Your Commanding Officer

[Guest guest]

ATTENTION!!!! Officer on bay!!!!!

The Commanding Officer of the 1st Division of the BFL Battalion, under the

High Command of Commandant Bill , the Power For Life Fitness

Fighters, smoothly and slowly makes her way down the wide aisle lined with

parade rest chests. One step at a time inspecting their PT uniforms, she

looks over each and every soldier.....

" Now listen hear troops! The place is here, the time is now! No more

whining! No more complaining! You came here to get in shape. What you

didn't know was that your lives were going to change too. This is your one

chance to change your body. This is your one chance to make such a dramatic

change that you won't EVER HAVE TO DIET AGAIN!!!! IS THAT RIGHT SGT????

Getting in 's face, he has no choice but to agree, " Ma'am, YES,

Ma'am!!!! "

" And why is that Sgt? " thinking quickly but coming up short blurts

out, " Ma'am, I don't know, Ma'am! " " WRONG!!!!! " She screams ringing poor

Sarge's ears. " Does ANYONE know WHY we won't EVER have to diet AGAIN??? "

A meek and shy Private steps forward prepared for the worst but confident.

The Commanding Officer hustles over to the Private and gets within in

millimeters of the Private....the new Private can smell that the CO had

Chocolate Myoplex for lunch today she's so close. " Well there Private I hope

your answer is as big as your balls. What's your name Private " The meek and

shy Private musters up all her might and shouts, " Ma'am Private Dawson

Ma'am. " " So what ya got Awesome Dawson? " " Ma'am, this is a lifestyle

change. I won't ever go back to my old habits. Body for Life is a change FOR

LIFE!!!!.....Ma'am!!!! " " INCREDIBLE PRIVATE! Never have I heard such

wisdom from a Private. Outstanding. And I'm willing to guess it's because

you just read the book and it's fresh in your mind. I encourage ALL of you

to re-read your BFL books. It's time to get back to basics. It's time to

relearn how we set goals. It's time to brush up on all the stuff we've

forgotten. "

Pacing about looking for a new victim, she picks on the Master Chief.

" Master Chief? " Angelo replies, " Ma'am yes Ma'am! " stepping forward within 6

inches of the CO. " Master Chief? Are you ready to lead these troops into

battle? Are you ready to turn these fat, flabby, out of shape pukes into

outstanding lean, mean, tough, and polished soldiers?!!! " " Ma'am YES Ma'am! "

" Good, I'm depending on you Master Chief. "

Pacing over the last of the recruits she comes across an especially petite

Corporal. Looking her up and down she asks, " What's your name Corporal? " In

an especially girlie voice coming from that especially petite body her voice

belted out with FURY, " Ma'am Corporal Luanne Ma'am!!! " " Well Dream

Catcher...what's the first thing you are going to do to get into shape? "

" Ma'am, Set Goals, Ma'am!!! " " GOOD!!! Glad to see you're doing your

homework. "

Taking a step to the left to the next recruit in line she sees a familiar

face...it's Corporal Gloria. " Corporal Glider... " Stepping out from the

troops, " Ma'am YES Ma'am! " " What is a whole meal in the Body for Life

program? " " Ma'am a portion of carbs and a portion of protein Ma'am! " " GREAT

another recruit who's got their act together. " High stepping it back over to

the Sarge, who is now sunkin' into his shell, furrows his brow in

fear.... " Sargeant? Here's your chance to redeem yourself. What is the size

of a portion? " Pausing only briefly, " Ma'am....the size of your palm or a

clenched fist, Ma'am! " " OUTSTANDING...you've earned your way back into my

good graces...but now Sargeant....what are you going to do to burn off all

that fat? " " Ma'am PT Ma'am! " " That's right Sarge...Physical Training...or

PT...affectionately known in these ranks as Pain and Torture! SARGEANT? Are

you ready to lead these troops out on the PT Course and train them in the

ways of the Training for Life method? " " Ma'am YES Ma'am! " " Great, we're all

depending on you to be committed, steadfast, empowering, and to be a stand

for all of the troops' success as a SUCCESS COACH. "

" We're missing something here....we've got food, we've got PT...what are we

missing. " Confidently another Private steps out from the stiff lines of

recruits. The CO walks over quickly to the Private and demands her name,

" What's your name Private? " " Ma'am Private Ma'am! " " Taz...you seem to

think that you know what we're missing...do you? " " Ma'am, supplementation,

Ma'am! " " You're right Private Taz, supplementation. " Stepping one recruit

to the right The CO addresses another familiar face, " Corporal Ziqena? Do you

know what's a good supplement to use to increase metabolism and help lose

fat? " In her loudest most powerful voice the Corporal shouts back, " Ma'am

Phen-Free, Ma'am!! " " Great! And do can you name another excellent supplement

for increasing lean mass and strength, which suppresses muscle protein

breakdown following exercise and enhances muscle energetics and

recuperation? " Again in her loudest most powerful voice, " Ma'am Betagen,

Ma'am!!! " " EXCELLANT!!!! " Addressing all the recruits, " What is the basic

supplement for ALL recruits in this Challenge who want to win? " All respond,

" Ma'am Myoplex, Ma'am!!!! " The walls reverberate with the power of their

voices speaking as one. " OUTSTANDING!!!! " Sarge, leads the troops in some

discipline!

" DROP AND GIVE ME 12! " Then I want another 10, and another 8 and another

6...and then when you are screaming 'CO GIVE US MERCY!!! " I want to see you

give me another 12! And when your arms are ready to pop out of their sockets

I want you to give me another 12....then you can go to the Mess Hall and have

your Myoplex. Sargeant! Proceed! "

Sarge cadences the count, " 1,2, 3.. " and the troops respond.... " 1 !!!! "

" 1,2,3 "

" 2 !!!! " .......

DISMISSED!!!!!!!