Re: slight rant

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry. No one needs any added stress before a casting. Good luck with

your casting, be sure to let us know how things go.

Jenn

Mommy to cole, 20 months, 23 degrees down from 47, possible chiari malformation

>

> I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our

4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of

unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's

unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a

decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's

living at the time.

>  

> She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two

preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long

time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through,

unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is

an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to

get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction

in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?

>

> Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners,

currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

>

[Guest guest]

Heidi,It sounds as if you and I have a MIL that is very similar in many ways. That being said my heart goes out to you. Very hard to deal with for me. I finally have stopped sharing with her. And try to not let it bother me. That is the only way I can function and not totally BASH her to my husband's face. Unfortunately I have found through 's walk with scoliosis, some people just don't get it. And sometimes act like they don't care. And what gets me it is usually family or close friends. That is what I DON'T get!!!!Hang in there. You and Nick are doing the very best for Bexon.((HUGS))TashaMommy of 4 year old twin boys- and Fort Worth, TexasSeries of 6 casts for 14

months and now in a night brace. is treated at Texas ish Rite Hospital.You can read 's story at....http://www.infantilescoliosis.org/stories.html--- Subject: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Jenn!Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

Subject: Re: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 10:59 AM

I am so sorry. No one needs any added stress before a casting. Good luck with your casting, be sure to let us know how things go. Jenn Mommy to cole, 20 months, 23 degrees down from 47, possible chiari malformation>> I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.> > She does

help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?> > Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Tasha! You know, my MIL honestly does have a lot of good qualities, but we as parents of a toddler in casts are surprised at how self-interested people who are already 70 years old still can be. You'd think they'd just want to make our life easier and help during this time, you know?

But they appear to only see things from their perspective. Not to mention those irritating remarks about whether or not your child is developing on time, etc...every child is different! She keeps telling me how she raised my husband and seems to want me to do the same things she did, but her child was not in a cast. And it's not Brooklyn in the 1970s! Ok, sorry, I'll stop, now ; )Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

I so feel for you. My MIL is very supportive but my own parents could care less. They still havent called to check on isaiah from his brain surgery and that was a month ago!! Let alone to even consider asking about the cast! Why does it seem so many people, espically family that should love you and your child act so insensitive?? So sorry you have to go thru that. Please realize you are not alone and you always have your CAST family!

Subject: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Thank you, ! When I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, I think that maybe they don't know what to say, it's too scary- could that be it with your parents? I mean, it's so outside of their own experience, like my Mom, who never had any major health problems with her kids- I mean, not like this, you know?

We do get support from our families, but it almost seems like now that we're down the road a bit with casting, they forget it's still a big deal for us- the story and road is not over yet!!!

I'm so sorry you have to go through that too, thank you for your support! It helps. Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Sorry you have to deal with her especially right before a casting. I don't know what you can do except, keep talking about your son and his scoli and how much it has affected your family's lives. My mother in law doesn't even call to check on Hayden. She didn't even remember about his first casting day. Some people are very self centered and in their own world. My mother just tells me not to focus on that, and that we can't change other people. Maybe you can have your husband talk to her. I know, if he is like my husband, he won't. Good luck. And we will be thinking of you guys next week. Hope for great correction Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 12:14:30 PMSubject: slight rant

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Tasha, your MIL sounds like mine too. She just doesnt' get it either. Some people make very light of the situation. I bash her in front of my hubby and I need to stop b/c it only hurts HIM and it's not his fault. Luckily she lives far away. She rarely calls and didn't even send Hayden a get well card or toy or anything after this tough week he has had. But as you know, I am blessed with a great family. Thank God. And I have all you ladies. Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 1:14:38 PMSubject: Re: slight rant

Heidi,It sounds as if you and I have a MIL that is very similar in many ways. That being said my heart goes out to you. Very hard to deal with for me. I finally have stopped sharing with her. And try to not let it bother me. That is the only way I can function and not totally BASH her to my husband's face. Unfortunately I have found through 's walk with scoliosis, some people just don't get it. And sometimes act like they don't care. And what gets me it is usually family or close friends. That is what I DON'T get!!!!Hang in there. You and Nick are doing the very best for Bexon.((HUGS))TashaMommy of 4 year old twin boys- and Fort Worth, TexasSeries of 6 casts for 14 months and now in a night brace. is treated at Texas ish Rite

Hospital.You can read 's story at....http://www.infantil escoliosis. org/stories. html

