Re: I'm whining - long, sorry

[Guest guest]

Hi, . Not a dumb question at all! I'm sorry. . .I sometimes

forget to explain the initials when I'm typing. I'm glad was

able to let you know.

Does you son's therapist use CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)

specific to OCD, and ERP (exposure and response prevention)? It's so

necessary and important with OCD. Our son saw therapists for years,

but never improved until he got the right kind of therapy. Once he

started doing the CBT/ERP, we saw immediate progress and he kept

improving from there.

I love the name (Josiah). That is our son's middle name too. )

Oh, boy, that must be so hard for you, having your own health issues

and dealing with your son's OCD too. Do you have help and support

from family members? I've had some health stuff including heart

problems and some residual stuff from a stroke, brought on taking

medication. I know at times, I got very overwhelmed trying to cope

with my health stuff and our son's OCD. My husband doesn't want to

deal with it all, and my family was not near enough to be much help

when things were at their worst. It's tough to cope with OCD, period,

but when you bring other things into the mix, it can be worse.

I'm glad you are here, ((())). Always feel free to ask

questions. )

BJ

> > > > > >

> > > > > > What is it with this OCD thing that everything can be

going just

> > > > > fine and one little thing blows it up in my face?! We had

our 504

> > > > > meeting with 's teachers yesterday and it went

exceedingly

> > > > > well; all the teachers and the principal seemed ready and

> willing to

> > > > > do whatever needed to be done to help her succeed in school.

> > > > > > Flashforward to home: I think if we all just disappeared and

> Jess

> > > > > was left completely on her own, she'd be happy as a clam! My

> 5-yr old

> > > > > walked into her room because I was in there and you'd have

> thought the

> > > > > biggest germ had just waltzed into Jess's room spraying

> > > > > " contamination " all over the place! She practically shoved

> her out of

> > > > > the room, at which point I handled it badly and got emotional

> at the

> > > > > way she was treating her younger sister. Jess stormed out

of her

> > > > > room, Dad asks what's going on, and she says " oh, mom's

going all

> > > > > emotional on me! " WHAT?????? WHO'S the emotional one

here???!!!

> > > > > Geeez! It really concerns me that she doesn't seem to

" love " us,

> > > > > especially her siblings. I'm so concerned she's going to

> damage her

> > > > > relationship with them beyond repair.

> > > > > > When I tucked my little one into bed, I told her " you know

that

> > > > > Sissy loves you very much; she's just having a hard time

right now

> > > > > with touching people " . You know what she said? " I know Sissy

> loves

> > > > > me in her heart, Mommy " . Guess what, I got emotional again.

> Jazmin

> > > > > is adopted from China and has always seemed to have an

ability to

> > > > > empathize with others' feelings in a way far beyond her years

> and says

> > > > > she wants to be a doctor. Hmmmm, maybe a psychologist that

> > > > > specializes in OCD, perhaps? You just never know.

> > > > > > And I still keep waiting to see " something " with this darn

> Zoloft!

> > > > > I hate to think we've wasted the last 6 weeks if this isn't

> going to

> > > > > help; I mean other than some mood improvement, I've seen very

> little

> > > > > improvement in the OCD symptoms. I'm just so frustrated

> already; and

> > > > > I'm sick of keeping this false " everything' s going to be ok "

> face on,

> > > > > when what if it's not??!! I feel like in addition to trying

> to help

> > > > > , I have to protect her brother and sister from the

> fallout,

> > > > > keep the house running, keep working, keep smiling, keep

> going, on and

> > > > > on and on. AND it's only been two months!

> > > > > > So I'm sitting here having my pity-party and kicking myself

> because

> > > > > I haven't even been through a TENTH of what some of you have

dealt

> > > > > with, so what right do I have to whine anyway? I'm just so

afraid

> > > > > it's going to get WORSE and I don't know if I can deal with

> WORSE!

> > > > > > Thanks for listening; there's nowhere else I can go with all

> these

> > > > > emotions but here.

> > > > > > Debbie

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________

_________ _

> > > > > > Click for top financial advice. Reduce debt & amp; save for

> > > retirement.

