Re: Please help - I'm so scared.

[Guest guest]

I just signed up for this list today. I'm sending a hug to you from

where I sit. OCD is scary and it's terribly unfair. My 9 year old has

been diagnosed with Severe OCD. Hers comes with occassional rage

episodes. It can be a living nightmare at times, although we're

working hard on it with CBT and meds.

It's hard to share our situation because of the stigma that surrounds

OCD. You were right to tell your mom. I know that we are appreciative

and seriously in need of al the support we can get.

I've been researching a lot. I'm clinging to the success stories, but

I am very aware that OCD (unfortunately) is not like an ear infection -

it takes time to improve, and there is no magic solution.

I'm thankful there are websites like this. It's a comfort to know

we're not alone.

[Guest guest]

Welcome, .  My daughter with OCD is 9 as well.  You will get a lot of

insight and support here.  

Re: Please help - I'm so scared.

I just signed up for this list today. I'm sending a hug to you from

where I sit. OCD is scary and it's terribly unfair. My 9 year old has

been diagnosed with Severe OCD. Hers comes with occassional rage

episodes. It can be a living nightmare at times, although we're

working hard on it with CBT and meds.

It's hard to share our situation because of the stigma that surrounds

OCD. You were right to tell your mom. I know that we are appreciative

and seriously in need of al the support we can get.

I've been researching a lot. I'm clinging to the success stories, but

I am very aware that OCD (unfortunately) is not like an ear infection -

it takes time to improve, and there is no magic solution.

I'm thankful there are websites like this. It's a comfort to know

we're not alone.

[Guest guest]

Many can do the therapy without meds. So, if your daughter can, that

is ideal. As they do the exposures, it can cause an increase in

anxiety though. If she is able to push through it, it gets better

each time they do the exercise, until the anxiety or uncomfortable

feeling disappears, or decreases so much they can tolerate it well.

Eventually, they should get to a point that they no longer feel the

urge to do that ritual. Or, it becomes so insignificant, that they

can ignore it, easily.

In our case, we are hoping to someday wean our son off of the meds.

But, if he can't do it without them, we are prepared to accept that he

might need them for life. You just never know with OCD. Even though

it is the same for many, it can also be very individual. Some need

meds, some don't. It really seems to depend upon the severity and how

it manifests itself within the individual.

Let us know how your appointment goes, . Hoping for good

results for you.

BJ

> > >

> > > Hello:

> > >

> > > I just signed up to this list serve yesterday. I'm very afraid my

> > 10 1/2 year old daughter has OCD. As a matter of fact I'm sure she

> > does. It all started (to my knowledge) about a month ago. She is

> > obssesed with making marks on things and is constantly checking to

> > she if she did or asking me if she did. It happens hundreds of times

> > a day.....She thinks her nails are marking things, toes are marking

> > things - almost any time she touches something on accident then she

> > thinks she made a mark.

> > >

> > > She's also asked about if she touches her mouth with her fingers -

> > is that bad? She seems to be washing her hands more.

> > >

> > > She's commented that she doesn't like it when the things on her

> > dresser are touching each other.

> > >

> > > She's done some ritualistic things (i.e. making star patterns)

> > because she feels like if she doesn't something bad will happen.

> > >

> > > I have a phone call into a counselor to try and set up an

> > appointment next week. She and her 7 year old brother left today to

> > go camping with my mom and dad, which is usually always a fun time

> > for them. My husband and I are going away with friends to a lodge

> > and rafting down a river ~ our time away from the kids this summer.

> > I didn't want to tell my mom about it b/c I didn't want her to

> > worry......well now I guess that was a bad decision b/c my daughter

> > just called home (she is 2 hours away) and she was crying and wanting

> > me to tell grandma about the 'marking' thing b/c it was really

> > getting annoying (as she puts it) So I told my mom what was going on

> > and I'm hoping that relieves some of her stress and makes her feel

> > better. I told her she could talk to grandma about it anytime.

> > >

> > > She is a very very intelligent girl and is congizant that these are

> > irrational thoughts but she cannot stop them. She hates this and it

> > is driving her crazy.....and me.......I'm a crying wreck....... ..

> > > Please tell me how I can help her at this very early stage ~ should

> > I cancel our adult weekend and have my parents bring her back????

> > >

> > > I'm so scared for her......I want to make this go

> > away........ ...please help us........

