Re: Defending your child's disability???

[Guest guest]

these accomplishments are not just little things for a non verbal to

begin using words is a huge gain and should be celebrated. It does not

mean cure but baby steps to higher level of being able to function for

herself. It may be you goals for her are set to high and you to feel if she

is not doing the envisioned outcome you have that she has not made of gains

to you level of expectations, but long term she may be to have conversations

, the baby steps will increase likelihood of the long term outcome. Like

baby has to learn to hold its head up, then roll over, then lift self up on

all 4's and them rock on all 4's and then merge forward to crawling, then

pulling self up and then cruising furniture before he/she can walk

independently. All of these steps have to be before the long term goal of

walking. You daughter with ASD is delayed and yet making gains in a good

developmental pattern that is of correct for her development and these steps

are pieces of the goals and should be celebrated with her. I to be of sad

and worried when parent to share to me they are not able to celebrate

within on such tremendous gains as this. Some children of ASD never learn to

talk not even one word nor can the gesture or communicate in ways others

understand so for you child to be doing first language things of labeling

this is a art in progress. Celebrate with her , rejoice in these steps with

her for if she feels you lack of interest in her gains what message are you

of sending her. Sondra who is sad this day for this.

Each day I to struggle so much so in various things often hidden to others,

but when I to make of gain in one small areas like remembering to greet one

or say goodbye or gave an eye contact even if brief feel happy I to

accomplished something that is of great challenge, but when others notice

and comment to me on this as they too noticed my gains I feel even more

proud of self that I did be to do it .

Sondra

[Guest guest]

--

Sondra,

Thanks. I guess I just needed to hear that. I'm so caught up with

this doctor this therapy that I loose sight of things.

My infant son seems to have had so many issues since birth. He is

now 10 almost 11 months old. He's been walking for almost a month

which for him was a increadable achievement given all is muscular

issues. I get in a circle of therapist, doctors, due better, more

therapy, different therapy sometimes I feel trapped. It looks as if

my son may have a hearing issue. Two children with special needs???

Can I handle what God has put before me???

Thanks for the vent.

- In Autism_in_Girls , " Sondra " <hfa2@c...>

wrote:

> these accomplishments are not just little things for a non

verbal to

> begin using words is a huge gain and should be celebrated. It

does not

> mean cure but baby steps to higher level of being able to function

for

> herself. It may be you goals for her are set to high and you to

feel if she

> is not doing the envisioned outcome you have that she has not made

of gains

> to you level of expectations, but long term she may be to have

conversations

> , the baby steps will increase likelihood of the long term

outcome. Like

> baby has to learn to hold its head up, then roll over, then lift

self up on

> all 4's and them rock on all 4's and then merge forward to

crawling, then

> pulling self up and then cruising furniture before he/she can walk

> independently. All of these steps have to be before the long term

goal of

> walking. You daughter with ASD is delayed and yet making gains in a

good

> developmental pattern that is of correct for her development and

these steps

> are pieces of the goals and should be celebrated with her. I to be

of sad

> and worried when parent to share to me they are not able to

celebrate

> within on such tremendous gains as this. Some children of ASD never

learn to

> talk not even one word nor can the gesture or communicate in ways

others

> understand so for you child to be doing first language things of

labeling

> this is a art in progress. Celebrate with her , rejoice in these

steps with

> her for if she feels you lack of interest in her gains what message

are you

> of sending her. Sondra who is sad this day for this.

> Each day I to struggle so much so in various things often hidden to

others,

> but when I to make of gain in one small areas like remembering to

greet one

> or say goodbye or gave an eye contact even if brief feel happy I to

> accomplished something that is of great challenge, but when others

notice

> and comment to me on this as they too noticed my gains I feel even

more

> proud of self that I did be to do it .

> Sondra

[Guest guest]

when you to allow self to grief you allow self to heal, but if you to

get stuck in the grief process and not allow self the natural process of the

grief to flow between stages and allow healing then you will struggle and be

consumed by the grief to the point of not seeing the blessing you children

are. It will make of you resentful and bitter. Grief does have stages and

with a child who is special needs it is normal to skip around and revisit

various stages this is normal. One stage is the shock, and another is the

anger but then the good ones is acceptance, so in parts of thems development

you should begin to find acceptance, but a new stage of development might

trigger the cycling of other stages. I to had this in college class and I to

think there are 5 stages to grief.

You to have two children's, It to sound much to me as you son is developing

ASD too as you are seeing some red flags I to heared of from others too of

thems Childs development. I do not believe that God gives us this because we

can handle it that is much not ethical of the God I to know, but I to know

life gives us grief and sorrows and it is how we cope with the things in

life that gives of the outcome. As for self could be to get bitter and much

resentments for to be born autistic, I can be to vent this anger to all and

shut down and refuse to connect and be of this world trying so hard each day

to do good, but I to chose to fight against the way society sees me and make

a life for self. Does this mean each day i to think this way NO , because I

to be cycling my own grief and each day I to allow it as normal process of

coming to terms with my own challenges, then in life was given 4 children's

who are all with very different levels of functioning with ASD, although 3

are of official dx. But as parent grief for them at different things of

thems development too. It is normal, so take deep breath and not judge self

so badly and say this is normal process of grief.................

Sondra

[Guest guest]

-

Sondra,

Thanks so much for being so caring. I truly appreciate it. I guess

all the stress from the holiday makes me feel like I'm about to break.

Thanks so much!

-- In Autism_in_Girls , " Sondra " <hfa2@c...>

wrote:

> when you to allow self to grief you allow self to heal, but

if you to

> get stuck in the grief process and not allow self the natural

process of the

> grief to flow between stages and allow healing then you will

struggle and be

> consumed by the grief to the point of not seeing the blessing you

children

> are. It will make of you resentful and bitter. Grief does have

stages and

> with a child who is special needs it is normal to skip around and

revisit

> various stages this is normal. One stage is the shock, and another

is the

> anger but then the good ones is acceptance, so in parts of thems

development

> you should begin to find acceptance, but a new stage of development

might

> trigger the cycling of other stages. I to had this in college class

and I to

> think there are 5 stages to grief.

> You to have two children's, It to sound much to me as you son is

developing

> ASD too as you are seeing some red flags I to heared of from others

too of

> thems Childs development. I do not believe that God gives us this

because we

> can handle it that is much not ethical of the God I to know, but I

to know

> life gives us grief and sorrows and it is how we cope with the

things in

> life that gives of the outcome. As for self could be to get bitter

and much

> resentments for to be born autistic, I can be to vent this anger to

all and

> shut down and refuse to connect and be of this world trying so hard

each day

> to do good, but I to chose to fight against the way society sees me

and make

> a life for self. Does this mean each day i to think this way NO ,

because I

> to be cycling my own grief and each day I to allow it as normal

process of

> coming to terms with my own challenges, then in life was given 4

children's

> who are all with very different levels of functioning with ASD,

although 3

> are of official dx. But as parent grief for them at different

things of

> thems development too. It is normal, so take deep breath and not

judge self

> so badly and say this is normal process of grief.................

> Sondra

[Guest guest]

me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not like the traffic lately and too

much anxiety in the children for want of to have new toys LOL . I to be of

fear to have of them home for 2 weeks YUCK in some ways as no rest, no

organization or clean house. hate that.

Sondra