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

heidi,

Maybe thats what it is with your family. They dont know how to respond but they really do care. My dad should understand because as a child i had club feet (pigeon toed) and had to go to Cappers foundation, which was a free clinic kind of like a shriners who specialized in orthopedics. I had to wear leg braces, kind of like Forest Gump and special corrective shoes until 1st grade. He had to help me do stretching exercises to help streghten my leg and feet muscles...oh so many ortho things like that. So if anyone should understand you think it would be him! But instead hes too involved in his own little world to even call. I try not to dwell on it too much and just realize the people who actually take interest in my child and his condition are the people Isaiah and us need in our lives. Thank God for all of you!!! I honestly could not get thru this without my husband and this group!!

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

WE are all here for you . Just like you always listen to us and care about our kids too. I think your dad just can't deal. Sometimes my dad will act like that but I have a great relationship with him and can tell him he needs to face what is going on and be here and he listens. I hope you can talk to your dad someday soon and explain what you are feeling. Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 4:14:12 PMSubject: Re: slight rant

heidi,

Maybe thats what it is with your family. They dont know how to respond but they really do care. My dad should understand because as a child i had club feet (pigeon toed) and had to go to Cappers foundation, which was a free clinic kind of like a shriners who specialized in orthopedics. I had to wear leg braces, kind of like Forest Gump and special corrective shoes until 1st grade. He had to help me do stretching exercises to help streghten my leg and feet muscles...oh so many ortho things like that. So if anyone should understand you think it would be him! But instead hes too involved in his own little world to even call. I try not to dwell on it too much and just realize the people who actually take interest in my child and his condition are the people Isaiah and us need in our lives. Thank God for all of you!!! I honestly could not get thru this without my husband and this group!!

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Joan, I'm sorry you have to go through that, too! I think people can change, but it sometimes takes a looonng time and it often never happens. Someone wise told my husband he's never seen people his parents age change, so to stop letting it get to him and accept they are who they are. Thank you for thinking of Bexon this week, especially on Thurs!Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

Subject: Re: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 2:00 PM

Sorry you have to deal with her especially right before a casting. I don't know what you can do except, keep talking about your son and his scoli and how much it has affected your family's lives. My mother in law doesn't even call to check on Hayden. She didn't even remember about his first casting day. Some people are very self centered and in their own world. My mother just tells me not to focus on that, and that we can't change other people. Maybe you can have your husband talk to her. I know, if he is like my husband, he won't. Good luck. And we will be thinking of you guys next week. Hope for great correction Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 12:14:30 PMSubject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rant

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

,

I'm sorry, that must be so frustrating and confusing! I am with you, I would not have been able to get through some of these days and weeks without Nick and my CAST friends. I'm a little weepy today. Love you guys!!!Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

AWW Heidi!! Im a little weepy today too!!

Love all you guys too!!

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

Bex gets his next cast thursday?? When do you leave to go to SLC?? Please let us know how it all goes. I hope you get great correction....praying for you all.

WOW! It seems alot of us are all getting casted around the same time doesnt it?

From: Joan Vallee <hayro1611yahoo (DOT) com>Subject: Re: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 2:00 PM

Sorry you have to deal with her especially right before a casting. I don't know what you can do except, keep talking about your son and his scoli and how much it has affected your family's lives. My mother in law doesn't even call to check on Hayden. She didn't even remember about his first casting day. Some people are very self centered and in their own world. My mother just tells me not to focus on that, and that we can't change other people. Maybe you can have your husband talk to her. I know, if he is like my husband, he won't. Good luck. And we will be thinking of you guys next week. Hope for great correction Joanmom to Hayden 2 1/233 degrees1st cast down from 62 degrees Treated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>To: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comSent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 12:14:30 PMSubject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rant

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Thanks Joan. And thanks for listening to ALL of my many fears!

And thanks to and this awesome group for your guidence, support, advice, etc. If i had not had you all i would not be able to go thru what we are about to go thru AT ALL!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!!

Much love,

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Those MILs! Mine was just here and made a comment on how my sister in law took her 1 year old's binkie away. Well, is almost 3.5 and has his binkie at night. We are taking it away after our family trip, but I really wanted to say, "Wow Good for her. Well, her little baby hasn't had to endure anesthesia and intubated so that her throat is raw and needs some comfort until he is oriented again and the fog wears off!" QUIT JUDGING ME %^$% Ooops sore spot... Hang in there. We understand.