> > > Beth

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Welcome, . So glad you found us. OCD can be very isolating.

It can have a stigma attached to it, and it can make you feel very

alone. I agree, it is great to have places like this where people

understand.

You say your 9 year old is severe. Is this a recent diagnosis? What

are you trying now to help him/her? Have you had the opportunity to

do much reading about OCD? Getting good information is very helpful.

Our 16 year old son is on meds and does therapy. A little over a year

ago, he was in total relapse and wasn't functioning at all. For the

most part, he spent the whole day, every day, on the sofa, curled up

in the fetal position, white faced, and groaning. He was pretty

overwhelmed. He went back on meds, but it took months for them to

work. He missed half a year of school, but fortunately we

homeschooled. We made his recovery our primary focus, and worked on

getting him through it, moment by moment. He is much better now,

thankfully. There is hope. So, glad you are here.

BJ

>

> I just signed up for this list today. I'm sending a hug to you from

> where I sit. OCD is scary and it's terribly unfair. My 9 year old has

> been diagnosed with Severe OCD. Hers comes with occassional rage

> episodes. It can be a living nightmare at times, although we're

> working hard on it with CBT and meds.

>

> It's hard to share our situation because of the stigma that surrounds

> OCD. You were right to tell your mom. I know that we are appreciative

> and seriously in need of al the support we can get.

>

> I've been researching a lot. I'm clinging to the success stories, but

> I am very aware that OCD (unfortunately) is not like an ear infection -

> it takes time to improve, and there is no magic solution.

>

> I'm thankful there are websites like this. It's a comfort to know

> we're not alone.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Our daughter had some rituals that really climaxed in the springtime

for about 3 years. Some of them I could rationalize away, but others

were odd enough to talk to her pediatrician. Truthfully, I was

hoping the pediatrician would laugh and tell me that kids can do the

darndest things and send me home with some warm fuzzies. Of course,

that didn't happen. She sat wide eyed and told me quietly but firmly

that there is a problem and wrote down the name of a child

psychologist, whom we've been seeing since March.

The 'severe' diagnosis was officially made about 6 weeks ago. the

psychiatrist explained that the 'severe' means that it's interfering

with her leading a 'normal' life. We're fortunate - the interference

is strictly at home at this point. She is able to attend (and do

well at) school, she has friends and attended day camp, etc. But

while it is fortunate that she is able to do all these things away

from home, there is often a payback at home, when she lets out all

the anxiety she's been bottling. Some days I really miss my daughter,

and she's standing right in front of me.

I've been reading quite a bit on OCD. I think there are some helpful

books, and I'm relieved about that. The psychologist appointments

help, but she needs daily reinforcement and support, and that has to

come from my husband and me.

Thank you for sharing your son's story. I think we can all use hope,

and it's not always readily available. I'm glad he's doing better.

I can't imagine how you continued through all of it. I guess we find

the strength we need, but it's quite a challenge at times.

[Guest guest]

Dear Beth -

Sorry I'm responding so late, but I haven't been online for a few days.  I see

you have gotten some great advice from everyone here, so I don't have much to

add.  Just wanted you to know you are not alone.  When I read your email,

especially the subject line, I immediately knew what you were feeling.  It is

really scary.  My 13 year old son was diagnosed a little over a year ago. I

think it was puberty, but who knows?  With ERP (exposure ritual

prevention) therapy and medication, he is currently doing great.  OCD waxes and

wanes, but it can be managed.

 

Hang in there and try not to get overwhelmed with the fear.  We are all here for

you if you have any questions or need support.

 

A big hug to you!

       

Subject: Please help - I'm so scared.

To:

Date: Thursday, July 31, 2008, 7:06 PM

Hello:

I just signed up to this list serve yesterday. I'm very afraid my 10 1/2 year

old daughter has OCD. As a matter of fact I'm sure she does. It all started (to

my knowledge) about a month ago. She is obssesed with making marks on things and

is constantly checking to she if she did or asking me if she did. It happens

hundreds of times a day.....She thinks her nails are marking things, toes are

marking things - almost any time she touches something on accident then she

thinks she made a mark.

She's also asked about if she touches her mouth with her fingers - is that bad?

She seems to be washing her hands more.

She's commented that she doesn't like it when the things on her dresser are

touching each other.

She's done some ritualistic things (i.e. making star patterns) because she feels

like if she doesn't something bad will happen.