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> http://thirdpartyof fers.netzero. net/TGL2221/ fc/Ioyw6i4tx3629

2urKsXOfK3gSkj0y rJZ4A9W

> > > > dxGsKytj05EKFK9kYR/ ?count=123456789 0

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

[Guest guest]

Hi BJ. Josiah's therapist does use CBT but we've not yet done ERP, maybe

because he doesn't have any rituals at this time. Would that be correct?

I do have support and help. Last year was really bad because I had little of

either and Josiah was really struggling. Actually we all were. My husband has

really stepped up with Josiah and is learning to take better care of himself

too. It's been an adventure to say the least! I'm leaving tomorrow for a

business trip so my husband has the kids until Monday night, but my neighbors

have really stepped in to help as well. So I am very thankful. I am thankful

for this group too. So few people understand what OCD really is and does.

Thanks for the much needed hug! I've been stressed about leaving, but I'm

feeling better about it. Hugs to you too.

Walk by Faith

Tyler

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thursday, October 23, 2008 12:33:38 AM

Subject: Re: I'm whining - long, sorry

Hi, . Not a dumb question at all! I'm sorry. . .I sometimes

forget to explain the initials when I'm typing. I'm glad was

able to let you know.

Does you son's therapist use CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)

specific to OCD, and ERP (exposure and response prevention)? It's so

necessary and important with OCD. Our son saw therapists for years,

but never improved until he got the right kind of therapy. Once he

started doing the CBT/ERP, we saw immediate progress and he kept

improving from there.

I love the name (Josiah). That is our son's middle name too. )

Oh, boy, that must be so hard for you, having your own health issues

and dealing with your son's OCD too. Do you have help and support

from family members? I've had some health stuff including heart

problems and some residual stuff from a stroke, brought on taking

medication. I know at times, I got very overwhelmed trying to cope

with my health stuff and our son's OCD. My husband doesn't want to

deal with it all, and my family was not near enough to be much help

when things were at their worst. It's tough to cope with OCD, period,

but when you bring other things into the mix, it can be worse.

I'm glad you are here, ((())). Always feel free to ask

questions. )

BJ

> > > > > >

> > > > > > What is it with this OCD thing that everything can be

going just

> > > > > fine and one little thing blows it up in my face?! We had

our 504

> > > > > meeting with 's teachers yesterday and it went

exceedingly

> > > > > well; all the teachers and the principal seemed ready and

> willing to

> > > > > do whatever needed to be done to help her succeed in school.

> > > > > > Flashforward to home: I think if we all just disappeared and

> Jess

> > > > > was left completely on her own, she'd be happy as a clam! My

> 5-yr old

> > > > > walked into her room because I was in there and you'd have

> thought the

> > > > > biggest germ had just waltzed into Jess's room spraying

> > > > > " contamination " all over the place! She practically shoved

> her out of

> > > > > the room, at which point I handled it badly and got emotional

> at the

> > > > > way she was treating her younger sister. Jess stormed out

of her

> > > > > room, Dad asks what's going on, and she says " oh, mom's

going all

> > > > > emotional on me! " WHAT?????? WHO'S the emotional one

here???!!!

> > > > > Geeez! It really concerns me that she doesn't seem to

" love " us,

> > > > > especially her siblings. I'm so concerned she's going to

> damage her

> > > > > relationship with them beyond repair.

> > > > > > When I tucked my little one into bed, I told her " you know

that

> > > > > Sissy loves you very much; she's just having a hard time

right now

> > > > > with touching people " . You know what she said? " I know Sissy

> loves

> > > > > me in her heart, Mommy " . Guess what, I got emotional again.

> Jazmin

> > > > > is adopted from China and has always seemed to have an

ability to

> > > > > empathize with others' feelings in a way far beyond her years

> and says

> > > > > she wants to be a doctor. Hmmmm, maybe a psychologist that

> > > > > specializes in OCD, perhaps? You just never know.

> > > > > > And I still keep waiting to see " something " with this darn

> Zoloft!

> > > > > I hate to think we've wasted the last 6 weeks if this isn't

> going to

> > > > > help; I mean other than some mood improvement, I've seen very

> little

> > > > > improvement in the OCD symptoms. I'm just so frustrated

> already; and

> > > > > I'm sick of keeping this false " everything' s going to be ok "

> face on,

> > > > > when what if it's not??!! I feel like in addition to trying

> to help

> > > > > , I have to protect her brother and sister from the

> fallout,

> > > > > keep the house running, keep working, keep smiling, keep

> going, on and

> > > > > on and on. AND it's only been two months!

