn't

> recognize this as OCD and simply thought he was acting like a 7-

year-

> old boy who has learned about curse words. It was so frustrating to

me

> that he just couldn't stop it. He is very honest and tells on

himself

> even if he doesn't get caught.(such as talking in class)so I never

> suspected that the curse words were part of the OCD issue. I just

> thought he was needing to feel better by confessing something he

> thought was bad. I guess you can see why I need to learn much more

> about OCD. Apparantly the confessions themselves are an issue.

> I am still new to this and not sure what behaviors are OCD related

and

> what behaviors are just 7 year old boy behaviors. I have a lot to

> learn. I have ordered some books for both of us to help understand

> this new journey we are on. I will also be looking at the links.

Any

> other advice on where to start will be helpful.

> Thanks,

> Martha

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

All the things you mention (emotional outbursts, tantrums with changes in

routine or tiredness, sensory issues, etc) all seem to be pretty common among

our kids. Again, I don't know how much is OCD related and how much is just

considered normal kid stuff. But it does seem as if our kiddos have more than

their fair share of these traits!

Beth

7-yr.old

>

>

> Hi,

> My name is Martha and I have a 7-yr.old son who has been recently

> diagnosed with OCD. I'm trying to educate myself to be a better

parent

> and to recognize these OCD thoughts when they happen. The reason

we

> went to the Psychologist in the first place was because he was

making

> everything equal. (If he looked left, he had to look right, etc.)

The

> second thing he has done was being obsessed with curse words and

> needing to confess to me that he was thinking about them. I didn't

> recognize this as OCD and simply thought he was acting like a 7-

year-

> old boy who has learned about curse words. It was so frustrating to

me

> that he just couldn't stop it. He is very honest and tells on

himself

> even if he doesn't get caught.(such as talking in class)so I never

> suspected that the curse words were part of the OCD issue. I just

> thought he was needing to feel better by confessing something he

> thought was bad. I guess you can see why I need to learn much more

> about OCD. Apparantly the confessions themselves are an issue.

> I am still new to this and not sure what behaviors are OCD related

and

> what behaviors are just 7 year old boy behaviors. I have a lot to

> learn. I have ordered some books for both of us to help understand

> this new journey we are on. I will also be looking at the links.

Any

> other advice on where to start will be helpful.

> Thanks,

> Martha

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Martha. Deviating from routine, or something expected can cause

distress, and possible tantrums. OCD likes routine and structure.

When we deviate from what OCD wants, it causes anxiety for our kids.

It can cause them to get very emotional, while they try to appease the

OCD so they can stop the feelings it evokes. The OCD is controlling

them. As they learn to fight the OCD and take control of it, they

will learn to stop reacting that way. Your young man is at the mercy

of OCD. He is stuck in the moment, not knowing how to move on or let

it go. As he learns that OCD is making him feel that way, and how to

boss it back, he can learn to overcome it.

ERP is started by starting a hierarchy list, then working on the least

upsetting thing, working their way up to harder stuff. They gain

confidence as they go, so they are prepared to take on the harder

stuff later. If they try to take on something too hard for them, it

can cause great distress. They should choose what to work on and for

how long.

Our son has always dealt with sensory stuff. It seems to hand in hand

with OCD, quite often. He was always super sensitive to how things

felt. Things NEEDED to feel right. Tags had to be removed from every

shirt and from underwear. He couldn't tolerate anything but sweats

until just this year (he is now 16). Socks and shoes were a HUGE

problem when he was young. Sometimes it would take up to a half an

hour to get his shoes on where they felt right and he could move on.

Occupational therapy has helped some with sensory issues. We never

tried that, since we put our finances in treatment for the OCD, but

our son seemed to outgrow some of it as he aged. I found that was

true with a niece who had the same problem too.

Hope anything I shared was helpful. )

BJ

> >

> > Hi Martha. My seven year old son also has ocd. His latest thing

> is saying bad words, too! It's very frustrating as it seems that as

> soon as we get a handle on one obsession, another one pops up.

> >

> > My son also tells on himself. He deals with excessive guilt and

> so, I think he needs the reassurance that we still love him, etc. no

> matter what. He has some appointments set up for January and I'm

> hoping for improvement. I'm glad you found this group. Stay in

> touch, ask lots of questions and know that you are not alone.

> >

> >

> > Walk by Faith

> > Tyler

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: res2mom <mcarolstewart@>

> > To:

> > Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 5:39:20 PM

> > Subject: 7-yr.old

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> > My name is Martha and I have a 7-yr.old son who has been recently

> > diagnosed with OCD. I'm trying to educate myself to be a better

> parent

> > and to recognize these OCD thoughts when they happen. The reason

> we

> > went to the Psychologist in the first place was because he was

> making

> > everything equal. (If he looked left, he had to look right, etc.)

> The

> > second thing he has done was being obsessed with curse words and

> > needing to confess to me that he was thinking about them. I didn't

> > recognize this as OCD and simply thought he was acting like a 7-

> year-

> > old boy who has learned about curse words. It was so frustrating to

> me

> > that he just couldn't stop it. He is very honest and tells on

> himself

> > even if he doesn't get caught.(such as talking in class)so I never

> > suspected that the curse words were part of the OCD issue. I just

> > thought he was needing to feel better by confessing something he

> > thought was bad. I guess you can see why I need to learn much more

> > about OCD. Apparantly the confessions themselves are an issue.

> > I am still new to this and not sure what behaviors are OCD related

> and

> > what behaviors are just 7 year old boy behaviors. I have a lot to

> > learn. I have ordered some books for both of us to help understand

> > this new journey we are on. I will also be looking at the links.

> Any

> > other advice on where to start will be helpful.

> > Thanks,

> > Martha

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

We did the confession allowance before and eventually he stopped for awhile.

Jacquie

>

> Subject: Re: Re: 7-yr.old

> To:

> Date: Thursday, January 1, 2009, 2:42 PM

> Some things I have read on confessions is setting a time

> limit as your child would be allowed 5 confessions for the

> day and then slowly reducing the number. With my son we gave

> OCD a funny name so he could dis associate it from himself

> for my son we called it " purple monkey " he would

> tell me " purple monkey is acting up again " . some

> tools are having your child talk back to it when my son

> would have thoughts of bad words we would say the words out

> loud over and over again a couple times a day for days and

> then they would start diminsh in his head. Or he would talk

> back to purple monkey and say " purple monkey go jump

> in lake " " purple monkey go fall in a bottomless

> pit " when he didn't want to do what it was telling

> him to do. This helped him take control of the ocd.

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Thursday, January 1, 2009 11:59:54 AM

> Subject: Re: 7-yr.old

>

>

> My son tells on himself. He confesses to me every little

> transgression

> that happens at school, even if they are just in

> thoughts.(Example: I

> thought bad words in math today.) If the teacher is

> writing names on

> the board for children that were talking during a program

> in the

> auditorium, he will tell on himself, even if he doesn't

> get caught. I

> have wondered if he really talked or was doing this for

> some sort of

> attention. I thought the confessions were some sort of way

> to get my

> attention. (I am home with them when they are home so I

> find it hard to

> believe he would need MORE of my attention.)

> The therapist said he was wanting my reassurance that

> he's not bad.

> While I understand this, what words do I say when he

> confesses? I need

> a script in my head to have when these things happen until

> I get used

> to dealing with the confessions( and other rituals.)

> Thanks for the help.

> Martha

>

>

> >

> > >>But you said " the confessions themselves

> are an issue " ; may I ask

> what you meant by that?

> >

> > Some OCD kids have a " confession ritual " --

> they have the need to

> tattle on themselves. Oftentimes they aren't even

> guilty of

> the " crime " they are confessing! A

> " wrong " or " bad " thought crosses

> their mind and they have to tell you about it. Get it off

> their chest

> or off their conscience. Something along those lines.-Beth

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Boy am i glad we are not alone here! We are Lutheran and we would gently tell

our son that we are not Catholic. My heart goes out to these kids though- my own

and all of them. What a heavy heart they seem to have! We thought the confession

was just a phase though.

Jacquie

>

> Subject: Re: 7-yr.old

> To:

> Date: Thursday, January 1, 2009, 1:59 PM

> My son tells on himself. He confesses to me every little

> transgression

> that happens at school, even if they are just in

> thoughts.(Example: I

> thought bad words in math today.) If the teacher is

> writing names on

> the board for children that were talking during a program

> in the

> auditorium, he will tell on himself, even if he doesn't

> get caught. I

> have wondered if he really talked or was doing this for

> some sort of

> attention. I thought the confessions were some sort of way

> to get my

> attention. (I am home with them when they are home so I

> find it hard to

> believe he would need MORE of my attention.)

> The therapist said he was wanting my reassurance that

> he's not bad.

> While I understand this, what words do I say when he

> confesses? I need

> a script in my head to have when these things happen until

> I get used

> to dealing with the confessions(and other rituals.)

> Thanks for the help.

> Martha

>

>

>

>

> >

> > >>But you said " the confessions themselves

> are an issue " ; may I ask

> what you meant by that?

> >

> > Some OCD kids have a " confession ritual " --

> they have the need to

> tattle on themselves. Oftentimes they aren't even

> guilty of

> the " crime " they are confessing! A

> " wrong " or " bad " thought crosses

> their mind and they have to tell you about it. Get it off

> their chest

> or off their conscience. Something along those lines.-Beth

[Guest guest]

Thank you! All of this information is very helpful. I deal with the

shoes, socks, pants, shorts...all of the same thing you described.