I have a phone call into a counselor to try and set up an appointment next week.

She and her 7 year old brother left today to go camping with my mom and dad,

which is usually always a fun time for them. My husband and I are going away

with friends to a lodge and rafting down a river ~ our time away from the kids

this summer. I didn't want to tell my mom about it b/c I didn't want her to

worry......well now I guess that was a bad decision b/c my daughter just called

home (she is 2 hours away) and she was crying and wanting me to tell grandma

about the 'marking' thing b/c it was really getting annoying (as she puts it) So

I told my mom what was going on and I'm hoping that relieves some of her stress

and makes her feel better. I told her she could talk to grandma about it

anytime.

She is a very very intelligent girl and is congizant that these are irrational

thoughts but she cannot stop them. She hates this and it is driving her

crazy.....and me.......I'm a crying wreck....... ..

Please tell me how I can help her at this very early stage ~ should I cancel our

adult weekend and have my parents bring her back????

I'm so scared for her.....I want to make this go away........ ...please help

us........

Beth

[Guest guest]

Hugs to you, . I know what you mean about wishing it weren't

so. But, the fact is, with the right treatment (CBT, specific to OCD,

including ERP) and sometimes meds, they can get better as they ride

out the waxing and waning of OCD.

Does the child psychologist that you are seeing use ERP? When our son

started doing the right therapy (ERP), after years of trying many

other things that didn't work, he had great results very quickly. We

watched many of his rituals drop away, one at a time.

It's really common for kids to come home and break down. It's where

they feel safe.

I know what you mean about missing them, when they are standing right

in front of you. When OCD is in control, it's like they are lost.

But, as they improve with the right treatment, you see more and more

glimpses of the real them. The day our son laughed, after months of

wearing a stricken, white faced, clinched look, was such a relief.

I'm so glad you are doing a lot of reading. Reading informative books

helped me understand OCD better, and gave me hope that things could

improve if we just did the right therapy. . . Which they did for us.

Yes, it is hard to get through when times are at their worst. There

were days where I would hide and cry (usually in the shower where I

could be alone and undisturbed). Then I would get out, dry my eyes,

and put my " everything's going to be fine " face on. I would give

myself a pep talk, knowing I needed to be assertive and confident to

help our son not give up hope. And there were times where we

literally lived moment to moment. Night's and showers were the worst,

because he had nothing to distract his mind, while we waited months to

get the right dosage for the meds to work. He used to listen to

soothing music at bedtime, or something he liked enough it could help

occupy part of his mind while showering. Little by little, things

improved.

You do find the strength. You have to. You can't run from it, so you

have to go through it. Ironically, that is what helps you control OCD

too. . Pushing your way through, rather than avoiding. You get

stronger, instead of avoiding, which makes the OCD stronger. Is it

easy? Heck no, but necessary! You find you are stronger than you

think when you fight your way through stuff like that. )

Hugs,

BJ

>

> Our daughter had some rituals that really climaxed in the springtime

> for about 3 years. Some of them I could rationalize away, but others

> were odd enough to talk to her pediatrician. Truthfully, I was

> hoping the pediatrician would laugh and tell me that kids can do the

> darndest things and send me home with some warm fuzzies. Of course,

> that didn't happen. She sat wide eyed and told me quietly but firmly

> that there is a problem and wrote down the name of a child

> psychologist, whom we've been seeing since March.

>

> The 'severe' diagnosis was officially made about 6 weeks ago. the

> psychiatrist explained that the 'severe' means that it's interfering

> with her leading a 'normal' life. We're fortunate - the interference

> is strictly at home at this point. She is able to attend (and do

> well at) school, she has friends and attended day camp, etc. But

> while it is fortunate that she is able to do all these things away

> from home, there is often a payback at home, when she lets out all

> the anxiety she's been bottling. Some days I really miss my daughter,

> and she's standing right in front of me.

>

> I've been reading quite a bit on OCD. I think there are some helpful

> books, and I'm relieved about that. The psychologist appointments

> help, but she needs daily reinforcement and support, and that has to

> come from my husband and me.

>

> Thank you for sharing your son's story. I think we can all use hope,

> and it's not always readily available. I'm glad he's doing better.

> I can't imagine how you continued through all of it. I guess we find

> the strength we need, but it's quite a challenge at times.

>

>

>