Re: Judy

March 3, 2006

Sandie,

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement and your very similar story,

my boys are but 5 and 10. It is the younger one that has the tight bond with

" gran gran " as he calls him. your dad too was very young. This surprised me

so much. Sometimes this all seems so surreal. I cry at the drop of a hat

nowadays. im so emotional.which for me is strange , Im usually the one that has

such a wall of protection. I pray so much for my parents to get through this

with as little difficulty as possible. It actually has brought them much closer

this year and I see just how much love really is between them. I think thats

the difficult thing because growing up with them, I always thought they should

have never been together yet here they are holding on to eachother so strong.

Anyway thanks again and I will continue on with courage and hope.

Sandie wrote: Hi Judy-

I wanted to respond to what you wrote. You will find you

will make it through this journey. My dad was 58 when

diagnosed and did fall under the 5-7 year life expectancy.

He passed away around the 7 year mark at the age of

65. My youngest son was around 2 when grandpa was

diagnosed and around 9 when grandpa passed. Dad

(grandpa) has been gone 3 1/2 yrs now. My dad struggled

so much with behaviors, hallucinations, depression and

couldn't talk the last 3 years of his life. So, life was

tough for him yet he lit up when my son was around.

There was a bond between grandson/grandfather

that was unbreakable. had a way of making grandpa

laugh and wasn't scared of or nervous around

grandpa. has grown into a caring and compassionate

12 year old. He helps out everyone, unprompted. I

do believe it is from being so involved in the care of

his grandpa.

I guess what I am saying is that even though today there

are many concerns and worries that you are facing,

and totally justifiable, you will make it through and your

boys will be fine. There is power in prayer and there

will be many people around the world praying for you,

your family, and your parents. Please ask any questions

you want, come here to vent, or even just to check in.

Sending you many hugs and sending up a special prayer

for you tonight-

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

" I have two small boys who dont quite

understand what s going on with their grandad and I am worried for them if

they lose him soo early in life. "

From: JUDY DUKE

Date: 03/02/06 09:39:21

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: RE:new to this process and seeking some answers

March 8, 2006

Judy:

I am in Ontario as well. With my Mum - we worked on the Seniors Facility /

Nursing Home Issue together. We came up with a list of priorities - progressive

levels of care, lots of activities, not institutional, generally in mid Toronto,

etc. etc. I am sure you have your own list. I did a Yellow Pages type search

on the internet (Canada411.com and 411.ca) using Senior's facilities as a

category and the general area (in our case Toronto Central). I also searched

the Ontario Retirement Communities Association website. From this list we went

through the list and crossed of those we had heard something we did not like. I

then e-mailed, wrote or telephoned my list asking my list of questions. I also

visited Web sites (if applicable). From the information received we chose 4

that we wanted to visit. We made appointments and did tours. At 2 of the

places we ate lunch. At all of them we asked for copies of their activity

calendars.

We then narrowed to 2 places and my sisters arranged to visit both of them. Mum

chose The Briton House (at Eglinton and Mt. Pleasant). They have loads of

activities and trips. The rooms are bright and cheerful. They have a concert

hall that they loan out to local talent for practices and the residents can sit

comfortably and listen. As well, fortunately for us (and Mum) they have

progressive levels of care. Mum started in May 2004 in independant living. She

is now on a secured " Memory Floor " and has been since February 2005.

There are lots of useful tips on the Ontario Retirement Communities Association

website (www.orca-homes.com) They have lists of sample questions, what to look

for etc. etc. I found the site very useful.

Hope this helps.

JUDY DUKE wrote: Kathleen,

Thanks for your reply, I am located in Ontario, Canada . I do hope there

are facilities such as your husbands. This would be great for Dad. The place

thats offering the daycare facilities is a NH so we'll see how it goes from

there. Its also pretty close to both mom and I and thats a plus. He still is

pretty normal for now, anyway. But I am aware that all this could change at a

drop of a hat, so to speak.

Judy

Kathleen Predovich wrote: Judy,

I placed my husband in an Assisted Living Facility (Sunrise Assisted Living)

There are 400 Sunmrise facilities within the US/. Also they purchased the

Marriott Facilities). Our Sunrise offers a wonderful life to residents -

entertainent both outside and within, Socials times, daily exercise, Religious

services, out to lunch bunch ,etc. It is a very bright and cheerie place and

my Husband enjoys it. I spend a lot of time there and often accompany him on

their outings. High School students come in and give musical performances,

Dance schools come in - we had Irish dancers last wk end and a piano player

came in and played music of their time. . I could not possibility offer him at

home the life style he has there. It is VERY difficult for me to take him

out, gettiiing him in the cart etc. They use a van to transport residents

and are staff members to help. It is much better than a Nursing Home. We

visited it and had lunch there a few times before he

spent his

first wk there when I had to go out of town. He becama full time resident in

July of 05 when it became too difficult for me to

handle him at home. THe socialization has been very good for him and he

has made

new friends. I don't know where you live but perhaps ther might be such a

place near by......................................Kathleen

JUDY DUKE wrote:

Hi everyone, Just came back from neurologist appt. for Dad. Well all

tests came back okay. there is supposed to be more blood work to get done,

something to do with all the headaches dads havin, also found out function of

his kidneys is " borderline " . We went home and dad was very quiet. He is fully

aware that he has lbd and what can and will eventually happen. He so hates

being alone so we called a nh about daycare and are checking it out thursday

afternoon.He cried and yet wanted to know more. I just told him it is what it

is and most important is spending time with loved ones and enjoying life for

as long as he can. I am a little unsure about the the whole process of

eventually putting dad in a nursing home fulltime but I do realize it will

come to that eventually and I so am trying to prepare every one for it. I

promised him that we will do everything possible to keep him home with us for

as long as we can. I've read a lot of message boards how

guilt feelings and

feeling like you are failing them when putting into home. I believe that

you are actually providing them with the best round the clock care and as long

as your still involved with the process you should feel at peace with

yourself. No lo I believe would want to put all that stress and frusteration

on their famillies , I sure know I wouldnt. So god bless you all through your

" lewyville " journies and thank you for sharing in mine. Your support and

encouragement really is making a huge difference.

Judy (daughter of lbd dad aged 60yrs)

March 8, 2006

Makes me want to live in Canada. Myrna in Missouri

Re: Judy

> Judy:

>

> I am in Ontario as well. With my Mum - we worked on the Seniors Facility /