> > > > > > So I'm sitting here having my pity-party and kicking myself

> because

> > > > > I haven't even been through a TENTH of what some of you have

dealt

> > > > > with, so what right do I have to whine anyway? I'm just so

afraid

> > > > > it's going to get WORSE and I don't know if I can deal with

> WORSE!

> > > > > > Thanks for listening; there's nowhere else I can go with all

> these

> > > > > emotions but here.

> > > > > > Debbie

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________

_________ _

> > > > > > Click for top financial advice. Reduce debt & amp; save for

> > > retirement.

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> http://thirdpartyof fers.netzero. net/TGL2221/ fc/Ioyw6i4tx3629

2urKsXOfK3gSkj0y rJZ4A9W

> > > > dxGsKytj05EKFK9kYR/ ?count=123456789 0

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

[Guest guest]

Hi, . For our son, there were a lot of obvious physical rituals,

like straightening things and lining things up, hand washing,

contamination fears that made him avoid things, drinking off of a

certain part of a glass, etc. Yet, they can also do rituals in their

mind. Our son was often evening things up in his mind. He would

group things into certain numbers. . . Sometimes even doing math in

his mind. He would also start analyzing sentences while trying to

read. He would be sorting out the parts of grammar and couldn't get

past that to be able to figure out what he was reading. The stuff he

was doing in his mind was something nobody would have known if he

hadn't told us.

Do you think your son could be experiencing anything like that?

Here's a great quote from March's book, Talking Back to OCD, that

explains it well. . . .

" The cardinal feature of OCD in young people is the need to neutralize

obsessions by performing rituals. Unwanted thoughts and/or images

(what we call obsessions) pop into the child's or teen's heads,

bringing with them unpleasant sensations ranging from worry to fear,

to disgust, shame and guilt. Your son or daughter then performs some

specific act (a compulsion or ritual) aimed at easing those sensations

or reducing the chances that feared consequences will occur (that

loved one will get sick or die, for example). The rituals may be

performed out in the open (such as washing) or secretly (such as

counting mentally). "

The ritual doesn't make the obsessions stop though, they start

repeating in the mind, like brain hiccups, and it becomes a vicious

cycle.

CBT works, but it needs to be applied correctly to the OCD, because

CBT can be used to treat different things, and is applied differently

depending on what is being treated. For OCD, it is recognizing

specific thoughts for what they are, then talking back to the OCD,

and/or disregarding the thoughts as unimportant, and choosing not to

respond to them. It is sometimes described as seeing junk email on

your computer that has sensationalized subject lines, yet recognizing

it for what it is " junk " , then choosing to delete it.

There is most likely ways to apply ERP to it also, by exposing the

mind to things that was affecting it. It's hard to describe without

specifics though.

If your son's therapist is not approaching it from that direction, you

might want to ask him/her why. And possibly even look for another

therapist who has more experience, if you see no progress. I hope

that doesn't sound harsh, it wasn't intended that way. We paid for

therapy for years that didn't work. It's so important to get the

right kind of therapy so our precious kids can get well.

Hope that all made sense.

Have a safe, successful business trip, . )

Hugs,

BJ

-- In , Tyler wrote:

>

> Hi BJ. Josiah's therapist does use CBT but we've not yet done ERP,

maybe because he doesn't have any rituals at this time. Would that be

correct?

>

> I do have support and help. Last year was really bad because I had

little of either and Josiah was really struggling. Actually we all

were. My husband has really stepped up with Josiah and is learning to

take better care of himself too. It's been an adventure to say the

least! I'm leaving tomorrow for a business trip so my husband has the

kids until Monday night, but my neighbors have really stepped in to

help as well. So I am very thankful. I am thankful for this group

too. So few people understand what OCD really is and does. Thanks

for the much needed hug! I've been stressed about leaving, but I'm

feeling better about it. Hugs to you too.

>

>

> Walk by Faith

> Tyler

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Thursday, October 23, 2008 12:33:38 AM

> Subject: Re: I'm whining - long, sorry

>

>

> Hi, . Not a dumb question at all! I'm sorry. . .I sometimes

> forget to explain the initials when I'm typing. I'm glad was

> able to let you know.