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Oh this makes me think of so many things mine has said while was in a cast! And she would tell me all about how my SIL did things with her little girl. My all time favorite was that was more comfortable walking around rather than riding in a stroller or being held. Oh BTW he was in a CAST!!!So we just didn't get out much. BUT when we did it was always very difficult because he then would get tired and be cranky from walking, but did not want to be held. Thus being the reason we just stayed home! I can remember us all being out at Christmas time and her telling me what my SIL would do. We were in public, but I didn't care. I let her have it! I spoke up and said something. I did make a point to tell her it was totally different. is in a CAST!!!I got very upset and

start crying over not being able to tell us if he was hurting or not......blah blah blah, you get the picture. Oh it makes my blood boil.WOW I am so glad I have you all to vent to.OK I am done for all of those tired of hearing MIL stories.TashaMommy of 4 year old twin boys- and Fort Worth, TexasSeries of 6 casts for 14 months and now in a night brace. is treated at Texas ish Rite Hospital.You can read 's story at....http://www.infantilescoliosis.org/stories.html--- Subject: Re: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 9:00 PM

Those MILs! Mine was just here and made a comment on how my sister in law took her 1 year old's binkie away. Well, is almost 3.5 and has his binkie at night. We are taking it away after our family trip, but I really wanted to say, "Wow Good for her. Well, her little baby hasn't had to endure anesthesia and intubated so that her throat is raw and needs some comfort until he is oriented again and the fog wears off!" QUIT JUDGING ME %^$% Ooops sore spot... Hang in there. We understand.

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

I hear you, Jill ; ) If anyone ever says I caused Bex's scoliosis, I mean even a stranger, I fear for them. I would go off like nobody's business.Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Ha, Tasha, my MIL just told me this weekend Bex "wanted to sit" all the time, b/c of the cast- this is at home, with a million places to sit. Well, he KNOWS how to sit! He can get up and down from the couch by himself, and he can sit on the carpeted floor, and we even bought him a special child sized arm chair with faux suede, and he can sit if he pleases! It's the constant advice, as if I'm doing motherhood "wrong"- by the way, she is not senile AT ALL, but she can barely remember having a 2 year old and what it's really like. Um, I think that's because it was almost 40 years ago ; )Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to

25)

[Guest guest]

Heidi,I won't even go into MIL's (I promised to say nice things), but I wanted to just share a little. When Braydon was a year old, he wore a TLSO brace (post-fusion surgery) and a cast on his right leg/foot (clubfoot repair surgery). I used to wait for people/family to ask how he was doing, thinking they MUST know that my emotional state was needy. I also figured they should be able to read my mind. Wrong on all counts! MOST people - well-intended family included - have no idea how to treat you and your family, or what to say to you. Most people don't say anything for fear of offending you (for what reason, I have no idea). Once I realized that people CAN'T read my mind and know I WANT them to ask about Braydon, I had a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. If I thought they should be asking or felt they

should know something, I would initiate the conversation. Something like, "Braydon's fusion surgery was a traumatic event for our family, but with support from friends and family we are handling it ok". This opens the subject for discussion and lets whoever you are speaking with know you want to talk about it. Many times I just say, "can I tell you about Braydon's recent experience?" Most often that's what they are hoping you will say.My point is to stop depending on people to know how you feel, without you telling them. They are usually wrapped up in their own life experiences they don't think outwardly about anyone else. It's not that they don't care (most the time), its just they don't think that way. Even with a blatantly large cast or brace, they expect you to be the instigator of conversation. They figure you will let them know what you want them to know. Otherwise, they keep their

mouths shut. This isn't always the case, but many times.I know I haven't posted much at all this summer, and maybe it isn't my place to be interjecting here... If I offend anyone, I'm very sorry. Not intended at all. Best wishes with Cast #4 this week. I live 2 hours from SLC. Beautiful weather right now... but may be very different on Thursday.CarmellMom to Kara, idiopathic scoliosis and hypothyroidism, Blake 18, GERD, and Braydon 14, VACTERL-congenital scoliosis (fusion surgery 5/96), VEPTR patient #137 (implant 8/01), Thoracic Insufficiency Syndrome (TIS), rib anomalies, missing coccyx, fatty filum/TC (released 4/99 & 12/06), anal stenosis, chronic constipation, horseshoe (cross-fused) kidney, dbl ureter in left kidney, ureterocele (excized 6/95), kidney reflux (reimplant surgery 1/97), neurogenic bladder, dysplastic right leg w/right clubfoot with 8 toes (repaired 2/96, 3/96, 1/97, 3/04), tibial

torsion, 4cm length discrepancy-wears 3cm lift, valgus deformity, GERD, Gastroparesis, SUA, etc. http://carmellb-ivil.tripod.com/myfamily/ Congenital scoliosis support grouphttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/CongenitalScoliosisSupport/

