Looking for a NH

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone

I have decided that it is time to find a nursing home

for my Mom. I called several today and found that they

would not expect her since she had Kaiser Ins. and was

on Kaiser Hospice. It was rather frustrating. So I

called the Hospice SW and he gave me several that

Kaiser does contract with. Tomorrow I start the

search. Please be praying that I find the right one

the first time and do not have to change her over and

over.

My mom is now bedridden. I have been so frustrated

because I cannot get the DAMN!! diaper on her right.

She is dead weight and does not roll well and it is

soooo hard with just one person. I ripped three

diapers trying and went back to the pull up type of

diaper and believe it or not that worked better. Also

she gets scrunched down in the bed and as one person

again I cannot move her up without being at the head

of the bed which is really almost impossible. So I get

her up to standing and try to get a side step going

and move her up which is way too hard on her. I cried

all day yesterday with frustration. I just give up.

Maybe I am not a strong enough person, maybe I just

don't want to do this anymore. I don't know, but I do

know that I am having anxiety attacks in the middle of

the night, I can't eat and I feel sick in general. I

guess that means it is time. I have done the absolute

best I can for 10 months. I have changed my life for

my mom, by quitting my job and being her full time

caregiver. I would do it all again in a heart beat. I

am not a quitter and this REALLY hurts me to give up.

At least I feel like I am giving up. Sorry Mom!! Being

bedridden is really harder than you think it will be.

So Kaiser will give me 5 days respite and then

transfer her to a facility or back home. I will let

them know next week. I just ask that you all pray for

me and that I make the right choice. Thanks.

Dena

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