>

> Does you son's therapist use CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)

> specific to OCD, and ERP (exposure and response prevention)? It's so

> necessary and important with OCD. Our son saw therapists for years,

> but never improved until he got the right kind of therapy. Once he

> started doing the CBT/ERP, we saw immediate progress and he kept

> improving from there.

>

> I love the name (Josiah). That is our son's middle name too. )

>

> Oh, boy, that must be so hard for you, having your own health issues

> and dealing with your son's OCD too. Do you have help and support

> from family members? I've had some health stuff including heart

> problems and some residual stuff from a stroke, brought on taking

> medication. I know at times, I got very overwhelmed trying to cope

> with my health stuff and our son's OCD. My husband doesn't want to

> deal with it all, and my family was not near enough to be much help

> when things were at their worst. It's tough to cope with OCD, period,

> but when you bring other things into the mix, it can be worse.

>

> I'm glad you are here, ((())). Always feel free to ask

> questions. )

>

> BJ

>

>

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > What is it with this OCD thing that everything can be

> going just

> > > > > > fine and one little thing blows it up in my face?! We had

> our 504

> > > > > > meeting with 's teachers yesterday and it went

> exceedingly

> > > > > > well; all the teachers and the principal seemed ready and

> > willing to

> > > > > > do whatever needed to be done to help her succeed in school.

> > > > > > > Flashforward to home: I think if we all just disappeared and

> > Jess

> > > > > > was left completely on her own, she'd be happy as a clam! My

> > 5-yr old

> > > > > > walked into her room because I was in there and you'd have

> > thought the

> > > > > > biggest germ had just waltzed into Jess's room spraying

> > > > > > " contamination " all over the place! She practically shoved

> > her out of

> > > > > > the room, at which point I handled it badly and got emotional

> > at the

> > > > > > way she was treating her younger sister. Jess stormed out

> of her

> > > > > > room, Dad asks what's going on, and she says " oh, mom's

> going all

> > > > > > emotional on me! " WHAT?????? WHO'S the emotional one

> here???!!!

> > > > > > Geeez! It really concerns me that she doesn't seem to

> " love " us,

> > > > > > especially her siblings. I'm so concerned she's going to

> > damage her

> > > > > > relationship with them beyond repair.

> > > > > > > When I tucked my little one into bed, I told her " you know

> that

> > > > > > Sissy loves you very much; she's just having a hard time

> right now

> > > > > > with touching people " . You know what she said? " I know Sissy

> > loves

> > > > > > me in her heart, Mommy " . Guess what, I got emotional again.

> > Jazmin

> > > > > > is adopted from China and has always seemed to have an

> ability to

> > > > > > empathize with others' feelings in a way far beyond her years

> > and says

> > > > > > she wants to be a doctor. Hmmmm, maybe a psychologist that

> > > > > > specializes in OCD, perhaps? You just never know.

> > > > > > > And I still keep waiting to see " something " with this darn

> > Zoloft!

> > > > > > I hate to think we've wasted the last 6 weeks if this isn't

> > going to

> > > > > > help; I mean other than some mood improvement, I've seen very

> > little

> > > > > > improvement in the OCD symptoms. I'm just so frustrated

> > already; and

> > > > > > I'm sick of keeping this false " everything' s going to be ok "

> > face on,

> > > > > > when what if it's not??!! I feel like in addition to trying

> > to help

> > > > > > , I have to protect her brother and sister from the

> > fallout,

> > > > > > keep the house running, keep working, keep smiling, keep

> > going, on and

> > > > > > on and on. AND it's only been two months!

> > > > > > > So I'm sitting here having my pity-party and kicking myself

> > because

> > > > > > I haven't even been through a TENTH of what some of you have

> dealt

> > > > > > with, so what right do I have to whine anyway? I'm just so

> afraid

> > > > > > it's going to get WORSE and I don't know if I can deal with

> > WORSE!

> > > > > > > Thanks for listening; there's nowhere else I can go with all

> > these

> > > > > > emotions but here.

> > > > > > > Debbie

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________

> _________ _

> > > > > > > Click for top financial advice. Reduce debt & amp; save for

> > > > retirement.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > http://thirdpartyof fers.netzero. net/TGL2221/ fc/Ioyw6i4tx3629

> 2urKsXOfK3gSkj0y rJZ4A9W

> > > > > dxGsKytj05EKFK9kYR/ ?count=123456789 0

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >