Re: Kind spouse adds to mate's pain level

[Guest guest]

That is the biggest load of crap I have ever read! I have a helpful husband

but I am still emotionally the one that deals with everyone. In fact when I

work too much I am usually in even more painthan when I do my normal amounts. A

big rasberry to that idiot. Yes, I love being in pain, like a rat I have

learned that when my husband babies me i want to be in more pain so i can get

more

attention. I would rather have that little babying than to work, travel and go

to the beach. POOOOH!

[Guest guest]

You mean I should actually thank my husband for not helping?

Geez.

Noreen

[ ] Kind spouse adds to mate's pain level

Kind spouse adds to mate's pain level

Tom Spears

CanWest News Service

Saturday, August 30, 2003

OTTAWA -- You can't kill your mate with kindness, but smothering

levels of it will make the pain seem worse.

That's according to Dr. Fillingim, who studied men and women

suffering from chronic pain and found their spouses are linked to a lot

of it -- but only because they're kind.

Fillingim found that people who suffer most from chronic pain are

the ones with the most helpful spouses. These are the spouses who

constantly offer to help, who ask how they're feeling, who fetch

everything to save their husbands and wives from having to move.

Fillingim, a psychology professor at the University of Florida,

studied more than 300 men and women who suffer from back injury,

migraines, arthritis or other chronic pain.

He asked them to rate their pain and disability levels, then made

them do tough physical tasks.

Finally, he checked out their spouses and ranked them as very

helpful and solicitous, or not.

Strangely, he found, the pain-wracked men and women who got less

help and less sympathy at home were better at dealing with their pain

than those with very helpful mates.

And he noticed another surprise: men and women in pain don't react

the same way to the help they get at home.

- Men with extra-helpful wives rate their pain levels higher on

average than other men. But while they complain more, this doesn't stop

them from functioning at the same level as other men in pain.

- Women who get extra sympathy and help from their husbands don't

rate their pain levels differently from other women. But they function

less well: They walk more slowly and leave home less often. They are

twice as likely to take prescribed narcotics.

In a weird way, Fillingim says, this actually makes sense.

" The idea is if you are a chronic-pain patient and your spouse

babies you, essentially you are being rewarded for being in pain, " he

said. " And the more reinforcement you get for engaging in pain

behaviours, the more pain behaviours you will show. Many physiological

responses can be behaviourally conditioned, and I believe that pain is

no exception to that rule. "

There's a lesson here: that trying to do too much for a person

with long-term pain may not be as helpful as it seems, he writes in the

Clinical Journal of Pain, a medical journal.

" We want them to help in a way that provides support for greater

independence . . . that maintains positive coping skills rather than the

sense that there's nothing they (people in pain) can do for themselves. "

Fillingim said brain scans conducted by German doctors have shown

that people with overly helpful mates actually have stronger pain

signals in their brains.

" So this suggests that a social variable, the presence of a

solicitous spouse, may actually alter how our brain responds to pain and

how we perceive pain, " he said. " It may not just be behaviours we're

conditioning here; it may be physiological responses. "

(OTTAWA CITIZEN)

© Copyright 2003 The StarPhoenix (Saskatoon)

[Guest guest]

I second that ! I have a very helpful husband but am very independent

and will do my best to do as much as I can myself. This study is just

another waste of money and the results are a bunch of bologna. Personality

is a very big factor. Some people are fighters and others are not.

a

> That is the biggest load of crap I have ever read! I have a helpful husband

> but I am still emotionally the one that deals with everyone. In fact when I

> work too much I am usually in even more painthan when I do my normal amounts.

> A

> big rasberry to that idiot. Yes, I love being in pain, like a rat I have

> learned that when my husband babies me i want to be in more pain so i can get

> more

> attention. I would rather have that little babying than to work, travel and

> go

> to the beach. POOOOH!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I was just checking to see if you guys are reading, LOL!

Re: [ ] Kind spouse adds to mate's pain level

> I second that ! I have a very helpful husband but am very

independent

> and will do my best to do as much as I can myself. This study is just

> another waste of money and the results are a bunch of bologna.

Personality

> is a very big factor. Some people are fighters and others are not.

> a

>

>

>

> > That is the biggest load of crap I have ever read! I have a helpful

husband

> > but I am still emotionally the one that deals with everyone. In fact

when I

> > work too much I am usually in even more painthan when I do my normal

amounts.

> > A

> > big rasberry to that idiot. Yes, I love being in pain, like a rat I

have

> > learned that when my husband babies me i want to be in more pain so

i can get

> > more

> > attention. I would rather have that little babying than to work,

travel and

> > go

> > to the beach. POOOOH!

[Guest guest]

LOL!! You're so bad !

a

> I was just checking to see if you guys are reading, LOL!

>

>

>

>

>

> Re: [ ] Kind spouse adds to mate's pain level

>

>

>> I second that ! I have a very helpful husband but am very

> independent

>> and will do my best to do as much as I can myself. This study is just

>> another waste of money and the results are a bunch of bologna.

> Personality

>> is a very big factor. Some people are fighters and others are not.

>> a

>>

>>

>>

>>> That is the biggest load of crap I have ever read! I have a helpful

> husband

>>> but I am still emotionally the one that deals with everyone. In fact

> when I

>>> work too much I am usually in even more painthan when I do my normal

> amounts.

>>> A

>>> big rasberry to that idiot. Yes, I love being in pain, like a rat I

> have

>>> learned that when my husband babies me i want to be in more pain so

> i can get

>>> more

>>> attention. I would rather have that little babying than to work,

> travel and

>>> go

>>> to the beach. POOOOH!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well all I have to say is that, " wouldn't you love to be married to this guy! " I

am afraid I would find that lost independance, and open a can of woop @##,

during one of those times when my pain levels was worse from all his kindness!

The 300 men and women that he surveyed in Florida, probably had migraines, back

pain and chronic pain due to the fact that they had to sit in his office and

listen to his crap!!!! Well that's my vent for the day....I am so grateful to be

married to a man who emotionally is there for me, who helps me deal with my pain

in ways this guy wouldn't even understand if he tried the rest of his misserable

life.....Sheri D

<Matsumura_Clan@...> wrote:Kind spouse adds to mate's pain level

Tom Spears

CanWest News Service

Saturday, August 30, 2003

OTTAWA -- You can't kill your mate with kindness, but smothering

levels of it will make the pain seem worse.

That's according to Dr. Fillingim, who studied men and women

suffering from chronic pain and found their spouses are linked to a lot

of it -- but only because they're kind.

Fillingim found that people who suffer most from chronic pain are

the ones with the most helpful spouses. These are the spouses who

constantly offer to help, who ask how they're feeling, who fetch

everything to save their husbands and wives from having to move.

Fillingim, a psychology professor at the University of Florida,

studied more than 300 men and women who suffer from back injury,

migraines, arthritis or other chronic pain.

He asked them to rate their pain and disability levels, then made

them do tough physical tasks.

Finally, he checked out their spouses and ranked them as very

helpful and solicitous, or not.

Strangely, he found, the pain-wracked men and women who got less

help and less sympathy at home were better at dealing with their pain

than those with very helpful mates.

And he noticed another surprise: men and women in pain don't react

the same way to the help they get at home.

- Men with extra-helpful wives rate their pain levels higher on

average than other men. But while they complain more, this doesn't stop

them from functioning at the same level as other men in pain.

- Women who get extra sympathy and help from their husbands don't

rate their pain levels differently from other women. But they function

less well: They walk more slowly and leave home less often. They are

twice as likely to take prescribed narcotics.

In a weird way, Fillingim says, this actually makes sense.

" The idea is if you are a chronic-pain patient and your spouse

babies you, essentially you are being rewarded for being in pain, " he

said. " And the more reinforcement you get for engaging in pain

behaviours, the more pain behaviours you will show. Many physiological

responses can be behaviourally conditioned, and I believe that pain is

no exception to that rule. "

There's a lesson here: that trying to do too much for a person

with long-term pain may not be as helpful as it seems, he writes in the

Clinical Journal of Pain, a medical journal.

" We want them to help in a way that provides support for greater

independence . . . that maintains positive coping skills rather than the

sense that there's nothing they (people in pain) can do for themselves. "

Fillingim said brain scans conducted by German doctors have shown

that people with overly helpful mates actually have stronger pain

signals in their brains.

" So this suggests that a social variable, the presence of a

solicitous spouse, may actually alter how our brain responds to pain and

how we perceive pain, " he said. " It may not just be behaviours we're

conditioning here; it may be physiological responses. "

(OTTAWA CITIZEN)

© Copyright 2003 The StarPhoenix (Saskatoon)

[Guest guest]

Now this I believe.

>! The 300 men and women that he surveyed in Florida, probably had

migraines, back pain and chronic pain due to the fact that they had to sit

in his office and listen to his crap!!!!

I do have to admit that I know women who like to be waited on, and use

illness, real or imagined, to get attention. They are, however, the

minority. Most women I know keep going, dispite pain, because they have to.

Having a helpful spouse

would not make the normal woman worse, just gratefull!

Noreen

[Guest guest]

Up until recently I was married to a man, who claimed I was faking

the pain my AS was and is causing me, always told me i couldnt be in

as much pain as i claimed to be, yelled and put me down constantly,

and then wonders why i found love and support somewhere else...the

man just disgusted me at times cant even look at him,...

Meanwhile years before hand I stook by him thru and thru when his

back went out he was in bed literally for 3 months, could not even

walk, due to a double-herniated disk in his lower back and eventually

had to have surgery after a yr of agony, but god-forbid when i was

and going thru pain...

When he knows damn well my pain is very real, his father and one of

our friends has the exact conditiion, only they cant seem to slow

mine down, like the others , then again they are both males, I wonder

if that makes a difference...

I am now with a wonderful man, who is there for me emotionally ,

physically in every way , but yet knows when the pain is too much for

the attention and knows when to back of for a bit and give me my

space...

I Have had some problems with my pain lately, in my new relationship,

i have moved from Canada, to Ohio in the US, and have not found a dr

im conmfortable with even going to a on first time basis as of yet,

so im running out of my meds, my cdn dr had me on 200mg of

Ketoprofen, 20mg of Pred , 200mg of celebrex ,a day plus supplements

and 6-8 pills of MTX a week,

Well Ive run out of MTX, and almost out of the pred. (have 4 days

left of my pred)

the others i have plenty of to do me till mid oct when i go back to

toronto, and can get the rest filled again.

ive tried upping the different meds , at the moment i have upped the

celebrex, to 400mg, as my RA doc told me thats the max i should be

taking....

anyone have any other ideas in the meantime?

mostly the pain has been all through my back and in the joints from

the hips downward, and i mean all of them'

lately my shoulders are acting up but not swelling, my mum is telling

me its prolly Bursitis, which runs in my family, as mum has it in her

knees, Im wondering if there is some link between AS and Burstitis,

(Anyone Know?????)

sorry for rambling soo, but its been bugging me, when my shoulders

hurt i can not move the arm what so ever, the only thing that knocks

the pain down some is extr strength A535 for arthritis, and 2

T3's.....

as for my meds running out, the local hospital here has a 'fast track

clinic " ive been there once for a sinus infection so i know they'll

see me , but im wondering if they will see me to get new

perscriptions to they can be filled here......gonna look into that

issue within the next day or so...

, in Bellefontaine,Ohio