[Guest guest]

Carmell,

Hi, thank you so much, and so nice to hear from you! I very much appreciate your input, experience and advice. I think this is largely the case with my Mom and sisters- I know they do care, but are wrapped up with their work/kids/life, and maybe I need to express myself better. I'm certainly not shy, but Ahhhh...I guess I'm wrapped up in what I'm trying to accomplish with motherhood and my professional life, and so I don't always let my feelings be known. Things fall by the wayside. Gotta pick up the phone more.

Thank you for your best wishes on Bex's next cast, we hear it might be chilly this week in SLC! Can't wait to meet my friend and hero, , there. Lucky me.

Warmly,Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

Subject: Re: slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 9:01 PM

Heidi,I won't even go into MIL's (I promised to say nice things), but I wanted to just share a little. When Braydon was a year old, he wore a TLSO brace (post-fusion surgery) and a cast on his right leg/foot (clubfoot repair surgery). I used to wait for people/family to ask how he was doing, thinking they MUST know that my emotional state was needy. I also figured they should be able to read my mind. Wrong on all counts! MOST people - well-intended family included - have no idea how to treat you and your family, or what to say to you. Most people don't say anything for fear of offending you (for what reason, I have no idea). Once I realized that people CAN'T read my mind and know I WANT them to ask about Braydon, I had a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. If I thought they should be asking or felt they should know something, I would initiate the conversation. Something like,

"Braydon's fusion surgery was a traumatic event for our family, but with support from friends and family we are handling it ok". This opens the subject for discussion and lets whoever you are speaking with know you want to talk about it. Many times I just say, "can I tell you about Braydon's recent experience?" Most often that's what they are hoping you will say.My point is to stop depending on people to know how you feel, without you telling them. They are usually wrapped up in their own life experiences they don't think outwardly about anyone else. It's not that they don't care (most the time), its just they don't think that way. Even with a blatantly large cast or brace, they expect you to be the instigator of conversation. They figure you will let them know what you want them to know. Otherwise, they keep their mouths shut. This isn't always the case, but many times.I know I haven't

posted much at all this summer, and maybe it isn't my place to be interjecting here... If I offend anyone, I'm very sorry. Not intended at all. Best wishes with Cast #4 this week. I live 2 hours from SLC. Beautiful weather right now... but may be very different on Thursday.CarmellMom to Kara, idiopathic scoliosis and hypothyroidism, Blake 18, GERD, and Braydon 14, VACTERL-congenital scoliosis (fusion surgery 5/96), VEPTR patient #137 (implant 8/01), Thoracic Insufficiency Syndrome (TIS), rib anomalies, missing coccyx, fatty filum/TC (released 4/99 & 12/06), anal stenosis, chronic constipation, horseshoe (cross-fused) kidney, dbl ureter in left kidney, ureterocele (excized 6/95), kidney reflux (reimplant surgery 1/97), neurogenic bladder, dysplastic right leg w/right clubfoot with 8 toes (repaired 2/96, 3/96, 1/97, 3/04), tibial torsion, 4cm length discrepancy- wears 3cm lift, valgus deformity, GERD, Gastroparesis,

SUA, etc. http://carmellb- ivil.tripod. com/myfamily/Congenital scoliosis support grouphttp://health. groups.yahoo. com/group/ CongenitalScolio sisSupport/

[Guest guest]

Heidi,I know exactly how you feel and it's very frustrating!!! The anxiety I had before Izzie's 2nd cast was unbelievable and no one seemed to care. They were like, "You've done it once so now you know what to expect." I just want to slap people sometimes. Patty, mom of Isabella, 2 years old, in 2nd cast (Rochester) & mom to & EvanFrom: NIck Guthe

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 1:14:30 PMSubject: slight rant

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

It is not in her everyday life so she will never really get it.

I go through it every surgery time with my MIL and FIL. I finally said "It's their problem, not mine."

