Re: slight rant

[Guest guest]

I feel the same way. Now that we are almost in our 3rd cast and feel like

everything is life as usual, and even find ourselves looking forward to our next

casting date that people assume that it is never stressful or that things never

come up that cause complications with our kids.

So frustrating. I

Jenn

Mommy to Cole, 20 months, 2nd cast from Rochester, 23 degrees down from 47

possible chiari malformation

>

>

> From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>

> Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rant

> To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. com

> Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

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>

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> I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our

4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of

unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's

unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a

decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's

living at the time.

>  

> She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two

preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long

time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through,

unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is

an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to

get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction

in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?

>

> Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners,

currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

>

[Guest guest]

Another reason there are a lot of times I am glad we live in a different state from the inlaws and my mom. Ok, my mom would be fine, my MIL would be useless.

Gail

"The Earth is the insane asylum for the rest of universe"

“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.†-BumperSnickerz. ********************************************************************Mom to , 11/28/98 - ADHD/ODD/SIDand , 02/02/02 - Congenital Scoliosis, VATER Association (vertebral and renal anomalies), Torticollis, Klippel Feil Syndrome, Fused Ribs, First VEPTR Recipient at Cincinnati Children's Hospital 3/21/05, VEPTR Expansions: 11/05, 04/20/06, 6/12/08 and 8/14/09; Mole (Spitz Nevus) removal: 11/26/07 & 2/11/08

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Jane, I hear you!!! It is such a relief to have this group to vent to about things most people don't get.Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Mine would be too, Gail. and She lives really far. Thank goodness. Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 12:16:42 PMSubject: Re: slight rant

Another reason there are a lot of times I am glad we live in a different state from the inlaws and my mom. Ok, my mom would be fine, my MIL would be useless.

Gail

"The Earth is the insane asylum for the rest of universe"

“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.†-BumperSnickerz. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **Mom to , 11/28/98 - ADHD/ODD/SIDand , 02/02/02 - Congenital Scoliosis, VATER Association (vertebral and renal anomalies), Torticollis, Klippel Feil Syndrome, Fused Ribs, First VEPTR Recipient at Cincinnati Children's Hospital 3/21/05, VEPTR Expansions: 11/05, 04/20/06, 6/12/08 and 8/14/09; Mole (Spitz Nevus) removal: 11/26/07 & 2/11/08

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

People make light of things to help ease their own minds. I guess we have to ignore them I don't know how else to handle my inlaws. I think when my children are old enough, I will explain to them who was there during tough times and who wasn't. Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 12:14:29 PMSubject: Re: slight rant

I feel the same way. Now that we are almost in our 3rd cast and feel like everything is life as usual, and even find ourselves looking forward to our next casting date that people assume that it is never stressful or that things never come up that cause complications with our kids. So frustrating. I Jenn Mommy to Cole, 20 months, 2nd cast from Rochester, 23 degrees down from 47 possible chiari malformation> > > From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>> Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rant> To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. com> Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM> > > >

> > > > > > I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.> > She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a

cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?> > Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)>

[Guest guest]

AMEN to that Heidi and Jane. Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 1:13:24 PMSubject: Re: slight rant

Jane, I hear you!!! It is such a relief to have this group to vent to about things most people don't get.Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

I completly understand where your coming from. My MIL seems to think nothing is

wrong at all and doesnt even call or stop to see my girls. When we first told

her Marly had IS, she said, 'well, Pat (my husband) was in a cast too (his feet

were turned in). She doesnt call to see how she is, what progress shes making.

My husband calls her to tell her whats going on b/c she doesnt call to check on

her, and she just seems to think its normal!! She and my FIL dont understand

this is not easy, emotionally and we havent been thru casting yet. The biggest

problem here is that his two older children live with us and I really to love

them but my MIL and FIL give them so much, call them, take them places. While my

kids are sitting here getting nothing. Not a phone call, not a visit (even

though shes here 3-6 times a wk to pu my stepdaughter.), not toys/clothes,

anything. I mentioned this to my husband b/c they are just as much her grandkids

as any of them but he says its b/c their young. Well, thats fine, if you cant

handle taking them but why not call, or stop in. Why not say, hey do the girls

need anything. Its really hard when this is thrown in my face several times a wk

b/c his daughter is showing me what gram or gramp bought or where they went. I

feel terrible that my parents always call and see my girls but his parents just

dont seem to care. I feel like if this was one of their other grandkids, it

would be different. What to do????

I try so hard to say, their loss, but my girls deserve better. My mother wants

to be there every step pf the way with Marly, if shes not with me at Shriners or

the doctors, shes watching my other little one.

So sorry to go off about myself but I guess I need to rant too!

Melinda

Mommy of Marlycia 8 mnths, Natalya 22 mnths

Scranton, PA

>

>

> From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>

> Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rant

> To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. com

> Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our

4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of

unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's

unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a

decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's

living at the time.

>  

> She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two

preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long

time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through,

unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is

an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to

get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction

in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?

>

> Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners,

currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

>

[Guest guest]

You probably won't have to explain it to them. Kids are way more perceptive than we tend to give them credit for.

Gail

"The Earth is the insane asylum for the rest of universe"

“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.†-BumperSnickerz. ********************************************************************Mom to , 11/28/98 - ADHD/ODD/SIDand , 02/02/02 - Congenital Scoliosis, VATER Association (vertebral and renal anomalies), Torticollis, Klippel Feil Syndrome, Fused Ribs, First VEPTR Recipient at Cincinnati Children's Hospital 3/21/05, VEPTR Expansions: 11/05, 04/20/06, 6/12/08 and 8/14/09; Mole (Spitz Nevus) removal: 11/26/07 & 2/11/08

Subject: Re: Re: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 2:15 PM

People make light of things to help ease their own minds. I guess we have to ignore them I don't know how else to handle my inlaws. I think when my children are old enough, I will explain to them who was there during tough times and who wasn't. Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 12:14:29 PMSubject: Re: slight rant

I feel the same way. Now that we are almost in our 3rd cast and feel like everything is life as usual, and even find ourselves looking forward to our next casting date that people assume that it is never stressful or that things never come up that cause complications with our kids. So frustrating. I Jenn Mommy to Cole, 20 months, 2nd cast from Rochester, 23 degrees down from 47 possible chiari malformation> > > From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>> Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rant> To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. com> Date: Sunday,

September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM> > > > > > > > > > I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.> > She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or

to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?> > Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)>

[Guest guest]

Hmmm, are they the same person?? LOL

It is sad, but on the same note, my MIL isn't 100% healthy herself, and for that I put the blame on her. She will not go to the right dr's to get her issues taken care of. I can only do so much from Ohio when she is in Upstate NY.

I have also told my DH that she needs a Lifeline (or something of that nature) and she needs to replace her bathtub with either a walk-in tub or shower. He says "yeah, yeah" but won't push the issue. She lives alone and has fallen more times than I can remember. The last time was in the winter, at night, in the snow, in her driveway taking out the trash. No one heard her calling for help. She lives in a small neighborhood, but at that time of year everyone is in their homes locked up tight. If she had a lifeline she could have set the system off, they would have tried contacting her, when they didn't get her, they would have sent help immediately. Several residents have them where I work and I have gotten called from them.I may have to be the b*tch daughter in law to get this taken care of, but I want her to be safe in her home.

Gail

"The Earth is the insane asylum for the rest of universe"

“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.†-BumperSnickerz. ********************************************************************Mom to , 11/28/98 - ADHD/ODD/SIDand , 02/02/02 - Congenital Scoliosis, VATER Association (vertebral and renal anomalies), Torticollis, Klippel Feil Syndrome, Fused Ribs, First VEPTR Recipient at Cincinnati Children's Hospital 3/21/05, VEPTR Expansions: 11/05, 04/20/06, 6/12/08 and 8/14/09; Mole (Spitz Nevus) removal: 11/26/07 & 2/11/08

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

That is sweet of you to worry about her well being. Some people are stubborn and don't want help or they will feel "old". Your a better DIL than I am. But my MIL is really crazy... from another planet.... no joke..LOL Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 2:30:51 PMSubject: Re: slight rant

Hmmm, are they the same person?? LOL

It is sad, but on the same note, my MIL isn't 100% healthy herself, and for that I put the blame on her. She will not go to the right dr's to get her issues taken care of. I can only do so much from Ohio when she is in Upstate NY.

I have also told my DH that she needs a Lifeline (or something of that nature) and she needs to replace her bathtub with either a walk-in tub or shower. He says "yeah, yeah" but won't push the issue. She lives alone and has fallen more times than I can remember. The last time was in the winter, at night, in the snow, in her driveway taking out the trash. No one heard her calling for help. She lives in a small neighborhood, but at that time of year everyone is in their homes locked up tight. If she had a lifeline she could have set the system off, they would have tried contacting her, when they didn't get her, they would have sent help immediately. Several residents have them where I work and I have gotten called from them.I may have to be the b*tch daughter in law to get this taken care of, but I want her to be safe in her home.

Gail

"The Earth is the insane asylum for the rest of universe"

“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.†-BumperSnickerz. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **Mom to , 11/28/98 - ADHD/ODD/SIDand , 02/02/02 - Congenital Scoliosis, VATER Association (vertebral and renal anomalies), Torticollis, Klippel Feil Syndrome, Fused Ribs, First VEPTR Recipient at Cincinnati Children's Hospital 3/21/05, VEPTR Expansions: 11/05, 04/20/06, 6/12/08 and 8/14/09; Mole (Spitz Nevus) removal: 11/26/07 & 2/11/08

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Right on!!! I am just waiting for the boys to start asking us questions about my MIL. They are extremely perceptive.TashaMommy of 4 year old twin boys- and Fort Worth, TexasSeries of 6 casts for 14 months and now in a night brace. is treated at Texas ish Rite Hospital.You can read 's story at....http://www.infantilescoliosis.org/stories.html--- Subject: Re: Re: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 2:23 PM

You probably won't have to explain it to them. Kids are way more perceptive than we tend to give them credit for.

Gail

"The Earth is the insane asylum for the rest of universe"

“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.†-BumperSnickerz. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **Mom to , 11/28/98 - ADHD/ODD/SIDand , 02/02/02 - Congenital Scoliosis, VATER Association (vertebral and renal anomalies), Torticollis, Klippel Feil Syndrome, Fused Ribs, First VEPTR Recipient at Cincinnati Children's Hospital 3/21/05, VEPTR Expansions: 11/05, 04/20/06, 6/12/08 and 8/14/09; Mole (Spitz Nevus) removal: 11/26/07 & 2/11/08

From: Joan Vallee <hayro1611yahoo (DOT) com>Subject: Re: [infantile_scoliosi s] Re: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Monday, September 28, 2009, 2:15 PM

People make light of things to help ease their own minds. I guess we have to ignore them I don't know how else to handle my inlaws. I think when my children are old enough, I will explain to them who was there during tough times and who wasn't. Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

From: genericallyloud <jennifer.leggett@ gmail.com>To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comSent: Monday, September 28, 2009 12:14:29 PMSubject: [infantile_scoliosi s] Re: slight rant

I feel the same way. Now that we are almost in our 3rd cast and feel like everything is life as usual, and even find ourselves looking forward to our next casting date that people assume that it is never stressful or that things never come up that cause complications with our kids. So frustrating. I Jenn Mommy to Cole, 20 months, 2nd cast from Rochester, 23 degrees down from 47 possible chiari malformation> > > From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>> Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rant> To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. com> Date: Sunday,

September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM> > > > > > > > > > I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.> > She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or

to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?> > Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)>

[Guest guest]

Melinda,

That's terrible. Rant away, here, one of the hardest times of all of this is BEFORE you get a cast on, it really is. The only thing you could do is have either you or your husband gently mention that this hurts your feelings or the kid's feelings, but if they don't change after that, there's nothing you can do. Well, passive aggressive stuff, like cutting off their privileges! My advice is to self protect, this is a very intense and stressful time for your family and for you, you set the ground rules that make you feel the most comfortable and don't worry about their feelings. This time is about you and getting your child the best medical care possible, this is a crisis time, and they are either on the bus or they can get out of the way. That's just my 2 cents!Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

Subject: Re: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 11:52 AM

Heidi, I completly understand where your coming from. My MIL seems to think nothing is wrong at all and doesnt even call or stop to see my girls. When we first told her Marly had IS, she said, 'well, Pat (my husband) was in a cast too (his feet were turned in). She doesnt call to see how she is, what progress shes making. My husband calls her to tell her whats going on b/c she doesnt call to check on her, and she just seems to think its normal!! She and my FIL dont understand this is not easy, emotionally and we havent been thru casting yet. The biggest problem here is that his two older children live with us and I really to love them but my MIL and FIL give them so much, call them, take them places. While my kids are sitting here getting nothing. Not a phone call, not a visit (even though shes here 3-6 times a wk to pu my stepdaughter. ), not toys/clothes, anything. I mentioned this to my husband b/c they are just as much her grandkids as

any of them but he says its b/c their young. Well, thats fine, if you cant handle taking them but why not call, or stop in. Why not say, hey do the girls need anything. Its really hard when this is thrown in my face several times a wk b/c his daughter is showing me what gram or gramp bought or where they went. I feel terrible that my parents always call and see my girls but his parents just dont seem to care. I feel like if this was one of their other grandkids, it would be different. What to do???? I try so hard to say, their loss, but my girls deserve better. My mother wants to be there every step pf the way with Marly, if shes not with me at Shriners or the doctors, shes watching my other little one. So sorry to go off about myself but I guess I need to rant too!Melinda Mommy of Marlycia 8 mnths, Natalya 22 mnthsScranton, PA> > > From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>> Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rant> To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. com> Date:

Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM> > > > > > > > > > I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.> > She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick

before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?> > Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)>

[Guest guest]



I agree. I actually had to bed my husband to tell her nicely we feel like our two are being treated unfairly and I need some support on this. It really is stressfull!!! Well, after he told her, she seemed to have gotten even more distant. Its not fair to my kids but like you said, I have to focus on my daughters, and Marly now and what she needs!

Thanks for your advice!! I have to move on but sometimes it just makes me soooo mad!!!

Melinda

Mommy of Marlycia 8 mnths, Natalya 22 mnths

Scranton, PA

[infantile_scoliosi s] slight rant> To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. com> Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM> > > > > > > > > > I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.> > She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?> > Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)>