And " stuck in the moment " is exactly how I would describe him when he

is having problems. I've learned a lot from this group already.

Thanks to all who have responded!

> > >

> > > Hi Martha. My seven year old son also has ocd. His latest

thing

> > is saying bad words, too! It's very frustrating as it seems that

as

> > soon as we get a handle on one obsession, another one pops up.

> > >

> > > My son also tells on himself. He deals with excessive guilt

and

> > so, I think he needs the reassurance that we still love him, etc.

no

> > matter what. He has some appointments set up for January and I'm

> > hoping for improvement. I'm glad you found this group. Stay in

> > touch, ask lots of questions and know that you are not alone.

> > >

> > >

> > > Walk by Faith

> > > Tyler

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ________________________________

> > > From: res2mom <mcarolstewart@>

> > > To:

> > > Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 5:39:20 PM

> > > Subject: 7-yr.old

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > > My name is Martha and I have a 7-yr.old son who has been

recently

> > > diagnosed with OCD. I'm trying to educate myself to be a

better

> > parent

> > > and to recognize these OCD thoughts when they happen. The

reason

> > we

> > > went to the Psychologist in the first place was because he was

> > making

> > > everything equal. (If he looked left, he had to look right,

etc.)

> > The

> > > second thing he has done was being obsessed with curse words

and

> > > needing to confess to me that he was thinking about them. I

didn't

> > > recognize this as OCD and simply thought he was acting like a 7-

> > year-

> > > old boy who has learned about curse words. It was so

frustrating to

> > me

> > > that he just couldn't stop it. He is very honest and tells on

> > himself

> > > even if he doesn't get caught.(such as talking in class)so I

never

> > > suspected that the curse words were part of the OCD issue. I

just

> > > thought he was needing to feel better by confessing something

he

> > > thought was bad. I guess you can see why I need to learn much

more

> > > about OCD. Apparantly the confessions themselves are an issue.

> > > I am still new to this and not sure what behaviors are OCD

related

> > and

> > > what behaviors are just 7 year old boy behaviors. I have a lot

to

> > > learn. I have ordered some books for both of us to help

understand

> > > this new journey we are on. I will also be looking at the

links.

> > Any

> > > other advice on where to start will be helpful.

> > > Thanks,

> > > Martha

> > >

> > >

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[Guest guest]

What helped a lot with my daughter at your son's age was simple the talk we had

when I explained that OCD makes her feel the need to " confess " and that this is

totally unnecessary.? She was able to identify it happening as it was happening

and I think it helped her to cut back.

Re: 7-yr.old

My son tells on himself. He confesses to me every little transgression

that happens at school, even if they are just in thoughts.(Example: I

thought bad words in math today.) If the teacher is writing names on

the board for children that were talking during a program in the

auditorium, he will tell on himself, even if he doesn't get caught. I

have wondered if he really talked or was doing this for some sort of

attention. I thought the confessions were some sort of way to get my

attention. (I am home with them when they are home so I find it hard to

believe he would need MORE of my attention.)

The therapist said he was wanting my reassurance that he's not bad.

While I understand this, what words do I say when he confesses? I need

a script in my head to have when these things happen until I get used

to dealing with the confessions(and other rituals.)

Thanks for the help.

Martha

>

> >>But you said " the confessions themselves are an issue " ; may I ask

what you meant by that?

>

> Some OCD kids have a " confession ritual " -- they have the need to

tattle on themselves. Oftentimes they aren't even guilty of

the " crime " they are confessing! A " wrong " or " bad " thought crosses

their mind and they have to tell you about it. Get it off their chest

or off their conscience. Something along those lines.-Beth

[Guest guest]

One of the hardest things for me to get used to with OCD was getting

over the thought that they can stop acting up if they just tried

harder. Once I realized that all these thoughts were useless in the

face of OCD, things got a lot better for me and my handling of our

situation. It also helps to read about current ideas about what's

going on in their brains that is causing OCD. They're all theories as

of today, but they're intriguing nonetheless. I spend a lot of time

on the National Institute of Mental Health website:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/index.sh\

tml

The website mentioned an article from the journal Human Molecular

Genetics that presents strong evidence that flaws in the serotonin

system are part of the pathology that leads to OCD--some kind of

problem with their serotonin transport mechanism--their serotonin is

shuttled out of service too quickly. Pretty technical, but interesting.

[Guest guest]

We were told by our cognitive behavior therapist to respond to the

constant requests for reassurance in this way: " It sounds like the

OCD is asking me for reassurance. We've agreed that this doesn't

help. Let's do something else right now. How about a game of

chess? " (or some other redirection)

You can't go along with the reassurance because it makes it worse in

the long run. They seem to get addicted to the reassurance and then

it never stops.