The other thing is you mentioned her age, some people, when they get that age the world revolves around them and their maladies. I work part time in a retirement community. Have for the last 6 1/2 years. It is amazing how self-focused some of these people can be!! you could say "the sky is blue today" and the next thing you know you are having a discussion about how blue their hair is. Ok, possibly a slight exaggeration. :-)

On the other hand, there are several residents who ask me each week about and how she is doing, how did her surgery go etc. They get it more than my MIL. Sad to me, but then I think how lucky she is to have all those extra "grammas and grampas" ( calls where I work "The Gramma and Grampa Building") praying for her.I think if you drop your expectations of how you think she should act, it will help in the long run. It is hard, every time I talk with my In-laws I have to explain everything again and I get so frustrated - then I say "wait a sec, this is their issue, not mine" and I calm down a little. heck, i have to do it with my husband sometimes and that REALLY annoys me!!!

Gail

"The Earth is the insane asylum for the rest of universe"

“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.†-BumperSnickerz. ********************************************************************Mom to , 11/28/98 - ADHD/ODD/SIDand , 02/02/02 - Congenital Scoliosis, VATER Association (vertebral and renal anomalies), Torticollis, Klippel Feil Syndrome, Fused Ribs, First VEPTR Recipient at Cincinnati Children's Hospital 3/21/05, VEPTR Expansions: 11/05, 04/20/06, 6/12/08 and 8/14/09; Mole (Spitz Nevus) removal: 11/26/07 & 2/11/08

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

Gail,

Thank you, that's so sweet about the extra Grammas and Grandpas!

I so get what you're saying about having to explain everything again. When my Mom saw the picture of Bex's spine 3 weeks before the first cast, she asked "That's not his back now, is it?" 2 casts in. Uhhh...no. And my MIL acts like she's hearing everything for the first time. She is so not senile, she is getting a book published in the Spring that she edited and wrote an essay in. I'm calling my family today to make sure they know how biog a deal this is to us. Thanks, everyone, I needed the support! It helps a lot.Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

[Guest guest]

I go through explaining everything about Grace to my own mother a million times. Even when I talk to her directly, alone she plays the..."well you know I can't hear very well..." but yet she hears just fine when its something you're trying to keep from her. She basically shut down her daycare while Grace was in the hospital. Don't get me wrong, family support is GREAT, but there is such thing as TOO much, and that's my mom.

I also cringe every time she tells people about the Omphalocele Grace was born with, she always says there was all this stuff in the omphalocele, it was only her liver. Why do people like that always try to make it sound worse than it was? Grace's "O" issue was over 3 years ago, she has heard it all 100's of times from me, the RIGHT story, and she still gets it wrong. I've finally just stopped her when I hear her telling it wrong and tell the right thing. With all the lack of information out there the last thing we need is the WRONG info out there on top of it.

I know she would have tried getting off next week for Grace's casting, but I've already put a stop to that because I need them to take Grant and pick him up from school for me.

Ahhh, its so nice to have a place to vent.

Jane

To: infantile_scoliosis Sent: Monday, September 28, 2009 8:51:00 AMSubject: Re: slight rant

Gail,

Thank you, that's so sweet about the extra Grammas and Grandpas!

I so get what you're saying about having to explain everything again. When my Mom saw the picture of Bex's spine 3 weeks before the first cast, she asked "That's not his back now, is it?" 2 casts in. Uhhh...no. And my MIL acts like she's hearing everything for the first time. She is so not senile, she is getting a book published in the Spring that she edited and wrote an essay in. I'm calling my family today to make sure they know how biog a deal this is to us. Thanks, everyone, I needed the support! It helps a lot.Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)

From: NIck Guthe <nickgutheyahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [infantile_scoliosi s] slight rantTo: infantile_scoliosis @yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 12:14 PM

I love my mother in law, but she comes to visit just days before we go for our 4th casting trip, is in a pissy mood most of the time she's here, gives tons of unwanted advice on how to raise our child, then confesses at dinner that she's unhappy with where she's living- a conversation we've had with her for over a decade. She is always unhappy for one reason or another with wherever she's living at the time.

She does help out by watching Bex for a couple of hours, while we go on two preschool tours close to our house, but hasn't babysat for him for a very long time. She barely asks about our upcoming trip or what we're going through, unless we bring it up. Even though cast life is normal for us now, each trip is an emotional one, not knowing what that number will be. I'm scared for Bex to get sick before, or to have problems under anesthesia, or to get zero correction in a cast. UGH!!! Why don't people get it?!?Heidi, Bexon's Mama, (2 years old, in 3rd cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 61 degrees to 25)